


Right Under His Nose

by dbzkink



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Adult Dende, Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Alien Gender/Sexuality, Alien Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Awkward Flirting, Drama & Romance, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff, Foursome - F/M/M/M, Genderqueer, Group Sex, Intersex, Intersex Dende, Intersex Piccolo, Lemon, M/M, Misunderstandings, Namekian World-Building, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Open Marriage, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Rare Pairings, Romance, Shameless Smut, She also likes watching him get dick, She's fine with Vegeta needing dick, Supportive Bulma, Switching, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Piccolo (Dragon Ball), Unrequited Love, head canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 09:09:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 85,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25348243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dbzkink/pseuds/dbzkink
Summary: After Piccolo notices that Dende seems to be heartbroken by Gohan's marriage and life with Videl, he sets out to help his friend find new love to take his mind off Gohan. Unfortunately Piccolo discovers along the way that he has feelings for Dende, but as his former mentor, he tries to ignore the feelings and continue his quest to find love for Dende.
Relationships: Bulma Briefs/Vegeta, Dende/Piccolo (Dragon Ball), Piccolo & Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Comments: 93
Kudos: 46





	1. Impossibilities

**Author's Note:**

> Explicit gay/hermaphrodite alien biology/sex ahead. Don’t like, don’t read.
> 
> I’ll explain my intersex Namek headcanon because I can't really have it in the story without it seeming awkward since both Piccolo and Dende would know about their own bits. Nameks have a dick and testicles, but right behind their balls, they also have a tight, hidden slit that is the way they mate with males called a 'theadur.' When penetrated, it’s lined with a velvety type substance that makes everything slip and slide without lube. Nameks don’t have heats and their 'theadurs' basically demand cum, so they make it challenging to not get knocked up. So Nameks often have anal sex to avoid pregnancy. Nameks also consider touching, but especially fucking someone's 'theadur' pretty intense and it's usually reserved only for the person they intend to pair-bond with, the pair-bonded person is called their 'atheanna.' Yeah, I spend too much time thinking about Nameks getting laid, but if you're here, maybe you do too ;)
> 
> This is set shortly after Bulla and Pan were born, and I pretend, because I don’t actually know, that they were born at roughly the same time. My grasp of DBZ/Super timelines is slippery at best. In any case, Dende is very much a full-blown adult and has been for some time. He’s full Kami, no longer under Piccolo/Kami’s tutelage. I completely ignore all the actual plot of DB Super (tournaments etc…). 
> 
> Lastly, I like to imagine that New Namek has a fairly decent population as perhaps Nameks that fled the original disaster come back to resettle. Some other alien races have also settled, so there are actual cities on New Namek, if not very big ones. The introduction of external Nameks and other species also means there’s less homogeneity with clothing etc…As with everything, this means there are the more conservative traditional folks and those who embrace the changes, often leading to disagreements between those groups.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! Thank you for reading!

Piccolo often sat out on the edge of the lookout, looking up at the stars long after Dende and Mr. Popo had retired. He wondered what his life might have been like if he’d grown up on Namek, or if he’d found himself enslaved to Frieza as Vegeta had. Existing here, on Earth, seemed so utterly random that it took Piccolo’s breath away at times. Vegeta, arguably Piccolo’s only real friend, which neither of them would ever admit to anyone, seemed to share his sense of irritation at how fucking arbitrary everything was. How…irrelevant.

But that was before. Now, with a second, intentional child, Bulla, Vegeta had new purpose in his life, new focus. And not a lot of time for Piccolo. Which was fine. Piccolo longed for a different sort of companionship, and while he and Vegeta had met each others’ needs on and off in the past, that was before his commitment to Bulma, which he took seriously, even if he didn’t think it was valid since she wasn’t a Saiyan, and he didn’t have a tail, so he couldn’t truly mate with her in the traditional Saiyan sense. Vegeta loved his family and had somehow turned into a fiercely loyal father and husband. Vegeta’s domestication only supported Piccolo’s belief in absolutely nothing, because you just never knew what the fuck was going to happen no matter how hard you tried to find a pattern.

Piccolo’s cult-like following from his Demon King days was useful for getting laid, but not much else. Piccolo had tried to find meaningful companionship with the few humans he got along well with, but they were so…simple. Piccolo didn’t think of himself as a complex person, but every time he’d tried to Namek-kiss the humans—a sharing of thoughts and feelings via his antennae—he hit blank static and they received nothing but soft thwaps from his antennae. Humans surely had thoughts and feelings or the Earth wouldn’t be such a bizarre clusterfuck, but they were as inaccessible to Piccolo as his seemed to be to them. It disappointed him deeply. Since he could Namek-kiss with Vegeta romantically and as friends, and with Gohan in an entirely platonic way, Piccolo assumed that Nameks could make anybody do it, but it seemed that Saiyans were just pre-disposed to telepathy.

For months now, since Bulla’s birth, Piccolo had been picking up men and finding himself disappointed. Not once had any of them been able to connect with him on anything more than a physical level, and even that was lackluster as Piccolo was unwilling to share his hermaphroditism, unable to use his full strength, and uninterested in biting and clawing a weakling that might bleed out and die while fucking. Biting and clawing was such a part of Namek love-making that it was stifling not to have it. Yet another reason Vegeta had been a useful outlet, that man could take anything Piccolo could dish out in bed. But with only humans to date and sleep with, Piccolo was lonely.

But tonight his concern was not for his own romantic prospects, but for Dende’s. The young Kami’s loneliness since Gohan and Videl had Pan around the same time Bulla was born seemed to drape over Dende’s whole body like cold, wet cloth. The young man could barely breathe, it seemed. Piccolo offered to hold down the fort at the Lookout so Dende could spend time with the young Son family, but Dende always declined, saying Gohan preferred to see his master anyway. Piccolo assumed that Dende and Gohan had had some kind of romantic relationship over the years and that now Dende felt it too painful to see Gohan with his wife and daughter. Piccolo only wished there was some way he could alleviate Dende’s lovesick misery. Because he had no doubt that Dende was lovesick, Piccolo could feel it radiating off the poor man. 

Piccolo wondered if a trip to Namek was in order to at least get Dende laid since he seemed to feel that dabbling romantically with humans was off limits as the Kami-Sama of Earth. Piccolo would go see Goku in the morning and see about using instant transmission to take Dende on a field trip. Dende needed to move on.

It struck Piccolo as odd that it hadn’t worked out between Dende and Gohan. Dende was smart and kind and had grown out of his chubby Namek youth into a well-muscled young man with a handsome face. He had a wry sense of humor that often took Piccolo by surprise, as Dende could be so serious and literal at times. Gohan was sweet and loving and almost…naïve, which Dende was not, but clearly found endearing in Gohan. They’d had similar experiences of violence and terror and terribly high expectations of them as children. The more he thought about it, the more it pissed Piccolo off that Gohan hadn’t seen what was right in front of him. 

Piccolo didn’t dislike Videl, and he thought that a lot of his gut reaction to her was bleed-over from her insufferable father, so he knew it was unfair. It was more that Piccolo felt Dende deserved someone of Gohan’s caliber, and there simply weren’t many people that met that bar. Piccolo couldn’t think of anyone else. So Namek was the only answer. With that settled in his mind, he went off to bed, surprised to notice that Dende’s chi was still awake, still restless. The poor lovesick man.

* * *

After speaking to Goku, who readily agreed, though he had no idea why anyone would want to be saddled with a companion if it could be avoided, Piccolo returned to the Lookout to speak with Dende.

He found Dende working in his garden of healing plants, his robes rucked up between his legs and tucked into his belt, creating makeshift shorts and revealing his lithe legs. Piccolo watched him for a moment, heard Dende singing a traditional Namek folk song, a love song, a song of unrequited love. Piccolo didn’t even need his very shoddy Namekian to understand the feeling behind the song: Dende sounded absolutely morose and heartbroken. It was odd that his sadness has become so thick the past few months. It wasn't as if Pan really changed his hopes of being with Gohan, surely Dende knew Gohan well enough to know that he would never step out on Videl, whether they had children or not. Piccolo suddenly wondered if perhaps they had been having three-ways that had been put to an end by the strain of a newborn. Bulma regularly offered to bring Piccolo in, and he’d indulged a few times, but Vegeta was ridiculously possessive of both Bulma and Piccolo, so it tended to be more fraught than Piccolo wanted his ménages à trois to be. The thought of sweet Dende and nervous Gohan navigating a threesome with assertive Videl made Piccolo smile.

Dende looked up and his cheeks turned absolutely violet as the song died in his throat. Piccolo’s thoughts were well shielded from Dende and Dende was very polite about his mental infiltration, so Piccolo didn’t think he’d heard Piccolo musing about his sexual exploits, but it made him blush too, on the off chance that he’d just been caught thinking about his protégés having sex.

Dende tried to save them their mutual embarrassment as he said, “Hello, Piccolo! You startled me. I…my singing voice is terrible! I only sing alone so I don’t make anyone suffer. I hope you haven’t endured it long, though I suppose maybe it’s useful for your self-control? Resisting blasting me for caterwauling as an exercise in tolerance?” Dende chuckled a little and then blushed an even deeper shade of purple as he hurriedly fixed his robes.

“Your voice is nice. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sing before—“ Piccolo paused, Dende’s chest was heaving. Piccolo wondered if he ought to just leave the flustered man alone he was so embarrassed. “But that was a pretty sad song for such a beautiful day. I came by because I was wondering if you’d like to go on a field trip with me later today?”

“Oh! Um, well, yes, if you, um, certainly. Where will we be headed? May I ask…why?” Dende’s eyes sparkled with hope and excitement and Piccolo was glad he'd taken the initiative.

Piccolo thought maybe it was worth obliquely mentioning his sympathy to Dende’s plight. “Well…I thought we’d go to New Namek…as it hasn’t escaped my notice that the past few months you seem…forlorn. And…I understand. I do. But there’s no sense pining after something impossible. So maybe going to Namek would help you move on? Alleviate some of your loneliness? So you can sing happier songs?” Piccolo said the last part with a little helpless half-smile because he liked the idea of Dende with his robes hiked up singing some bawdy Namekian tavern song after getting thoroughly fucked.

Unfiltered shame rolled off Dende in storm-high waves. It was so visceral that _Piccolo_ felt ashamed. Piccolo quickly held up his hands and said, “Dende, there’s no need to be ashamed! It’s just…you know it can’t ever happen? You…it’s nothing to do with you, but it’s…it’s still impossible.”

To Piccolo’s even greater surprise Dende’s eyes filled with tears, he searched the ground in front of him and blinked rapidly, his breath coming in big awkward heaves as he clearly swallowed his urge to cry. Piccolo considered hugging him, but Piccolo still didn’t really understand how to comfort people. There was a reason he focused on fighting. After a long moment, Dende muttered, not looking at Piccolo, who now felt like a complete shit for bringing up Dende’s unrequited love for Gohan, “If it’s impossible, then yes, you’re…you’re right. Maybe…maybe New Namek is the way. I can find a new Namek. What time would you like to leave?”

“Maybe six? We can catch people about their evening, go to a couple taverns and see who’s out and about? Maybe we’ll both get lucky, huh?” Piccolo said, trying to lighten the mood by pointing out his own single and hopeless status.

Dende gaped at him with such open hurt that Piccolo wished he could undo the entire conversation. He wished he’d just left Dende to his moping. Dende looked furious now, which was understandable. Piccolo had embarrassed him by bringing up Gohan, and then insinuated that their chances were equal on a planet where Dende knew the customs and the language and had lived amongst them for many years. Of course Dende would be able to find someone, but Piccolo was still considered an outsider amongst the Nameks. As Dende walked off, obviously making a concerted effort not to stomp, Piccolo called, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings!”

Dende cast a sour look over his shoulder, gave a bitter laugh before he said, “See you at six,” and disappeared into his chambers. Piccolo made a note to always stick to fighting and teaching people to fight. He sucked at interpersonal stuff. What a disaster. Now Dende would likely ditch Piccolo the moment they made it to Namek. The thought of drinking alone amongst the strangers made Piccolo want to vomit. It was bad enough on Earth, but here there were always a few people who would fawn over him, so he never had to sit alone long.

* * *

That evening, Piccolo almost choked on his own tongue when Dende emerged from his chambers only once Goku had arrived at the Lookout. Dende looked _gorgeous_. He’d forsaken his Kami robes and the more traditional Namek garb. Instead, he wore a low-cut, sleeveless, tunic in a flattering periwinkle over a pair of dark, sparkly skinny jeans, sexy black boots half-way up his calves, and a very detailed copper snake wound around the upper edge of his bicep. Dark kohl outlined his eyes and Piccolo was almost positive he had _glitter_ on his cheekbones. Dende meant business tonight. He was dressed to seduce.

Dende arched an eyebrow at Piccolo and rested all his weight on one hip, holding his arms akimbo as if challenging Piccolo to say something to him. Piccolo was speechless. He felt like a fucking rube in his white, short-sleeve, button-down and dark jeans. Oh fuck, and Piccolo was blushing. Because he suddenly saw Dende for what he was, a beautiful, sexual creature that had been right under Piccolo’s nose this whole time. But Piccolo was Dende’s mentor, that would never do, and on top of that, Dende clearly preferred men more like himself, gentle creatures with soft hearts and less…murderous…tendencies than Piccolo. Piccolo absently ran a hand over his mouth before he stammered, “You…you look great, Dende…Um. Are you…are you ready to go?”

Dende nodded and looked grim as he said, “Yes, I thought a change in appearance might enhance my chances since before, as I was, loving me was an _impossibility._ ” He extended his hand to Goku who took it.

Piccolo said, stupidly, “Yeah…I, uh, yeah, I’m sure you’ll have your pick of possibilities tonight,” and he desperately wished he were one of them. Dende even smelled incredible, some subtle botanical scenting his skin. He smelled positively _edible_.

Dende only looked away from him and Piccolo felt guilty for being the one to bring this truth to Dende’s attention. How could he have possibly thought things would work out between himself and Gohan? Maybe Dende still didn’t understand Earth marriage? Or…Rage simmered up Piccolo's spine as he realized that perhaps Gohan had been leading Dende on. Gohan disliked conflict, so maybe he just kept dangling possibility in front of Dende and Piccolo had been the often unpleasant voice of reality. Piccolo would be speaking with Gohan the next day because if that was the case, he owed Dende an explanation and an apology. Piccolo resolved to make sure Dende found someone to warm his bed at the very least.

Goku left them in Yapuural, one of the larger cities on New Namek, agreeing to be back the following morning, Namek time. Dende swung his face to Piccolo with confusion. “But…what…where…where are we staying? I haven’t spoken to my family and I…I can't bear the shame of telling them that I came here to…um…to…to hit on people. Plus…they…I’m…I wouldn’t dress like this if I knew we were seeing them!”

“We’ll get a room,” Piccolo said and Dende’s face scrunched up in utter bafflement, so Piccolo continued, “Or two! I'll pay, don't worry! Come on, you need a drink.”


	2. What Happens in Yapuural Stays in Yapuural

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a wee (SFW) fanart to go along with this chapter if you want to go check it out: [**Last Call**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25530766)

Piccolo needed a drink too, because every pair of eyes in the bar crawled over Dende. Unfortunately, those eyes then found Piccolo’s ominous presence and skittered away in terror. Piccolo was probably not going to get laid tonight. He was just too fucking…intimidating. But he needed to find a way to avoid cock-blocking Dende.

Piccolo ordered himself a _giyaka_ , the only intoxicating drink Nail ever imbibed, so it wasn't that he wanted a _giyaka_ , but because he didn't want to seem _that_ ignorant of everything Namek in front of Dende. Dende raised an eyebrow at Piccolo and ordered the same thing. “That’s an interesting choice. But I guess it’s going to be that kind of night,” Dende said, appraising the crowd and looking even more forlorn than usual. He sighed.

“What does that mean? Is…is _giyaka_ not a good drink?” Piccolo flushed with embarrassment. Had he just made an even bigger ass of himself? Likely. That was how this whole plan had gone so far. Gods, Piccolo needed to stick to solitude or fighting, the only things he seemed capable of not fucking up entirely.

“It just means we’ll be very intoxicated.”

“Oh. I…uh…you didn't have to get it. I'm a lot bigger than you.”

Dende’s eyes slid up Piccolo’s body in a way that made Piccolo’s groin throb more than he felt was strictly appropriate as a response to his former student’s inspection. “Yes. You are quite a lot larger than me. Oh well. Too late now. I will drown the impossibility of my desires and find some poor fool who doesn’t think it’s impossible to be with me, at least for tonight.”

The bitterness in Dende’s voice cut Piccolo to the quick. He wanted to tell Dende what a catch he was, how attractive and funny and generally easy to be around, which was saying a lot coming from Piccolo, of all people, because he absolutely bungled almost all forms of “being around people,” but always enjoyed himself with Dende. “Dende, don’t be so hard on yourself. You couldn’t have known it would turn out this way.”

Dende, for the first time, seemed not angry, but confused by Piccolo’s statement, his eyes narrowing and his brows coming together. He looked up at Piccolo, his mouth pausing halfway to speech, before he shook his head and looked back down at the bar where the _giyakas_ had just been placed before them. Dende picked his up and tipped it toward Piccolo’s and said, “To a new Namek.”

“To New Namek,” Piccolo answered, noting that this was the second time Dende had misused a definite article. Dende’s English was normally impeccable so it surprised Piccolo. But he sure as shit wasn’t going to correct Dende’s grammar tonight, or ever. Dende’s eyes narrowed again in another look of confusion, but then tipped his drink into his mouth.

Piccolo’s pulse soared seeing the beautiful length of Dende’s neck stretched and exposed the way it would be if his head were thrown back with pleasure instead of drink. Piccolo needed to stop this line of thought, so he tossed his own drink back.

Liquid, acidic fire ripped down his throat and it was all Piccolo could to not cough and splutter. His eyes watered and Dende laughed. Piccolo’s watery eyes saw Dende’s drink with a barely noticeable amount gone. Dende said, “Piccolo, you may be larger than me, but I’m fairly certain you have no tolerance for drink of any sort. You don’t drink on Earth, do you?”

Piccolo croaked, “I thought…fuck. Oh, sorry,” Piccolo knew Dende rarely swore.

“I know the word ‘fuck,’ Piccolo. I even know what it means,” he said, his kohl darkened eyes glimmering up at Piccolo so…seductively…that Piccolo felt his belly heat with more than the _giyaka_ -flames licking his insides.

“Um, yeah, I don’t drink much on Earth. Vegeta and I get lit up occasionally and everything we drink we do in shots. You know, where you—“

“I also know what a shot is, my large, potentially naïve bar companion. I’ve even _done_ shots, if you can imagine. It’s interesting that you and Vegeta would drink together. It makes a certain amount of sense, but I didn’t realize the two of you spent any time together outside pummeling each other to avoid your feelings, something at which you both excel.”

Piccolo had the distinct impression Dende was teasing him…possibly even flirting. “Oh yeah, we do. Not that much, neither of us being exactly sociable, but even villains feel like…hanging out.”

“You’re hardly a villain, Piccolo. Do you still perceive yourself that way?” Dende said, canting his head to the side.

“It’s not like I get to undo my crimes. I’ll always be a villain on the inside. Probably still would be if not for godsdamned Goku.”

“I rather think the gods _don’t_ damn him. He’s quite favored among their ilk.”

Piccolo laughed out loud and Dende gave him a little devious smirk as he took another sip of his drink. They exchanged a bit more banter before Dende abruptly looked upset again, and declared, “I’m going to go dance and stop bothering with impossibilities.”

“You’ll look amazing with the firelight around the dance floor…” Piccolo flushed and wished he had kept his stupid mouth shut as he bumbled on, “Um, I mean, you look amazing in regular light, but…fuck. Sorry. Yeah. Have fun. I’ll stay here so I’m not ruining your chances. Every person that’s checked you out practically ran away when they saw you were with me.”

“But you’re not _with_ me,” Dende bit out.

Piccolo nervously rubbed the back of his neck, then stopped, realizing this was one of the stupider habits he’d picked up from that idiot, Goku. “Uh, yeah. No. I know. They…um, but they don’t know that.”

“Strange that they don’t see it as an impossibility,” Dende said, and strutted out onto the dance floor. It was a live band tonight, pounding on their drums and playing other instruments whose names Piccolo was too lazy to rummage around in Nail’s consciousness to find. Piccolo was too busy trying not to be very, very excited watching Dende dance. Dende’s cares seemed to lift once he was out on the dance floor. He moved elegantly, almost erotically, and Piccolo grew even more uncomfortable in his position as Dende’s wingman. That was not the position he wanted to be in tonight. A flash of Dende riding Piccolo’s hips almost made Piccolo groan. 

He ordered himself another drink and the bartender said, “Your Namek sucks, so I assume you’re not a native, so can I give you a bit of friendly advice?"

"Sure?" Piccolo said warily.

"You’re gonna want to slow down on the _giyakas,_ buddy. These hit you like Frieza after a bit. They start slow, then transform, you know? And I’d hate for you to have…trouble…with your sweet little date later.” The bartender winked and jutted his chin at Dende’s lithe body moving hypnotically in the firelight.

Piccolo gaped and stammered, “Oh, uh, no, I’m just…I’m a friend, I’m just trying to help him move past someone that broke his heart.”

The bartender laughed hard and walked away. Weird. Were all the Nameks in the bar just sloshing their consciousnesses around in some sloppy mind-orgy that excluded outsiders? Piccolo sipped this drink, but it tasted even worse that way. Why was _this_ Nail’s drink of choice?

Turning back to the dance floor, Piccolo’s eyes widened. Dende was dancing with a tall warrior Namek, not so tall as Piccolo, and not as well muscled or broad, but still very good-looking. Another rather graphic image flashed in Piccolo’s mind and he pushed it away. Poor Dende didn’t need Piccolo preying on him in his grief-vulnerable state. Dende was a limber dancer, his hips moving in the rolling way that Piccolo saw in Earth’s belly-dancers and his partner was loving it, his fingertips trailing over Dende’s hips as he spun and snapped his hips, then bent in half, whipped himself back upright so sensually Piccolo’s jaw fell open. He never even imagined this side of Dende.

Dende looked up, of course, as Piccolo sat there gobsmacked and mouth-breathing like an idiot who’d never seen a gorgeous man dance like he was born to do it. Piccolo’s face felt like fire. Dende’s little smirk looked…vindictive…as he turned back into his partners arms and now his hips snapped and rolled suggestively toward the man, who seemed as shocked as Piccolo, but with the benefit of getting to touch Dende, smell Dende, move along with Dende.

Piccolo knew it was a terrible idea, but he was desperate to dull the throb in his loins, so he chugged his _giyaka_ and gasped, wiped his mouth and tried to focus on the music instead of Dende’s body moving like it intended things other than dancing with his pretty warrior partner. Piccolo turned and said to the bartender, “What’s a…a reasonable drink so I’m drunk but not…you know, stupid drunk?”

The bartender quickly mixed something up and said, “Sip. Stop pouring everything down your gullet like you’re a sewer. Where the hell are you from that this is how you drink?”

“Earth.”

“Earth? Like Goku’s Earth?”

“The very same. I was there. On Namek. With Frieza.”

“Well, shit, this one’s on the house. You must be what’s-his-name…” the man paused, then snapped, saying, “Paccalo or something?”

“Piccolo. Close enough. Yeah.”

“Your sexy pal is native though. He moves like he knows Namek dancing, Namek music. Why _aren’t_ you his date?”

“Oh, he wouldn’t want that, I’m not his type.”

The man laughed and nodded at the dance floor and said, “You sure?”

Piccolo turned to see the warrior’s hands sliding up under Dende’s tunic, touching his bare back. His waist. Piccolo sat in stunned silence. Why had he thought this was a good idea? What if that asshole broke Dende’s heart? No. Piccolo needed to calm down. Dende needed a good rebound. He could try to find a companion some other time. Piccolo supposed the man did favor Gohan in his own Namek way, roughly the same height and build, though the aggressive sparkle in Dende’s partner’s eyes was very not-Gohan.

Dende’s eyes kept flitting to Piccolo. Did Dende think he needed Piccolo’s permission or blessing for this? Because Piccolo felt increasingly like he wanted to withhold his blessing and take the blessing of Dende’s godsdamned seductive hips in his own big hands and feel them move like that. Perhaps he should just do that. What was the worst that could happen? Dende would rebuff him and they would have an awkward evening? They were already having an awkward evening…Or were they?

Piccolo had been having fun until the man’s hands found their way under Dende’s top. Dende’s face faltered and Piccolo saw in that flash that Dende was not having a good time. He didn’t want the man’s hands on him, but he didn’t want to tell the man to fuck off because Dende was too nice to do something like that. Piccolo threw back the drink the barman had given him, watching raptly. Eager to see if Dende would extricate himself. Should Piccolo step in? Did Dende only dislike it because of his lovesick longing for Gohan? For the impossible?

The song ended and Dende gently slid his hands down the warrior’s arms and held his hands, politely thanked him for the dance and walked back toward Piccolo. Shimmied, really, as the next song followed closely on the heels of the previous song.

“Your mouth is open, Piccolo,” Dende said, and sipped his drink. He noticed Piccolo’s glass was a different style. “Oh dear, you’re already finished with your second drink. I’m strong, Piccolo, but I would prefer not to carry you to an inn as you would be ungainly and I’m certain you’re very heavy. It would also be unseemly, given our purpose for coming to Namek, bizarre though it feels to do so together,” Dende took another long pull of his drink, shaking his head like he’d been forced to watch something particularly stupid and say nothing.

Piccolo felt fine though, not even buzzed. “I’m not a lightweight. And this is my third. But it wasn’t a _giyaka._ He said this was tamer. It didn’t taste tamer though.”

Dende looked skeptical as he appraised Piccolo. “Your cheeks are flushed. Why did you come with me tonight? Why not just send me off on my own now that…that you’ve said your piece.”

“I didn’t think you’d be so mad at _me_. It’s not like I can _do_ anything about it, Dende. I’m just trying to help.”

Dende’s head tipped to the side and his eyebrows came together and his eyes narrowed. He pursed up his lips and considered something for a long time. This look seemed to scrunch up his face every time Piccolo tried to clarify his purpose. Instead of speaking, Dende shook his head vigorously.

Piccolo said, “You looked like you were having fun. You dance beautifully. I’m learning all sorts of new things about you today.”

Dende’s eyes snapped up to Piccolo’s, glittering dangerously. “Perhaps you made your judgement about my potential too soon?”

Piccolo had the distinct impression they were talking past each other at times. “You want to stay here, dance a little more with your warrior? Or move on?”

Now Dende’s eyelids—darkened with kohl, and yes, that was definitely glitter on the beautiful curve of his cheekbones, making Dende look so damned sexy—lowered and then his eyes distinctly moved up Piccolo’s body and he said, “My warrior?” and raised an eyebrow in question.

Piccolo swallowed hard. It felt like Dende had just checked him out. Checked _Piccolo_ out. He said, his voice almost cracking, “The guy you were dancing with? He seemed…friendly.”

“Oh, yes. Too friendly. I tried to feel it. And it was fine when I could pretend it was just dancing, but…” Dende trailed off and shook his head hard again. “Never mind. It’s up to you, Piccolo, as the leader of this field trip.”

“Do you want to dance more?”

“Why don’t you dance? Aren’t you trying to pick someone up as well?” Dende bit out.

“I don’t want to interfere and I would. And um, I don’t know, I’m too big to dance.”

“That’s simply untrue. I’ve seen how you move when you fight, you would be dancing like a native in no time. Dancing is good for the soul, Piccolo. It doesn’t have to be about sex, you know.”

Piccolo wondered if that was Dende’s way of inviting him out to dance? “I never have. Danced. I mean. I’ve had sex. Obviously.” Good gods, Piccolo needed to stop speaking. What an absurd thing to say.

“Yes, of course. Obviously. I can show you how to dance, if you wish?” Dende said, his eyes dancing back and forth between Piccolo’s as he gazed up at him, his expression inscrutable.

“I…uh…Won’t I embarrass you? And how are you going to pick someone up if you’re dancing with me?”

“The night is young. Besides, everyone in this bar knows you’re not native, they’ll think it’s adorable until you’re good at it, then they’ll think it’s something else.”

“Wha—“

“Come on,” Dende said, swallowed the rest of his drink and slipped his hand into Piccolo’s, a feisty, defiant look in his eyes as he dragged Piccolo to the dance floor.

After every song, Piccolo swore he would move them on to the next bar, or at least set his _very_ drunk ass back on a bar stool. Dancing with Dende was as intoxicating as any drink in any bar in the universe. His small, capable hands on Piccolo’s hips caused thoughts that Piccolo stifled again and again to avoid the lighthearted fun of their dancing lessons turning into a horribly awkward situation.

Dende was a good teacher, and Piccolo loved watching his little demonstrations, lifting his tunic to display his hips, his taut little ass, and his slender waist as he rolled all of them in mind-boggling ways before again touching those same parts of Piccolo, all meatier, thicker, more powerful, and making them move under his expert hands until Piccolo was actually dancing all on his own with his small, sexy companion. They were dancing and smiling and laughing and it was so much _fun_. Piccolo so rarely had fun. Dende’s arms occasionally slid up around Piccolo’s neck, or his hands drifted down onto Piccolo’s hips.

Which was how they wound up at the same bar until last call, both very drunk, and neither with anyone to take back to a room, which they still needed to find in their silly, inebriated state. Dende leaned heavily against Piccolo as they tumbled chortling out into the night after Piccolo paid their tab. “And you thought you _dancing_ was an impossibility. You were wrong about that, maybe you’re wrong about other things, hmmm???” Dende slurred and Piccolo kept his arm wrapped around Dende’s back, gripping the high side of his waist, as they stumbled toward the nearest rooming house that Piccolo could see. When the woman had a room, Piccolo wanted to weep with gratitude, but when he asked for two, she said she only had the one. He started to leave and Dende said, “For Kami’s sake, Piccolo, we can share a room, I assure you, I’ve received your message loud and clear,” the note of bitterness suddenly returning after hours with nothing but sweet, wry Dende.

Piccolo was too drunk to parse out what was happening there, so he just paid, took the key and they staggered to the narrow stairwell, falling down in a green fit of inebriated giggles when they realized that Piccolo’s broad shoulders precluded them walking side by side, and Dende was barely staying upright. Dende’s laughter had reached the point of silent wheezing as he gasped, “Just, just…just get behind me, Piccolo,” and smacked his face into Piccolo’s broad chest, laughing even harder.

“Then your ass will be in my face,” Piccolo chortled and breathed, “Which is not ideal. Here, here, here, I’ve got a good idea. Come on,” Piccolo almost choked on his hysteria at his idea to avoid groping Dende’s ass, which he would undoubtedly do if it was right there in front of him. He dropped onto his knees and patted his own back, “Come on, saddle up. I’ll just carry you up the rest of the way. If I throw you over my shoulder, you might puke.”

Dende’s giggles gradually died when Piccolo didn’t stand back up. “Wait, are you serious?”

“Yeah, come on, I’m tired, let’s go, get on me, Dende,” Piccolo said, inciting himself to another round of chortling at this double entendre that would likely fly right over sweet Dende’s head.

Piccolo stifled a groan when he felt Dende’s lean thighs settle on either side of his waist, his little hands sliding over Piccolo’s traps almost sensually to hold onto Piccolo’s pecs. Dende’s touch thrilled him as the younger man slid his hands inside Piccolo’s shirt. Dende was too drunk to consent to anything and Piccolo suddenly, painfully wished that _he_ was the one Dende pined for, the reason Dende sang love songs. He wished he could fulfill that longing for his former protégé. Piccolo was too drunk to be certain, but he thought Dende’s fingertips were maybe, just maybe, brushing his nipples intentionally. It was driving Piccolo wild as he wrapped his hands under Dende’s legs. That sent his imagination into a feeding frenzy of ideas and fantasies.

He staggered into their room and turned so his back was to the bed, the single king-sized bed, and let Dende fall unceremoniously off his back onto the plush mattress. Turning around so soon was a mistake. Dende’s legs were still splayed wide and he looked like a sexy, disheveled mess, the sweat from dancing still drying on his skin, the kohl smudged, a big silly grin revealing his fangs. Piccolo realized how rarely he saw Dende smile like this, a big unabashed, delighted ray of life shining up at Piccolo. Dende’s tunic was rucked up to reveal his flat, toned belly, and how low his jeans rode, a mere hand’s breadth from what Piccolo had been fantasizing about all night.

He backed away from his delicious companion and dropped onto his knees. He started trying to undo the numerous buckles on Dende’s boots. Why was he undressing Dende? _That_ would not end well. Dende weakly pushed himself up on his elbows and started cackling, throwing his head back, revealing that delicious stretch of throat again, practically begging for Piccolo to bite his way up it to Dende’s sharp-tongued mouth.

“What are you on about, hmmm??” Piccolo slurred rather more flirtatiously than he meant to speak.

“Piccolo, you’re…you’re hilarious. I always think of you as older and wiser and full of knowledge, so it amuses me when you…when you do things like drink _giyakas_ like shots. Or try to unbuckle my boots like you’ve never undressed a single soul.”

“I’m drunk, there’s a lot of them!” Piccolo protested, though he hadn't yet managed to unbuckle even one.

Dende curled up bonelessly and bent to help Piccolo, revealing the hidden zipper along the inside, making short work of both boots, sending Piccolo into another fit of chuckling. “No one I’ve undressed has been dressed this sexy,” Piccolo growled, and, defying every loud, screaming bit of sense in his brain, lightly trailed his claws up the back side of Dende’s freshly revealed calves, feeling the heat and the sweat-damp denim, the hard muscles underneath the rough cloth. 

The brush of Dende’s antennae across his own made Piccolo moan helplessly. It must have been an accident, but Piccolo leaned into the Namek-kiss and Dende gasped, “How strange that we’ve never shared _peluwsa_ …” and then Piccolo was flooded with such heat and desire and lust and aching love that it fueled Piccolo’s rage and jealousy that Gohan had cast this aside so easily after years of stoking these fires. Piccolo gently pushed away and swallowed as he felt himself getting hard.

Dende didn’t help the situation as he shimmied out of his tight, sweaty jeans and threw off his tunic, leaving himself basically naked, since all he wore was a tight pair of black boxer-briefs. Oh lord of lords, Dende was hard. Piccolo needed to run away. Dende rolled onto his belly and looked down at him with his seductively narrowed eyes. Eyes that seemed to see right through Piccolo. Dende’s eyes were pure fire.

Piccolo said, “Did you ever tell him you feel this way? Good gods, Dende, why didn’t you tell him before it became impossible?!”

Dende’s eyes and nose scrunched in confusion and he leaned closer to Piccolo, the _giyaka_ heavy on his breath, but it was still sweet under that, still so fucking kissable. Dende slurred, “What!? Tell…tell who, Piccolo? Who do…who do _you_ think I have those feelings for?” Dende began to giggle again, his eyes watering.

“Gohan, of course! The whole reason I took you out tonight! You’ve been a mess since he had Pan a few months ago. I don’t know why that changed the dynamic, but I just…Gohan isn’t going to leave his wife, Dende. You need to move on,” Piccolo said and though he wanted to offer some form of physical comfort, Piccolo wasn’t sure about what was appropriate, especially when one party had a hard-on for someone who wasn't present, and when Piccolo had a hard-on for his own impossibility. Gods, no wonder Dende was so morose. Being lovesick _sucked_.

Dende’s giggles became wild hoots of laughter and he covered his mouth to try to contain his mirth as he shoved Piccolo’s shoulder playfully, laughing more and more until he slowly faded into snores as he passed out. Well, as everything else with this entire plan, Piccolo had fucked that up too, and worse, he couldn’t shake the feeling of Dende’s spicy love for Gohan, the fiery passion, that unslaked need. A growl of longing came unbidden into Piccolo’s throat and he threw both hands over his mouth, silently begging the universe for Dende to stay asleep. The spine-tingling feel of their antennae brushing was so fresh that Piccolo wondered if it was perverse to go in the bathroom and take care of himself before sleeping on the floor well away from all drunken temptation.

He bent over the bathroom counter and shamelessly imagined it was not his own big hand sliding up and down his length, but Dende’s petite one, the way it would barely fit around Piccolo’s girth, the way Dende’s lithe body would press against Piccolo as they kissed and Piccolo stroked him simultaneously. His fantasy ran away on its own then and Piccolo considered dipping into his _theadur,_ imagining Dende’s delicate hand sliding right inside him and doing wicked things, and the things that Piccolo would like to do to Dende in turn. He imagined his tongue slipping inside Dende’s velvet heat, and then he came, bringing him painfully back to his lonely reality where Dende loved Gohan and other soft-souled intellectual types. 

Dende’s passion was too fiery for someone as squishy as Gohan. Passion like what he’d felt in Dende’s _peluwsa_ was…incendiary…No meek submissive foolish _boy_ could manage that intensity. Dende maybe didn’t know it yet, but he needed to redirect those flames toward a man. It was a shame he hadn't connected with that warrior. Even if it would have infuriated Piccolo. That man looked like he could satisfy Dende sexually, if nothing else.

Cleaning up, Piccolo returned to the bedroom and allowed himself the bitter indulgence of looking at Dende asleep for a moment. He was sprawled on his belly, his pert little ass begging to be bitten and slapped and penetrated, the small ropes of muscle on his back relaxed, but no less delicious looking, and his face blissfully expressionless, not sad and miserable as it had been for months. It was unfortunate that Piccolo’s own sadness and promiscuous bender over not getting to spend as much time with Vegeta since Bulla’s birth coincided with the time when Dende probably could have used a confidante. But now Piccolo didn’t think he could do it. Because Piccolo feared that he had just fallen thoroughly in love.


	3. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I set up a ko-fi account if you're so inclined: www.ko-fi.com/dbzkink! Thanks for reading and commenting and kudoing! I love getting to share my stories with you all!

When Goku appeared in their room the next morning, Piccolo was hung over and already heartsick. Dende, to Piccolo’s great relief, slept until Goku took his sleepy, maybe still slightly drunk, hand. Bleary-eyed on the Lookout as he blinked in the bright morning sun, still in just his deliciously tight boxer-briefs, Dende flushed such a deep purple that Piccolo feared he would have a stroke.

Piccolo said, “I…um…Sorry you didn’t get laid, Dende, but, well…I, uh, I had a great time anyway. Really. I haven’t had that much fun in ages. Or maybe ever. So thanks for sacrificing your evening to teach me to dance,” and with horror realized he was blushing and rubbing the back of his neck again. Fucking Goku and his dopey-ass habits.

Dende’s face slowly morphed into a shocked, pleased half-smile and he said, “I did, as well, Piccolo. I wouldn’t change a thing. Except perhaps my hangover, but it was well-worth it.”

“I don’t suppose your healing powers work on hangovers?”

“I’m afraid even if they did, I’m quite exhausted. If you’ll excuse me, I, ah, I should get cleaned up and back to my work. Thank you, Piccolo, sorry if I was…surly.”

“Not at all. I get it. Not being with the person you love sucks.”

Dende canted his head to the side again and said, “Indeed, it does. But perhaps things are not as dire as I feared.”

“Dende…”

“Good day, Piccolo. Make sure to drink plenty of water, eat some salt.”

“I…okay. Yeah. Take care, Dende,” Piccolo said, fighting his absurd desire to hug Dende, even if it was the least absurd of his desires.

Piccolo fled before he made an even bigger ass of himself. Today was Gohan’s day off, so he intended to shower and go straight to his pupil’s house and speak with him about ending any nonsense with Dende. The young Namek didn't deserve to be led on.

Arriving at Gohan’s, he found the young man looking frazzled and sleep-deprived. He had Pan in the yard. “Hi, Piccolo! What brings you by? I feel like I hardly see anyone since Pan was born.” He gave a nervous little chuckle and for a moment looked and sounded so much like Goku that Piccolo kind of wanted to slap him.

“I need to talk to you about something before Videl gets up.”

“Oh? Sure! Have you hit it off with someone?”

“What?!” Piccolo almost screeched, afraid that somehow he’d accidentally broadcast his his clandestine feelings for Dende.

“I thought maybe if you found a lucky lady you might be coming for some advice, you know, since I'm a married man and all,” Gohan said with a lascivious wink and a proud chuckle as he puffed out his chest.

Piccolo’s lip twitched up in a bemused quarter-smile as one eyebrow lifted until it was nearly pushing up his antenna. “Do you…do you think I’m a virgin? A _straight_ virgin?” Piccolo couldn’t decide whether to be so amused he died laughing or so insulted that he decked Gohan.

Gohan’s smile faltered and he stammered, “You mean…you…oh! You’re…you’re _gay_?” He whispered the word “gay,” as if it were an especially terrible curse word.

“Yes, obviously, how have you not known that?” Piccolo said, annoyed that they were somehow talking about _his_ love life when he’d come here to talk about Dende’s.

“And you’ve…you’ve…you know…done it?” Gohan blushed to the roots of his hair, maybe his scalp was blushing too.

“Gohan, you know lots of people have sex and _never_ get married, right? Surely Videl wasn’t your first? I mean, that’s the reason I’m here.”

“To talk about my virginity?” Gohan said, perplexed, “But, yes, Videl was my first. I…My mom said you could kill a girl if you had sex with her and didn’t marry…” Gohan trailed off. Paused. Blushed a darker maroon. “Wow. And I believed her. Um. Okay. Er, so what did you want to talk to me about if you don’t need advice?”

“About Dende.”

Gohan wiggled his eyebrows, the licentious smirk returning, as he crooned, “Ooooh, so maybe you _do_ need advice, huh?”

“Wait, what?! If Videl was your first, then you and Dende _never_ had sex? Not ever? Did you guys just stick to hands and mouths? Or does it not count if it’s anal according to your mother’s bullshit?”

Gohan’s jaw dropped. “Why would I have sex with _Dende_? He would never! I mean, he’s Kami, for one thing, and my best friend for another, and aside from that, he’s hopelessly in love with someone else,” Gohan said and looked at Piccolo as though seeing him for the first time. “Well, maybe not _as_ hopeless as I thought.”

“So…wait, what? Really? You guys weren’t making out on the sly all the time? He always felt so jittery and nervous whenever I was around you two, like he was in love, like he was scared I was going to find out his secret and be mad. So…but…okay. Fuck. Now I am beyond confused. But…”

“Piccolo, do you really not know? Are you that daft? Man, I might be a virgin, but you’re—“ Gohan trailed off as Piccolo glared at him.

“Still your godsdamn master, Gohan.”

“Oh. Right. Why would you think that Dende and I were a couple? I’m straight.”

“Well, yeah, but Nameks are both, so, you know, you could still pretty much be straight. Also until Videl, I didn’t really think you were straight.”

“I mean, I had a crush on _you_ for a while, but as I got older I realized that I didn’t want to be _with_ you, I just wanted to _be_ you. Then I met Videl and I knew what I really wanted. But no, Dende and I are really just best friends. I suppose we’re maybe softer than many male friends in that we hug and hold hands, but that’s just how Dende is. That’s how _Nameks_ are, except you, of course,” Gohan said the last part like it was obvious that Piccolo wasn’t really a _Namek_ -Namek. Just an Earthling in a big green Namek carcass.

Piccolo put his fingertips to his forehead. Surely Gohan wouldn’t lie to him? Gohan was a terrible liar, so Piccolo felt confident this was the truth. He said, growing exasperated with the entire conversation, “Well if he’s not pining away for you, then why the fuck has he been so morose since Pan was born?”

“Piccolo…um…can you think of anything else that coincided with Pan being born?”

“No, not really. I just assumed you no longer had time for your little side-piece or threesomes or whatever it was you guys were involved in together.”

“Gods, Piccolo, _threesomes_? Who actually has _threesomes_?” Gohan said with a chuckle.

Piccolo scratched the back of his neck. Stopped abruptly and said with narrowed eyes, “Well, I do, for one, but don’t…is that…is that not normal for married couples?” How had this conversation gone so far afield? _Why_ did he just tell Gohan that he had threesomes? Fuck, if Gohan didn’t even know Piccolo was gay, he certainly didn’t know _Vegeta_ was gay. Gayish. 

Gohan’s eyes popped so much Piccolo feared they would hit his glasses. “ _You_ have had a threesome? With _who_??”

“We’re off topic here. You said something else coincided with Pan’s birth?”

“Well, yeah, you’ve been gone constantly since Pan was born. Dende thought it was because you had a crush on _me_ and were off sowing your wild oats since, I don’t know, Pan was the nail in the romantic hope coffin or something. I told him so many times you weren’t gay, that now I feel like a bit of an idiot. Where have you been the past few months? Are _you_ upset that I had Pan? Oh gosh, _are_ you gay-in-love with me?”

“You can just call it love, Gohan, gods. But no. I love you as a son, not romantically. I guess, yeah, I guess I have been…preoccupied for the past couple months, but what does that have to do with _Dende_ being lovesick and lonely over _you_?”

“Piccolo, seriously? Dende isn’t pining away for me. I think you ought to talk to _him_ about who he’s pining away for. And you might want to tell _him_ you’re gay.”

“But he’s omniscient, how does he not know?”

“That would be a gross misuse of his powers, Piccolo, you know that.”

“Well, yeah, but surely…Huh. Okay. Well, whatever. I guess…I don’t know. He got really upset when I tried to talk to him about it yesterday. We went to Namek last night to try to get him a rebound piece and it didn’t work out and now I feel shitty even though we had a good time.”

“You…you two went out?” Gohan said, trying to sound casual and failing miserably.

“Not like that, Gohan. It was to get over _you,_ I thought, but I guess I was wrong, so I should go talk to him, but I might talk to a friend first. A friend who knows no one dies from pre-marital sex.”

“Who? Oh! Is it the person you have threesomes with? Wait—oh my gods—do you have threesomes with _Trunks_ and _Goten_? Oh my goodness! Piccolo, have you had sex with _my baby brother_? Oh no! Don’t tell me!” All the red drained from Gohan’s face and he went pale and wide-eyed.

“Gohan, seriously? No, I haven’t slept with those two, and I will never sleep with those two. Gross, they’re fucking teenagers. Ew. I feel fatherly with them, at most. I’m off. Have a good day. Hang out with Dende once in a while, he’s lonely. He’s lovesick and it obviously hasn’t worked out. I’m sure he’d enjoy a visit from his best friend.”

* * *

Piccolo wanted to go to Vegeta immediately and seek his friend and former lover’s advice, but he also couldn’t imagine laying the absurdity of his problem out before Vegeta. Vegeta was an arrogant asshole: it never occurred to him to question whether he should go after something he wanted. That was how he and Piccolo wound up fucking the first time. One day after training, Vegeta simply said they had good chemistry and asked Piccolo if he’d like to fuck, shocking Piccolo so much he had been speechless, only able to nod. 

But even if Piccolo had Vegeta’s brass balls and iron ego, Piccolo felt it was wrong for him to want Dende in this way. Dende was…Dende was…well…Dende wasn’t a child anymore. Hadn’t been for many years. And last night had brought home the fact that Dende was a sexual creature, which Piccolo had known abstractly before, courtesy of his erroneous assumptions about Gohan and Dende’s relationship, but now he knew it viscerally. Tangibly. It was a mouth-watering reality with glitter on its cheekbones and tight, black boxer-briefs hugging its very real, very bitable ass.

Piccolo wondered who the mystery flame in Dende’s mind was if it wasn’t Gohan, because Piccolo did reluctantly believe Gohan. It was upsetting to hear that Gohan had been preaching that Piccolo was straight to Dende, which meant Piccolo had undoubtedly never crossed Dende’s mind as a sexual prospect. Even if that had occurred to Dende, Piccolo realized with nausea inducing horror that it wouldn’t be enough. Seducing Dende would be delightful and Piccolo would very much enjoy every second of ravishing his sweet Namek friend, but Piccolo wanted to possess Dende. Wanted Dende bound to him forever. The strength of Piccolo’s sudden, but undeniable, feelings was alarming. He groaned, hating the mystery man.

Piccolo avoided sleeping at the Lookout. He used to stay there frequently, finding it easier to rest up away from the incessant noise and burbling weak chi of all humanity, but he hadn't stayed even once since the disaster on New Namek. He came up with a thousand different apologies for Dende, but whenever he was faced with the wide, sad eyes of his former protégé, he simply found words clotting up in his throat and ended up filling the awkward silence with gruff, surly small talk before inevitably fleeing with shame that he was so lust and love addled he could no longer speak to one of his dearest friends.

Making matters worse, he could feel that Dende was even more despondent since their outing on New Namek. Undoubtedly because Piccolo had told him he had no chance with the mystery man, which now that Piccolo knew it wasn’t Gohan, filled him with guilt. What if the mystery man was desperately in love with Dende and had only been biding his time and Piccolo had fucked up Dende’s chances? 

It aggravated and infuriated Piccolo to imagine the unnamed suitor soothing Dende’s heartache at long last, but it also pissed him off that the fucking asshole didn’t see what a gem Dende was, how entirely perfect, how beautiful and intelligent and fun. The dick just needed to figure his shit out and stop making Dende so godsdamned miserable. If Piccolo knew who it was, he would personally kick his ass, even if it was counter to Piccolo’s own interests.

Piccolo waited and furtively watched Dende from afar, hoping to see him interact with anyone that might be the heartthrob in Dende’s mind. Piccolo’s impression of the man was that he was attractive, tall, and strong, and maybe a little aloof, but generally a good-hearted person, though he tried to hide it behind a veneer of cool indifference. Piccolo couldn’t think of anyone who fit that bill. Until it occurred to him: Dende might be in love with _Vegeta_. But surely…Piccolo wondered suddenly if Vegeta maybe just had a _thing_ for Nameks. That would also explain why Gohan had hinted heavily about something else that happened around the time of Pan’s birth: Bulla’s birth. Vegeta was suddenly much less available.

Piccolo’s wrath that Vegeta hadn't told Piccolo about Dende was twofold. Vegeta was Piccolo’s best friend, and Piccolo was almost certain that _he_ was Vegeta’s best friend in turn, so why hadn’t Vegeta told him? But Piccolo was also ridiculously jealous. That fucking Saiyan. Didn’t he have enough? To take the only other Namek on the planet out of the runnings. It rankled Piccolo.

He stewed about it and the next time he saw Dende, he mentioned Bulla’s birth and how busy Vegeta had been. Dende said, looking like he could not possibly care less, “Oh? I suppose having a newborn does monopolize one’s attention. I had forgotten that Vegeta and Bulma had another. Strange that he and Gohan are both fathers at the same time when Gohan’s younger brother is of an age with Vegeta’s firstborn. Human mating cycles are strange. Is Vegeta involved in Bulla’s life much? You seem concerned about it. Do you two not train as much as you’d like any more?” Dende’s general melancholy remained, but didn't seem to fixate on Vegeta. He barely seemed to register Vegeta's existence at all. So who the fuck was Dende in love with?

The mystery man needed to get with Dende or die, Piccolo decided. So he needed to figure out who the fucker was and be done with it. If the unrequited lover wouldn’t be with Dende, Piccolo was fine with murdering him so Dende could move on, with the absurd fantasy that Dende would see Piccolo as some sort of savior for purging this unworthy prospect from his life. But Piccolo frowned. Dende would never want a big brute like Piccolo. Or maybe he would. Now that he thought about the man in Dende’s mind, he was a bit of an obtuse brute. No human was as strong as the man in Dende’s mind, so Dende had clearly inflated the man and put his undeserving carcass on a pedestal.

Every time Piccolo saw Dende now he looked more and more depressed. He actively avoided Piccolo, which Piccolo supposed was natural after the way Piccolo had pissed on his dreams the night of the New Namek debacle. When Piccolo tried to spend time with him now, the little Namek always had duties to attend to, and slowly, Dende disappeared from Piccolo’s life completely. Piccolo wanted to die. No Vegeta. No Dende. It would have been bad enough _before_ he’d fallen in love with the sexy little Namek, but now it was purgatory. If he bothered to go up to the Lookout at all, Mr. Popo was the best he could hope for as company.

Piccolo couldn’t live this way. He couldn’t just let Dende slip into a death spiral of despair. The poor little Namek’s chi had even declined over the past month since Piccolo’s idiotic gaff. So Piccolo decided the time had come to enlist the help of the only person who might have a clue what to do. 

Piccolo left his sad excuse for meditation to seek the advice of his only real friend besides Dende, knowing it would be mostly mockery, likely frosted with some recalcitrant jealousy. When he banged on the gravity room’s door, Vegeta called from the veranda of the Capsule Corps compound, “What are you doing, Namek, I’m over here feeding Bulla! Have you forgotten how to sense chi?”

Piccolo touched down next to him. “Sorry, I’m stressed out. And hung over. Again. I’ve been drinking too much.”

“Oh? Still trying to get me out of your system with pathetic humans?” Vegeta said with a wicked little smile.

“No. Well. Yes. But…mostly, a few weeks ago I took Dende out to get Gohan out of _his_ system, but I fucked it up.”

“How? Did you break the poor delicate man since you’re accustomed to fucking a Saiyan?” Vegeta said with false venom, his eyes glittering with mirth.

“What?! No! I took him to get laid on Namek, but then no one would approach him because I was there and well, you know, look at me, even if you can kick my ass, it _looks_ like I’d eat your ass for breakfast—“

“And have, on occasion,” Vegeta said, chuckling merrily.

“Can we focus for a minute? No, I just…It…I…I think…Fuck…I don’t know why I bothered to come here. I thought it was Gohan that he’s been moping about, but Gohan said there’s never been anything between them. I was sure those two were fucking from the moment they discovered their dicks. Then I was sure it was you because Dende drunkenly Namek-kissed me and I saw flashes of the mystery man and he’s all surly and aloof, but strong.”

Vegeta stopped his rambling as he said, rolling his eyes, “Gohan is basically a nun, Piccolo, and if he was going to fuck a Namek, he would’ve tried to fuck _you._ Of course Dende isn’t pouting about fucking _Gohan_. And _I_ have never even entered Dende’s mind since I terrified the moralizing little shit on Namek when he wouldn’t heal me. But haven’t _you_ been relentlessly fucking every sad sack human that you can drag home to your lair for the past few months? I’ve felt you going at it practically every night and I don’t have to like it even if we’ve not been together for a very long time. I know you miss our threesomes since Bulla’s—“

“I do not, I hate our threesomes, you’re so fucking prickly that nobody but you ever has any fun—“

“That is just bullshit, you get off many, many—“ Vegeta snarled.

Piccolo cut him off, “That is not the measure of having _fun_ , Vegeta, I can get off in my bathroom with my hand, that doesn’t make it fun, it’s just fucking sad—“

“Well, my point is, _you’ve_ been fucking moping since Bulla was born because even if we weren’t fucking anymore, you _miss_ me, don’t you?” Vegeta said with a smirk.

“Fuck, I knew you’d be a dick—“

“Oh fine, I’ll stop taunting you,” Vegeta said, and he met Piccolo’s eyes, lowered his voice and continued, “I miss you too, you know. You can still come around. You like kids, why not hang out with me and Bulla? Bulma is always working and Trunks and Goten are always fucking, so it’s not as though I’m unavailable to be your _friend_ anymore. But what did you do with that scrumptious little Namek?”

Piccolo muttered, “I guess I _have_ missed you…but I’ve been fucking around mainly because Bulla made me realize I want my own family. My own partner. But humans…I don’t know. I can’t seem to find one that fits. Anyway, I took Dende out to help him get over his unknown unrequited love, but I thought it was Gohan. Now that I reflect on some of the shit I said, I probably sounded like an idiot. Anyway, he got really upset when I told him he needed to move on from this impossible crush of his, but he agreed to go to Namek with me. He got all tarted up and then we had a great time dancing, and, and, and, and…fuck…now I have a crush on him! But I’m…isn’t it…inappropriate? And besides, we shared _peluwsa_ and I felt how he feels about the mystery man and it’s insanely passionate, I’ll never crack through that. I don’t know how he’ll ever move past that, but…fuck. I don’t know. I feel like shit. I want to help him. But I don’t know what to do. He won’t even talk to me anymore. He avoids me. And I should stay away, because it’s wrong…Now I need to get over him, but I still want to help him either get with the idiot he’s wasting away for or get over the stupid fucker. Gods, Dende looked so fucking hot, Vegeta. I don’t know how I didn't see it before,” Piccolo had been rambling and had to take a few deep breaths.

“Do you have a picture? No fun you telling me about hot Nameks and not showing,” Vegeta said, crossing his arms tightly and arching a brow at Piccolo after he set Bulla free on the patio. She was already crawling and pulling up. Fucking Saiyans.

Piccolo was ashamed that he had clandestinely taken a picture of Dende dancing, before that stupid fucking warrior got his mitts all over Dende’s svelte waist. But shame didn’t keep him from pulling it up on his phone, startled to find quite a lot of drunken selfies with Dende that he had no memory of taking. He handed his phone to Vegeta.

Vegeta’s smirk widened and he said, “Well it’s about fucking time.”

“What?”

“That boy has lusted after you since his first little hard-on and I’m glad he finally brought himself to your attention. Good gods, I thought I was going to have to invite _him_ to one of our threesomes just so you two could finally see how well your green cocks fit in each others’ _theadurs_.”

“ _WHAT!?_ ” Piccolo shrieked. “What are you talking about? You mean…you mean…you think…you think he…that I? I’m the one that…but…but…but I’ve been around forever and never even had the slightest. No way. There’s no way Dende has a thing for _me._ ” Piccolo’s heart shifted from fast beating to vibrating. He thought he might actually pass out if that was truly Vegeta’s point.

“Oh yes he does, my oblivious friend. Amusingly he thinks you have the same crush you thought he had. I’ve heard him muttering to Gohan that he knows he’ll never win your affections from Gohan, and Gohan insisting that you’re straight, to my great amusement. Do you know Gohan actually talked to me, not minutes after you and I had had sex in the bathroom, about how you were straight. I nearly died. How he didn't smell you all over me is still a mystery. Gohan also asked me how Bulma and I were handling Trunks and Goten coming out,” Vegeta could hardly finish speaking as he laughed with such glee, Piccolo thought he might keel over. “How is the boy even more oblivious than his father? It’s hilarious. Although you’re acting like a Son yourself. Did you honestly not know that Dende’s been carrying a torch for you? And here I thought you just weren’t mentioning it to spare my feelings, to avoid my jealous wrath.”

Piccolo’s mouth fell open and he thought back to Dende saying “ _a_ new Namek.” Not “New Namek.” Oh shit. So many other odd things Dende had said made sense now. No wonder Dende was angry. He thought Piccolo told him to piss off, and then took Dende out and slobbered all over him like a complete teasing fuckwit. Then Piccolo had been awkwardly coming around and trying to hang out. Godsdamnit. Piccolo needed to stick to fighting and solitude. But part of him…well… _all_ of him, really, rejoiced. Because he wanted Dende. He wanted him _badly_.

Piccolo said, “Fuck, Vegeta, how do I fix this?”

“Fix what?”

“I really pissed him off. And I like him. I want…I want…don’t get mad, but I’d…I’d like to try to, you know, _be_ with him.”

“Piccolo, for fuck’s sake, I’m married. My _baby_ with my woman is biting your foot, I can’t possibly get _mad_ that you want a real relationship—“

“Vegeta, you can get mad about literally everything—“

“Shut up, Namek, I’m trying to be a good friend. I enjoy our friendship and I miss fucking you, but…” Vegeta shrugged and continued, “Don’t you ever fucking tell a soul I said this, but I wish you happiness, more than anything. And we…you and I…we’re…too similar, don’t you think? For anything…long term?”

“Maybe. No sense pondering. Maybe after Bulma’s gone, Dende and I will invite you to _our_ bed for threesomes.”

“He’s quite adorable the way he blushes when I catch him eyeballing your beautiful, thick ass.”

“Are you just saying all this so I’ll make an even bigger fool out of myself?”

“While that does sound entertaining, no. I’m tired of both of you moping. Gods, I can feel his unhappiness down here. It’s tedious. Plus the boy is past due to become a man. One shouldn’t be allowed to become a god as a _virgin_.”

“You think…you think he’s a virgin? Fuck, Vegeta, I can’t be his first, what if I fuck it up?”

“You’re very good in bed, Piccolo. Put that naughty tongue of yours to good use, those long, slender fingers. And then eventually you’ll be able to show him the glory of your big, beautiful cock. Make him your delectable little _atheanna_.”

Piccolo laughed and Vegeta joined him as Bulla climbed Piccolo’s leg like a little koala. “Should I just go tell him I figured it out?”

“No, gods, no. Have you no subtlety? It’s a good thing I picked you up, you bumbling idiot. Not everyone can handle the way I came on to you. You suggest that the two of you have a do-over of your little trip, and that you’ve had time to think and that maybe _nothing_ is impossible, and make sure you put some seductive eyes into that, not that you know a thing about being seductive. You’ve been spoiled with the way those weakling humans fawn over you.”

“You fawn over me too, you grumpy little man.”

“Be that as it may, it sounds as if you’ve bruised his already fragile ego, so take him out, have dinner, not a dive, but not a crazy candlelit sort of place. Ask him to take you to his favorite place for Namek cuisine. Then you say that you had so much fun dancing you want to do it again. Then you take him to the inn again, and this time instead of failing to figure out the basics of Earthling footwear, you fuck his brains out and he can die happy or live on to keep fucking you, whatever.”

“You make it sound pretty simple.”

“It _is_ pretty simple. Don’t fuck it up any more than you already have. How could you not know he’s in love with you? It was like everyone being surprised by Trunks and Goten. They constantly eyeballed each other even before they hit puberty and after puberty they became one smell they were so rarely free of the other’s scent. I once actually thought Trunks was at my front door when it was Goten because he reeked so thoroughly of my son. You Earthlings are a dim lot.”

“Fuck you,” Piccolo said, smiling.

“Well, not anytime soon, it seems,” Vegeta said a little wistfully, surprising Piccolo. Vegeta rarely got sentimental with him. Maybe it was sleep deprivation. Shock didn’t begin to describe Piccolo’s reaction as Vegeta floated up and kissed him tenderly on the mouth, holding his jaw, then pushed their foreheads together, and shared _peluwsa_ with him. Piccolo felt the finality of it, like Vegeta was letting him go. A month ago, Piccolo would have wept, because Vegeta gave him some small source of light and love and pleasure in his life, even when they went months without seeing each other, but now, Piccolo felt okay. It felt nice to have a goodbye like this. Piccolo knew they would always be friends, but he knew this was Vegeta acknowledging the seriousness of his feelings for Dende.

Vegeta pulled away with a last little peck and said, “Well, if he turns out to be wild in bed, maybe we can do a foursome sometime.”

“If he’ll have me at all after what a dick I’ve been without even meaning to be. Is it…is it wrong, since I was his teacher?”

“Piccolo, he’s a god now, I think if anyone wields influence and power, it’s the omniscient party. Go forth and make a man out of that poor lovesick boy.” Vegeta’s growling chuckle made Piccolo smile and they bid each other farewell.


	4. Possibilities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bonus chapter for the Twitter love I got tonight :D Also sorry if the editing is crap, I may take another pass at it pre-hospital, but may not, depends on how efficiently I adult the next few days. Thanks to all my loyal readers, commenters, and kudo-ers! 
> 
> I set up a ko-fi account if you're so inclined: www.ko-fi.com/dbzkink! Thanks for reading and commenting and kudoing! I love getting to share my stories with you all! 

Piccolo touched down at the Lookout and decided he would root Dende out no matter how he tried to hide. All of Dende’s reactions to Piccolo fit with what Vegeta said, so Piccolo, despite his general belief that he was unworthy of love, especially the love of someone like Dende, was forced to concur with Vegeta that Dende might actually be in love with him. With Piccolo. And Piccolo couldn’t be happier about it. His stomach churned remembering the way Dende’s Namek-kiss felt; that Dende maybe had those feelings about _him._ He had to work hard to keep a completely dopey smile off his face.

“Dende?” Piccolo called, searching out his friend’s chi.

Piccolo could feel Dende trying to slink into some hidden nook of the Lookout, but Piccolo caught him, and didn’t corner him exactly, but put his imposing figure between Dende and escape. Piccolo found it strangely titillating to see him in his billowing Kami robes now that he knew what lurked beneath them. That sensual, petite body with its snappy hips and lithe, lean muscles.

“Oh, Piccolo. Um. I…I have work to do. Is there something Mr. Popo can help you with?”

“No. Only you can help me.”

Dende’s eyes darted up to burn into Piccolo’s and his brows furrowed. “What could I possibly do for you that Mr. Popo couldn’t?” Dende sounded weary. Exasperated.

“Go on another field trip with me.”

Dende’s eyes searched his, puzzled. “Why? You made your feelings pretty clear the last time…"

“No. I didn’t. I was operating under erroneous assumptions that I have corrected. I want to go out, eat, drink, and dance. With you. Not fucking Mr. Popo.”

Dende looked down as he waged some inner battle. He flushed a little as he smirked and said, “Perhaps I will, on one condition.” 

“Name it,” Piccolo said casually, but his stomach knotted up with worry.

“ _I_ get to pick the drinks this time. How do you even know what a _giyaka_ is?”

The knot in Piccolo’s belly untied and he laughed and said, “Nail, of course, my source for all things Namek. That was his drink, so I just went with that. I’m so ignorant about Namek, and I didn’t want to make an ass of myself in front of you, but managed to do so anyway. Can you go tonight? You want to show me how to properly drink? I want to try some Namek cuisine too, do you know a good place?”

Dende’s eyes widened and his mouth opened. Shut. Opened again for a long moment before he said, “I…yes, of course, but I…um…well…wasn’t…Very well, I guess?”

“Unless you’re too busy? We could do it another night?”

“No. Tonight is fine. Yes. Okay. Maybe there’s…possibilities…you haven’t even considered at Namek pubs?” Dende swallowed hard, his eyes hopeful, but he looked like he might throw up if Piccolo said the wrong thing.

“Maybe, I’ve realized maybe _nothing_ is impossible, it just took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure it out. I’m a bit thick, it seems,” Piccolo said, his eyes searching Dende’s, and he hoped he wasn’t making a fool of himself. 

They were standing close and Piccolo was tempted to sweep Dende up in his arms and try kissing him, but decided to wait and see what their evening brought. Piccolo didn’t want to push Dende too hard after beating the shit out of his poor ego with his idiotic attempts at “helping,” followed by a month of inept bungling, and what undoubtedly seemed like salting Dende’s wound. 

They agreed on a time, and Piccolo left wondering how to avoid losing his shit the rest of the day. He considered going to Vegeta to ask what he should wear, but he knew Vegeta would find the question irritating, hating anything that wasn’t his battle suit and finding Earth clothes to have unnecessary variety.

He knew who could help him though.

* * *

This time when he touched down on the Lookout, Piccolo did not feel like a rube. He felt like Dende’s jaw might drop a little. The fabulous thing about being a powerful mage in love who hoped to woo and win a better dressed man’s heart, was that as long as Piccolo could see an outfit, he could create it on himself. It was especially useful as someone seven feet tall with shoulders like a book shelf. Piccolo didn’t go in for flamboyant things so the person that came immediately to mind was Trunks. Trunks dressed elegantly but unostentatiously. He was elated to give Piccolo a tour of his closet and opine on various pieces Piccolo replicated on himself. 

He ended up in a silvery grey suit of Dupioni silk, black on the warp, silver on the weft. It shimmered beautifully combined with a black, sateen button-down, no tie, unbuttoned enough to show off Piccolo’s pecs. Piccolo hoped Dende would take the change in his level of effort for what it was.

Piccolo saw Dende going about some last minute business before Goku showed up to take them to Namek. Piccolo’s jaw dropped again at what Dende kept hidden under his Namek sacks and Kami robes. Tonight he wore a flowing pair of wide-legged slacks that hugged his taut little ass and rode his hips like they might fall off at any moment. His top was a vivid orange that looked phenomenal with Dende’s skin’s shade of green, slightly limier than Piccolo’s, and the color looked amazing with the light, warm sandy hue of his slacks. The top was sleeveless again, and Piccolo wondered if Dende knew that his arms were lovely—strong with good definition, though not bulky like Piccolo’s. This shirt had the added, tantalizing feature of being almost completely open in the back. Piccolo realized it must be a Namek style because it displayed the change of Dende’s skin texture perfectly. It criss-crossed from the wide straps across his shoulder blades and then fell open, framing his entire back. 

Dende turned. Piccolo stifled a groan: the tank’s front dipped low enough that the red ribbing around his abdomen peeked out beneath his shapely pecs. Dende’s collarbones glistened with a sheen of sweat from the warm, humid evening.

Dende’s eyes went wide and then met Piccolo’s, full of questioning, like he couldn’t quite accept what this change in attire might mean. Piccolo’s instinct was to confess his error in some awkward, likely incoherent, manner, but he reminded himself that he sucked at social stuff, and settled on taking Vegeta’s advice, like he was some paragon of interacting pleasantly with other sentient creatures. Though Piccolo had to admit that Vegeta was a shockingly astute judge of human (Saiyan and Namek, too) character and emotion. It felt a little unfair that someone who absolutely hated almost everyone should be so good at understanding all of them. Although maybe that was _why_ he hated them.

Piccolo gave Dende a nervous smile and stopped himself before he rubbed the back of his neck. He sauntered over to Dende since Goku hadn’t arrived yet. He said, “You look lovely, as always, Dende.”

Dende pulled in his chin and his mouth curled in a confused little smile. “You look quite dashing, Piccolo. I’m surprised to see you so…dressed up.”

“I’m a slow learner, but not a complete idiot,” Piccolo said and smirked. Tonight Dende’s eyes were outlined with pale metallic gold that shimmered in the low-lying sun, flecks of orange glitter on his cheekbones. Piccolo wanted to kiss each sparkle, brush his thumbs over the green bedazzled ridges.

“Did you feel out of place on Namek with your clothing last time?”

“I felt out of place sitting next to you. I felt like a schlub.”

Dende laughed, throwing his head back a little. “I’m not sure you could ever look like a _schlub_ , Piccolo, even if you went out in sweat pants and a dingy white t-shirt.”

“I promise I will never underdress that much.”

“I think I might be the underdressed one tonight.”

“No, you look perfect.”

Dende’s brows came together even though he smiled. It was clear Piccolo’s change in tune was confusing him. He didn’t want to jerk Dende around, so he had to make sure tonight went well so Piccolo could end it by kissing Dende’s sweet, fanged mouth, if not more. Before Dende could respond, Goku popped into existence right between them, grabbed their hands and took them to New Namek leaving with the same promise as before, shouting, “ChiChi is mad at me, so I gotta run!”

Piccolo looked down at Dende and said, “You hungry?”

“Yes, I’ve been craving Namek food. Earth food is delightful, but I’ve missed a few of the things you can only get on Namek.” Dende flushed and looked away from Piccolo with a little smirk and Piccolo wondered if they were both having the same dirty thought.

Piccolo said, “Lead the way, I put myself in your capable, Namek hands as merely a tourist in a big, lumbering Namek body.”

Dende nudged Piccolo with his elbow and said, “Not _lumbering_ , but you are very obviously a tourist. We got as drunk as we did last time thanks to your ridiculous, non-native drink choices. I swear Nail pretended that _giyaka_ was his favorite drink as he merged as a little practical joke. No one drinks _giyaka_ except complete lushes and cheapskates.”

Another layer of horrified understanding settled on Piccolo. Not only had he unintentionally and unknowingly told Dende to piss off on their last outing, but he had then purchased the drink of drunks and spendthrifts, sending a dual message that he needed to be very drunk to spend time with Dende, and that he’d prefer to do so on the cheap. Piccolo wanted to crawl in a hole and die. He said, “I didn’t want you to know what a non-Namek I am, and that was all Nail coughed up.”

“Why would you care what I think of you, Piccolo?” Dende said and looked up in genuine puzzlement.

“Because I really like you, Dende,” Piccolo answered, unable to think of anything clever. He continued, “I spoke to Gohan the other day, after we got back.”

Dende froze, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. “Oh? I know you’ve been struggling since Pan was born. You must miss him very much.”

Piccolo would have said anything to reassure Dende, but when he honestly considered this, he answered truthfully, “No. Not really. I didn’t have much left to teach him anyway and his power dwarfs mine. I _have_ been lonely since Vegeta had Bulla. He and I used to spend a lot more time together, but Gohan…I love Gohan like a son, but that means he’s not exactly a friend, if that makes any sense? But some stuff that confused me when you and I hung out last time makes more sense now.”

“Such as?”

“Why you laughed until you passed out when I told you you needed to get over Gohan.”

Dende started giggling again. “The very idea of being with _Gohan_. I didn’t just pass out, I almost died from mirth. He’s so…childish. I love him dearly, of course, but to take him to bed would feel…perverse. But I confess I’m surprised to hear you say you don’t miss him. That he’s as a son to you,” Dende said more seriously and watched Piccolo intently.

“Did you think I…that Gohan and I…were…like that?”

Dende smiled sweetly and said, “It appears Gohan has maybe been rather more busy in both our imaginations than he ever has been in real life.”

Piccolo couldn’t help snickering as he said, “I feel just like you about taking him to bed. The thought never even crossed my mind. Even once he was an adult and well past needing me as a master. The fact that he has a child surprises me as much as the fact that Goku has a child.”

“Was he right after all, about you being straight? I always thought that was the only reason he wasn’t with you, his erroneous belief that you prefer women.”

Piccolo laughed more and met Dende’s eyes as they started walking again. Piccolo had to hastily yank his hand back as it hungered to splay on the lovely curve of Dende’s bare lower back. Piccolo said,“Are _you_ straight? Since we were supposed to be here finding you a rebound for your tragically doomed love for Gohan.”

Dende chuckled and said, “I asked you first.”

“No, of course I’m not straight. You knew that, didn’t you?”

“Well…no…Gohan had me convinced that you were. When he kept daydreaming about you falling in love with him, the only obstacle he ever saw was your sexual orientation. Isn’t that just the most Son thing you’ve ever heard?” Dende giggled. “I guess I don’t know: if one is a hermaphrodite and attracted to hermaphrodites, I guess that’s gay? So yes. But for yourself, you mean it as preferring men, yes?”

“Well…” Piccolo felt rather penned in. Dende was the only hermaphrodite he knew, if he said he was also attracted to hermaphrodites, would that add ease or complication to their evening? Piccolo wished Vegeta could ride along like a little shoulder devil to tell him what the fuck to do. “I like dick, I guess. That’s my only requirement. I mean, as far as sex organs go. I have other standards, of course, or I could just buy a good vibrator and call it a day.”

Dende’s open-mouthed guffaw startled Piccolo so much that he actually hopped a little. “Oh my, is that what you said to Gohan when you went to see him? I hope so, and I hope you took a picture of his face.”

Piccolo chortled and said, “No, I made no mention of vibrators, though he was startled to find out that I was both gay and not a virgin and that I’d been in threesomes. He thought they were made up.”

“Of course he did,” Dende said, no longer cracking up, but his smile was huge. “How have you found dating on Earth? Has anyone caught your eye?”

“Vegeta and I used to spend time together, but it hasn’t been just the two of us since a couple years after the Boo incident, when he and Bulma finally got married. And when he had Bulla, it made me want…want my own life. My own partner. My own family.”

Dende’s mouth dropped open and he stammered, “Oh…oh…I…I did not realize when…when…when you mentioned that you two drank together that you also, um, did other things together—“

“You told me you knew what the word ‘fuck’ meant, Dende, but you’re blushing like maybe you don’t _really_ know,” Piccolo teased and helplessly brushed his knuckles down the exposed length of Dende’s arm as they stepped inside the restaurant Dende chose.

Dende turned violet, but his eyes narrowed. “Is…is that why you’ve been…absent…lately? Not because of Pan’s birth, but Bulla’s?”

“Yeah. I…I kept trying to find someone, but I’m not an Earthling either. I’m sure you know it can be lonely.”

“Yes, it can. I didn’t fully understand what I was signing up for, but I don’t regret anything.”

“I’m glad you came to Earth.”

Dende canted his head and scrutinized Piccolo as they kneeled at a low table and a server silently filled their water glasses and handed them menus. “Are you?”

“Very.”

“Interesting. What would you like to eat, Piccolo?”

“I would like you to order for me because I haven’t a fucking clue what’s good. Get everything you want, it’s on me for being such an _impossible_ ass last time,” Piccolo said, trying to imbue his full meaning in that one word, and laid the menu down. 

Dende’s mouth pursed into a little O like he had a question, but then thought better of it. He narrowed his eyes and stared at Piccolo. He said, “You…when you took me out…it was truly to help me get over _Gohan_? That is who you believed was impossible for me to be with?”

“Yes. He would be an impossibility, right? But no one else is, as I see it. You’re a catch, Dende. I’m sure you could have any man you want.” Dende’s eyes went wide above lavender cheeks and he applied himself to the menu with determined focus, but his blush didn’t diminish. Piccolo enjoyed being able to watch Dende as he scanned the menu, looking more and more delighted.

When the waiter began to flirt with Dende, or at least Piccolo assumed that was what was happening since he couldn’t follow their rapid-fire, slang-filled Namek, a dark, hot flame of jealousy flared in Piccolo’s belly, though he knew he had no right to it. Not yet. Stupid Nail and his formal speech, if Piccolo didn’t sound like a complete stodgy, old monk in Namek, he could have joined in their banter and disabused this uppity server of his illusions regarding Dende’s availability. The waiter kept casting nervous glances at Piccolo, but Dende explained his Namek wasn’t very good, one of the few phrases that Piccolo knew _very_ well. That opened the flood gates of the waiter being absolutely shameless in his flirtation.

By the time he left the table, Dende looked flushed and happy, and Piccolo felt like roaring and turning the entire restaurant into a fine layer of ash, including its inhabitants. “Don’t brood, Piccolo. I’ll think you’ll enjoy what I ordered.”

Piccolo looked into Dende’s eyes to see if he was toying with Piccolo or being serious. The little cad was teasing Piccolo. He _knew_ that Piccolo was jealous and he was _enjoying_ it. Piccolo fought the tug of his lips trying to smile. Dende’s sassy attitude made Piccolo’s insides rearrange themselves. Piccolo’s voice was rough as he said, “I’m sure I’ll like anything you picked. But maybe I’ll pick dessert later tonight.”

Dende flushed and smiled so broadly his fangs showed, which made Piccolo’s own smile grow wider. “Nameks rarely eat sweets, Piccolo, but I suppose if you can eat Namek food, I can see what my tourist friend has to offer as dessert. Maybe if you tell me what you’re looking for, I can find the right region of the city, one that caters to offworlders?”

Piccolo sat up straighter, giving Dende a little fake glare, and crossed his arms. This coy side of Dende surprised and delighted Piccolo. After a long moment he leaned forward and Dende mimicked him until their faces were close. Piccolo whispered, “I think I’ll be able to find dessert on my own. And as a true Namek, you can just lay back and watch while I eat it. Since you don’t like sweets.”

Piccolo’s shocked flush shot all the way to his antennae when Dende lowered his eyelids seductively and his voice became sultry as he replied, “I said we don’t like sweets…so perhaps I’ll just have to find something salty.”

Piccolo felt his jaw trying to drop. Laughter erupted out of him and Dende joined him, a little flush creeping up his chest. Their food arrived and Piccolo again marveled at how easy Dende was to be around. He was playful and teasing and intelligent and it floored Piccolo how much fun they were having. How long had he been overlooking this pleasure? This perfect man right under his nose? He almost wanted to shake Dende and ask why he hadn’t propositioned Piccolo, especially once Gohan was with Videl, if Gohan, of all absurd things, was truly the reason Dende had thought Piccolo untouchable.

Piccolo paid and held out his hand to help Dende up from the table. Dende stared, wide-eyed at the proffered hand, and Piccolo saw the poor man was trembling. Dende slid his own delicate hand into Piccolo’s giant, rough mitt and Piccolo helped him to his feet. He gazed up at Piccolo with fiery eyes, the gold outline shimmering in the warm light of New Namek’s sunset. Dende murmured, “Thank you for dinner, that was delicious.”

“No, thank you. It was. Sorry it took me so long to do this.”

“To do what?” Dende said, cocking his head to the side, his eyebrows forming a little peak.

Piccolo knew he should probably follow Vegeta’s advice. Vegeta was happily married to a wonderful woman, after all, but Piccolo couldn’t help himself. He wanted to tell Dende how he felt in some manner, if not completely bare his lovesick soul. Piccolo answered, “To take you out. To spend time with you. To see where you’re from. To really see you. To see the man you’ve grown into.”

Dende’s flush started on his neck and roared up his cheeks and he looked down quickly as a dumbfounded, open-mouthed smile split his face. “Ah. I…um…well…would you, um, would you like to go dancing again? Now that you’ve really seen me?” Dende turned his eyes back up and they were hungry, excited.

“That sounds perfect. Lead the way,” Piccolo said, and this time, he dared to let his hand slide onto Dende’s lower-back as they left the restaurant, and felt Dende’s pulse skyrocket under his touch, his breathing quickening and becoming uneven. Piccolo liked to imagine what he could make Dende’s body do if he was this excited by Piccolo’s hand on his back.

Dende cast a furtive glance over his shoulder at Piccolo and when Piccolo caught him, he grinned more and flushed, touching his fingertips to his mouth as he turned back to watch where he was walking. Piccolo didn't think he’d ever made someone so happy and it felt good. Piccolo hadn’t considered how nice it would feel for Piccolo to please Dende. That line of thought only made Piccolo want to groan as other methods of pleasing Dende flashed through his mind, which he _had_ thought about quite a lot over the previous month.

Dende took them to a club and ordered drinks for them that thankfully didn’t taste like battery acid. Piccolo paid, and after finding a little corner table, Piccolo tugged Dende out to the dance floor before they’d had more than a sip. Dende’s constant flabbergasted smile was delightful. Piccolo leaned down and whispered across Dende’s ear, his lips close enough that they brushed the silky flesh, “Do you have more moves to teach me?”

Dende laughed and covered his mouth with his hand before looking up as he slid his body against Piccolo’s and said, his eyes wide and vulnerable, “It may be that you have to teach _me_ moves tonight, Piccolo.”

“Oh?” Piccolo teased, then made his voice lower, rougher, throatier, “But you’re a way better dancer than I am. I think you might have to show me, Dende. You might have to put your hands on my hips and guide me.”

Piccolo thought Dende might faint. He actually shook a little against Piccolo’s body and his eyes fluttered shut at Piccolo’s words. When he recovered and looked up, his mischievous smile was back and he grabbed Piccolo’s hips, rolled his own up toward Piccolo’s and said, “Well, let’s see if we can’t find a rhythm together, hmmm?”

Before long, Piccolo was entranced again by Dende’s graceful body moving to the music. Piccolo only stopped to take off his suit jacket and leave it at their little table. Dende trailed after him, snatching his hand and Piccolo grinned helplessly. They downed their drinks. Piccolo briefly retrieved his hand to roll up his sleeves, letting his eyes take in Dende’s sweat-slick body. His shirt clung to his ab muscles in front where the sweat had soaked it already. His pants clung to his ass in an even more maddening fashion. Piccolo thought maybe Dende wasn’t wearing anything under those pants.

Sleeves adjusted and lewd thoughts swirling in his mind, Piccolo put his hands on either side of Dende’s waist as he followed Dende back out onto the dance floor, sliding both under the damp cloth of his shirt. He bent and whispered, “Too forward?”

Dende shook his head emphatically, rose up on his toes and twisted to brush his antennae across Piccolo’s: a brief, incendiary Namek-kiss. Piccolo almost crumpled with lust. It was just a peck, but a tantalizing one. Dende’s half-smile was delicious as they moved back into the throng, their bodies moving so well together that Piccolo was hard-pressed not to groan at the how the rest of the night might go. The anticipation made his loins throb.

They danced and danced. Piccolo was drenched in sweat. Dende spun in his arms and his nimble fingers unbuttoned Piccolo’s shirt, pushing it open and untucking it. He slid his hands up Piccolo’s abdomen after it was bare and muttered, “Sweet Lord of Lords,” so quietly that Piccolo felt certain he wasn’t meant to hear. Piccolo said nothing, but slipped his own hands back onto Dende’s bare back, splaying one so low that his fingertips pressed against Dende’s tailbone, encouraging his lithe little body to press more tightly against Piccolo, who exerted every ounce of his remaining willpower not to get hard. He hoped Dende would suggest they find a room soon.

Piccolo loved dancing with Dende so much that he decided it was his new mission to learn IT from Goku so he could bring them to Namek anytime. Piccolo needed this joy in his life, but he wanted it for Dende too. Dende looked so beautiful, and all the care that hung on his slender shoulders as Guardian seemed to lift here, so he could just be himself, just Dende, not the Kami-Sama. Piccolo loved giving him that respite.

When Dende’s hands slid up his torso again, slick as a waterslide with sweat, and his fingertips danced over Piccolo’s nipples, Piccolo grabbed his hands, and looked down into Dende’s eyes. Dende’s lips rolled in and his eyelids lowered before he murmured, “Whoops.”

“Whoops, my ass, you little tease,” Piccolo grinned and whispered, but it made Piccolo feel bold and he dared to brush his antennae over Dende’s again, making them both shiver. The lust and hunger shocked Piccolo, and Dende too, as he looked up, wide eyes flashing, and Piccolo said, “Want to go find a room?”

“I think it might be time for dessert,” Dende said, a coy little smile playing on his lips, and his hand trailed down the valley of Piccolo’s eight-pack and hooked in the waistband of his pants, tugging just a little. “And you? Are you hungry?”

“Gods, yes, very,” Piccolo growled and quickly gathered his jacket and led them out into the balmy night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may not update for a week or two (or longer). I'm having pretty major surgery next week and am not really sure how down and out I'll be, but I also have to adult a lot more the next few days in preparation for being laid up. But barring some exceptionally 2020-style bad luck, I will return to finish this fic and others! (and 2020 strikes again, I've told my partner to finish posting my stuff :P because unfinished fics make me so sad). This time for real, I got Twittered into posting this one XD <3


	5. Dessert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I make bad life choices, so instead of getting my s&%t in order for Friday surgery, I'm editing this chapter and posting it because I'm basically surviving 2020 via hot, alien sex. So...here's another chapter, don't know when the next will be. I hope you're all well! Thanks for comments and kudos! I'm enjoying my new rarepair :P

As they strolled back out into the night, less drunk than the last time, Piccolo said, “Not some crap boarding house tonight. Yapuural must have some nice hotels, right?”

Dende laughed and raised an eyebrow as he said, “It’s a bit of a hike to the only one I can think—“

Piccolo scooped Dende up and launched into the air. Dende could fly on his own, of course, but Piccolo wanted to touch Dende. He was faster, too, and he wanted to be in a room with Dende as soon as possible. Dende laughed harder and curled into Piccolo’s large body as he squeaked, “Cold! Cold! Cold! No, the other way, south, south, south! Maybe you should let me down so I can show you the way.”

“Mmm…no. I don’t think I will. If I get lost I’ll just have to carry you around a bit more. And if you get cold, I’ll warm you up.”

Dende buried his face in Piccolo’s neck and breathed in such a way that Piccolo knew Dende was smelling him. Piccolo felt suddenly self-conscious of how foul he must smell after so much sweating.

“Oh no, not at all, just…just like you, but stronger. More concentrated,” Dende murmured and ran his fingertips along Piccolo’s jawline.

“Dende, you shouldn’t poke around in my thoughts tonight,” Piccolo said, resisting the urge to brush his lips over Dende’s smooth skull and nibble on the tips of his ears.

“Just tonight?”

“Well…no. In general. But tonight it might shock you.”

“Oh? Why is that, Piccolo?” Dende said with feigned ignorance, blinking innocently, as though he had no idea what he’d been doing to Piccolo all night.

“I think you know, Dende.”

“No, I haven’t a clue what you’re thinking, aside from being concerned about how you smell,” Dende leaned back into his neck and Piccolo almost yelped and dropped him as he felt Dende’s teeth grip his neck, the wet heat of his tongue sliding over Piccolo’s sweat-sticky skin. “Maybe some concern for how you taste…” Dende whispered before he trailed his tongue up the length of Piccolo’s neck and nipped his jaw.

Piccolo’s heart thudded hard and dropped into his belly, which churned with excitement. Dende’s forwardness was like a fantasy turned into reality and Piccolo’s whole body thrummed with electricity. He couldn't wait to get into a room alone with his feisty little companion and see what other surprises Dende had hidden behind that guileless, innocent face.

Dende directed him and Piccolo tried not to pout that he didn’t kiss or suck on Piccolo any more. Piccolo could feel Dende shaking, though whether from cold or nerves, Piccolo didn’t know, so he boosted his chi enough to form a warm cocoon around them. He felt Dende smile against his neck. Dende murmured, “You’re very sweet, you know.”

“That’s a shame, since you don’t like sweets.”

“I could probably develop a taste for it.”

“Are you sure you haven’t already?”

“We’ll see…” Dende said, and at last gave Piccolo another rough bite on his trap, this time breaking skin. It was Piccolo’s turn to shiver, and temperature had nothing to do with it.

Piccolo reluctantly set Dende down as he procured a suite for them, causing Dende’s eyebrows to shoot up and a little bemused smile to spread on his face. Piccolo decided to mentally reach out to Goku, hoping Dende wouldn’t unintentionally eavesdrop. _Goku, can you hear me?_

_Sure, Piccolo, but I was asleep. What?_

_Don’t pick us up tomorrow morning. The day after, okay?_

_Okay. Night, Piccolo_.

Dende had heard though and he gave Piccolo a feisty, close-lipped smile and raised an eyebrow.

Piccolo almost rubbed the back of his neck, but stopped himself as he said, “Um…I guess…I guess you heard me.”

“I never would have pegged you for an optimist, Piccolo,” Dende said and swaggered toward the elevator.

Once they were behind the closed doors, Piccolo loomed over Dende, who pressed back against the wall. “I think you’re being coy with me, Dende. I think you might be glad I told Goku to wait.”

“Oh? Is that what you were doing?”

“You little minx! Did you not…Damnit, Dende!”

Dende giggled and caressed Piccolo’s face. “I think I like driving you a bit mad, Piccolo.”

“You’re very good at it.”

“Well, turnabout, and all that.”

“When have I ever driven you mad?”

“Mmm…maybe my whole adult life.”

“Not really, though?”

“Really, you ridiculous, oblivious man. I can’t believe you thought I would pine after _Gohan,_ ” Dende said and gave Piccolo a playful shove.

“You guys were always holding hands!” Piccolo protested.

“Such a filthy mind on you!”

“Earthlings do that romantically!”

Dende slid his hands into Piccolo’s and laced their fingers together. “Do they? Of course it _can_ be romantic, just as hugging can, but that doesn’t mean it always is. Do you think I’m holding your hands as a friend?” The smaller man used Piccolo’s hands to pull their bodies together.

“You are my friend…but you’ve never held my hands before…”

“Hmm…perhaps because I thought your hands were unavailable, as friends or anything more.”

“Did you want to hold my hands?”

“Something like that,” Dende whispered, gazing up at Piccolo with open hunger.

The doors slid open and Piccolo pulled Dende out after him, moving quickly toward their room. Once they were inside, Dende said, “Are you going to lay me down and help me undress? I wore simpler footwear this time,” and he chuckled as he held out one foot, displaying slip on, simple leather flats. Even his feet were lovely.

Piccolo swung Dende up in the air, making him squeak, before settling him back on Piccolo’s hips. Dende wrapped his lithe legs around Piccolo’s waist. “I ought to carry you to the bed if I’m going to undress you. Though last time you took over and didn’t let me finish.”

“Well, last time you were impossible. And very drunk.”

“Sorry I’m so daft.”

“Mmm…you are. It’s true. How did you ever figure it out?”

“Vegeta.”

“Vegeta?”

“He said you’ve had a crush on me forever.”

“Isn’t he…won’t he be…will you…” Dende pushed off Piccolo’s hips and continued stuttering incoherently.

“No. He wants me to be happy. He wants you to be happy. He thought it was funny that I didn’t know. Gave me advice on how to un-fuck everything.”

“Oh? Is that what we’re doing tonight, then? I am unfamiliar with how that works, you might have to show me,” Dende said with a little coy smile.

Piccolo gently tossed Dende on the bed and took one of his legs in his hand, dragging his hand down it to slip his shoe off, doing the same on the other side, Dende’s sweat-crusted chest rising and falling faster and faster. He crawled above Dende on the bed and murmured, “I need a shower. I’m disgusting because of how much I sweat. Wait for me?”

Dende bit his lower lip, his eyes smoldering, and said, “No. I won’t.”

Piccolo frowned.

Dende curled up and said, “I’d rather join you,” and brushed his antennae against Piccolo’s again, a steamy, soapy fantasy shooting electrically into Piccolo’s mind. 

Now there was no subduing the hard-on that had been fighting to rise all night. Piccolo slid his hands under Dende again and picked him up, but this time he was done pretending he wanted anything less than every bit of Dende. He kissed him roughly, more savage than a first kiss probably should have been, but Piccolo had used up all his restraint. Dende met him zealously, his tongue slinking into Piccolo’s mouth the minute his lips parted. Piccolo panted against Dende’s delicious, eager mouth. He moved his hands from the back of Dende’s knees onto his ass and finally got to touch that perfect pair of cheeks. He squeezed with a growl and started walking them to the bathroom.

Dende’s hands slid up his chest, pinching Piccolo’s nipples hard, and broke the kiss to throw his head back, inviting Piccolo to his neck. Piccolo dragged his fangs along it, a fine line of blood springing up behind each fang, and he retraced his path with his tongue lapping at the blood. Dende trembled in his arms. Piccolo growled against his skin and moved back to kissing him, his own tongue insatiable now.

He absently turned on the water for the shower, setting Dende down only so he could get the smaller man’s clothes off _now_. Piccolo wanted to be patient, but he knew he could fix it later, so he ripped off the shirt and pants, shredding them both, leaving Dende naked. As Piccolo had suspected, there was nothing underneath the slacks.

Dende curled in on himself, but Piccolo stepped away from him and pushed Dende’s shoulders open as he growled, “Don’t do that, let me look at you. Gods, you’re fucking gorgeous, Dende,” and he slid his own shirt back off his shoulders. Dende looked even more uncomfortable after Piccolo dropped his own trousers, displaying his naked body for Dende, hoping to ease his embarrassment. Dende’s eyes crawled hungrily over him, but that only seemed to make Dende’s body shrink in on itself further. “Dende?”

“Huh? Oh, um…” Dende blushed furiously and actually moved his arms to cover himself.

Piccolo took his wrists and pinned them above Dende’s head against the wall. Piccolo sucked along his jaw, stooping lower to lick his collarbone, and he bit Dende’s pecs and down the line of his abdomen. “Why are you being shy with me?”

“It’s just…I’m rather…unimpressive. Especially compared to…to Vegeta. To you.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Dende, I don’t want Vegeta, I want you. All of you. Every inch of your perfect, lithe body. Stop cowering and let me have a proper look at you, since I’ve been fantasizing about it so long.”

Dende blushed and took a deep breath, then he squared his shoulders and put on a good show of the confidence that he had wielded the rest of the evening. Piccolo dropped to his knees in front of Dende and kissed the front of his hips, slid his hands back onto Dende’s ass, pulling his lower body against Piccolo, and letting his tongue slide everywhere but onto Dende’s balls or cock. Dende panted and held Piccolo’s skull, his hands shaky, his knees trembling like he might collapse.

Piccolo hoisted Dende back on his hips as he stood up and walked them into the shower. Dende’s nervousness was palpable and Piccolo sucked his ear for a long moment in the hot spray before he whispered, “Don’t be nervous, please? There’s no rush. We can take things slow.”

“I…um…I…It's just that…I’m…I’m…” Dende’s face looked so horrified that Piccolo wanted to ease his fears.

“A virgin?” Piccolo rasped, deliberately brushing his lips over Dende’s delightfully sensitive ears. Piccolo thought he could probably make Dende come just by tonguing his ear.

Dende gave Piccolo a nervous smile. “It’s pretty obvious, I suppose,” Dende said with a little laugh. “There’s probably a stronger term than virgin for someone like me, Piccolo. I’ve never…um…I’ve never even kissed someone. I’ve certainly never, ah, been naked in a shower with someone.”

“Well, you’re doing an excellent job of it,” Piccolo said, grinning and running his hands along Dende’s flanks. “As I said, there’s no rush. I’m just glad I don’t have to hide that I'm attracted to you anymore. Gods, Dende, I’m sorry I was such an idiot.”

“I…I should have been more forward. I truly thought you were in love with Gohan. That’s why I thought you were doing what you’ve been doing. I thought he must’ve broken things off after Pan’s birth. He told me one day right before she was born that having her meant he really had to settle down. To be focused. To become a true family man. I just assumed that meant he’d been cheating on Videl with you. Then when you were so desperately and obviously trying to find…companionship…I assumed it was because of that. When you offered to take me on a field trip, I was so excited. I thought you’d finally seen me. That maybe you had a flicker of interest. And then…oh, it was terrible, Piccolo. You broke my heart and you had no idea. You _were_ an idiot.”

Piccolo kissed him softly, held him close, and murmured, “I know. I’m sorry. But I want you, Dende. I have. I felt…guilty. Since I was your mentor, it seemed wrong. Vegeta insisted that I was being a complete moron.”

“Vegeta is much wiser than I realized,” Dende said and gave Piccolo another more heated kiss.

Piccolo kissed Dende more and lowered him to his feet, started soaping himself and then, more hesitantly, not sure what level of physical affection Dende was ready for, he slid his soapy hands onto Dende. Dende stood on his tiptoes and kissed Piccolo, taking some soap from him and running his hands over Piccolo’s big shoulders and back. When he reached Piccolo’s ass, his eyes darted to Piccolo’s and he tentatively groped Piccolo’s cheeks. Piccolo slid his hands on top Dende’s hands and made him squeeze harder. “You don’t need to be gentle, Dende. I’ll tell you if something isn’t what I want. And you’ll do the same? Or tell me if there is something you _do_ want?”

Dende nodded, his eyes still wide and nervous. Piccolo continued his hands gentle soapy journey, dropping to his knees again to soap Dende’s legs all the way up to the apex of his thighs, but avoiding his cock and balls, his _theadur_ , and his ass. Dende gasped as Piccolo’s hands came close to all his most sensitive parts. Piccolo stood again to wash Dende’s chest and belly. Piccolo bent and after swirling his tongue in Dende’s ear until he was a mewling, whimpering liquid, Piccolo whispered, “Can I touch you?”

“Please, Piccolo, please,” he rasped, clinging to Piccolo’s shoulders in such a way that Piccolo thought he might fall if he let go.

Piccolo liked that he would get to show Dende every form of pleasure Piccolo could imagine, but he knew how he wanted to start, even if it sent Dende over the edge immediately, which it might if it was his first time doing anything with a partner.

Piccolo kissed Dende’s mouth deeply, exploring with his tongue, pulling at Dende’s supple lips with his own before kissing down over his chin and neck onto his pecs. Piccolo dropped to his knees and dragged his tongue along the soft cleft in Dende’s ab muscles until he reached the straining tip of Dende’s erection. He glanced up to see Dende’s eyes were heavy-lidded and hungry, but also disbelieving, like he was fairly certain Piccolo was an apparition. Piccolo watched his lover’s face as he took Dende’s head in his mouth for the first time, lapping at his slit and tasting pre-cum as a high noise of pleasure wheezed out of Dende and he leaned heavily against the shower wall. He groaned, “Oh, Piccolo,” already panting and Piccolo only had his tip. 

Piccolo had never been so excited to suck someone off in his life. But he wanted it to be incredible for Dende and he knew if he was too enthusiastic, it would end too quickly, so he pulled his mouth off Dende. Dende whimpered in protest, until Piccolo started sucking on the underside of Dende’s lovely cock, down onto his balls, swirling each one in Piccolo’s mouth until Dende was pleading for him by name. Piccolo loved the breathy sound of his name on Dende’s lips.

He licked and kissed his way back to Dende’s slit, taking Dende’s cock in his hand so he could tease the pre-cum out of Dende for a moment. Dende’s hips rolled desperately toward him. Piccolo wanted Dende to beg for his mouth. He wanted Dende to need him. Dende growled, “Put me in your mouth again, please, oh please, Piccolo…”

Piccolo did, this time taking Dende’s whole length in his mouth, but at a torturously slow pace. Dende bucked hard toward him, but Piccolo deftly controlled exactly how far in his mouth Dende got to be. Piccolo pulled off again and kissed Dende’s tip, earning a little frustrated growl. He smirked up at Dende and Dende said, panting, “Who’s the tease now, Piccolo?”

“Mmm…I rather like teasing you, Dende, and I love the taste of your beautiful cock,” Piccolo murmured and took Dende's dick deep into Piccolo’s throat. He gave Dende what he didn’t know he’d been missing and slid up and down the the full length of his shaft each time, pulling and gripping Dende’s tip with his skilled throat muscles, his gag reflex almost gone from giving blowjobs to a hyper-aggressive Saiyan. 

Dende groaned and started to sag, so Piccolo held him up by his ass. Dende begged incoherently in Namekian, holding Piccolo’s head, and his hips twitched sporadically toward Piccolo, unable to decide whether the sensation was so strong he needed to pull away, or not strong enough. Dende stuttered, “I…Piccolo…Oh…Oh…Oh!” as he came hard in Piccolo’s mouth, his whole body tensing and spasming before going boneless and crumpling over Piccolo’s head as he finished sucking Dende off. Piccolo gently lowered his hyperventilating Namek lover onto his lap.

Piccolo ran his hands up and down Dende’s back for a long moment, letting Dende absorb all the sensation and come down a bit from his first orgasm with another person. He kissed Dende’s temple. 

Dende shuddered and pushed himself upright enough to give Piccolo a sloppy, contented kiss, his eyes hazy and happy, his smile dazed. He said,  “I…when you said earlier that you would get your own dessert, I didn’t realize how literal you were being. I…I didn’t know you’d want this…with me.”

“I want _everything_ with you, Dende. Is that the first time you’ve come with someone?”

Dende’s purple cheeks told Piccolo the answer, but Dende’s answer surprised him. “It’s only ever happened in my sleep.”

“What? You mean…you’ve never masturbated?” Piccolo asked.  Dende shook his head and turned away from Piccolo. Piccolo touched Dende’s chin and brought him back to face Piccolo. “I want to watch you, when you do, once you’re comfortable.”

Dende’s breathing had almost calmed from the blow job, but that put him back to hyperventilating.

“But then, um, wouldn’t…do…Oh Lord of Lords, I’m so embarrassed—“

“Remember you're with a man who ordered _giyaka_. A man who took years to figure out that you wanted him. You don’t ever need to be embarrassed with me, Dende. Your life has been very unusual. I’m not surprised that you haven’t had opportunities to experience the things you might’ve if your childhood and adolescence had been different. My life was pretty unusual too, I think that's how Vegeta and I wound up being friends, since we both grew up isolated from our people and figuring everything out on our own. What do you want to ask?”

“Well...do people who have partners still…still do that? Still masturbate?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. Masturbating is…it’s like a separate part of a person’s sexuality. Even when Vegeta and I were on a sex-bender, I still masturbated. I like it in a different way than I like sex. But I also liked watching him touch himself. He liked watching me. I haven’t been in any other real relationships, but I’ve had a few other partners where we were together for a bit and we all did that once or twice at least. Some people are weird about it, but I think it’s important. You can do it on your own before you do it for me, but know that it would turn me on, that I’d enjoy watching you pleasure yourself. And it helps me be a better lover to you. Okay? I mean it, I want to do everything with you. I want you to enjoy your body. Enjoy my body. Enjoy what our bodies can do together.”

“I’m nervous, Piccolo, I…I thought I’d be fine because I’ve been imagining things in...detail...for so long, but I don’t have a clue what I’m doing and you’re obviously very experienced…It’s…it’s intimidating,” Dende hid his face in Piccolo’s shoulder.

Piccolo pulled him back out, kissed him again. “Hey. Dende. Look at me. Don't be worried. This is wonderful. Really. I don't care that you're inexperienced.” Dende looked almost teary.

Dende said, “I’ve wanted this for so long and now that I’m getting it, I’m a mess,” and he covered his face with his hands.

“No, you’re not. What _do_ you want? What did you imagine?” Piccolo asked, gently pulling his hands away and wrapping them around Piccolo’s neck so they stayed close together.

“I…I guess…I just thought we’d have sex. I didn’t put much thought into what else might happen, I mainly fantasized about finally...finally losing my virginity to you. Other things too...like what we just did. But when we were headed up to the room with you so close, I realized that sex is a little scary to, um, contemplate, you…you’re very big…and I…well…I just…I don’t know. I’m not sure _how_ someone as small as me can take someone like you?” Dende’s eyes went wide and he stammered, “Not...um...I mean, anal, of course. Not _theadur_.”

Piccolo didn’t know what to make of Dende’s hasty clarification and his fantasy. Maybe Vegeta was wrong about Dende wanting to _be_ with Piccolo. Maybe he just wanted to lose his virginity to Piccolo. Piccolo had certainly encountered plenty of that amongst humans who wanted to lose their virginity to the Demon King. He hoped that wasn’t the case with Dende, but he didn’t really want to know yet. He wanted to pretend a bit longer.

Piccolo kissed Dende and said, “You can’t take me right now, Dende, I would rip you in half. And I have no intention of fucking you until you’re good and ready. There are so many things to do between here and there, and I’m in no hurry. Even if we’d just laid around tonight Namek-kissing, that would have been wonderful. I’m really, really happy that I just got to suck you off, and I want to do all manner of other fun things to your body, but I can go as slow or as fast as you want me to go. Just try to keep an open mind, you never know what you might like, what might turn you on.”

“But…I…well, when you were doing that, with your mouth, I…I wanted it so badly,” Dende said, but paused and thought before he said, “Not your mouth. I mean, yes, very much your mouth, because that was unexpected and incredible, but I wanted you inside me...but I don’t even know how it’s physically possible. It was like an ache, like this emptiness that only you can fill. But…Um, well, you’re rather well-endowed.”

“Dende, you know that I can finger your ass, right? And there are toys. And my tongue. And I can even just rub my cock on your opening, some people really get off on that. But if you want me inside you, we’ll start with my fingers. I’ll stretch you each time, and before long, you’ll see, your sweet little ass will just gobble up my prick.” Dende turned a shade of purple Piccolo had never seen. Piccolo kissed his cheeks and laughed. “Mmm…It’s going to be so fun to see what our bodies can do together, Dende.”

“I knew about those things, but...will those things…I mean, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“I want you to feel pleasure as well, Piccolo. And I want to be the one to give it to you, but I’ll be terrible at it. If you're just fingering my ass, how you will…it’s not like if you, you know, if you were _really_ inside me.”

Piccolo kissed Dende more and whispered, “Doing anything with you brings me pleasure—“

“Nonsense,” Dende huffed and finally said in a fast splutter, “I mean I would like to make you come, Piccolo!”

“I’d like that too,” Piccolo said, grinning.

“But…well…um…how? Until my…ass…can gobble up your prick,” Dende said with a sassy little smile.

Piccolo took Dende’s small hand and wrapped it around his hard-on, started showing Dende how to move it. “I can show you a little, but you’ll figure it out. Sex is about empathy and paying attention to your partner’s signals. I have no doubt that if I leave you to your own devices stroking my dick, you will get me off in no time. Or I can help you. Whichever you prefer. And of course you can fuck me too, if you’d like, and we can do that whenever. But don’t worry about me. I promise I will enjoy anything we do, as long as I get to be with you. There’s lots of ways you can get me off without your ass having to gobble anything,” Piccolo said, making both of them laugh, and he kissed Dende thoroughly until Dende looked dazed and sloppy with lust.

“I...You’d let me, ah...fuck...you?” Dende said, his eyes widening.

“I want you to fuck me, Dende, if you’re okay with that. I’m usually a top, but, I don’t know...When it’s...special...I like switching. Vegeta and I always switched. But only if it’s something you want.”

“Oh, I...I guess I’d never considered that. For now...can I…can I try with my mouth?”

Piccolo raised an eyebrow and kissed Dende more before he said, “Yeah, I will never say no to getting head.”

“Um…any…any advice?” Dende said, laughing a little, but looking at Piccolo’s dick so hungrily that Piccolo got even harder.

“Do what you think would feel good on your own. And don’t bite. Biting is fun almost everywhere, but not dicks.”

“No, I imagine not,” Dende said and kissed Piccolo more, kissed him and kissed him until he was on his back in the steam, the water cascading down over Dende in little torrents, droplets forming on the end of his antennae.

“Gods, Dende, I would never know you hadn’t kissed a million men. Your kisses are intoxicating,” Piccolo groaned as Dende pulled away to suck down Piccolo’s body, his delicate hands trailing over every inch of Piccolo’s skin, brushing over his balls, using his palm to slick Piccolo’s pre-cum around his head before sliding his hand sensually up and down Piccolo’s length. He bent his head and his soft lips kissed Piccolo’s tip. Piccolo's words seemed to give Dende confidence and he took more of Piccolo’s length than Piccolo would’ve thought possible. Piccolo moaned and his ass tightened, shocked at how hungry for this very thing he was. In all his fantasizing about Dende, he’d mostly imagined all the things he would like to do _to_ Dende, not things that Dende would do to him.

Dende’s tongue experimented with what it could accomplish in what little space remained in his mouth with Piccolo’s dick, and Piccolo found himself gasping and pleading in no time. But he wasn’t ready to come, so he curled up, took Dende’s narrow hips in his hands and spun him around on Piccolo’s cock so he straddled Piccolo’s face. Dende pulled off and started to speak when Piccolo’s mouth wrapped around him again and his chest collapsed onto Piccolo for a moment as he let out a gasp of pleasure.

Once Dende calmed some and was back to doing a very fine first time job of sucking Piccolo off, Piccolo concentrated on his fingertips until lube dripped from them and he slid his hand up onto Dende’s hip and onto his ass, his fingertips trailing along the cleft. He pulled off to murmur, “Can I touch you? I won’t put anything—“

“Yes, Piccolo, yes, and you can put whatever you can fit inside me. Please,” Dende gasped, cutting Piccolo off, and his pert ass bucked against Piccolo’s hand.

Piccolo’s arousal went through the roof and he dragged his fingers into Dende’s crack, letting his fingertips feel each ridge of Dende’s pucker, massaging him, and enjoying the tight heat as Dende took Piccolo still deeper in his mouth. Piccolo felt Dende's opening relax and he dipped a finger inside his sexy Namek, and Dende groaned low and long on Piccolo’s cock. Piccolo pulled off to whisper, “Fuck, Dende, I’m about to come, you can pull off if you don’t want it in your mouth…”

Dende didn’t pull off, he only sucked harder and Piccolo’s body shuddered as the orgasm that had been lurking inside him, waiting for Dende, crackled forth and singed every nerve before bursting out of him with such unearthly pleasure that Piccolo considered dying right then because didn’t think anything was ever going to top having his sweet Namek lover suck his prick for the first time. Dende swallowed somewhat awkwardly and lapped at Piccolo a bit before he pulled off and arched his ass back toward Piccolo as he cried, “I need you inside me, Piccolo, please, no more teasing!”

Piccolo grinned and pushed his middle finger slowly inside Dende, reaching for his pleasure. Dende cried his name and moved so hungrily toward Piccolo’s hand that Piccolo was already getting hard again. Dende’s prick poured pre-cum as Piccolo found his prostate. Dende shouted, “Oh! Oh, Piccolo! What—what is—oh…oh my…” and Dende bit down hard on Piccolo’s thigh, which Piccolo fucking loved. He wanted Dende to bite him more. He also loved that Dende was obviously trying, even in the throes of ecstasy, not to swear unnecessarily.

“You can let that dirty little mouth of yours go, Dende. You can say anything and I’ll love it. You can bite me more too…scratch me,” Piccolo purred and then went back to sucking Dende’s delightful prick.

Dende gasped and whimpered and arched back toward Piccolo, dragging his claws hard down the outside of Piccolo’s thighs before gripping his ass and really digging in, making Piccolo moan. He couldn’t wait to feel Dende’s claws digging into his ass while he thrust his dick inside the tight heat of his adorable lover. Dende finally broke down and said, “Piccolo, what the _fuck_ is happening to me?”

“Just let it happen, beautiful, let me take you there, let it come,” Piccolo pulled off to whisper.

Much like when Piccolo had given Dende his first head, this pleasure, his first prostate orgasm, seemed to overwhelm Dende so much he didn’t know what to do, and he surged back toward Piccolo whimpering and alternately begging Piccolo to speed up and slow down until he cried out, “Ah! Ah! Piccolo! It’s…Oh my fucking gods! Fucking gods! Piccolo! Oh gods, yes! _Yes!_ ” and semen exploded in Piccolo’s mouth over and over as he milked Dende’s prostate until Dende sounded close to weeping.

Piccolo pulled off Dende’s cock gently and eased his finger out of his still clenching ass. He picked Dende’s drooping body up and stood, helped him clean up, as he seemed exhausted and stunned, if deliriously happy. He kept looking up at Piccolo with sex-stoned, but sparkling, eyes, and grinning, before blushing furiously and hiding his face in Piccolo’s chest. It was adorable. And perfect.


	6. Peluwsa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I did lots of adulting, so I'm rewarding myself with getting to edit/post a chapter. Apologies if there's typos, I have a headache and am not allowed to take NSAIDs, boo, so I'm posting without a good proofread. Unless I'm crazy efficient tomorrow, Dende and Piccolo will return to their shenanigans in a couple weeks.

Piccolo carried Dende on his hips to the bed, but he thought Dende was probably done for the night. He crawled both of them onto the bed and got them situated under the covers, tucking Dende half on his chest in his armpit. Dende hummed happily and said, “What _was_ that?”

“A prostate orgasm.”

“Oh. Goodness. I had no idea there was such a thing. And…already…the other kind, the, um, regular orgasm, was quite a different animal than when I’ve come in my sleep. I guess leaving Namek so young I didn’t really know what was normal and when I started to feel that way, about you, and have those thoughts, I was ashamed of myself, so I never…I never let myself do anything about it, though I thought about it often enough. But I thought as Guardian, as a god, that I should be above all that carnal nonsense. That it was all well and good if I had a partner, but that to do so myself was…deviant. Unwholesome. It didn’t help that my only close friend besides you is a bit naive, and what little we talked about was...pretty basic. Even when he had a crush on you, I don’t think he understood how two men love each other physically. He seemed to think you two would just kiss.”

“If he didn’t have a kid, I’d still think that was all he knew of physical love,” Piccolo said with a little chuff of laughter, before he continued more seriously, “I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could talk to me.” Piccolo ran his hand up and down along Dende’s flank. He wanted to be sleepy, but all he could think about was touching Dende more, bringing him more pleasure, and taking his own from that lithe green body that was so responsive to his every touch.

“Well, probably if all my nighttime attacks didn’t involve you in one way or another I might have, but then I thought you were in love with Gohan, and he in love with you, or that you were straight, so I gave up on ever having that with you. I didn't want it with anyone else, so I just tried to make the whole thing go away. All of it. But it has a way of sneaking through the cracks,” Dende said and burrowed into Piccolo as he giggled, “Especially after we went dancing. I’ve been a mess more mornings than not since then. I wanted you so badly that night. But I was too drunk to even attempt a seduction.”

Piccolo murmured, “Oh, you did seduce me, I just didn’t want to take advantage of you since you were so drunk. Plus I still thought you were grieving over Gohan. I didn’t do all the things I wanted to do to you, but I thought about you constantly. I think I didn’t look at you as a prospect because I always assumed you and Gohan would mate. You’re so sexy, Dende, and I’m glad you made me acknowledge it.” He curled up to brush his antennae over Dende’s. When Dende leaned into it, Piccolo let them touch for longer than they had yet. 

The rush of Dende’s feelings for him was intoxicating: the unfiltered lust and hunger and passion, but also the deep, quiet love. It had been burgeoning in Dende since he’d gone through puberty and started to realize he didn’t admire Piccolo as a mentor or want to be like him, as Gohan did, but that he _wanted_ him. Wanted every aspect of him. Dende’s crushing sadness when Piccolo continued to ignore him as a sexual prospect swirled into Piccolo’s mind, along with the fiery jealousy Dende felt toward his best friend, and how relieved Dende had been by Gohan’s marriage, only to have it lead to nothing, no change. The rest of the ups and downs came in a wild flurry of confusion and painful need as Piccolo continued being an oblivious moron.

The sweetest aspect of the longer Namek-kiss was just _knowing_ Dende more, feeling more connected and a part of him as they kept running their antennae over one another’s. Piccolo gasped and panted, the sensation overwhelming and so intense that he feared he would blow his load all over the sheets. Piccolo felt Dende’s own hunger climb precipitously and Dende surprised him by gently probing his fingers into Piccolo’s mouth. Piccolo sucked them eagerly, suggestively, but then they were gone and Piccolo felt Dende’s wet grip on his achingly hard prick.

“Gods, Dende…” he growled, rubbing his antennae more sensually along the entire length of Dende’s until his lover writhed beside him, dry-humping his thigh.

Dende pleaded, “Piccolo…I…”

Piccolo was not quite as bold as Dende with his fingers, so he started to move his hand down, but before he reached Dende’s throbbing erection, Dende rasped, “In my mouth, please…” so Piccolo slipped his fingers in Dende’s mouth. Piccolo could have created lube again, but this was so hot he was grateful Dende had asked. Dende’s tongue tried new maneuvers and danced along Piccolo’s knuckles. Dende sucked hard. When he finally let Piccolo’s fingers pull free of his mouth, he dragged his fangs along the skin hard enough to draw blood and Piccolo’s pleased hiss. Dende whispered, “Inside me, not my…my dick. Inside me, please, I want it while we _peluwsaterna…_ Piccolo, I need it…try…try two…”

Piccolo had been so certain that Dende was done for the evening that this development was even more exciting. He loved how hungry for him Dende was, how eager, and how sweet his requests were. Piccolo’s aching desire to have Dende entirely expanded in his mind and Dende giggled and murmured, “Oh my, you do want to ravish me, don’t you?”

“You have no idea,” Piccolo growled, brushing his antennae suggestively over Dende’s.

Dende chuckled more and spread his legs. He had his own antennae antics that were making Piccolo into a lust-addled mess… _where had Dende learned to do that?_ Piccolo wondered. Dende gasped, “Oh, I think I have some idea. And I didn’t learn it anywhere…I just…I’ve just wanted to do this with you for so long, Piccolo. I’ve dreamt about it.”

Piccolo shifted so that he was above Dende, who continued the twisting, devastating thing he was doing with his antennae while Piccolo kissed his lips as well. His tongue plundered Dende’s mouth and Dende wiggled until he could splay his legs on either side of Piccolo’s hips. The soft moans of pleasure that Dende made just from stroking Piccolo were driving him absolutely mad. Piccolo could barely think and as his fingertips played lightly over Dende’s bud, Piccolo murmured, “Dende, I think your imagination might have more experience than I do…you’re going to make me come just with your antennae…”

Dende breathed, “The more I told myself that I couldn’t…couldn’t touch myself…the more my thoughts turned to this...to what I would do with you if I ever got to properly _peluwsaterna_ with you. Please, Piccolo, I need you…” Dende pulled his legs up alongside his torso.

“Gods, I’m never going to be able to think straight again, beautiful,” Piccolo groaned as he gently pushed two fingers inside Dende, twisting them a little, stretching him, eager to get Dende on his dick soon.

“Piccolo…is it…is it possible?”

“Hmmm? What?” Piccolo said, well and truly dazzled by Dende’s sexual surprises.

“For you to…to…to fuck me?”

Piccolo came out of his daze a bit and looked into Dende’s eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you, Dende, and I’d hurt you.”

“What if I don’t care?”

“What?!” Piccolo said, a little titillated and a lot surprised.

“I’ve wanted you so long, please, now that I’ve had a taste…I…I…I don’t want to miss my chance.”

Piccolo froze, two fingers deep in Dende, snapped entirely out of his lust-haze. He pulled his antennae away from Dende’s saucy tricks and said, “Wait…are you…is this…is this just a one-nighter for you?”

Dende searched Piccolo’s eyes. His eyebrows were in a confused peak. He said, “Well…I…I assumed since you brought me here, and didn't want Goku to come get us for two days, that it would be at least a couple nights. But aren’t you…aren’t you ashamed to be with me? I took it to mean that once we were back on Earth things would go back to the way they were.”

Piccolo lurched back onto his haunches, sliding his fingers out of Dende and making the smaller man shudder. “What the fuck?! I’m not _ashamed_ of you! That, what, why would you even think that? I don’t _want_ things to go back to the way they were! I want this! I want _you_!” Piccolo breathed hard, panic roaring through him. He was in love with Dende and the thought of losing this after a mere two nights broke his heart. It shocked him after experiencing the depth of Dende’s feelings for him. Piccolo’s throat tightened, he didn't understand.

“But…Piccolo, I’m sorry, I misunderstood your mind, I think,” Dende said. Piccolo couldn’t believe he’d so grievously misread the situation. It had crossed his mind, of course, that Dende only wanted Piccolo to rid him of his virginity, but...after a deeper Namek-kiss, Piccolo had been sure their feelings were mutually loving.

Piccolo’s chest heaved as he tried to cope with his disappointment. He really didn’t want to _cry_ in front of Dende, but he felt like he might. “So you just want a fucking _fling_?” Piccolo practically screeched and hated himself as tears sprang into his eyes and he backed out of the bed, made clothing appear on himself.

Dende sat up quickly, obviously embarrassed by his wanton prostration. He pulled the sheet over himself. “No! What? Piccolo, please, stop, wait, can you just talk to me for a moment? We wouldn’t…well, we could have done this months ago if we’d both been a little more explicit in our discussions! I don’t want to be talking past one another again. Please, sit down!” Now Dende looked very upset and Piccolo realized he was fucking everything up _again._ Why did he keep trying to do these things when he was so fucking bad at it? He sat warily on the edge of the bed and Dende draped on his shoulder, though Piccolo remained stiff and upset, keeping his antennae well away from Dende’s spell-casting.

“Piccolo, please look at me,” Dende whispered, his voice choked. Piccolo obliged. “Of course I don’t want a fling. Your mind though…all around me there is so much guilt and shame, so I assumed you only wanted me physically, perhaps as a rebound from Vegeta. Am I wrong? Can you…can you explain it to me? All that shame?”

Piccolo’s chest constricted to hear Dende think that Piccolo would do that to him. “Oh, Dende, no, you’re not a rebound. But you’re so young and I…I was your mentor. And…and…a virgin. I feel…like you _deserve_ someone better than me. You…I just…I want you to have the best…but I also really, really, _really_ want you to have... _me_. I want you to want me, because I want _you._ For as long as you’ll have me. But if you don’t want me at all except to unburden you of your virginity…I don’t think…I don’t think I can do a fling with you, Dende, I feel too…um…too…” Piccolo swallowed hard, but he was sure he had felt the same in Dende’s mind, so he hoped honesty could do no harm. “Too in love. I’m too in love with you to survive that, I think. I don’t know how you survived years of unrequited love. It’s awful.”

An excited, shocked smile spread on Dende’s face, his lip twitching up more on one side as he stammered, “But then…oh…goodness…you, um. Oh…so, but…but why, why did you bring me _here_ if you aren’t ashamed?”

“Well, originally because humans are lame. I was trying to find someone worthy of you, or who you could at least have a good time with, but this time…well, last time I loved seeing you leave your Guardian cares behind. I like seeing you amongst your own people, so at ease. And the way you move to Namek music…Gods, Dende, I’m sure if I hadn’t been jacking off constantly while thinking of you dancing, then I would have been having wet dreams too. I had so much fun dancing with you that I wanted it again, maybe seduce you afterwards. Dancing to Namek music with you is a drug: it makes me feel _amazing_ and it’s a crazy aphrodisiac, not that I needed one, but…since I’d fucked it up so badly last time, I just…I just wanted a do-over.” Piccolo laughed and felt himself flush and then added, “Plus Vegeta told me this is what I should do, and loath though I am to admit it, he’s got a pretty good mind for this type of thing. He thought it was hilarious that I didn’t know you liked me. He’s known all along. Nothing gets by him.”

“No, I don’t think it does. Vegeta feels like he has eyes that see _everything_. It’s unnerving at times. I can’t believe you two slept together. I mean, I can, but it’s still a surprise. And to think I thought you’d be with Gohan. How amusing both our foolish assumptions were. Piccolo…” Dende said, his voice suddenly going low and throaty as he leaned forward. He nipped at Piccolo’s lips, bit him a little before kissing him possessively. He hummed happily and kissed Piccolo more as Piccolo relented and kissed back. 

Dende’s mouth thawed the horrible, freezing terror of Dende only wanting Piccolo for a single night. Dende climbed into his lap where he sat on the edge of the bed. He whispered, “I would very much like to take your clothes off, Piccolo.”

Piccolo grinned and made them disappear. Dende threw his head back and laughed. This time Piccolo could finally give in to his desire and bite that slender neck, suck on it hard enough to leave a mark, lick up and down its beautiful length. “Piccolo…” Dende breathed, “Do you know what you do to me?”

“Tell me, Dende…” Piccolo rasped against Dende’s delicious skin.

“You make me want to do everything to your body, to never stop, to leave the world behind and stay here making love until we die of starvation…I want to put every possible bit of you inside me and ride it until you beg me to stop. I want to kiss you until we drown. And I’ve wanted it so long…”

“Fuck…Dende…” Piccolo growled and gripped Dende’s lean hips, digging his claws in more as Dende’s mouth fell open with pleasure. “I want to pleasure you until you pass out, to taste you, to touch you, inside and out, to show you everything that I should have been giving you for years.” Dende lunged back to his mouth and now on top of kissing, Dende’s antennae were back working their magic and Piccolo was a mess, bucking up helplessly into nothing.

Dende whispered, “Can we try something? Will you indulge me? Not laugh?”

“I’ll try _anything_ with you, Dende. Anything. Tell me.”

“Can I show you?”

“Gods, yeah, how are you making me such a wreck with just your antennae? I might actually drop dead when I finally get to fuck you, Dende.”

Dende pushed an image into Piccolo’s mind, a fantasy, and Piccolo groaned. Dende’s eyelids fluttered and he bit his lower lip as he pulled back and said, “I…I thought I might be too tight to take you right away, so I used to think about this when I was falling asleep and it would make me so hard, Piccolo. Can we try it?”

“Only if you’ll let me do something else first. But I promise you’ll like it, and it will lead to this. To all of this,” Piccolo said and picked Dende up, laid him on his belly. He whispered, “I’ll let you squeeze your sexy thighs together in a minute, but for now, spread as wide as you can, okay?”

Dende glanced over his shoulder and nodded jerkily, pulling his knees up and wide. Piccolo palmed Dende’s ass, opening him even wider to really see Dende’s bud. Dende tried to watch him and his eyes were scared. Piccolo held his gaze as he lowered his head and growled, “Your asshole looks too sweet for real Nameks, but just right for me, Dende, so I better have a taste.”

Dende’s body shook and he stuttered, “I…but, Piccolo, um, well—ah! Ah! Oh, f…Ah!” but trailed off into low, growling groans of pleasure as Piccolo’s tongue swirled around his entrance, finding its center and pulsing with light pressure until Dende was almost twerking he was trying so hard to meet all of the stimulation Piccolo was giving him. Piccolo slid his hand between Dende’s legs and under his belly, lifting him just enough to get a hand on his prick. Dende wailed and Piccolo’s hand squeezed mercilessly up and down Dende’s shaft as he finally plunged his tongue inside Dende, eliciting every swear word Piccolo knew in Namekian and several he didn’t as Dende finally clenched hard on him, his hips rolling forward to thrust into Piccolo’s hand. Piccolo groaned and gasped as Dende’s tight entrance gripped and seized on his tongue. Piccolo’s tongue relentlessly fucked Dende’s ass until his orgasm subsided.

“Mmm…did you like that, beautiful?” Piccolo whispered against Dende’s firm, round buttock, kissing over both cheeks. Dende nodded weakly into the sheets. Piccolo drew his legs back down and tight together. “You still want to do what you showed me or did I wear you out?”

“I want you all night, Piccolo. All day. Sleep can wait, can’t it?” Dende said, his chest still heaving with the exertion of his orgasm.

“Gods, yes, who could sleep with this available and hungry?” Piccolo asked, groping Dende’s ass more. Dende’s opening was soaked with saliva from Piccolo rimming him. Piccolo took his own prick in his hand and started running it along Dende’s cleft, not pushing between the cheeks yet, but just a light touch, a glistening trail of pre-cum marking where he’d been. He massaged Dende’s taut butt and gradually pushed his cock between the big muscles and pressed it against Dende’s pucker.

Dende groaned, “Piccolo…oh gods, I can’t wait to have you inside me…”

“Your ass is perfect, beautiful, coming on my tongue like that. I love making you come, Dende. I fucking love it. I love driving you wild.”

Dende trembled beneath him and rasped, “I can feel you dripping on me Piccolo, making me slick,” Dende glanced over his shoulder and Piccolo saw that he was checking whether Piccolo liked it when he talked a little dirty, “Your dick is so hard, Piccolo, and it’s touching me just right. I’m still twitching from…from what you did.”

“I rimmed you. I ate your ass. And it was amazing. I can’t wait to do it again and slide right inside you while you’re still clenching, Dende. I’m going to fuck you so sweet once you’re stretched for me. It’s going to be amazing.”

“Can you give me a taste? Can you press harder?” Dende growled and looked over his shoulder again.

Piccolo said nothing, only pressed firmly, but gently on Dende’s entrance. Piccolo felt Dende relax, practically open for him completely, and it was very, _very_ tempting to try to push inside him and start gently thrusting until he reached Dende’s sweet spot, and then he knew he’d be able to thrust hard and deep, make his lithe little lover scream and beg and writhe on his dick. But Piccolo held himself back and just pushed against that soft temptation. Dende’s opening seemed to hunger for him with the way it twitched against him.

He moved his cock up and down over the tight heat of Dende’s pucker, Dende squirming more and more beneath him. Dende murmured, “Gods, Piccolo, are you…are you sure you’d hurt me?”

“I know it feels so good, I’m tempted to try, but yeah, it would hurt you. Let me do what you asked, see if that feels good, yeah?”

“Yes, oh gods, although I love feeling you against me if I can’t have you inside me. Piccolo I didn’t know I could be even hungrier than I was before you noticed me, but I am…I’m starving for you.”

“I can give you a taste while I do this, beautiful,” Piccolo mounted Dende, made lube to soak his prick, and slowly slid in the tight space between Dende’s thighs. Dende flexed, making it even more snug on Piccolo’s cock. 

Dende gasped and whimpered, “Oh…Piccolo…I…uuuuh…” Dende bucked back toward him as Piccolo massaged Dende’s bud with his thumb while he started to fuck Dende’s thigh gap. He knew that what they were doing was pretty scandalous for two Nameks because although he hadn’t yet, his dick would touch the exterior of Dende’s _theadur_. Piccolo wasn’t sure if Dende had considered that though.

Piccolo curled over Dende and kissed along his neck, sucked his earlobe, and whispered, “Dende, you know what might happen if I keep doing this right?”

“I don’t care, Piccolo. It will feel amazing…and…and it’s you, anyway. It’s always been you. I could never feel this way about another.”

“Dende?” Piccolo said and lowered his body again, twisting so he could twine his antennae with Dende. The pleasure of it was shocking and bright as a sunrise: Dende’s fervent wish for he and Piccolo to be _atheannas_. Piccolo’s own sheath pulsed with heat at the thought and he gasped against Dende’s neck as he gently pulled out of the Namek-kiss, “Fuck, Dende, yes, oh fuck, yes!”

Dende gave another little whimper of need and pushed back against Piccolo’s thrusts and Piccolo’s cock brushed the secret slit entrance to Dende’s _theadur._ An ecstatic cry ripped out of Piccolo at the grazing touch. He pressed his big body back down over Dende to kiss his mouth over his shoulder. “Dende, fuck, Dende, oh my gods, can I…can I slip my thumb in your ass while I do this? I want…I want to be inside you when you come.”

“Yes, Piccolo, love _,_ yes! Soon or you’ll…ah…ah! Hurry!” Dende moaned and the way his bud opened so eagerly for Piccolo’s thumb, he thought maybe he _could_ fuck Dende that night. But he didn’t want to risk it. What they were doing was amazing, and he’d caused Dende enough pain already. Dende groaned more, “It feels so good, I…Piccolo…ah!”

Piccolo would never tire of making Dende incoherently babble. It was amazing. He thrust his thumb deeper, and with his big hands and Dende’s petite size, he could just brush his p-spot with his nail if he reached. It had the added benefit of stretching Dende as the second knuckle of his thumb slid inside Dende’s hot, eager ass.

Dende wailed with his release and the slick, flexing grip of Dende’s thighs combined with the perfect seizing pulses on his thumb sent Piccolo spiraling into his own orgasm. Piccolo’s semen jetted up and rubbed along Dende’s sheath’s slit, making them both scream with a whole new wave of ecstasy. Piccolo’s abs flexed as he curled over Dende’s small body, his cock reaching for the forbidden slit, and he cried, “Oh fuck, yes, Dende! You feel so fucking good!”

After trembling together for a long moment while Piccolo peppered Dende’s upper back and neck with kisses, Piccolo moved up to kiss his lips. The bulbs of his antennae slinked happily up and down the length of Dende’s droopier, tired antennae. Piccolo realized that while he pretty constantly trained his body to function in all manner of taxing circumstances and his muscular endurance and stamina were as tuned up as a Namek’s could be, poor Dende was made of softer, gentler stuff, and Piccolo needed to be careful not to break his lover.

He eased himself up and off Dende before dashing to the bathroom to get a warm, wet washcloth. He came back and gently rolled a very sleepy Dende onto his back. Piccolo cleaned him off, wiping up the mess between his legs first, carefully sweeping all his semen away from Dende’s _theadur._ He rinsed the cloth and returned to clean Dende’s cum and the rest of Piccolo’s off his belly and thighs before finally running the cloth between Dende’s cheeks to get the lube and spit. Dende watched him with an open mouth and even his drowsing his eyes widened a little.

Piccolo returned with a dry towel and laid it over the rather impressive wet spot Dende had made with Piccolo’s help. Piccolo liked caring for Dende this way, it was a chance to show him that Piccolo could be more than a murderous brute with a relentless hard-on. Dende whispered, “Thank you,” as Piccolo crawled back above him to kiss his mouth and twine their antennae once more. Now a flood of contentment and bliss flowed both ways.

Piccolo smiled against Dende’s lips and whispered, “I love you, Dende.”

Dende kissed him a moment, pulled back, and searched his eyes. Dende’s own were ablaze, but nervous as he said, “I love you, too, Piccolo. I think I may have been rash in saying that sleep was optional.”

“I think we should rest for a bit. Remember I canceled our ride for tomorrow morning, so we need to pace ourselves. I don’t want Goku to arrive and discover I’ve fucked you to death.”

Dende giggled and blushed, swatting Piccolo’s shoulder as he said, “Perhaps I’ll fuck _you_ to death. Stranger things have happened.”

“You do kill me, it’s true. Sorry I was such a blind jackass.”

“If you hadn’t been, we might never have had the amusement of Gohan voicing his belief that he could give _you_ sexual advice on the assumption that you were a straight virgin,” Dende said and laughed more before curling up to kiss Piccolo. “And I never would have gotten to teach you to dance like a Namek.”

“That part I’m definitely glad happened. I’m going to learn to teleport so we can come dance whenever.” Dende flushed. Piccolo chuckled and continued, “I love that me eating your ass didn’t make you blush, but threatening to take you dancing does.”

Dende grabbed his jaw and wiggled it back and forth, “No, you insolent man,” he said in the false deep tone he used when making jokes about being a god, “No, the thought that you would learn a whole new, rather difficult technique just so we could shake our behinds together makes me blush. That you have such hidden tenderness in you. I’ve known all along, of course, but to see it play out is a different thing. To be the recipient.”

Piccolo seized Dende’s hand and kissed the palm and up the inside of his wrist and forearm before murmuring, “Well, my petite lover, you better get used to it, because I’m going to spoil you and probably be ridiculous about you now that you’re in my clutches.”

“We’ll see. What will poor Mr. Popo say? Will we have to sneak around?”

“No! Of course not. He’ll be happy for you. He’s noted your moping too, although now I wish that infernal genie had just told me who you were moping about. It was always, ‘oh, I think you know very well, Piccolo-sama,’ when I’m certain he also knew that I thought it was Gohan.”

“Or he just didn’t know how big an idiot you can be at times.”

“It’s true, you are possibly the only one who knows that.”

“Mmm…I’ll bet Vegeta knows.”

“Maybe, but his definition of idiot is broad enough to include almost every living creature except Bulma and Whis.”

Dende pulled him down for another kiss. “I’m glad you stopped being a fool, Piccolo-sama.”

“Oh, don’t you start that nonsense,” Piccolo said and grinned. He couldn’t stop smiling with Dende.

“Hmm…you don’t want me to call you ‘master’ in bed? Or perhaps ‘daddy’ is more to your taste?”

Piccolo eyeballed Dende, gauging whether this was something that would turn Dende on, but when he brushed his antennae hesitantly over Dende’s, he felt the bubbling mirth just waiting to explode no matter how Piccolo responded. “You’re terrible, little Guardian, you know that? Some people like that sort of thing.”

“To each their own. But no, I’d rather not call you ‘daddy,’ it would make me think of Guru, which is not where I want my mind in bed.”

“It’s not where I want your mind either. I want it right here,” Piccolo said, kissing Dende aggressively and sliding his hand onto Dende’s crotch, fondling his balls, and Dende responded to his touch immediately. His eyelids fluttered down and he grinned into the kiss.

“Piccolo, I…oh gods…how can it still feel so good? How can I still be so hungry for you?” Piccolo bent his head and took Dende’s nipple in his mouth, using the tip of his fang to trace his areola, not so hard as to make Dende bleed, but close to it. The smaller man cried out and arched toward Piccolo’s mouth. “You’re wicked, Piccolo, and have no mercy.”

“Do you want me to stop?” Piccolo said, his lips kissing over to Dende’s other nipple.

“No, I just want…more…I’m so impatient. I suppose with all your meditation, you’ll be able to stand the time it will take to stretch me. But how will I?”

“With my help. With my tongue and fingers and maybe some fun accoutrements in your ass. Your godly duties are going to piss me off now. I want you every second, Dende,” Piccolo murmured and wrapped his hand around Dende’s already rigid length.

“Piccolo…you…ah! How…with just…just your hand…oh gods…I…is this…is this what you do to yourself?” Dende choked out as Piccolo’s fist twisted up and down Dende’s prick.

Piccolo sat up and said, “Would you like me to show you? I can do us both, together.”

Dende looked tired, but the sparkle in his eye was unmistakeable. Piccolo slipped his arm behind Dende’s lower back and pulled him up onto Piccolo’s lap so their dicks pressed together. “I can do it together, like this,” Piccolo said, holding their dicks tight together as he stroked them with both hands, making lube pour out of his palms, “Or separate, like this,” and he gripped each cock into one of his hands.

Dende threw his head back and bucked into Piccolo’s hand. “Piccolo, I…you’re making it…ah, they both…they both feel so good. I can’t think, it feels…ah! But I want to watch you touch yourself either way, so you have to stop…stop…stop driving me fucking insane!”

Piccolo leaned forward and kissed Dende. “Such a mouth on you. You better talk dirty to me if you want me to keep going,” he rasped and teased Dende’s tongue with his own, thrusting his into Dende’s mouth to taste him, to fuck his mouth with his tongue.

“Ah! Piccolo, if…if…if you keep goading me…oh…ah, ah, ah! You…I’ll have to…have to use my antennae on you again.”

“That’s not much incentive for me to do as you wish, Dende. I rather like what you get up to with your naughty antennae. Though…I have wondered for several weeks now…” Piccolo tilted his head back and moved so he could very gently run his tongue along the underside of Dende’s left antenna.

“Fuuuuck!” Dende wailed and came voluminously, his hips slamming against Piccolo’s hand so hard Piccolo actually had to put a little muscle into holding steady. Piccolo didn’t feel that experiment was entirely conclusive. Touching Dende’s antennae that way felt incredible for Piccolo, but the hand job could have been the only reason Dende lost control. So Piccolo curled his tongue around the bulb of Dende’s left antenna and gently pulled it into his mouth, sucked it a little.

Piccolo came hard, but Dende’s reaction floored Piccolo, possibly pleasing him more than his own climax. Dende’s cock never went soft as more and more semen jetted out of him while he cried, “Oh my fucking gods, Piccolo if you keep fucking doing that, I swear I will make you stick your giant cock so far up my ass it will break both our hips. Gods, Kami, Lord of lords, you are going to make me fucking come again…ah! Piccolo! Ah! Ah! Fuuuuck!” and Dende hit Piccolo right in the face with his cum.

Piccolo’s tongue danced against the bulb one last time as he released it from his mouth and Dende panted on his lap, his eyes bugging out a little as they rose to meet Piccolo’s gaze. He blushed a deep violet and whispered, “I’m so sorry, that was—“

“So fucking hot. Don’t apologize. I love that I just made you threaten to fuck me unto bodily injury. I love it. I confess that even before I fully accepted that it would be okay for me to admit to wanting you, I occasionally fantasized about doing that. Your antennae are so beautiful. So sensuous.”

“Piccolo, stop, or I will die from blushing. I can’t believe I just said those things,” Dende muttered and hid his face with his hands. “And my abs hurt from coming so many times. I…I didn’t even know it was possible to go more than once.”

“Since I’ve fucked a Saiyan, I probably have a different metric, but with humans, one to two a night is usually the norm. Younger guys you can get three or four per night. But nothing like this, Dende. Nothing like you. It is so hot to work your little body. And now I know how to make you tell me how you really feel. I know how to make you speak your mind.” Piccolo’s tongue darted out and licked up the underside of Dende’s right antenna, making his young lover groan, and Dende’s cock sprang to life. Piccolo whispered, “Look at you, still ready to rumble. Good gods, Dende, you needed me, didn’t you? I’ll have to make up for my cruel neglect.”

“Piccolo, oh gods, you have to stop doing that, it’s making me unbearably…hungry. Achy. I just…Coming feels good after that, but it doesn’t sate me.”

“Mmm…I bet I know why,” Piccolo murmured, kissing down his neck and back up before he looked into Dende’s eyes.

“Why?” Dende’s eyes searched Piccolo’s.

“Because I bet what your body really wants is my dick in your _theadur_.”


	7. Instincts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at last after a much slower recovery than I anticipated, so my updates are probably still going to be somewhat sporadic as I am still struggling with pain management/sleep issues--so also sorry for possibly shitty editing. Slow recovery has also put me way behind on the tedium of real life as well as the fun escape of my numerous fanfics. But I will do my best to keep supplying alien smut! Thanks for comments and kudos!

A guttural, animal growl came from deep in Dende’s throat and he said, “Piccolo…you can’t…you can’t talk like that. It…oh gods…” Dende’s hand slid down his belly and Piccolo expected him to touch his dick, but his hand went lower, dipped between his legs.

Piccolo gaped and groaned, “Oh fuck, Dende, can I…can I watch? Tip your hips up so I can see. Fucking gods, Dende, you’re going to break me you’re so beautiful.”

He lowered Dende back onto the bed and pushed his thighs apart. Dende’s fingertips dragged up his slit onto his balls, which he hesitantly took in his hand and tugged, gasping. His eyes found Piccolo’s and he said, “I’ve never…is…is this…is this okay?”

“Oh gods, Dende, yeah, it’s way better than okay. Show me what feels good, beautiful.”

Dende’s eyes flitted back and forth between Piccolo’s for a moment before they squeezed shut as he threw his head back, his fingertips still only brushing the tight seal of his sheath. Piccolo’s cock throbbed watching his elegant slender fingers experiment and try different things before Dende’s hand stopped, trembling, and used his middle finger to press hard enough that the slit opened. Piccolo could see just a sliver of the magenta velvet interior, but he ached to put his mouth on it. Just now though, he wanted to encourage Dende to learn his own body, to watch him explore, even if it meant Piccolo felt like he was going to explode from want.

“Would it feel good to go deeper?” Piccolo whispered.

Dende groaned and writhed against his hand, but pulled it away. “No…I should—“

Piccolo pulled his hand back down and growled, “You _should_ do what your body needs. There is no shame in touching yourself. No shame in giving yourself release. No shame in pleasure.”

“But…I…wouldn’t you…wouldn’t you rather do it?” Dende asked, his eyes wide.

“I want to watch you first, so I can please you. Show me.”

“I don’t know what will feel good—“

“Find it. Find what feels good. This is the hottest thing I can imagine, Dende, don’t tease. Show me.”

Dende breathed, “If…if it's for you, I…I’ll do it for you, Piccolo.”

Piccolo curled over his lithe little lover, kissed him, and said, “No, beautiful, do it for you. I want to watch, but this is for you. You need this. Your body needs this. No matter how I satisfy you, you should do this for yourself.”

Dende kissed him deeply, hungrily, and held Piccolo’s face with his free hand. He rubbed their antennae together again, causing Piccolo’s whole body to shudder. “You’re very sweet, Piccolo. Am I the only one in the universe that knows that?”

A predatory grin spread across Piccolo’s face and he said, “Careful, Dende, you might be making that judgment too early in our time together, because the things you make me want to do to your delicious body, are not sweet...” Piccolo bent to suck Dende’s nipples. Dende laughed, a little nervously, Piccolo thought, and Piccolo continued, “But I want to see what your body needs first. Show me please?”

“Piccolo…it’s not…it’s not something you’re supposed to do…that’s not what…not what _theadurs_ are for,” Dende said, his cheeks flushing and his eyes avoiding Piccolo’s.

“Hey, we might be on Namek for the moment, but we’re _not_ Nameks anymore, Dende, we’re Earthlings. And even if we lived here, all that ‘ _theadurs_ are sacred and not for pleasure’ bullshit that the conservative Nameks preach is bullshit. Complete bullshit. There is nothing wrong with deriving pleasure from your body. Let me love you properly, Dende. I can’t do that if you don’t even know how to love yourself.”

Dende nodded, his expression more confident, and he reclined again. His lids fell heavily, but not all the way shut as he pushed against his slit again, this time with his middle and ring finger, his hips opening wider. He whispered, “I don’t think I could wait for you to play much, Piccolo, I’d want you inside me. Like this,” and he dipped deeper into his sheath.

Piccolo panted helplessly at this unexpected pleasure. Dende started to slide his fingers in and out and his eyes grew wider. “Oh Lord of Lords, Piccolo…have you…have you done this? It feels _incredible_.” His eyes fluttered shut and he groaned, thrusting faster, adding a third finger almost without pause.

Piccolo caressed Dende’s inner thighs, not wanting to participate too much, but too excited not to touch Dende at all. “Yeah, beautiful, it does, doesn’t it? Imagine how good it will feel when we do it to each other.”

Dende’s eyes flew open again and he flushed. A little smile spread on his face and he beckoned Piccolo down to share _peluwsa_ with him again. A fluttering question still pulsed in Dende’s mind: whether Piccolo shared his wish to be _atheannas_. Piccolo smirked and looked into his eyes as his antennae communicated a resounding, heated _YES!_ Dende kicked at the bed a little as he plunged his fingers deeper. He sent his wish for them to at least touch tonight, though the risk of pregnancy was too high for them to truly become _atheanna_ yet.

Piccolo turned so their antennae still brushed, nothing but lust sloshing back and forth now, and whispered, his breath brushing over Dende’s ear, “If you want me to touch you, you better make yourself come…”

Dende gasped and Piccolo reluctantly pulled his antennae away to watch Dende touch himself. It hadn’t taken him long to figure out the twisting, plunging motion that Piccolo also favored, though Piccolo preferred a fist, but Dende probably couldn’t fathom such a thing at this early stage in his sexual awakening. Piccolo’s mouth actually watered he wanted to put his lips against Dende’s sheath so badly. He trailed his claws along Dende’s thighs and murmured, “Can I eat you out once you’re done?”

“What…what do…oh! Oh, gods, yes, Piccolo!” And just like that, just at the mention of Piccolo giving him oral, Dende’s sheath rippled and gripped his fingers in its fierce muscular grasp. Dende’s head lolled back and he gasped, “Yes, f…yes, yes!”

Piccolo kissed up Dende’s beautiful throat and took his mouth fiercely, took the liberty of putting his hand over Dende’s smaller one, letting his fingers slip inside that glorious, velvety heat. Dende cried, “Yes, fuck, touch me, please, Piccolo, please!”

Piccolo couldn’t resist Dende’s swearing, it was just adorable. His longer fingers found more pleasure inside his little lover, still quivering from his first _theadur_ orgasm. Dende’s whole body shook and he gasped and his eyes found Piccolo’s. “How can it feel so good? Gods, Piccolo…more…”

Piccolo, having never touched another Namek, was curious how it would feel to touch another’s _theadur_. It was intense, sending a strange thrill of arousal through Piccolo, causing his sheath to cramp, some mixture of pleasure and pain, overlaid with a need that was almost impossible to deny. Piccolo thrust three of his own, much larger, longer fingers inside Dende. Dende groaned and tried to take more of Piccolo, tried to force more penetration, rolling almost on top of Piccolo’s arm.

Dende’s eyes opened again and found Piccolo's. Piccolo thought perhaps Dende had just realized Piccolo’s long fingers would be capable of all sorts of fun, not just in Dende’s _theadur_. But then Dende’s diminutive hand slid up the inside of Piccolo’s thigh and Piccolo panted with his own realization. Dende’s fingers caressed Piccolo’s balls and he stared into Piccolo’s eyes as he whispered, “May I?”

Piccolo shivered and said, “Fuck, yes, beautiful.” Piccolo and Vegeta had experimented some with his _theadur_ before Piccolo had merged with Nail and discovered that Nameks considered it sacred and that, like Saiyan tails, it was how they pair-bonded. He and Vegeta both knew that it was clearly a reproductive organ, however, so Vegeta had never fucked his sheath. But they had a very good time with it despite that. Piccolo had some sense of its specialness just from absorbing Nail and reuniting with Kami, but it was a learned thing, not a deeply held belief. But that was before this moment.

The second Dende’s fingers dragged up along Piccolo’s slit, his claws scratching just enough to make Piccolo groan, Piccolo knew that he would never want another soul to be anywhere near his _theadur._ He also knew that he wanted Dende’s dick in him _now._ Yet the tiny, fast-shrinking bundle of rational brain-cells in Piccolo’s head screamed, _Pregnant! You’ll get pregnant! He’ll get pregnant! Stop! Stop!_

Piccolo’s hooked his top leg over Dende so Dende could reach underneath it while Piccolo reached down to touch Dende while they kissed. Piccolo knew he needed to wrest control back from what was likely thousands of years of evolution making the urge to mate nearly unavoidable when two Nameks touched each other this way.

He shimmied away from Dende’s delicious touch, pushing Dende fully on his back. Piccolo scratched down the inside of Dende’s thighs. Dende breathed, “Did…did you not like that?” and Piccolo glanced up from gazing hungrily at Dende’s beautiful magenta folds. Dende’s eyes were horrified.

“What? No! Fuck, the opposite, I was…overeager to…to…”

“Have my prick in you?” Dende offered and his face looked relieved.

Piccolo laughed. He loved when Dende said such things so casually. “Yeah.”

“Yes, it is rather…irresistible,” Dende said, rolling his crotch toward Piccolo’s hand and gasping.

Piccolo panted in turn. “I want…I think one of us should try to keep our wits about us when we’re doing this…until…until we’re ready. Really ready, not crazy primal brain ready.”

“Piccolo, it’s upsetting that you’re the voice of reason in this situation when I was hoping your animalistic nature would demand your body comply with your carnal urges,” Dende said, smirking, “But I suppose it’s good you were willing to deny us.”

Piccolo thrust his three middle fingers deeper inside Dende, twisting them and spreading them and closing them again. He held Dende’s eyes as he did that until he licked his own palm on his way to licking the upper, exterior edge of Dende’s _theadur_. Dende’s eyes held his but his eyebrows slammed together and his mouth fell open in a wail of pleasure. Piccolo’s tongue twisted inside Dende farther, tasting the soft, velvety lining of his sheath, and he pulled off to whisper, “Maybe you’ll let me make it up to you?”

Dende gave him an almost wicked little grin and said, “I’m not sure you can, darling.”

Piccolo’s dextrous tongue curled up against the top of Dende’s sheath, slid in and out. Once Dende was moaning and pleading, Piccolo stopped and said, “That sounded like a challenge, beautiful,” and Piccolo slid his pinky alongside his other fingers and commenced using a twisting, pulsing motion that Vegeta had discovered was quite effective at turning Piccolo into a lust-addled, climaxing mess. Piccolo was pleased to see that Dende had a very similar response and was now only capable of moaning Piccolo’s name and squeezing his thighs tight around Piccolo’s head when he let his tongue get back to work with his fingers.

Dende’s back arched and he wailed, “Piccolo! Piccolo! Piccolo! Fuck! Yes! Yes! _Yes!_ ” and fucking lost it. Piccolo’s own sheath started to twitch in response to the monstrous orgasm that rocked Dende, making his whole body shake and Piccolo’s ears popped Dende’s thighs gripped his head so hard in a pulsing rhythm that matched the clenching of his orgasm, like his thighs were just an extension of his _theadur_. Piccolo saw an impressive amount of cum rocket through the air, right over Dende’s head onto the headboard.

After several minutes of moaning and trembling and weakly bucking his hips toward Piccolo’s gentler ministrations, Dende finally went still except for his heaving chest. Piccolo eased his fingers out of his lover and kissed gently up his belly as he rose up over him, taking Dende’s legs, which were still crossed behind his head, with him. Dende chortled softly and uncrossed them as Piccolo bent to kiss him. Dende’s eyelids fell heavily and he gasped, “Holy shit,” and tried to curl up to kiss Piccolo.

He couldn’t manage though, so Piccolo bent down and kissed Dende tenderly. Piccolo whispered, “Did I make it up to you?”

“No,” Dende said with a grim face, but then he burst into uncontrollable giggles as he said, “Because now I know I will die when you put your prick in my _theadur_ , so we can never have it.” He lavished Piccolo with kisses, pulling his face down with shaky hands. “Oh, Piccolo, that was incredible. How…how? Have you been with other Nameks?”

“No, you’re my first _theadur_ , well…aside from my own. Which has received a fair amount of experimentation,” Piccolo said and immediately regretted it. He didn’t know how a Namek born and raised amongst Nameks would view his actions with Vegeta. He didn’t want Dende to feel less special. He forged ahead to distract Dende. He nuzzled his ear and whispered, “If you want to experiment with mine, you can…”

Dende purred, “Piccolo, I’m exhausted but you keep presenting me with irresistible alternatives to sleep…”

Piccolo flopped on his back and pulled Dende onto his chest. Even though he ached to come after Dende had touched him earlier, he thought sleep probably was necessary for Dende. Dende squeezed his chest and kissed his pec, humming happily. Piccolo tried to stifle his own desire and he hoped Dende would drop immediately to sleep, killing all hope.

Dende’s mouth was on his nipple, biting it with just the right amount of force. Piccolo tried not to groan and roll his hips, and failed. Dende undoubtedly saw Piccolo’s hard-on. Piccolo kissed the top of Dende’s head and whispered, “I’m okay, beautiful. I know you’re tired.”

Dende said nothing, but dragged his claws down Piccolo’s abs, leaving blood in their wake. Piccolo panted as Dende stroked Piccolo’s cock a few times before nudging his balls out of the way and plunging three fingers inside Piccolo’s sheath. Piccolo cried out and his legs opened involuntarily, allowing Dende to straddle one of them, rubbing himself on it and moaning. Dende kissed and bit his way up Piccolo’s neck, thrusting hard and fast into Piccolo, adding a fourth finger and making Piccolo groan like he was already coming. 

Dende reached Piccolo’s ear and after biting it, he growled, “What if I’m not okay, Piccolo? What if I won’t be okay until I feel you clenching on me? Until you splatter us both with your cum?”

_Gods, where had Dende learned to talk like this?_ Piccolo wondered as he almost blew his load just feeling Dende’s breath on his ear. Piccolo tried to answer, but now he got a taste of how wild he drove Dende because Piccolo couldn’t form a word other than groaning Dende’s name over and over as Dende mimicked what Piccolo had done to him. Dende was a quick learner, on top of all his other wonderful qualities. One coffee with Vegeta and he’d be able to turn Piccolo into a puddle.

Dende kept his mouth, his panting, gasping mouth, pressed against Piccolo’s ear. His soft moans and his hard-on sliding up and down over Piccolo’s hip, aided by the sweat now pouring off Piccolo as he rocketed toward a shattering dual orgasm, made Piccolo climb higher, faster. Dende moaned, “Are you going to leave me hungry, Piccolo? Or are you going to come for me?” When Piccolo only whimpered in response, Dende’s voice grew authoritative, and he commanded, “Come for me, Piccolo. Come for me now!”

Piccolo exploded, granting Dende’s wish to be splattered in cum. His _theadur_ gripped Dende’s fingers so hard, Piccolo was a little surprised his lover’s knuckles didn’t pop. Dende’s cries matched Piccolo’s own and Piccolo felt his insatiable little lover shoot semen up his side as he ground his cock on Piccolo’s flank. He bit Piccolo’s ear hard and gasped, “Fuck, yes, Piccolo! Gods, I didn’t know anything could feel as good as making you come like this…” 

Piccolo quivered and trembled through the final throes of his insane dual orgasm. Dende’s mouth was dangerous and powerful. Piccolo supposed that was to be expected since he was a god. He smiled weakly and said, “Gods…or rather God. You are fucking amazing, Dende.”

But Dende was already asleep, his fingers still inside Piccolo. Piccolo considered getting up to clean them off, but he muttered, “Fuck it,” and fell asleep with Dende held tight in his arms, joined intimately, and sticky with cum. Piccolo had never been happier.

* * *

After another day and night of a lot of insane orgasms, but also several fun meals, more dancing, and more loving tenderness than Piccolo ever though he would give, receive, or deserve, Goku appeared in their room, startling them both out of what was turning into another heated session of making out. Piccolo didn’t want to go back to Earth. He wanted to live out his days here, in a hotel suite on New Namek with Dende. Goku looked completely confused as Dende shrieked and yanked the covers up to hide his nudity.

“Gods, Goku, you’re two hours early!” Piccolo said, angrier than he had any right to be, given Goku’s willingness to be their personal intergalactic chauffeur.

“Huh. Whoops. I’m always bad at remembering how the time difference works out. But I’m already here, so let’s go,” Goku said jovially holding out his hands toward the two naked Nameks.

Piccolo rolled his eyes and tapped Dende’s head and his own, making their traditional attire. Dende looked horribly disappointed and Piccolo wanted to console him, but not in front of Goku.

They were back and Goku cocked his head to the side. “What were you guys doing anyway? Why were you naked? I’ve never seen a naked Namek before!” he said amiably.

“Gods, Goku, it doesn’t matter. I’m glad you’re expanding your horizons. Can you start teaching me IT the next few days?”

“I can try, but I’m not much of a teacher. I’d be better off taking you to Yardrat. They’d teach you faster.”

“How fast?”

“I dunno.”

“I’ll come see you later and we can talk about it.”

“Sure thing! Can we do some training?” Goku was like a little kid he was so excited, bouncing up and down with his hands in fists.

“Yeah, go on, I’ll be down in a while.”

“Fun! See if Vegeta wants to come, the two of you together would be a fun challenge!”

Piccolo flared a nostril and rolled his eyes, waved Goku off. He turned back to Dende and grinned. But Dende looked…uncomfortable. Upset. “Dende?”

“Oh, uh, I suppose I better get back to my Guardian duties. Thank you for taking me out again, Piccolo.”

Piccolo slid his arms around Dende and bent to give him a kiss, but Dende dodged him and gently pushed his arms off, stepping away from him. Piccolo’s heart became brittle with fear. What was happening? Why was Dende suddenly rejecting him? Five minutes ago he’d had his mouth on Dende’s _theadur_. He swallowed hard, trying to bury his hurt as he said, “Oh, okay. I guess…I guess I’ll see you later?”

Dende said, “Yes, if you wish,” and his face looked…cool.

Piccolo felt his composure slipping again. He said in a small voice, “Did I upset you somehow?”

“What? No. Of course not. Have a good day,” Dende said with a courteous little head nod.

Piccolo gaped. He felt like he was going insane. He couldn’t believe Dende was just…blowing him off. Like this. Here. But before Piccolo could say anything more, Dende’s eyes darted away from his and he hurried across the Lookout to speak with Mr. Popo.

Piccolo stood flabbergasted and trying not to fucking _cry_ for so long that Mr. Popo came over to ask if there was something he needed. He turned to the genie and muttered, “No. Nothing you can give me,” and fled.

* * *

Piccolo stopped by Capsule Corps to see if Vegeta wanted to come kick Goku’s ass and maybe find out about training on Yardrat.

“This is what you say to me? After your tale of woe and romance last time? How did it _go,_ for fuck’s sake? Don’t leave me hanging! Or shall I ask Bulma if we can console you tonight?”

“I…I don’t know? I thought it went really well, like _really_ well. We stayed an extra night…but then once we got back…he…he…”

“Oh shit, you’re going to cry, aren’t you?” Vegeta said, his eyes widening with alarm. “Don’t cry, Piccolo, fuck all. Come here, you oversized child,” Vegeta growled and he pulled Piccolo into a rough hug. Piccolo sobbed into Vegeta’s shoulder. Vegeta said, “Is that moron expecting us at any particular time or can you give me the whole story first?”

Piccolo told Vegeta what he thought were the relevant details, ending with an in-depth retelling of the final few minutes of his time with Dende. Vegeta held his elbow one hand, and his chin in the other. He narrowed his eyes and tapped his lips with his forefinger. “That is just fucking bizarre, Piccolo.”

“Right? So I’m not crazy?”

“Oh, you’re crazy, but not about this. What is the Little Kami thinking? What changed? Do you suppose he’s concerned about Mr. Popo’s approval? That’s idiotic. It can’t be that. Dende is above the genie in rank and status. Hmm…This is truly a puzzle. You told him about us? How did he take that? Ah, yes, maybe I’m the issue, since you said Goku mentioned me right before? Mentioned us training together? Is he insecure? I can go tell the little moralizing shit that I’m done with your green ass and I never want to touch it or fuck it again.”

“I don’t think that would be helpful, Vegeta,” Piccolo said, “Besides, you suck at lying.”

Vegeta smirked at him and chuckled. But his face turned thoughtful again. “No, I think I have it. You didn’t explain your being in bed with Dende to Goku when he asked?”

“No, of course not! How does Goku not understand that? He has two fucking kids!”

“But you said Dende had insecurity about you being ashamed of him, yes?”

“Godsdamnit, you think he interpreted me not telling Goku we were fucking as…as…as hiding him?”

“It makes a certain amount of sense. I might be offended if I weren't the sort of person to just immediately set that idiot straight about what a fucking idiot he is.”

“Fuck! What do I do about it?”

“I have no idea, he’s being immature. Why don’t you offer to make dinner for him up there tonight. Or. Oh gods,” Vegeta paused and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I’ll ask Bulma to throw a barbecue tonight. She’ll never let me live this down. You go up there and ask him to join you. Don’t be all showy about it, just say that while we were training, I mentioned the woman’s barbecue and said you both should come. Then he’ll know that you were openly speaking about the two of you as a couple, and that you are invited as a couple. You know, when I first fucked you all those years ago, I never imagined I’d be giving you dating advice.”

“And I never imagined I’d have to deal with you yelling at me for sucking your wife’s tits for too long, but here we are. Alright. So should I just let it be for the day, go train with you and Goku, and then pop up there a little before the shindig?”

“Yes. Let me go give Bulla to Trunks and tell the woman what she’s signed up for, I’ll meet you and the idiot later. Will you be alright? No more _weeping_?” Vegeta said but smirked.

“Shut up, you fucker,” Piccolo said, rubbing his eyes and laughing.

* * *

Piccolo got his ass beat all day. He couldn’t think of anything but what he would do if Dende said he’d thought better of being with Piccolo after returning to the rarefied air of the Lookout. Vegeta and Piccolo planned to have Goku take them to Yardrat the following morning to see if they were willing to teach them and to ask how long it might take.

Piccolo went to his house and cleaned up, dressed with a great deal of agonizing, and flew up to the Lookout. He searched out Dende’s chi, but could barely find it. Dende was _suppressing_ his chi. But Piccolo was no stranger to searching out people who didn’t wish to be found. Dende was in a courtyard Piccolo could only find by delving deep in Kami’s corner of his psyche. Piccolo was also better at suppressing his chi than Dende, so Dende couldn’t flee.

Piccolo watched his little lover, or at least the man he hoped was still his lover. Dende sobbed into his hands, tugging forlornly on his antennae. Piccolo truly didn’t understand. He thought if Dende was playing it cool, Vegeta’s plan would work, but this was different. Dende was clearly very upset. Very hurt. Piccolo needed the clarity that only came with straightforward communication, and if he was really going to spend his life with Dende, he supposed he might as well start practicing now. He took a deep, silent breath and stealthily strode into the bizarre, hidden palazzo.


	8. Gods and Demons

Piccolo sat down next to Dende where he sat on an Escherian ledge that somehow seemed to open up above where they were. Dende startled and hastily wiped his eyes as he stammered, “P-P-Piccolo? I, um, wh—how. Um. Hello,” and looked away from Piccolo, trying to hide his face.

Piccolo gently took Dende’s hand. “I have no idea what I’ve done to hurt you so, Dende, but that is the last thing I ever wanted.”

Dende tried to stand, but Piccolo held his hand gently, but firmly. “Dende, please talk to me. You’re breaking my heart.”

Dende’s eyebrows came together. He scoffed and said, “How am _I_ breaking _your_ heart?”

Piccolo was taken aback by how harsh Dende sounded. “I thought…I thought after, um, after…our time together, we would…um… _be_ together. But you…you…you blew me off this morning, like it was…” Piccolo swallowed hard and choked out, “Like it was nothing to you.”

Dende stared at him and said, “It would never work, Piccolo. I see that now.”

Piccolo felt the humiliating sting of tears in his nose. “But…but… _why_?” he croaked.

“I should have heeded what I saw in your mind,” Dende said and shriveled, turning away.

“Dende, please at least talk to me. You told me you didn’t want a fling and I believed you. I trusted you!”

“Piccolo, honestly?” Dende’s eyes were dark, angry.

“The only thing I could even fathom is that you were upset that I didn’t tell Goku we were having sex when he asked what we were doing. But that wasn’t because I don’t want him to know we’re together. I just…look, I know you haven’t had many dealings with Goku, but he is so damn naïve that explaining anything like that necessarily ends up a lot more…detailed...than I feel anyone besides us should be privy to.”

Dende raised an eyebrow, then shook his head, and looked out over the bizarre opening below their feet. “It made me realize it would never work, you’d always be making excuses and sweeping me under the rug. Go back to Vegeta, Piccolo. _Again_.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I never want to sweep you under the rug! I came up here to take you down to a barbecue that Bulma’s throwing, as my boyfriend, not as Kami or as a friend or anything other role, but as my lover, my _atheanna_. I talked to Vegeta before we trained. I asked him if he had any thoughts on how I fucked up and pissed you off, but I certainly didn’t go see him for…for…for sex!”

“Only for affection and companionship?” Dende said bitterly.

“Fuck, this is why I had to talk to him! I don’t know what’s happening right now. I’m really shitty at interpersonal stuff. I love you, Dende, and I thought you loved me too, so I’m really fucking confused!”

“All we did was get drunk and mess around. You didn’t make me your _atheanna,_ so you don’t need to pretend we’re committed.”

Piccolo crossed his arms. Now he was angry. He felt like Dende was being deliberately difficult. “You might not be committed, but I am. Do you want to go to the barbecue with me or not?”

“No, thank you,” Dende said and got up.

Piccolo said in a defeated voice, “Why won’t you just tell me what’s wrong? I’m not good at this stuff, but I’m trying to be better for you. I’m always trying to be better for you. In every possible way.”

That finally seemed to reach Dende and he sighed and sat down again. He looked away from Piccolo. “I felt very…raw…that you let Goku rip us out of such intimacy as what we were doing. That you just clothed me like a doll and put me away until the next time you were ready to play. Then to immediately deny our new relationship and run off to Vegeta. I saw you—even though it’s wrong to use my powers that way—I saw you in his arms.”

“Crying over you,” Piccolo said softly.

“What?” Dende asked, his face bewildered.

“I just went to ask him to train like Goku wanted, but he wanted to know if his plan had worked and whether you and I were together. I lost my composure because I…I…I knew I messed up, but I didn’t know _how_. He’s my best friend, Dende. Nothing more, despite our history. He let me cry about how…how you treated me. Then he gave me advice. That’s all. There was nothing sexual about him holding me. It was just a friend consoling a friend.”

Dende’s face softened a little and he said, “Really?”

“Yeah, really. He’s making Bulma throw a barbecue for us. So you and I could do something here, as a couple, so I could show you, prove to you, that I want to be _with_ you. Not just for sex, though I loved everything we did the past two days. It was never just for that. You’ve always been one of my dearest friends. It broke my heart before, after our last trip to New Namek, when you wouldn’t talk to me. You’re breaking it again. I tried to do my best. I want to be good to you, Dende.”

“I felt horrible that you just…stopped…what we were doing because of Goku.”

Piccolo quirked a little half smile at Dende and raised an eyebrow. “Should I have kept going with him in the room?”

Dende considered this and squirmed. “No…I suppose…Couldn’t you have asked him to come back later?”

“Dende, he provided intergalactic transportation so we could go on a date, it felt a bit…unfair, and rude…to make him leave and come back later. I dressed you because you tend to be modest. You were hiding beneath the sheet. I was only trying to help. And since I knew we were coming back to the Lookout, I just…your robes seemed simpler. Would…should I have put you back in your sexy dancing outfit?”

Dende’s face finally softened completely. “Oh, Piccolo. No. I…I’m sorry. I feel…insecure…after we shared _peluwsa_ …I guess…It seems I was seeing everything through an unfair lens.”

“I fully intended to finish what I started on New Namek here, in your bed, but you sent me packing. I never want to leave you…” Piccolo flushed and a little helpless smile spread on his face as he continued, “Unsatisfied. Or raw. I was just trying to get rid of Goku as quickly as possible to get back to it, and the location seemed irrelevant to me. I’m really sorry, Dende. I love you, with all my heart.”

Dende searched his eyes. “Do you mean it, that you’d like me to come tonight?”

“Of course. I want you to be mine, openly, loudly, possessively _mine_.”

Dende looked at his hands in his lap. “You’re truly not ashamed of me?”

“Why do you think that I would be ashamed of you?”

“I’m not a warrior. I’m soft and gentle and I hate fighting.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got enough love of fighting and hard, sharp edges for both of us. I love your sweetness…” Piccolo hesitantly slid his hand into Dende’s and laced their fingers. He leaned closer to Dende’s ear and murmured, “I love your sauciness, too. I love all that you are. And I’ve seen that you can be hard at times. Rough. Aggressive.”

Dende’s cheeks turned purple and Piccolo was relieved that his flirtation had produced a smirk on Dende’s face. Piccolo’s heart thudded as Dende turned toward him, brushed their antennae together. Piccolo sent shockwaves of love at Dende, the soul-shaking power of his care and affection for his little Namek lover, his lust, his tenderness, his longing.

Dende nudged Piccolo’s face up a little and pressed his lips to Piccolo’s, keeping their antennae together. Piccolo’s mouth met Dende’s eagerly. On top of his emotional turmoil throughout the day, Piccolo had also had the aching want that had clearly been a factor in how upset Dende had been. He struggled not to pant and get hard immediately. He slid his free hand onto Dende’s jaw, plunged his tongue into Dende’s sweet mouth, dragging it along Dende’s fangs.

Dende twisted to meet Piccolo’s passion and he pushed Piccolo onto his back, rucked his robes up, and straddled him as they kissed more deeply. Piccolo gasped, “Dende…I love you…”

“I love you, Piccolo…Sorry I was…selfish.”

“No, not that. Thank you for talking to me. Please know you can always tell me when I’m being an idiot, because I usually don’t know.”

Dende laughed softly and kissed Piccolo more. Piccolo was rapidly approaching the mindless state Dende could put him in just by kissing him. “You’re…you’re going to make a mess of me, beautiful.”

“I know you can make clothes go away as easily as you make them, darling,” Dende murmured against Piccolo’s lips and reached brazenly into Piccolo’s pants.

“Is that an invitation?”

“It is if you want it to be,” Dende purred, “You said you never wanted to leave me unsatisfied.”

Piccolo grinned and made his clothes disappear. Dende cried, “Oh! It still startles me even when I know it’s going to happen. Do mine too.”

Piccolo slipped his hands under the red outer vest that Dende wore over his white billowing gown. He pushed it back off Dende’s shoulders, ran his hands over the soft cloth of his sleeves and tossed it aside. Piccolo buried his face in the thick ruff around Dende’s neck and nipped at him once he found the delicious skin beneath. He rasped, “I confess that I’ve had more than a few impure thoughts of what I might do to you while you were in your innocent robes, hiding that wicked body of yours.”

Piccolo sat back up slowly, still kissing and biting along Dende’s jaw and reached for the lower hem of the voluminous garment. He hitched it up farther, as he caressed Dende’s lithe legs. Upon reaching Dende’s taut little ass, Piccolo palmed each cheek with a groan. “I can’t do exactly what I fantasized about yet, but soon…if you’ll continue tolerating me.”

Dende moved one of Piccolo’s hands from his ass onto his very hard cock, and said, “I’m not sure ‘tolerate’ is the word I would use, Piccolo.”

“It seems…unholy…that you should have nothing underneath your robes, Kami-Sama,” Piccolo whispered against Dende’s ear, his tongue racing around the edge of it, making Dende shiver.

“Piccolo-Sama, it is you who dressed me this morning, so I’m not to blame for this particular heresy…” Dende rolled his hips and growled, “You can, Piccolo. I’m ready. I know you think you’ll hurt me, but you won’t.”

“Dende…I don’t want our first time to be rushed.”

“Then don’t rush,” Dende turned into Piccolo’s mouth, kissed him, sucked his lip, and growled, “You can draw it out as long as you like, but I want it to end with your prick in me, Piccolo. I want it to end with you fucking me. I’ll feel more like your boyfriend if you fuck me.”

“You _are_ my boyfriend, beautiful. You don’t need to risk your ass getting shredded to solidify that.”

Dende pulled back and shoved Piccolo’s chest, not even moving him, but he growled and shouted, “Stop fucking patronizing me, Piccolo. I let you do it in Namek because I still thought that it would end when we returned to Earth, but if you really want this, if you want to _be_ with me, stop it. I’m an adult, not a child, not a piece of blown glass, and I may be a…a…a virgin, but I’m not…I’m not _pure_. I want you to fuck me, damnit, so fuck me!” Dende’s breathing was fast and ragged, his cheeks were flushed.

Piccolo only had so much restraint. He tumbled Dende onto his back, pushed the robes up farther so he could see Dende’s dripping erection. Piccolo made lube drip from his fingers and started playing with Dende’s pucker, which twitched and trembled under even the lightest touch. Piccolo savaged Dende’s mouth and Dende’s claws tore into his arms. Piccolo moaned and said, “Your body, Dende, holy shit, you’re right…you need it, don’t you? Such a mouth on this perfect little god.”

“Do as your god commands, darling,” Dende said in his mocking god tone.

Piccolo laughed and kissed and bit along Dende’s jaw, yanking at the ruff and tearing it. Dende’s eyes sparkled and his cheeks flushed. Piccolo tore more of the robe, leaving it almost open down the entire front. Dende panted. Piccolo raised his eyebrows and smirked as he slid his long middle finger inside Dende, “Maybe I’m not the only one who has a few fantasies about these holy vestments, hmm?”

Dende’s ass squeezed tight on Piccolo’s finger, making him shudder imagining that feeling on his cock. Dende gave him a saucy smile and said, “I have rather a lot of fantasies about you, Piccolo. Are you going to make _all_ my dreams come true?”

“Yeah, I hope so, beautiful. That’s what I want. Anything…specific…I can do to make this more fun for you?”

“You do whatever you like, darling,” Dende said, suddenly demure.

Piccolo growled, “That sounds like you want something, but are too embarrassed to tell me. Don’t be. I want to do everything you’ve ever dreamed of, down to the smallest detail."

Dende flushed and squirmed a little. He kissed Piccolo, nibbled his lips and said, “Can you…can you pin me? My hands, above my head?”

Piccolo, faster than Dende could react, seized both his small hands and slammed them hard against the stone floor, held them down high above his head with Piccolo’s free hand, it stretched Dende out, and Piccolo liked that, liked being able to bite and suck along his ribcage. Dende moaned and spread his legs wider, pulling them up along his stretched torso. Piccolo slipped a second-finger alongside his first, driving deeper into Dende, spreading his fingers apart to stretch his demanding lover. To prepare him. Piccolo didn’t want to hurt Dende, but felt there was no denying him any longer.

He gently tapped Dende’s prostate and Dende writhed against his hold. All his muscles stood out as he fought against Piccolo’s hand. Piccolo put more pressure and curled down to lick the underside of Dende’s dick, forcing his tongue into the slit to get at the pre-cum pouring out of his feisty little lover. “Piccolo, oh gods, you…you…not again. Don’t leave me unsatisfied again.”

Piccolo smirked and prodded Dende’s prostate again and again, harder now, and circled his fingertips on it until Dende groaned, “No, fuck, no, damnit!” and splattered Piccolo’s chest with cum.

“Gods, Dende, I love the way you’re gripping my fingers, but don’t worry, I’m not done with you. I just wanted to relieve a little pressure before I add a _lot_ more.”

Dende’s eyes flew open and he breathed, “You…you…you’re not done?”

“I thought you wanted me to fuck you?” Piccolo purred and took Dende’s tip in his mouth.

Dende cried out. “Yes, Piccolo, please! Please! Now! Don’t tease me anymore.”

“Dende, you may be a god, but you’re at my mercy, and I think I will tease you more,” Piccolo carefully added a third finger and continued to thrust into Dende for a moment before pulling them out entirely.

Dende whimpered, “Ah! You felt so good, please…please don’t stop.”

Piccolo kissed Dende’s mouth and made lube pour out of his palm, stroking himself and brushing slick fingers over Dende’s still twitching pucker. “I thought you wanted me to fuck you? I can’t very well fuck you with my fingers inside you…at least not yet,” Piccolo murmured. He pressed his head to Dende’s bud and Dende groaned and bucked toward him. Piccolo chuckled and said, “Ah, ah, ah, now, little god, the Demon King has you in his clutches, you will do as the Demon King says, because I believe you have already fallen prey to his temptations…” Piccolo pushed his fingers back inside Dende, who relaxed and opened for him immediately. Piccolo groaned to feel how responsive, how surprisingly ready Dende really was. “Fuck, Dende, the way you’re…you’re opening up for me…you’re practically gaping.”

Dende curled up, straining against Piccolo’s hold, kissed Piccolo roughly and said, “Does anything ever tempt the Demon King?” Dende somehow relaxed his ass even more and it made Piccolo’s hips twitch toward him involuntarily. Dende breathed, “Or is he…too strong?”

Piccolo removed his fingers and touched Dende’s hungry opening with his prick. “He’s too weak to resist a god, especially one like you, one as perfect as you…But you’re mine. You’re _mine_ ,” Piccolo growled and began to ease inside the tight, blissful heat of his little lover, “And I’m going to take what’s _mine_.”

Dende’s mouth hung open as he curled his abs, tilting his pelvis up to accommodate Piccolo even more. Piccolo slowly surged into Dende, expecting to see pain on Dende’s face at any moment, but Dende shivered and his eyelids fluttered down and he moaned. Piccolo controlled himself until Dende made such a delicious noise, but then Piccolo drove hard into Dende, burying himself and crying out in ecstasy. Dende’s ass, in addition to his soul, was divine. 

“Fuck yes!” Dende wailed and Piccolo’s self-control shattered. He thrust deeply, pulling out almost entirely and thrust again, the tightness and the heat unbelievably good on him as he started snapping his hips against Dende’s perfect ass. Piccolo knew he could never fuck another, not after this perfection.

“Holy shit, Dende, you feel fucking incredible,” Piccolo gasped as he plunged more, feeling the sweet spot inside Dende and slamming hard against it.

Dende fought his hold in earnest now, trying to lunge up to kiss Piccolo, so Piccolo curled down to meet his mouth. Dende’s mouth devoured Piccolo’s in between gasping moans and pleading. He sucked down Dende’s neck roughly, leaving a trail of marks. He found Dende’s perfect little nipples and took each in his mouth, sucking them until they were hard. Dende’s every breath had Piccolo’s name on it and it was driving Piccolo wild. He moved back up to Dende’s neck and his ear, bit the lobe and gasped, “Are you going to come for me?”

“Piccolo, I—I—I just came! I don’t know if…”

Piccolo adjusted his angle a bit and hit Dende’s p-spot hard. Dende’s words dissolved into moans and his eyes flew open and he breathed, “Oh, oh, oh, fuck! Oh fuck, Piccolo!” Piccolo moved faster, now staying deep inside Dende and pulsing against the magic inside him. Dende screamed, curling up hard against Piccolo’s hold, his little shoulders popping, and giz splattered them both from belly-button to chin.

The tight, fast clenching and gripping of Dende’s ass on Piccolo’s cock drove him over the edge instantly and he roared Dende’s name, holding himself as deep inside Dende’s heat as he could. Their hips bashed together a few more times and a shuddering groan burst out of Dende as a final spurt of cum jetted out of him, before he fell back limp, breathing hard, and glistening with sweat.

Piccolo’s aftershocks rocked his whole body and he breathed Dende’s scent, pressing his face into Dende’s neck for a long moment before pushing up on his elbow to look into Dende’s eyes. He kissed Dende and whispered, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Laughter erupted out of Dende and his eyes went wide. He said, barely intelligible he laughed so hard, “No, Piccolo, good Lord of Lords, no, you didn’t hurt me,” and he kissed Piccolo in such a way that Piccolo thought they might not make it to the barbecue and Vegeta would never let him hear the end of it. But that was fine with Piccolo.

Dende relinquished Piccolo’s lips and breathed, “Thank you for listening to me. If we’re going to be together, you can’t treat me like your protégé. It feels weird, for one thing, but it’s also condescending. I may be sexually inexperienced, but I know my own body quite well, having lived with it many years, so stop telling me what I can and can’t do with it. I didn’t realize until we returned so…abruptly…how irritating I find it when you tell me what my own body is feeling.”

Piccolo gave him a little thrust. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to make sure it was a good experience…” Piccolo kissed Dende tenderly.

“I know. And it was. Better than good, darling.”

Piccolo smiled. He said, “Much as I would like to keep ravishing you in rooms I didn’t even know existed, would you please go to the Briefs’ barbecue with me?”

Dende’s face softened. He nipped Piccolo’s jaw up to his ear and said, “Only if you promise to ravish me again later.”

“Fuck yes, Dende, as much as you’ll let me.”

“Good. I better go get dressed. My robes are not in suitable condition. And…would it be alright if I go…as myself, as Dende, not as Kami?”

“I would prefer that, because it is Dende who I love. Dende who is _mine_. Dende whose perfect ass just made me come so hard I thought I was going to faint.”

Dende smiled and after a moment whispered, “Then you ought to get your dick out of Dende, so he can go put on clothes.”

“Oh, right…” Piccolo said, embarrassed that he was still extremely hard.

But it made Dende grin and wiggle his eyebrows as he said, “We’ll have to see if there isn’t some hidden corner of the Briefs’ compound where we might have a moment alone.”

They hurried carefully to Dende’s quarters, avoiding Mr. Popo in their nude and disheveled state. Piccolo had never actually been in Dende’s quarters and it felt intimate to follow his little lover right into his inner sanctum and watch him quickly clean himself up and dress in another flattering tunic and skinny jeans, this time with flip-flops, not incomprehensible boots. Piccolo remade his own clothes. Dende giggled and took his hand. “Shall we?”

“Yeah. Don’t mind Vegeta if he’s…surly.”

“Vegeta is always _surly_ , it would alarm me if he were suddenly pleasant. Then I would know he was plotting my death with enough detail to please himself.”

“He knows that I’m serious about you, Dende, and he’s supportive. But he might seem…jealous.”

“Piccolo, Vegeta has never once in my life been pleasant to me. You warning me that he is going to be abrasive and rude is like warning me that I will probably have to breathe. It’s absurd to even say it.”

“I just want you to know it doesn’t… _mean_ …anything. Okay? Since you have been a little…insecure,” Piccolo said, wary of hurting Dende’s feelings again.

“Yes, I suppose I have. I imagine Vegeta is rather…competent…in bed,” Dende said with a little scowl.

“I haven’t been to bed with Vegeta in a long time,” Piccolo said.

“Hmmm…I noticed that was not a denial,” Dende said, raising an eyebrow at Piccolo.

“I’m not going to lie to you, beautiful. But I will tell you the truth: that it doesn’t matter how Vegeta is in bed. I love fucking you. I love doing everything with you. So don’t worry about him.”

“I’ll try. Don’t flirt with him though, it will make me crabby.”

“Um, I don’t think either Vegeta or I know how to flirt. Not really our wheelhouse. Vegeta’s idea of foreplay is beating the shit out of me.”

Dende giggled. “I’m relieved you haven’t adopted his methods. Though you do seem to have a fondness for spanking me.”

“You keep being naughty. You have to be punished,” Piccolo said with a little smirk.

Dende’s eyes slid over to Piccolo and he purred, “I thought you didn’t know how to flirt?”

“I told you, I’m trying to be better for you. In every way.”

“Shall I compare notes with Vegeta then, see how you’re coming along?” Dende chortled. “Can you even imagine his face?”

“You mean for the nanosecond before he incinerated himself and everyone in his vicinity?” Piccolo said laughing.

“I know I shouldn’t goad him, but jealousy tempts me to try.”

“Didn’t Guru teach you not to play with fire?”

“No, he taught me to control it,” Dende said with a flourish of his hand producing a flame which he quickly and dramatically extinguished, “Which has worked with the hottest thing I’ve tried it on.” He ran his finger down Piccolo’s sternum, a fast line of flame heating Piccolo’s skin behind Dende’s touch.

Piccolo seized Dende’s hand as it hooked in his waistband. He kissed the delicate green knuckles and said, “Just remember I can’t actually win in a fight against Vegeta, though I would die trying to save you from your own foolish provocation.”

Dende wrapped his arms around Piccolo’s neck as they paused on the edge of the Lookout. “Oh very well, I’ll behave myself. I’ll save up my jealousy and later tonight you’ll just have to reassure me of your devotion.” He kissed Piccolo, tugging him down to Dende’s mouth.

“I will reassure you until we both pass out.”

“I like the sound of that. I may have to fake insecurity. Oh gods, is…is Gohan going to be there?”

“I imagine so, why?”

“Well…how do you think he’ll take it?”

“With confusion and naïveté?”

Dende kissed Piccolo again. “Yes, that sounds about right. Are you ready to come out of the closet with me?”

Piccolo laughed and dropped off the edge of the Lookout, pulling Dende into his arms to free-fall. “I’d rather take you in a closet, you keep being so fucking sexy that I can’t think straight.”

Dende bit his bottom lip and slipped his hand inside Piccolo’s pants. “What do you mean, Piccolo?”

“This is why you get spanked,” Piccolo purred, removing Dende’s hand as he pulled them both up to fly the short distance to Capsule Corps. The closer they got, however, the more Dende seemed to draw into himself. By the time they touched down on the grounds, Dende was almost shaking.

“Dende? What’s wrong?”

“For all my bluster, I am rather concerned that Vegeta will not take it well that I’m stealing you away.”

Piccolo laughed and kissed him. “Come on. You’ll see, he’ll just be his baseline level of hostile. Nothing more. He didn’t like me _that_ much or he wouldn’t have married someone else.”

Dende stopped suddenly. “Would you…have married him?”

“No, Dende. Bulma is not the reason I’m not married to Vegeta. Vegeta is the reason I’m not married to Vegeta. Come on. Let’s tear this bandaid off.”


	9. The Barbecue

Piccolo and Dende walked onto the Briefs’ beautiful patio. Vegeta was biting Goku’s head off about something, Bulla in his arms snarling at Goku, like Vegeta was training her to be unnecessarily angry about everything Goku did. But Piccolo worried when Vegeta stopped mid-rant, his head snapping to look in Piccolo’s direction. A dark smirk spread on his face. Goku kept trying to convince Vegeta of something, but he strutted toward Dende and Piccolo, his eyes sparkling.

Piccolo put his hand on Dende’s lower back. Dende’s distress was visceral, emanating from him like heat. Bulma, like a knight in shining armor called, “Piccolo! Dende! So glad you could make it! Come get some food!” and cast a look of warning in Vegeta’s direction. 

Piccolo wondered if this had been a horrible mistake. What kind of idiot brought their brand new boyfriend on a second date to a barbecue at the house of a former lover and his wife, who he occasionally had threesomes with? Piccolo grumbled silently to himself for trying, yet again, to do anything besides fight. 

Bulma greeted them both, then turned to Dende and said, “It’s so nice to see you. It’s been a while since our last catastrophe, so I haven’t had any reason to come up to the Lookout.”

Dende relaxed some and said, “Yes, it’s been a little…strange…to have things at peace for a while.”

“You guys know we fought a tournament so save our entire universe like four months ago, right?” Piccolo said, a little irritated that his boyfriend and Bulma were treating his exploits like they were pointless.

Bulma waved her hand dismissively at Piccolo and said, “Pffft, I can’t keep up with what you blood-crazed idiots do in your spare time. Dende, you can always come hang out with me when they’re off doing foolish things because of their ‘fighter’s pride’ or whatever nonsense they blame. I make a mean margarita.”

Dende chortled and glanced up at Piccolo to make sure he wasn’t offended. Piccolo's annoyance at Bulma morphed into gratitude for making his love at ease and treating them like a real couple immediately. Dende said, “And you have a standing invitation to the Lookout, as well. Mr. Popo makes an excellent cosmopolitan, if you can believe it.”

Bulma glanced Vegeta's way, frowned, and said, “Oh lord, Dende, please ignore Vegeta as much as possible. He’s like a badly trained dog about his…um…well. Ignore him.”

“Nice of you to grace us with your presence, Little Kami,” Vegeta said, his voice not quite menacing, but close enough.

Vegeta stood next to Bulma, he and Bulla with matching dark smirks. How could a baby smirk? Vegeta shouldn’t be allowed to parent full time, the girl would be an absolute terror. Bulma gave him a bright, terrifying smile of warning.

Dende seemed about to say something, but Piccolo wanted to preempt them getting into an argument immediately. Piccolo said, “Dende is his name, Vegeta. He’s not here as Kami. He’s here as my boyfriend.”

“Indeed,” Vegeta said drily and looked Dende up and down. “Take a walk with me, _Dende_.”

“You do not have to do that,” Piccolo said frantically trying to read Dende’s face, but Dende's eyes were cold, locked on Vegeta’s.

“I don’t need you to protect me, Piccolo,” Dende said, his eyes never wavering from Vegeta’s.

“Protect you? From me? I just thought we might have a little chat, I have no intention of harming you,” Vegeta said, another chilly smile spreading on his face.

Piccolo glared at Vegeta. “Vegeta…” he growled.

Dende shot him a harsh look and Piccolo withered. Dende said, “Let’s walk, Vegeta,” and he gestured for Vegeta to lead. 

Bulma said, “Give Bulla to me. Don’t be a jerk, Vegeta.”

Piccolo watched with dread as Vegeta walked next to Dende, turning to Piccolo’s diminutive lover to speak. Vegeta knew how good Piccolo’s hearing was, so all Piccolo heard, as Vegeta’s dark eyes found Piccolo’s as he glanced back, was, “Doubtless you know your foolish _boyfriend_ has come to me for counsel twice now regarding your arrangement with him…”

“I do,” Dende said, warier now that Vegeta seemed to be playing his hand much more openly.

“Then you know, that I know, without the intimate details, of course, exactly what’s going on between the two of you,” Vegeta said, moving them faster and farther away, taking Dende so there was a wall of gabbling humans and Saiyans between Piccolo and them. Piccolo had only seconds more of eavesdropping.

Dende quipped, “I would think the term _boyfriend_ left very little ambiguity about what’s going on between Piccolo and myself. And I’m not sure that you’re owed any more detail than that, Vegeta, regardless of what you _think_ you deserve.”

“I don’t _deserve_ anything from Piccolo…” Vegeta said, but Piccolo barely caught it. Gods Goku was loud, and so was Krillin, and why did Pan have to cry so much? Piccolo began to panic. What if Vegeta told Dende about the _theadur_ stuff? What if…what if…Piccolo had fucked Vegeta on and off for years, and Vegeta could be cruel, what if he just rubbed that fact in Dende’s face, tried to remind Dende that _he_ had had Piccolo first? Piccolo’s breathing sped up until he felt a soft, familiar hand on his arm.

“Breathe, Piccolo. Vegeta knows there’ll be no pussy for months if he does anything mean. I don’t know what he’s doing, because I told him specifically not to do this, but…Dende is an adult, even if Vegeta’s not, so he’ll be okay. He’s so sweet, too, he won’t let Vegeta get to him.”

“Fuck, Bulma, he’s already insecure about stuff with Vegeta, I don’t need Vegeta…bragging…or anything like that. Can’t you do something? I think I already pissed Dende off. Come to think of it, all I seem to do is piss Dende off today. Oh gods, I should have just kept being lonely.”

“Oh, come on, Piccolo, you deserve to be happy. But if Vegeta’s your only real boyfriend, yeah, you’re gonna need some personal growth to be a decent partner.”

“I was never Vegeta’s boyfriend.”

“Hmm…whatever you say. Dende will be fine. Let’s eat some food.”

Gohan came over with the same dopey smile he’d given Piccolo when he offered sex advice. Piccolo desperately hoped he wouldn’t do that at all, but certainly not in front of Bulma. She might die of a stroke laughing and possibly give away who Piccolo had threesomes with. 

“Hey, Piccolo! Where are Dende and Vegeta off to? They sure looked grim. Do you think I should go save Dende?” he asked and leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, “Are you two, you know, an item?”

“Yeah, Gohan. Gods, don’t be weird about it.”

“I still can’t believe you’re gay.”

“I still can’t believe you didn’t know I was gay.”

Bulma giggled and said, “He’s not _all_ gay.”

Piccolo shot her a look and she threw her head back and laughed harder. Gohan blinked at Bulma with a confused half-smile and said, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing, sorry, nothing. Pan sure is growing fast. Is she crawling yet?”

Gohan blinked. “She’s three months old.”

“Right. Of course.”

“Is Bulla crawling? Vegeta won’t let anyone near her. Are you sure it’s a good idea to let him…raise…her?” Gohan said.

Bulma’s face hardened and she bit out, “Say that again, Gohan, and you’ll see if a Saiyan idiot or an insulted wife and mother is stronger.”

Piccolo looked back and forth between them. He backed away as Bulma stared Gohan down. Bulma said, “You’re not going anywhere, Piccolo. Dende is fine. Leave them be. Maybe this will get the dick measuring out of their systems.”

Piccolo facepalmed. That was exactly the type of thing he did _not_ want Bulma to say in front of Gohan. Nobody besides Bulma, Vegeta, and Dende knew that Piccolo and Vegeta slept together. Piccolo just didn’t want to talk to Gohan about it. Gohan just looked confused and a little worried. He stammered, “Why are Dende and Vegeta measuring…their…um…”

Bulma’s eyes widened too. She clearly hadn’t meant to out them either. She said, “Because Vegeta dick-measures with everyone, Gohan.”

“He’s, um, he’s never done that to me, not that I’m complaining.”

Bulma narrowed her eyes and said in an amused voice, “You know that doesn’t mean literally checking the length of someone’s cock, right?”

The color of Gohan’s face defied description. There just wasn’t a shade of red _embarrassed_ enough to describe it. He said, “Oh…Yeah, that makes more sense. But then, why is Vegeta…comparing…himself to Dende at all? Like because Dende’s the only adult he’s taller than?”

A stroke was definitely in the cards for Bulma. “You are sure asking for a good beat down, Gohan, and how do you think Vegeta will respond if his _wife_ is getting attacked by you?”

Gohan held his hands up in cringing surrender as he said, “I’m not attacking you!”

“Stop saying mean shit about Vegeta!”

Piccolo wanted Vegeta and Dende to reappear. He couldn’t stand not being a part of what they were talking about. What if Vegeta was telling Dende all Piccolo’s weird bedroom tics and kinks? Oh gods. But Piccolo wouldn’t be the _same_ in bed with Dende as he would with Vegeta. Vegeta was…unique. And sleeping with a Saiyan was different.

“Stop squirming, they’re fine.”

“I know Vegeta’s fine, he’s probably happy as a pig in shit, but I’m worried about Dende.”

Gohan needed to go away. He was watching Bulma and Piccolo like he had just figured something out. His eyes went wide and he turned to Piccolo with a gaping mouth and said, “Bulma and _Vegeta_?”

“What? Yeah, they’re married to each other, did you miss that?” Piccolo said, trying to brush Gohan off.

A gigantic, pleased smile spread on his young Saiyan pupil’s face. Oh fuck. Gohan whispered, “You had an orgy with Bulma and _Vegeta_? Bulma, I get, but—“

“Excuse me, Gohan? First of all, three people having sex is not an _orgy_ , poor Videl,” Bulma shook her head sadly, “And secondly, what does that mean: ‘Bulma, I get,’ explain yourself, right this very instant, because I don't think I like what you’re implying, mister.”

“Well, I mean you obviously have, um, have sex, Bulma. There’s Yamcha and you have two kids…”

“Yes, Gohan, I have two kids with _Vegeta_ , meaning he had _sex_ with me, and trust me, man-child, Vegeta is—“

Piccolo interrupted, “Okay…Let’s all just talk about how nice the weather is. Right? Look at that sunshine—“

“Piccolo, shut up. I’m not gonna let this pup act like I’m not married to a _god—_ “

“Bulma, please, do you really want to get into this with _Son_ Gohan?”

The realization that she was speaking to Goku’s child seemed to snap her out of her indignant desire to tell Gohan just how good Vegeta was in bed.

Gohan looked at Piccolo. “What does my surname have to do with anything?”

“Nothing. How’s work, Gohan?”

Gohan seemed reluctant to let it go and said, in the static-y barely audible way he instigated telepathy, _Did you have a threesome with Bulma and Vegeta?_

_My sex life is none of your fucking business. The only reason you know I_ have _one is because of my foolish misunderstanding of Dende’s feelings_.

_I thought we were friends, why won’t you talk to me? If you’d talked me sooner, I could have told you that Dende was in love with you._

_I didn’t talk to you because I thought you two were fucking!_

_Why would I, um, do that with Dende?_ How _would I do that with Dende? He’s a boy. I know two men can love each other. And...pleasure each other._

_Gohan, honestly? You know men can have sex together, right? Use your fucking imagination._

Gohan’s eyes went wide. Unbelievable. Piccolo had been joking about Gohan’s level of naïveté, but it seemed his joke had been pretty close to the mark.

“Stop your mind-talk bullshit. I hate it when you do that with Vegeta, it’s no less annoying with Gohan.”

“You use telepathy with Vegeta?” Gohan asked, and now his eyes burned with curiosity like Piccolo was a big pile of dissertation research to be pored over.

“Yes, all the time, boy, what’s it to you?” Vegeta answered, coming up behind Piccolo and joining their awkward conversation.

Dende joined Piccolo looking thoughtful. Piccolo lightly touched Dende’s back, hoping he would be okay with the public exhibition of his love. Dende met his eyes and looked surprised, but not angry. He stepped closer to Piccolo, leaned into it. Vegeta eyed the touch, his expression inscrutable.

Gohan’s will to figure out Piccolo’s sexual history seemed to die the minute Vegeta’s voice-killing glare landed on him. Gohan managed to squeak, “I just didn’t know he…um…spoke that way to anyone else.”

“I imagine there’s quite a lot you don’t know about Piccolo,” Vegeta said, haughtily crossing his arms as Bulla clambered up to nest in his hair. Gohan’s eyes followed her and Piccolo wondered, if after years of everyone loudly or quietly proclaiming Gohan the strongest in their universe, perhaps the fact that Vegeta’s daughter was farther along than Pan was getting under his skin. Gohan glanced quickly at Pan, who was very human, and as such, still spent nearly all her time bonelessly sleeping. 

Piccolo looked at Pan fondly and wished Gohan had brought her over so he could cuddle her. Piccolo loved cuddling babies, but pride kept him from admitting it out loud. He depended on exhausted parents looking for any place to foist their infants. He realized with a little jolt that he could at last have his _own_ baby if Dende was willing. Piccolo felt eyes on him and turned back to see he had not only missed something in the conversation, but Vegeta and Dende were both examining him like an almost finished puzzle.

Piccolo said, “Uh, sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.”

Vegeta grumbled, “Perhaps you both ought to eat. Woman, didn’t you get them some food?”

“I’m not a servant, they’re grown men, they can get their own food. It’s a buffet. I made the food, isn’t that enough?”

Vegeta ground his teeth audibly. Piccolo knew Vegeta made everything, but Vegeta didn’t like people to know for some bizarre reason. Bulma was a terrible cook. Vegeta typically didn’t buy into a lot of patriarchy bullshit. He even pretended with Piccolo, which was even more unusual. Piccolo assumed it was more a “third-class-laborer” thing, and that Vegeta felt it belittled his royal blood to be seen doing something as domestic and workaday as cooking. Despite that, it always rankled Vegeta when Bulma exuberantly took credit. 

And Bulma _always_ took credit. Loudly bragging about her skills, allowing people to fawn over her talent as a chef, making up complete nonsense about how she’d come up with various recipes. All with Vegeta turning inside out to prevent an outburst that would reveal the true origin of the food. Piccolo loved watching Bulma infuriate Vegeta, he understood: Vegeta did some of his best work in bed when he was unjustifiably angry. Back when Piccolo was sleeping with Vegeta pretty regularly, he loved kicking Vegeta’s ass not for the thrill of defeating the stronger man, but because it always meant stellar sex. A lot of it.

“Piccolo, shall we?” Dende said softly, and Piccolo felt bad that he’d zoned out again. He needed to stop thinking about Vegeta.

He kept his hand softly on Dende’s back as long as he could, but then they were plating up food. He said, “What…what’d Vegeta want to talk about?”

“What do you think he wanted to talk about, Piccolo? My fashion choices?” Dende said, shaking his head and chuckling.

“No? I don’t know. I didn’t really envision you and Vegeta talking at all.”

“He wanted to talk about _you_ , of course, darling,” Dende said with a little smirk.

This was Piccolo’s worst nightmare because he could just feel Dende wasn’t going to tell him what was said. He tried to be casual, nonchalant, like he didn’t care at all, when in actuality, he felt like he might die if he didn’t get to find out, “What’d he say?”

“Darling, if he wanted you to know, he would’ve asked you along,” Dende said and gave Piccolo a look that told Piccolo he wasn’t going to put up with anymore discussion about his secret conversation.

_Vegeta!_ Piccolo shouted.

_No._ Vegeta said, a slight smirk playing on his lips as he blithely discussed Bulla’s “training” with a gaping Gohan. If questioning Vegeta’s strength and skill was a good way to get an earful, questioning Bulla’s was a surefire way to receive a well thought out treatise on all the ways she was better than every other being in the universe. Piccolo believed it too, he’d already seen the girl’s hair flickering blond.

_I haven’t even—_

_Darling, I can hear you. And I resent you trying to go behind my back to speak to Vegeta about a private conversation between the two of us._

Vegeta turned his head slightly in Piccolo’s direction and gave him the smuggest fucking smirk Piccolo had ever seen. That fucking man would put Piccolo in an early grave. Godsdamnit. He couldn’t have them working against him as a team!

_Yes,_ darling _, stop bothering me. I’m boasting about my daughter,_ Vegeta said and his eyes hardened as they turned back to Gohan.

Piccolo wanted to pout, but willed himself not to let his face fall into a big mopey frown. He looked down at Dende. “Are we…okay?”

“Do you mean you and I as a couple? Or you and Vegeta as…friends?”

“You and me, Dende. Fuck Vegeta.” Dende raised an eyebrow and scowled. Piccolo rolled his eyes and laughed. He corrected himself, “Poor phrasing. I’m not concerned about my friendship with Vegeta. I’m concerned about my relationship with you.”

“Yes, we’re okay. Are you going to eat? I hear Bulma is a very good cook,” Dende said breezily and Piccolo’s eyes widened. The little sneak had been…intruding…on Piccolo’s thoughts. Dende arched a brow at him in challenge. Vegeta seethed across the patio. Vegeta heard Dende. Dende continued to extoll Bulma’s culinary skill, smiling sweetly up at Piccolo, but the sly twinkle danced in his eyes.

Piccolo decided to play along, and chatted merrily with Dende about how Bulma was just _fantastic_ in the kitchen, and how hard she must work, running all of Capsule Corps and feeding three Saiyans, plus a fourth, since Goten rarely went home anymore. Vegeta’s silent rage rippled off him like seismic waves and Gohan tried to steer their conversation in any other direction, clearly believing he was about to send Vegeta into a Majin-Buu-type bout of explosive self-immolation, when Gohan’s words had nothing to do with Vegeta’s fury. 

Bulma joined Dende and Piccolo, taking their compliments, and wallowed dramatically in their praise. She cast a dark look over her shoulder at Vegeta. He set Bulla down and she toddled off, occasionally floating a little. Gods, Piccolo thought, Vegeta hadn’t even been exaggerating when he mentioned her training. Vegeta was training an infant. That was just like him. Piccolo smirked, thinking he could get his and Dende’s baby flying younger than Bulla.

_Piccolo, darling…think…more quietly. I’m sure_ he _can hear you too._

_I can, and if that’s a challenge, Namek, I’ll knock my wife up again and we can go head to head. My infant will outdo yours any day!_ Vegeta said, somehow managing to huff via telepathy.

_Would both of you please leave my thoughts alone!_

_Then stop broadcasting them!_ Vegeta snapped, _I certainly don’t want to hear your fears that I’ll have sex with Dende and be better than you. Good gods, Piccolo, your mind is always in the gutter._

Dende giggled beside him and pressed a hand to his mouth. This was not how this was supposed to go, Piccolo thought (much more quietly). Dende was supposed to be the uncomfortable one and Piccolo was supposed to shepherd him through…and oh gods, Piccolo _was_ patronizing. He needed to stop. Oh gods. Maybe he should just end it and save Dende the horror of trying to be with an emotional mess like Piccolo.

Dende’s hand danced up under Piccolo’s shirt and then, with a little side-eyed smirk, he pressed his fingers tight against Piccolo’s skin and slid his hand under Piccolo’s pants and onto his bare ass. And squeezed. With claws. Was he trying to…Piccolo looked down at him. Dende blinked placidly and put more claw into his grip. Pushed his fingers into Piccolo’s asscrack. Piccolo’s eyes went wide as Dende’s fingertips felt suddenly…slick.

He whispered so quietly he hoped Vegeta wouldn’t hear, because it was clear telepathy was no help. “Dende, stop it.”

"If you’re going to treat me like a child, I have to show you I’m a man. And not a very well behaved one, at that,” he said almost inaudibly and pushed a finger into Piccolo’s ass.

A squeak of surprise and horror escaped Piccolo’s lips and Bulma said, “Piccolo?”

“I’m good. Sorry. Bulla’s hair just—Ah! Oh, fuck!—sorry. Sorry. Blond. Some blond,” Piccolo babbled like a lunatic. How was Dende doing this to him? How could it possibly feel good to be fingered publicly? Piccolo’s ability to speak was fading rapidly and he dropped his voice to Namek levels, “Knock it off, Dende.” But Piccolo hated that the animal part of his mind (most of it, sadly) was shouting, _oooo, we’ve never done_ this _before. More, deeper, yes, yes, yes!_ Piccolo was getting hard.

“Are you sure? It feels like you rather enjoy it, darling,” Dende said and thrust deeper.

Dende was using his mind-reading for rather un-holy purposes.

Piccolo used his best defense and clenched his cheeks together as tightly as he could, immobilizing Dende’s hand. Piccolo whispered, “Get your hand out of my ass or you will regret it tonight.”

“What if I like the sound of that?” Dende purred.

“You are already going to regret this, don’t make it worse,” Piccolo said.

Dende could no longer move his hand without putting in some obvious effort, but it didn’t stop him from trying, and his squirming around had drawn Bulma’s notice. Piccolo’s sudden distress must also have been mentally loud because Vegeta was scrutinizing him out of the corner of his eye while he discussed potty-training with 18. A dawning realization opened up on Vegeta’s face and Piccolo thought maybe he looked…sad. Like Dende fingering his ass at a party made their separation real.

Bulma said in a low voice, “Oh for Kami’s sake, you two…we have guest rooms.”

Being discovered took the wind out of Dende’s sails immediately. He turned violet and croaked, “What?”

Bulma leaned in close to Dende and said, “You’re not the only one who has to deal with a socially awkward, misbehaving dominant idiot. But you should wash your hands before you eat,” and walked away, leaving Dende trapped in Piccolo’s ass, reeling from having Bulma discover just how deviant the Guardian of Earth could be.

Piccolo said, “If I relax…will you stop?”

“Yes,” Dende breathed.

Dende used magic to clean his hand, but Piccolo laughed when he used his other hand to eat anyway. The rest of the barbecue was much less exciting after that, though Dende and Piccolo hardly spoke a word. Their friends came and went, chatting with them, the ones that didn’t know that Piccolo and Dende were now a couple tried to find out without actually asking. Piccolo, in turn, tried to find various non-awkward ways to mention that they were dating so that people would stop bothering them. Piccolo wanted to go back to his baseline level of social awkwardness.

Piccolo felt the almost constant burn of Vegeta’s eyes on him, and he didn’t know what to make of that. That had never happened when they were fucking. What had gotten in to him? Piccolo had been with other guys. True, never for very long, but Vegeta had never been stupid like this. Occasionally a little jealous or possessive, but never…meddling. Though Piccolo supposed Vegeta knew Piccolo meant to pair-bond with Dende, and that was new.

As the sun sank lower, Piccolo bent and kissed the top of Dende’s head. It seemed to surprise his little lover, who looked up at him questioningly. “Are you almost ready to go? Do you want to stay with me tonight or go back up to the Lookout?”

“Duty compels me to return to the Lookout…will you…will you stay?”

“I’d love to,” Piccolo said without a moment’s hesitation.

Before they could escape, Goku came over scratching the back of his neck and Piccolo wished they had left five minutes earlier. “So, hey, I, uh, sorry about this morning…I didn’t know that it was…I didn’t know Nameks could even, you know. Anyway, sorry.”

Dende looked horrified, like he wanted to clarify all the things Nameks could do, but Piccolo shot him a look and said mentally, _How much detail are you prepared to divulge?_

Dende’s open mouth snapped shut.

“No problem, Goku. We still on for Yardrat tomorrow so you don’t end up popping in on us having sex again?” Piccolo said with sadistic glee. It was nice to make someone else feel more awkward than he did.

Goku turned fuchsia and wheezed out a weak little laugh. He rubbed the back of his neck even more and said, “Sure thing, Piccolo! I don’t want to do that again! With anyone. I did that to poor Goten once. I didn’t even know two boys could, you know, do it. It makes sense now though.”

Piccolo resisted the urge to facepalm that marked most of his non-fighting interactions with Goku. Piccolo said, “Yeah, maybe just teleporting to people without their permission is something you should save for emergencies.”

“It was an emergency!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we ran out of food and had to go hunt to make sure ChiChi could cook dinner on time! Trunks helped us hunt too!”

Piccolo nodded and looked at Dende. Dende said, “Nice to see you, Goku, but I have a lot of work to do tomorrow, so we have to get going.”

“Oh, sure thing! Sorry again about interrupting the sex!” Goku, of course, shouted the last part, even though Dende and Piccolo had not yet moved any farther away from him.

Piccolo took Dende’s hand and walked over to Bulma to thank her so they could leave. Most of their friends were wide-eyed and staring, obviously as curious and confused about Namek sexuality as Goku, but tactful enough not to ask. Piccolo said, “Thanks for a great party, Bulma. Your cooking really is stellar. It’s inhuman.”

Bulma glanced at Vegeta, and he smirked at Piccolo. “My woman is excellent in the kitchen, as well as other areas.”

Bulma laughed. Bulma and Vegeta didn’t touch, but Piccolo could feel the lust crackling between them. Bulma said, “Thank you both for coming. Dende, I’m glad he finally figured out what a treasure you are. You two are adorable together. Don’t let Piccolo push you around. He’s a big softy.”

Dende, seemingly emboldened by the fact that he had already been caught fingering Piccolo’s ass right in front of Bulma, smirked and said, “He’s always pretty hard with me,” and shrugged.

Vegeta snorted and said, “Not an ounce of self-control in his gigantic body. You’d think with all that meditating he does that he might manage himself l—“

“Okay, we’re not doing this! You three are not goin—“

“You can’t tell us what to talk about, Namek!” Vegeta snarled, trying to subdue his smirk.

“The fuck I can’t! I’ll wreck you, Vegeta. I’m sober, but I saw you survive your conversation with Roshi via whiskey!”

“I don’t want to talk about your dick anyway. I want you two and every other idiot to get off my property. My wife has been…insolent…all evening,” Vegeta growled, and he said the word “insolent” like it was the sexiest thing on the planet. His eyes roamed over her and she preened under his hungry glare.

Piccolo squashed Dende against his side and rocketed up to the Lookout with a little wave. Bulma wasn’t the only one who had been insolent.


	10. Insolence

_Do you see what I’m sending you_? Dende asked in Piccolo’s mind while he said out loud, “I can’t believe you were trying to keep me from talking privately with your former lover!”

_Fuck, I’m not good at telepathy and normal speaking, why can’t we just—_

“Answer me, Piccolo!”

_I see! Yes! Okay?_ he said and then out loud, “Well! You were trembling in terror when we got there! How was I supposed to know that you decided to become bold as brass! What the hell was—“

_Don’t think this means I’m not angry with you! But you said to tell you if there was something I want. I want this. I want you to play along. Don’t ruin my fantasy with your hemming and hawing and concern._ Dende said, all while also saying aloud, “Certainly if Vegeta had looked like he wanted to _fight_ me, I would understand you trying to intercept him. He was quite…genial. For Vegeta.”

_Dende…I don’t know, I feel a little—_

_Please? We can’t become atheanna right now, so why don’t we have fun?_

_Will it be?_

_You don’t think so? You never once imagined something…along these lines?_

_I feel like it’s okay for you to want this and fucked up for me to want this._ Piccolo switched back to their out loud conversation. How could he be less uncomfortable talking about Vegeta and Dende interacting than about…the other thing? Piccolo grumped, “You’re really not going to tell me what he said?”

“Why would I? It doesn't concern you,” Dende said.

“But you said it was _about_ me!”

_Yes?_ Dende asked.

Piccolo decided if he was going to play along, he might as well start now. So he didn’t answer. But then reconsidered and said, _I think…I think we need a safe word._

_What’s a safe word?_ Dende asked.

“It doesn’t matter that it was _about_ you, darling, it has no…bearing…on you.”

_Well…when you do…rough…things. or anything, really…You know how you were fingering my ass and I told you to stop?_ Piccolo was sweating from trying to follow both conversation. Dating a god was hard. Dende clearly had no trouble doing this dual-conversation and a baseline level of omniscient monitoring. He said aloud, “Fuck. I’m so uncomfortable. That motherfucker. I didn’t see that coming. Cagey fucking Saiyan. Even Bulma forbade it and he did it anyway.”

_But you didn’t actually want me to stop,_ Dende said, concern in his voice. Out loud he said, “Are you truly surprised that Vegeta didn’t kowtow to his human wife?”

“Yeah, I am, Bulma runs Vegeta.” Piccolo touched down, if they were going to do Dende’s thing, this was where they parted. _Well…I didn’t feel sexually violated, per se, just embarrassed, so yes and no. But a safe word is a way to say ‘no’ when you_ really _mean no. So if you’re…playing…and there’s begging or anything, it’s important to have…a word that you’d never use in bed except to indicate it all needs to stop. Make sense?_

_Goku,_ Dende said so suddenly Piccolo looked around for Goku.

Seeing no one else he said, _What? Where?_

Dende laughed aloud, but turned angry again and said, “Just as you expect me to tolerate you speaking privately with Vegeta, I should be granted the same, don't you think?”

_Isn’t Goku a perfect safe word? The man is like a walking sexual interruption,_ Dende said and giggled more. He stepped away from Piccolo.

_Goku it is. You say that aloud, or in my mind, and I stop. You too, okay? It’s not just a…um…sub…thing._ Piccolo couldn’t fucking believe this. Vegeta’s safe word was “Kakarot.” Why had Piccolo ever thought the barbecue was a good idea? He should have stayed lonely. Piccolo’s eyebrows furrowed. Dende’s point seemed reasonable at first blush, but it didn’t _feel_ reasonable. Piccolo said aloud, but quietly, “But Vegeta’s my best friend. You said yourself that he’s never even been nice to you before.”

“Don’t you want your boyfriend, your future _atheanna_ , to get along with your best friend?”

“Well, yeah…can I just ask one thing?”

“I won’t promise to answer,” Dende said and crossed his arms. Piccolo didn’t understand how a person so much shorter than him could feel like he was looking down on Piccolo. Piccolo sighed, Vegeta felt that way too.

Piccolo stammered, “Did…look…I’d feel really weird if he told you about sex stuff we did and I didn’t know that…” Piccolo went telepathic, _Especially if you want…this._ Piccolo hoped that after this maybe they could just speak in one way for a bit. His brain was tired.

“No, nothing at all like that. I have no idea how you and Vegeta had sex,” Dende said, sounding a little disappointed. Dende’s breath came a little faster and he continued, “I’m going off to bed. Goodnight, Piccolo.” He rose up on his toes and gave Piccolo a kiss that was not chaste, but it wasn’t…inviting…either.

He was open to Dende’s request, but he needed to get something else off his chest. “Hey, one more thing, that I think is important, and I don’t want you to take it wrong, and get all mad, so hear me out, okay?”

“Very well.”

“Who’s your best friend?”

“Gohan, of course, the poor dear, I think you scarred him tonight.”

“And do you ever…vent…to Gohan? Like, when I was oblivious? And stupid? Did you ever complain?”

“Constantly. It’s a wonder he hasn’t told me to shut up about you already,” Dende said with a little smile.

“Okay…so…it feels a little unfair that I went to Vegeta earlier today, as a friend, because I needed a friend, not a lover, not my boyfriend, not an _atheanna_ , but…a friend. And you…spied.”

“I didn’t listen to you two, I just watched,” Dende said, but Piccolo saw that he didn’t really believe his own bullshit. He mumbled, “Yes. I see your point.”

“Do you trust me not to fuck Vegeta, beautiful? I really don’t want to fuck Vegeta. I want to fuck you. But…he’s…he’s important to me. You know? I don’t want that to come between you and I, but I also…I would like to keep my best friend. Do I have to give him up to keep you? I swear there will never be anything physical between us again.”

“No, there won’t. I know that. Of course, Piccolo. I’ll respect your privacy as well. I…Our time on New Namek was wonderful, but it…overwhelmed…me. But you need to at least try to communicate with me before you go running off to him. I certainly don’t want _Vegeta_ as our marriage counselor,” Dende said with a shudder and a little smirk.

Piccolo grinned and teased, “I don’t know, he and Bulma seem like they—“

Dende punched his arm playfully and kissed him again. “Goodnight, Piccolo.”

“Goodnight, Dende.”

Piccolo watched Dende go off to his own chambers. Piccolo had rooms at the Lookout that were tacitly “his” since he stayed overnight so frequently ever since merging with Kami. He went to his room, changed into a loose fitting pair of gauzy pants and nothing else, then decided to go look at the stars for a bit. He hoped Dende wasn't still mad at him. It had all been a lot for Piccolo too. And while Dende was generally pretty competent socially and empathetic in way that meant he could understand how to help other people, Piccolo was empathetic in the sense that he often understood people were upset or angry or whatever, and he knew what those feelings felt like, but he never really knew what to _do_ about it. Piccolo never knew how to be helpful. That was one of the things that first drew him to both Vegeta and Dende, despite their opposite demeanors. Both of them were good at helping other people through their shit—Vegeta because he didn’t want to be dealing with yucky feelings all the time and Dende because he was sweet and kind and caring.

Piccolo waited until his heart had slowed down from the somewhat fraught dual-conversation they’d had after the barbecue. He got up, suppressed his chi, and crept toward Dende’s room. The door was locked, of course, so he gave it one rough shoulder nudge and it popped open. What the hell was the point of locks and wooden doors? Piccolo could have torn the door apart if the thin brass lock hadn’t given way so easily.

Piccolo’s heart thundered. Piccolo was a good sport about sex stuff. Vegeta had “saved” Bulma from him once as part of one of their more planned threesomes. Vegeta and Bulma got off on it, but it hadn’t really been Piccolo’s thing. On the other hand, he’d never wanted Bulma so much that he felt a little crazy. He did feel a little crazy about Dende. Whether Dende was asleep or feigning sleep, he didn’t know, but Piccolo needed a minute to get in the headspace, so he stood motionless in the deep shadows of Dende’s bedroom, looking at Dende’s delicate body outlined by the sheet.

Piccolo thought about Dende dancing with that fucking touchy warrior the first night. Thought about Dende giggling himself into a drunken doze, laying there in his tight little shorts. That perfect fucking ass of his. Piccolo thought about him snapping his hips against the warrior. Thought about Dende going home with the warrior. Piccolo following them, absolutely destroying the warrior to take back what was his…There. Piccolo had found it. A little jealousy went a long way for this type of thing. Piccolo was ready to play.

He padded silently to the bed and clapped his hand over Dende’s mouth. He bent low, licked up Dende’s neck and said, “If you scream, I’ll burn this place to the ground.”

Dende struggled against him and managed to escape Piccolo enough to get out of the bed. Piccolo had expected him to be naked, but this was better, he wore Earthling pajamas, a loose pair of shorts, a gi type top. Piccolo growled and lunged, pinned Dende’s hands high above his head against the wall and savaged the little Namek’s mouth. Dende whipped his head side to side, but every brush of their antennae, which Piccolo also forced, screamed, _Yes, yes, yes! Rougher!_

Piccolo knocked Dende’s knees apart, pushed his leg between them and lifted Dende off the ground by his wrists. Dende panted and tried to kick at Piccolo. His feet dangled off the floor, so he couldn’t struggle much. Piccolo thrust his hips against Dende’s, adjusted how high he held the little Namek so he could grind against Dende’s pelvis. “You’re mine, Dende. _Mine,_ ” Piccolo growled, and it made him hungrier, even saying the word. He wanted to possess Dende, no pretending required.

Dende started to shout, but Piccolo covered his mouth with his own, kissing and kissing until Dende’s mouth no longer resisted, but met him eagerly. Piccolo hissed, “Let me give you what you need, little Namek. Don’t deny me,” he rolled his hips against Dende’s hard-on, the fabric of his pajamas damp with pre-cum. “I’m going to fuck you until you beg me to stay, beg me never to leave, because no one will ever fuck you like I do, Dende.”

Piccolo ripped Dende’s top off in one smooth motion and raked his fangs down Dende’s neck, roughly shoving Dende’s chin out of the way to access the smooth flesh of his throat. Piccolo murmured, “I couldn’t stand it anymore. I need you. To have you. All of you. To fuck that virgin ass. To make you feel better than anything in your dreams ever has.”

Dende gasping cries were getting louder, so Piccolo placed his hand over Dende’s mouth again, then glanced up at Dende’s wrists and decided to add a little of his own spin. A chi ring tied both wrists to the wall. Dende’s eyes grew wide and Piccolo held them, waiting for the word. None came. He put one hand on each thigh and pushed Dende’s legs wide where he dangled and made a chi ring tether each foot to the wall, not in a split, but spread wide, spread open. 

Piccolo kept one hand on Dende’s mouth and shredded his shorts with a snort. “You think you can keep yourself from me? You think anything could save you? I’m the Demon King, I have a god inside me. But soon enough, I’ll be inside a god.”

Dende shivered a little, his hips rolling toward Piccolo involuntarily, his breath hot and fast and damp on Piccolo’s fingers over Dende’s mouth. He pushed his fingers inside Dende’s mouth and Dende sucked them, slavered over them. Piccolo purred, “That’s a good little Namek. Suck them like you’d suck my cock. Because you’re mine, and when I’m done with you, you’ll beg to taste me. You’ll beg for more than my fingers in your mouth, in your sweet ass.”

He pulled his fingers out of Dende’s mouth and Dende tried to shout something, but Piccolo roughly covered his mouth with his own. Dende kissed him savagely, his tongue more adventurous and seeking than it had ever been. Piccolo’s spit-slick fingers reached for Dende’s pucker and his other hand wrapped firmly around Dende’s cock. Piccolo made lube pour out of his palm on Dende’s cock. Dende groaned into his mouth.

He started easing his finger into Dende, but Dende brushed his antennae over Piccolo’s, _Not a virgin. Rough. Fast. Hungry._

Piccolo knew now why Dende had wanted Piccolo to relieve him of his virginity earlier. Piccolo thrust two fingers roughly inside Dende and he shivered. Piccolo improvised a little, hoping it wasn’t crossing a line: Piccolo plunged adding a third finger, but reached with his thumb to graze Dende’s _theadur._ From the whimpering moan Piccolo got in return, and no safe word, he decided to proceed with his more intense plan.

He fingered Dende hard, finding his prostate and driving against it as he worked Dende’s prick furiously, kissing him sloppily, occasionally breaking to kiss down his neck, bite over his pecs. Dende started to cry out and Piccolo took his mouth again, then grinned wickedly as he made a gag appear using his magic. He’d never done _that_ before, which was kind of surprising.

The gag did something to Piccolo, hearing Dende unable to say a word, but moaning and groaning and whining and panting, all throatier and more muffled, but no less desperate. Piccolo _liked_ that, but didn’t know how to feel about liking it. He shook his head. His mouth roamed more, and he bent lower to kiss Dende’s belly button when he realized he could probably…Yes, he could! Dende suddenly dragged up the wall when Piccolo moved the chi restraints. _That_ earned Dende’s eyes practically rolling back in his head as he groaned so long and low Piccolo thought maybe he was going to come from the new trick.

He stopped with Dende’s cock about nipple high on Piccolo, and for fun, he used Dende’s pre-cum soaked tip to swirl around each of his own nipples. Higher, excited, muffled cries, and renewed fight against the restraints. Dende struggled hard, bringing his taut little ass off the wall a bit and Piccolo pulled his fingers out suddenly, cupped that firm muscle and squeezed it, clawed it. “Your ass felt hungry to me, little Kami. I think if I push my fingers back inside you, you’re going to come. But I’m not going to let you. You aren’t coming until I say you can come, because you’re fucking _mine_.” That word did turn Piccolo into a bit of an animal.

Dende whimpered and Piccolo could feel him resisting the urge to beg via telepathy. Piccolo trailed one claw lightly up and down over Dende’s bud, and it trembled Dende was so close to his finish. Every time Dende shifted to try to get more pressure or contact, Piccolo pulled his fingertips away. Dende writhed hard, yanking at the chi restraints now, and his hunger was like an audible buzz in the room.

Piccolo moved his hand up between Dende’s legs and behind him as bucked his hips off the wall. Piccolo touched Dende’s tailbone and dragged his fingers all the way down Dende’s cleft, slower than tar, and pulsed hard on his entrance, but didn’t penetrate him at all. Now his little lover was trying to say his name around the gag. Piccolo could hear a faint plaintive chatter from Dende in his mind, but no _Goku,_ thank the gods because now Piccolo was on board.

Piccolo continued his teasing touch, but also added his thumb brushing hard over Dende’s _theadur’s_ entrance. Harder and harder as Dende’s noises became more explosive and frantic, then he pushed his thumb inside Dende's sheath and drove all three fingers deep inside his ass, right onto his prostate where Piccolo tap-tap-tapped until Dende’s noises made Piccolo think maybe he could get off from Dende’s noises alone. Piccolo growled, “Do you want to come on a real Namek warrior? Not that little bitch you let touch you in the bar, but a real one? Do you want to come all over pecs more powerful than all your muscles combined? You thought you could escape me, but you’re fucking _mine_.”

Piccolo took authoritative hold of Dende’s prick and dragged his slit over each of Piccolo’s rock hard nipples as he fingered Dende hard and fast. Piccolo didn’t know why it turned him on, perhaps his competitiveness, but he could feel Dende trying with all his might to resist the orgasm that Piccolo had primed his body to have. Piccolo pushed his thumb deeper and stroked Dende’s cock faster and rasped, “You think I can’t make you come, Dende? You think I can’t wring an amazing fucking climax out of you whether you agree or not? Did you forget already that you’re fucking mine, which means all of you is mine, which means your pleasure, every pearly drop of it, is _mine_!”

He didn’t want to hurt Dende, but his little lover uttered no safe-word, so he pushed hard on Dende’s prostate, milky fluid streaming over Piccolo’s chest and Piccolo purred, “Come on me, come now, Dende! Now!”

Dende’s whole body shuddered and went off at once. His _theadur_ started the fireworks, gripping Piccolo’s thumb and sucking it deeper, the rippling muscles inside the sheath pulling and pulling and pulling at him until it was all Piccolo could do not to absolutely ravish Dende imagining how that muscular hunger would feel on Piccolo’s prick. The _theadur’s_ swallowing grip lit the fuse on Dende’s cock and he made the most lovely whimpering, moaning, pleading noise that Piccolo had ever heard and splattered Piccolo’s chin, chest, and belly with an impressive amount of cum. Piccolo made a few of his own noises now as his lover coated him in giz. Dende’s ass at last, after freezing in a powerful contraction, started pulsing and seizing on Piccolo’s fingers and Piccolo had to will his own climax down.

Dende shook as Piccolo floated up off the floor and yanked the gag free to shove his cock in Dende’s mouth, again listening in terror for the safe word, but getting only more moans and happy slurping noises as Dende sucked him hard, his tongue as needy and aggressive as it had been in Piccolo’s mouth. Piccolo reached down and placed his big palm on Dende’s beautiful smooth head. Piccolo wasn’t a head shover, it just felt weird to him to choke someone on his cock, but…he moved Dende against him and felt the thrill of Dende’s pleasure in his mind. Piccolo purred, “That’s right, little Namek, suck my prick. That warrior will never have you. You suck my prick until I say you can stop. I never should have let him touch you like that. You’re fucking _mine._ Work my prick, Dende, gods, your mouth feels like a god’s mouth. Suck off the Demon King. Suck down his evil.”

The last line must have pleased Dende because he moaned enthusiastically around Piccolo’s dick and Piccolo saw his little lover’s exhausted cock come to life again. “Do you want my seed in your mouth, little Namek? Because the way you just gripped my fingers, you made me want to fuck you. But you came so sweetly for me, that I’ll let you suck me off if you crave the Demon King’s cum in your mouth.”

_Yes_ , came Dende’s hissed reply in his mind.

The trouble with this sort of thing, was that Piccolo never knew how far to push. He pulled his cock away suddenly and growled, “Beg for it. Beg for my dick, Dende. But then I’m going to fuck you. I don’t care how hard you make me come with that naughty mouth of yours, I’ll still be hard for you. I need to fuck you. And I think you need to get fucked.”

Dende turned his head away, clamped his mouth shut, but in Piccolo’s mind he heard, _Make me do it, fuck my mouth with your cock._

Piccolo tried to imagine doing that, but softly, almost a telepathic breath, said, _Goku_.

Dende’s eyes snapped up to Piccolo’s and looked horrified. He took Piccolo’s cock back in his mouth and in seconds they were both groaning and panting and the whispered word was forgotten. Piccolo gasped, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, do you want it? Do you want me to come in your mouth, little Namek?”

Dende moaned on his dick and Piccolo let himself go and Dende sucked harder until the sensation was so intense Piccolo had to pull away from his hot, hungry mouth. Piccolo leaned his forehead against the wall, catching his breath, and Dende made as if to speak, but Piccolo gagged him again, which made Dende shiver.

Piccolo lowered himself slowly until Dende’s face was level with his chest, Dende’s cum still drying on Piccolo’s skin, and he stroked his cock with lube. He bit and kissed over Dende’s neck and shoulders. “I might have to bite you, mark you as mine, because nobody, fucking _nobody,_ better touch you ever again. You’re mine, my mate, my lover, _mine._ And I’m going to show you, I’m going to claim you.”

A soft flutter of words smattered in Piccolo’s mind, _Not sheath? Not that, right?_

_No, not that. Not yet. Even if I would love to sink into your perfect, velvet heat,_ Piccolo growled in Dende’s mind.

Dende quivered again and groaned around the gag as his eyelids fluttered down again. He squirmed toward Piccolo. Piccolo tore Dende down off the wall in a flourish, spun him so his back was to Piccolo, and Piccolo made a soft, but tight and strong, rope knot around his wrists, holding them behind his lithe back. Piccolo wrapped his big arm around Dende, holding him back against Piccolo. He pushed Dende’s head to the side and removed the gag.

He lined his slick cock up with Dende’s opening and said, _Yeah?_ Piccolo didn’t feel comfortable without explicit consent in the context of their game.

_Fuck yes, Piccolo. Please!_

Piccolo drove into Dende, making Dende cry out, the whole reason Piccolo had removed his gag, but now Piccolo curled down and twisted to kiss Dende roughly as he slammed his hips against Dende’s perfect little glutes, reaching deep inside him with each thrust, shifting his angle until he felt Dende shudder. A whimper of pleasure escaped Dende into Piccolo’s mouth. Piccolo used his other hand to hold Dende’s prick, stroking him in time with Piccolo’s increasingly vicious thrusts.

Dende hadn’t been kidding when he said he wanted it rough. Piccolo kept expecting to hear the safe-word, but all he heard were Dende’s increasingly frantic moans of pleasure, the wet sound of their kissing, the firm smack of their flesh coming together, and plenty of unwittingly broadcast thoughts that amounted to: _it’s better than I imagined_. 

Piccolo tried to take that as a compliment, but wondered if he had just opened a door to BDSM that maybe he didn’t want to walk through. Piccolo would never have predicted sweet, thoughtful Dende would want to be tied up, bossed around, and dominated, but Piccolo supposed those things came pretty naturally to him. It felt easier to slap Vegeta around and tie him up because Vegeta so often _deserved_ to be slapped around. It was harder to slap someone around who would probably listen to the most gentle commands.

_Not in bed…_ Came Dende’s chiding voice with a little internal chuckle.

_Stop eavesdropping on my brain! It’s cheating!_

_You’re thinking loudly again, darling_ , Dende said, but then his mind spiraled out of conscious thought as Piccolo removed his hand from Dende’s cock and slapped his ass hard. Really hard. The flash of pain in Dende’s mind was bright and stunning as it reverberated in Piccolo’s mind. At this point, Piccolo wasn’t _that_ surprised that Dende came hard in response to the slap. Piccolo switched his grip and smacked the other cheek with vigor and Dende collapsed harder into his climax, screaming Piccolo’s name so loudly, he hastily covered Dende’s mouth not as part of their game, but so Mr. Popo wouldn’t hear.

Piccolo kept fucking Dende until the sublime grip and release of Dende’s ass on his cock pushed him over the edge. Piccolo bit Dende’s shoulder as he curled down over his small body, bucking up against him with his final few thrusts. Piccolo didn’t set Dende down, because he wanted to stay inside him a moment longer, so he carried him over to the bed, his fangs still deep in Dende’s shoulder muscle, and set Dende on the bed.

That allowed Piccolo to grip Dende’s hips with both hands and take a little more from him, Dende moaning and pushing back against Piccolo. Dende snapped his hands out of the restraint, and reached over his head to clutch at Piccolo, running his fingertips over Piccolo's antennae in maddening fashion. Piccolo squeezed his lithe lover and pulled his teeth out of him. He began to kiss more softly over Dende’s shoulders, sucking his ears, kissing his jaw as Piccolo leaned over him.

Piccolo grinned as Dende leaned into the affection, relaxing in Piccolo’s grip. Piccolo murmured, “Can I be nice to you yet?”

Dende craned his head back to look up at Piccolo with a sex-drunk smile. “If you must,” he said with a little giggle.

Piccolo chuckled and kissed Dende roughly, rolling his hips against Dende’s ass. He growled, “Maybe at least between orgasms I can be allowed to express affection?”

“You surprise me, Piccolo. I knew you had a soft squishy interior, but the extent of how…sensitive…you are, surprises me.”

“I’m not squishy!” Piccolo protested and took his dick out of Dende in solidarity with his ego, but also so they could lie down and cuddle.

“You are too. No wonder Vegeta wanted to speak to me.”

“If you aren’t going to tell me what he said, stop rubbing it in my face!” Piccolo growled and rolled away from Dende, faced the edge of the bed instead of his lover’s back.

Dende spooned him and crooned, “Oh, don’t start whining about that again.”

“Then stop bringing it up!” Piccolo said.

“Stop thinking about him!” Dende countered, but he was smiling.

“That’s not how thinking works!” Piccolo said flipping over again and he pushed Dende onto his back. He pinned Dende’s hands next to his head. “Did he even talk to you? Or did you plan this all as a secret way to piss me off so much I fuck you rough and angry?”

Dende’s breathing was fast, his cheeks flushed, and he grinned. Piccolo knocked his legs apart and crawled between them. “Damnit, Dende, you’re so fucking irresistible,” and Piccolo drove into Dende’s tight heat. Piccolo was irritated at himself that he was hard again, irritated that this was exactly what Dende wanted even though Piccolo didn’t want to be turned on by this.

“That’s not how being turned on works, darling,” Dende gasped, and wrapped his legs around Piccolo’s waist.

“You are a snoop, little Kami! I should tell the Lord of Lords that you are using your fucking omniscience and mind-reading skills for evil!”

Dende’s eyelids lowered and he gave Piccolo a little smirk, clenching his asshole very deliberately on Piccolo’s thrusts. He murmured, “I am certainly using them to _do_ evil, if we’re going with the narrative of you being the evil Demon King.”

“Damnit, Dende!” Piccolo huffed and kissed Dende to shut him up, pounding into him hard.

He reached down to slap Dende’s ass again, the poor man would have bruises in the morning, and when Dende didn’t cry out, he smacked Dende harder. He got a tiny squeak, but not a real cry, even though Dende’s twitching asshole and pre-cum production suggested that Dende liked it. When Piccolo looked up at his face, he could see from the smile that was trying to erupt on his little lover’s face, that Dende was trying to goad him. Successfully goading him.

Piccolo flipped Dende over and put him on his hands and knees. Now he could really make an impression on Dende’s perfect little ass as he fucked him. Piccolo tried not to laugh as Dende sent him a pretty constant stream of loving affection telepathically, all sweetness and tenderness, while gasping and groaning into Piccolo’s strikes and deep, hard thrusts.

Dende started to come and he cast a glance over his shoulder and Piccolo felt the hot, intense bloom of _Dende’s_ orgasm inside himself. Piccolo lost it immediately—it was hot to feel how much pleasure he brought his mate. Piccolo’s abs pulled tight as he hissed, “Fuck, Dende, fuck, fuck, fuck,” and spent himself deep inside his love.

Piccolo pulled out and laid back on the bed, gasping for breath and reeling from possibly the most tiring day of his entire life. None of his battles had ever exhausted him like this. Even though much of it had been incredible, Piccolo couldn’t stop the nattering voice in the back of his mind about the secret conversation between the only two men he’d ever loved.

Dende cleaned them both up, letting Piccolo be still, undoubtedly because Piccolo didn’t even have the energy to think and feel quietly. It was sloppy and loud, like Piccolo’s brain was so tired it was drunk, staggering around and shouting every single thing that flitted through it. Dende chuckled from his bathroom and returned to Piccolo.

“Would you like your pants back on, darling?”

“No.”

“Don’t be mad,” Dende said, sitting by Piccolo’s hip.

“I’m not even a little mad, Dende. Though I’m not a half-bad actor, huh?” Piccolo said, smirking.

“I liked your improvisations,” Dende said, trailing his claws over Piccolo’s nipples before examining his own wrists for marks from the restraints.

“Your fantasies are a lot more detailed than mine,” Piccolo said and ran his hands over Dende’s thighs.

“Well, I’ve had a lot of years of tuning them up,” he said and giggled as he bent to kiss Piccolo, “Whereas you have been getting laid almost that whole time.”

“That is not true. Vegeta’s like a wild beast, he comes into heat and then you better buckle up, then he disappears again into his vast territory. I’m just the only mate he can find when he’s like that because we share a basic level of malevolence and antisociability.”

Dende laughed hard at that and slapped Piccolo’s pec lightly. He straddled Piccolo and bent to kiss him. “Thank you for humoring me, darling, that was better than any fantasy I’ve ever had.”

Piccolo worried about what he was about to say, but Dende had probably already heard his blathering brain anyway. “Yeah, I, um, I had fun, obviously…but we don’t…we don’t always have to be that way, do we?”

Dende kissed him tenderly, caressed his face. “No, of course not. You get to have your fantasies too, you know.”

Piccolo’s eyes roved over Dende’s svelte body and found his face, his dark, sparkling eyes, and he said, sincere, but knowing it sounded cheesy, “Being with you is my fantasy.”

Dende’s shy smile and blush warmed Piccolo’s heart. He pulled Dende down into his arms. He brushed his antennae over Dende’s. Dende prolonged it and poured his love into Piccolo, his frustration too, but understanding and affection. Piccolo sent nothing, he was too tired, he only accepted what Dende gave him. Or so he thought.

“You really can’t stop worrying about it, no matter what I say, can you?”

Piccolo ran a hand over his face. “I’ll be fine, Dende. Let’s get some sleep.”

“If it matters so much, I can show you…” Dende said, staring into Piccolo’s eyes.

Piccolo searched them. Maybe Dende was right, Piccolo might not be able to ever fully shut his mind up. Or at least not without a lot of meditating. And he had to see Vegeta the next morning. The last thing he wanted was that smug bastard lording the conversation over him.

Dende giggled. “Come here, you ridiculous man. Your obliviousness is even more impressive than I thought.”


	11. A Good Conversation

Dende clutched the back of Piccolo’s skull, pushed their foreheads together, and opened his mind. Piccolo was suddenly back at Capsule Corps, but he was Dende, not himself.

* * *

“I don’t _deserve_ anything from Piccolo…” Vegeta said, “And if he keeps coming to see me because you’re upsetting him, it won’t matter if you _deserve_ anything either, Dende, because I will fucking end you.”

Dende stumbled. This wasn’t what he expected. He tried to breathe evenly. “What?”

“You think because you’ve fucking pined for him for years that he somehow owes you something. He doesn’t. You could have approached him. You want to be treated like a man, act like a fucking man. But don’t treat him like your failings are his, because he’ll believe you.”

“I don’t understand—“

Vegeta stopped. They were alone now, in the big garden behind Capsule Corps and Dende knew that Piccolo would be no help to him here. Perhaps he’d been flippant in saying he didn’t need protection. Vegeta felt…furious. Wounded. Like a cornered, injured animal.

Vegeta snarled, “No, you don’t understand. You’ve been so focused on you and your godsdamned unrequited love that you are treating him poorly. And I’m telling you to fucking stop. He’s had years of that, and I thought you’d do better.”

“What do you mean? I haven’t been treating him—“

“You think you were the only one who had intense feelings on New Namek? You think just because you were upset it was fine to give him the silent treatment and act as if nothing happened? I mean it, Dende, I don’t care if you’re a fucking god, you can’t treat him like that again. I made peace with…with…with…” Vegeta trailed off into an animal growl, his fists clenching so hard his knuckles turned white.

Dende gaped. Vegeta’s eyes were filling. He searched the ground and breathed fast, blinking and silent. When he looked up again, Dende took a step away from him. Dende found Vegeta intimidating no matter what, but the look in his glassy eyes as they snapped up terrified Dende. It was all he could do to keep from trembling.

Vegeta’s voice was low and menacing, “Piccolo isn’t the macho tough guy you think he is. And if you don’t love him for what he actually _is_ , a soft, sweet, gentle, sensitive fool, then you better fucking let him go now. I won’t tolerate any more of you jerking him around.”

“He’s the one who took me on that first absurd—“

“To try to find you a mate, you selfish brat! He didn’t know you loved him, or at least think you do. That night was terrible for him. He wanted to do something nice. You treated him like garbage all because you were too cowardly to ask him out. Do you think just because he’s fucking _tall_ he has to be the instigator? Even if he had been fucking Gohan—which is just fucking ridiculous, how were you both that stupid?—but even if he were, if you felt that strongly, you should have said something, especially after Gohan wed.”

Dende didn’t even know what to say. Vegeta’s words stung. They were true. Why was Vegeta, of all people, making sense about treating another person well? “I…yes. I should have. I see that,” Dende muttered.

“Good. You do understand that he’s sensitive? Eager to please? Loving? Because I haven’t seen you treat him that way,” Vegeta said, crossing his arms tightly.

“As if you do!”

“Of course I don’t, you moron! But I’m an asshole, Dende. And…and I knew I couldn’t…be…what he needed. Even if I wanted it. But I’m selfish enough that I will murder _you_ if you keep hurting him. He was broken this morning and all he could talk about was how horrible _he_ was. That happens again, and we’ll see if you’re actually immortal when I turn you to ash as many times as it takes,” Vegeta growled and the scary fire was back in his eyes.

Dende said, still wounded that Vegeta had a point, “Vegeta, I don’t think you need to be so—“

Vegeta cut him off, stepped back into his space, “Yes, I do. You are already taking his love for granted. And he’ll let you. He’ll love you anyway. So fucking stop it. And don’t you breathe a word of this to him. Be a fucking man, Dende, and I don’t mean like the stupid Earthlings. I mean be good to him. Treat him well. You will get all that and more in return from him.”

Dende stood staring at Vegeta. Dende said, “So…you wanted to talk to me alone to tell me to be nice to my boyfriend?”

“You seemed unclear on what that meant,” Vegeta said with a snide little smirk.

“You’ve had a very one-sided story, Vegeta.”

“Don’t argue with me, boy. Piccolo is honest to a fault about his failings. He told me all the ways he fucked up. I didn’t say he wasn’t a bumbling fool and inadvertently an asshole. But people—the few that think they know us—people who know Piccolo and myself, they assume we are the same. We’re not. He’s fragile. He hungers for love and a family and someone to care for, to love in return. I’m a fucking monster, impervious and unbreakable, who stumbled into those things and more, but I never deserved him. Or Bulma. But no one gets what they deserve in this life. And you better stop acting like you _deserve_ whatever you think you _deserve_ because so far it has pissed me off. He’ll never ask you to change or treat him differently because he’s lost for you, but _I_ will, because I don't give a shit about you. I very much give a shit about Piccolo—”

Dende felt a surge of redemption. It was about jealousy. He said, “I love Piccolo, Vegeta. I think you’re just jealous—“

Vegeta barked out a wicked laugh and hissed, “Of course I am, you nitwit. But that doesn’t mean I don't feel very protective of him. Do better.”

“I’ll do my best—“ Dende said, off-kilter again at Vegeta’s honesty.

Vegeta cut him off again, “It better be a hell of a lot better than what I’ve seen so far.”

“You’re biased against me. You’ve never liked me, Vegeta.”

“If you love him, you would just agree that you want the best for him. That was all he was concerned with about your nonsense this morning: not his own heartbreak, but how he’d hurt you and what he could do to do better. And you’re right, I have never liked you. In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t like _anyone_ except Piccolo and Bulma. _No one_ else. So imagine all my Saiyan-strength fury and protectiveness balancing precariously on those two people’s happiness. Remember that when you think about having another pointless snit.”

“Very well, Vegeta. Is that all? Have you chastised me sufficiently? May I return to my mate?”

Vegeta jabbed a finger in Dende’s face as he snarled, “You better be his fucking mate. He wants a family, and if you aren’t prepared to give it to him, walk away. He’s waited long enough for that too.”

“Hmm, I wonder what kept him from seeking it sooner?” Dende said, despite knowing how foolish it was to try to get under Vegeta’s skin. How dangerous.

Vegeta rolled his eyes and said, “As I’ve mentioned numerous times, I make no claim that _I_ was good for him, or a good lover, or worthy of his affection, and had he let me, I would have filled him with little Namek babies, but he didn’t. But he still wants that. And if you don’t, and I find out you weren’t honest, I will end you. I’m like a food critic, Dende, I don’t have to be a good cook to know shitty food when I taste it. Treat him well or you will answer to me.”

Dende blinked. It turned Dende on a little that Piccolo had left this ferocious, passionate, jackal of a man to come to Dende. That someone loved Piccolo so fiercely and still Piccolo chose Dende. “Yes. Okay. Of course.”

Vegeta snorted and looked Dende up and down. Then a smirk crept onto his face as he said more gently, “If you’d brought yourself to his notice sooner, you wouldn’t have so much pent up bitterness.”

“I’m not bitter, Vegeta!” Dende protested.

“Tch. Well, I see now you’re at least willing to set his imagination going. Are you going to be a drag in bed? Because Piccolo’s fun in bed. Don’t let that go to waste. I will say no more though, because it would horrify him. I can feel him stressing about it right now. His whole will is bent toward making me not say anything about our sex life.”

“I…I don’t know if I can live up to _you_ in that regard, Vegeta,” Dende said, and he realized he had secretly hoped that Vegeta was going to give him sex tips during their little heart to heart.

Vegeta sighed and said, “Dende, good sex is like a conversation. You go back and forth, and some of them are just that…but sometimes you really learn something about the other person. You really get to know them, and then the next time you talk that way, you know them better, you feel closer to them. And so on. But you can’t have a good conversation if you don’t listen. You can’t have a good conversation if you aren’t honest. If you discourage the other person from being honest.”

“That’s actually quite eloquent, Vegeta,” Dende said, startled to hear such a romantic description of physical love from such a grouchy killing-machine.

“Oh, yes, I’m well known for the poetry of my rants. Good gods, let’s get back to the party. I can’t wait to show off Bulla’s achievements to that snotty half-breed and his whelp.”

“Are you own children not demi-Saiyans as well?” Dende said, his urge to poke Vegeta returning.

Vegeta’s eyes slid in his direction as they walked and he smirked. Dende abused his powers a little and felt that Vegeta almost liked that Dende kept picking at him. Vegeta liked the brazen stupidity of goading one of the strongest beings in the universe. Vegeta laughed and said, “Ha, you have me there, little Kami, but mine are born of good stock on both sides. Bulma is a queen among humans.”

“Is she the reason you didn’t…mate…with Piccolo?”

Vegeta’s face crumpled. He swallowed audibly before he answered, “No, I offered myself to him. But he is…too gentle…for me. And I’m tempestuous. Unkind. Prone to abusing my power. Bulma lives for that shit, lives for domestic battle, but not Piccolo. Piccolo won’t do things he doesn’t want to do, but he’ll feel bad about not doing them, for letting you down. I’m eternally grateful that he knew his own mind well enough to reject me, though I certainly didn’t take it well at the time. And made him suffer for it. But I would have ruined him, if he’d taken me. Instead Bulma has done her best to domesticate me. It’s a losing battle, of course, but the woman is tireless. She made me better for him.”

Dende watched Vegeta as they ambled back to the party. His eyes were far away, obviously somewhere in the past, and he was good at shielding his thoughts now that he’d caught Dende snooping. Dende couldn’t even peek through a chink in the wall. “She truly doesn’t mind you being with him? When did you ask him to be your mate?”

Vegeta’s growling chuckle sounded a little sad to Dende. Dende felt the first pang of sorrow for Piccolo, rather than pride for himself. Piccolo seemed to truly hold a special place in Vegeta's hard, acidic heart, and yet Piccolo thought of himself as more of a sex-toy for Vegeta.

Vegeta said, “That’s how Trunks came to be. I was very angry. Hurt. Miserable. He didn’t end things, he just said he didn’t think it would be a good idea for us to mate. So I seduced Bulma when she was in heat to punish him. He took it like he takes everything terrible, with a belief that he caused it, that he deserved it. He didn’t. I was an ass. Am an ass. To both him and Bulma. After Cell…well, after what I’d done to Bulma and Trunks, my callow behavior that almost got her and my son killed…Piccolo is the one who set me straight. He's the reason I have her. That I have my Bulma and my boy and my perfect Bulla. And no, Bulma's never minded. After the Buu fiasco, he and I decided that…that I should dedicate myself to her more fully. She loves him too, and if you think I’m scary, piss Bulma off and see what happens.”

Dende said before he could stop himself, “It’s funny, I don’t think he has a clue you love him. Perhaps he truly can’t understand _anyone_ loving him.”

“No, he can’t. The big green dope,” Vegeta said with a surprisingly soft smile.

“He calls you his best friend.”

“And I’m honored by the title.”

“Is he yours?”

“Absolutely,” Vegeta said, looking affronted.

“Does he know that?”

“Yes. He and I understand each other, even if he can’t admit to himself that I love him fiercely. He loves you, Dende, and has no idea how to do it properly. I’m the only training he’s had. Be patient. Be kind. Love him well or die,” Vegeta said the last part in an extremely low whisper even though they were still very far from Piccolo. Vegeta probably knew down to the inch and the decibel how to keep Piccolo from hearing them. 

Dende struggled with whether to feel indignant or touched by the conversation. Or just jealous that someone else had had Piccolo’s love. Loved Piccolo back. Dende’s stomach twisted into an angry, overwhelmed knot, but it was his nature to carefully consider things, so he let the things Vegeta had said roll over in his mind. He saw Piccolo’s face as they approached. Piccolo hadn’t seen them, but Dende could feel the worry and stress ricocheting around in Piccolo’s mind, and all of it, every single thought circled Dende, not Vegeta: _I hope he’s okay. I hope he still loves me. I hope he isn't mad. I love him so much. I hope Vegeta doesn’t tell him what a mess I am. I need to be better. I need to keep him happy. How can I make him happy? What if he doesn’t want me after he speaks to Vegeta? How will I survive if he leaves me?_

* * *

Piccolo pulled his forehead away from Dende and kissed him, though Piccolo kept his eyes closed. Dende thought hearing Vegeta’s words was what Piccolo was interested in, but it wasn’t. Hearing Dende’s responses, feeling what Dende felt, seeing his reactions: that was what interested Piccolo. Piccolo appreciated that Dende hadn’t filtered that out. He could have, but he let Piccolo have the entire interaction, jealous warts and all.

Dende whispered, “I thought he’d just…tell me he’d had you first, that you’d always be his first. I thought he’d…brag.”

Piccolo wanted to cry, but he didn’t because he knew Dende would misinterpret that as grief over not being with Vegeta. But that wasn’t it: Piccolo was only touched that Vegeta had tried, in his probably misguided way, to keep Piccolo safe. The one compulsion Vegeta fulfilled without bitterness, with zeal even: protecting those he loved, even if he hurt them too. And it was true: Piccolo didn't know that Vegeta loved him. Piccolo thought maybe he had once, but it shocked him to hear Vegeta speak about him that way still, all these years later. Like Piccolo was worthy of love and care and protection.

Piccolo finally felt like he could speak without being overcome, “Yeah, I thought he might…give you sex tips or worse, just tell you…stories. So. Um. Well. Sorry. Sorry I hassled you about it, Dende. I think…fuck…I think I should come clean about why I was really worried because I can’t stop being anxious about it. I want to make sure you’re okay with it.”

“Did he fuck your _theadur_?” Dende said, and it didn’t sound like a question.

“No. Luckily we were sensible enough to know that would probably end with me pregnant. But he has touched it. A fair bit,” Piccolo said, his palms sweating and his heart thundering unevenly.

“Oh, yes, I suspected. You were quite…skilled,” Dende said with a little flush. Piccolo thought it was hilarious that Dende could communicate his desire to have Piccolo role-play a rough sexual attack, but blushed mentioning Piccolo being half-decent in bed.

“Is that okay with you? That I’m not, I dunno, pure? I didn’t know until I’d merged with Nail that Nameks consider it sacred. The ship had long since sailed by then. And I won’t lie and pretend we stopped.”

Dende said, “No, I, uh, I don’t think I’d stop either. It’s fine, Piccolo. I can’t hold your sexual history against you, much as I might wish I had entered it sooner. Vegeta was right, of course, which is why I was so angry. I should have come to you sooner.”

Piccolo raised an eyebrow at Dende. He smirked and said, “You sure you can’t? It feels a little like you _can_ hold my sexual history against me. But I wish you wouldn’t.”

Dende growled and kissed Piccolo fiercely. “Darling, I think Vegeta was right. I think you’re sensitive.”

“Could we not talk about Vegeta anymore?” Piccolo said and flipped Dende onto his back again, kissing him, some of Piccolo’s exhaustion falling away with the relief that Vegeta at least hadn’t been taunting his little mate. Just threatening to murder him. That was as good as it got with Vegeta.

“Mmm…you’ll have to find some way to distract me,” Dende purred and wrapped his arms around Piccolo’s neck.

“Well…you said I get to have my fantasies too…” Piccolo whispered, fully awake now.

“Oh? I thought yours weren’t very detailed?” Dende said and wrapped his small, soft-skinned fingers around Piccolo’s cock, bringing it back to life with only a few delicate strokes.

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t have them at all, beautiful. It’s pretty hard not to think about you all the time. Not tonight, but one of these days, I’m going to fuck you with you wearing nothing but those impossible boots,” Piccolo whispered, and kissed along Dende’s jawline.

Dende moved to try to brush his antennae across Piccolo’s but Piccolo pulled back. Dende furrowed his brow and said, “Darling?”

Piccolo’s stomach dropped. He knew that Dende cared for him, and was turned on by him, but he wondered if Dende would want this. It felt vulnerable to show Dende his fantasy, though he didn’t know why, given all he’d just done to fulfill Dende’s fantasy. Maybe because Piccolo was used to Vegeta, who topped Piccolo hungrily, despite most of Piccolo’s partners assuming, because of his size and stature and gruff nature, that he would just top them. It had been refreshing to have tiny little Vegeta just ask to fuck him like he wasn’t a hulking beast.

Dende eyelids fell down a little and he guided Piccolo into a sitting position. He rose up on his knees to be taller than Piccolo and used the lightest touch of his tongue to circle the bulb of Piccolo’s antenna. Piccolo shivered with pleasure and gripped Dende’s narrow hips. Piccolo’s hands were so big and Dende was so slender that he could touch his fingertips together on Dende’s tailbone

Piccolo growled, “You need to stop that, Dende,” and he squeezed his little lover tighter.

“Why don’t you want to share your fantasy with me, darling?” Dende murmured and sucked Piccolo’s other antenna gently enough that Piccolo didn’t come, but hard enough that it was a near thing. His abs flexed and the heat in his belly bloomed.

“Because I don’t think you’ll want to do it,” Piccolo said, barely able to keep his voice steady.

Dende pulled away, his face worried. “Piccolo, did you have fun with my fantasy?”

“Yeah, of course, a lot. I like doing anything with you.”

“Well, almost, you had to use the word,” Dende said, his eyes searching Piccolo’s.

“You can’t hold it over my head or it’s not really a safe-word,” Piccolo said, feeling surprisingly hurt by Dende bringing it up. But it was his fault for making assumptions. He and Vegeta had an unspoken rule that you didn’t bring up the thing that required the use of the safe-word. Piccolo felt like a failure: three days in and he was already disappointing his mate. Piccolo kissed Dende lightly, a good night kiss. Piccolo flopped onto his belly, wanting to escape to unconsciousness. Vegeta was right, Piccolo was too sensitive.

Dende curled alongside him, but Piccolo kept his head facing away. He wished he’d gone right to sleep after they had sex. He shouldn’t have pressed Dende about his conversation with Vegeta. That was making him feel weird too. Piccolo wanted to protect Dende from Vegeta, which Dende didn’t need or want, but somehow Vegeta thought Piccolo needed protecting too? Piccolo sighed and pushed his face into the bed more. He hated being weak. Needy.

Dende said, “I didn’t mean it like that, Piccolo. I just meant that it was perhaps outside your comfort zone, what we did?” He caressed Piccolo’s back, dragging his claws over the corduroy ridges.

Piccolo grumbled, not turning around, “No, I’ve done that sort of thing before. Obviously I _can_ get into it. But I don’t like what you wanted when I said the word.”

“That’s fine, Piccolo, I’m not upset. Aren’t we each allowed our preferences? Please be patient as I discover mine. I’ve never tried anything but what I’m doing with you. I assume you know you don’t like that because you’ve tried it?”

Piccolo nodded, a memory coming back, and he pushed it away. He certainly didn’t need _bad_ memories of Vegeta tonight. He struggled enough with the neutral and the good. “Can we go to sleep, Dende? I’m tired.”

“Piccolo, I don’t want sex between us to be only about me. And I’ve asked a lot from you. I haven’t given much back because I feel…inadequate…not because I don’t want to do as you desire. Can’t you let me give you something back, darling?”

Piccolo sighed. How could the inside of his brain feel so raw? He turned his head back toward Dende, their antennae brushing together immediately, unintentionally. Dende’s breath caught and Piccolo withered. He felt vulnerable having given Dende the knowledge without really preparing. His impulse was to flee. The mention of the safe-word already made Piccolo feel weak and shitty in bed, this made him feel even worse. There was something to be said for one partner aggressively taking the reins—it meant there was less uncertainty. Less vulnerability.

Piccolo started to get up, needing some air or he was going to make an even bigger fool of himself. As he stood, Dende yanked him backward, and Piccolo fell on the bed. Dende kissed him hard when he tried to speak and murmured, “Don’t make assumptions about me, Piccolo. Look where that got us before. We both ought to stop. Even though I’m nervous, I want this too, I’ve fantasized about it too. And you’re very tall, it may take…some adjusting.”

A little surge of relief and confidence pulsed through Piccolo’s veins. Piccolo bumped his forehead to Dende’s and said in a dramatic whisper, “Dende, even if I have no other skills in bed, I do know how to get fucked by someone short.” He couldn’t help his grin, broad enough that he could feel his fangs showing.

Dende giggled. “Piccolo, I’m short even compared to Vegeta.”

“Nobody’s short compared to Vegeta. Besides, you’re all the same size to me down there, so far away,” Piccolo teased, earning a little growling lip nibble from Dende, but also another bout of laughter.

“I may need a little coaching…” Dende said leaning back so he could look in Piccolo’s eyes.

Piccolo kissed Dende more thoroughly, the relief at Dende’s acceptance making him hard again, achy to have this with Dende. He caressed Dende’s beautiful face, his skin a pretty turquoise under the moonlight pouring in the large windows. He pressed his lips to Dende’s, looking in his eyes, and Dende seemed to implicitly understand what Piccolo needed.

Dende’s tongue slipped hungrily into Piccolo’s mouth, teased his tongue, danced along his fangs. Dende’s mouth and body took control. He forced Piccolo’s mouth open more, to kiss him more deeply, and his lips pulled at Piccolo’s. Dende shifted, sucked on Piccolo’s ear, and rasped, “Did I give you ideas at the barbecue? Did you like that?”

Piccolo wrested control back, pinned Dende’s hands, and crawled above him. “No! My body liked that, but _I_ did not. Don’t do that again.”

“It’s hard to keep my hands off you…” Dende pouted, but it was fake, Piccolo could see his grin fighting to surface.

“It shouldn’t be hard to keep them _out_ of me. And no, I didn’t need any ideas. Since you were a virgin, I assumed we would be doing this for a while before I ever got to fuck you. But you showed me. Your ass is advanced, beautiful, very gifted. Straight to seven-foot-tall proportionally large Namek cock. I still want this though, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Gods, Piccolo, I love your cock,” Dende purred, wriggling his hand free to stroke Piccolo. “But,” he paused to slither out from under Piccolo and crawl behind him, “Your ass is also amazing. And I would love to fuck you.”

Piccolo wanted it like this, doggy-style, but Dende was right, he was very short, and Piccolo’s thighs were long. But Vegeta trained him to accommodate the vertically challenged. He pushed his knees out wider until his ass was the right height for Dende, who without a word slipped a slick finger inside Piccolo.

“Fuck, Dende!” Piccolo said, startled.

“Sorry!”

“No, it’s fine, but a little…play…is nice first. Next time. If you want,” Piccolo said, and felt shitty again. He didn’t want to start off chastising Dende. This was a mistake. Piccolo needed to be less needy.

“You’re not needy for wanting to get fucked _well_ , darling,” Dende said softly, kissing each of Piccolo’s cheeks, biting a little, scratching the outside of Piccolo’s thigh with his free hand.

“Stop eavesdropping on my brain, Dende, I’m too tired to shield my thoughts,” Piccolo said, panting already despite his embarrassment. Piccolo leaned into the fangs, the claws. Leaned into the tentative thrusts from Dende’s delicate finger. Dende’s other hand roamed over Piccolo’s back and hip and thigh. More bites, harder bites, and Dende slid a second finger alongside the first, more tenderly this time.

Dende said, “You don’t like it rough, do you, darling?”

“I do sometimes. Not all the time. Not right now. It depends. I wish you’d stop mind-reading while we’re fucking.”

“I’m trying to do things right for you. It’s easier to just…listen. I’m not trying to violate you, I just know you well enough to know you’re reluctant to tell me what you want. You seem especially fragile after…everything.”

“Couldn’t you listen to my body? It feels unfair that you can do that when I can’t. I want to do things right for you too, Dende,” Piccolo said, but it was hard to argue with results: Dende’s small hand learned as fast as the rest of him.

“I can let you in completely, I let you mostly in while you gave me my fantasy. I wasn’t sure if it would overwhelm you if I opened my mind completely, since I have more…tolerance…for the noise from being Kami. But there’s nothing in my mind I’d hide from you,” Dende said, a third finger joining at just the right moment. Piccolo thought even if it wasn’t playing fair, Dende was at least heeding what Piccolo’s mind whispered.

“I’m not hiding things from you. I just…It’s kind of a mess in there,” Piccolo said, unable to think of a better description.

“It is not, Piccolo. All minds are like this, a flurry of thoughts and feelings and sensations and desires and needs. I like it. It feels intimate when you let me in, especially while we’re doing this. And I’ll do the same for you. Let you in. Let you feel the mess.”

“Okay…if…Won’t it ruin it for you?” Speaking was rapidly becoming a trial. Piccolo was coming around to Dende’s mental snooping. He couldn’t argue with results.

“Not at all. I feel how you yearn for my prick in you. I _like_ that. I like feeling how that feels for you. It’s different than my own yearning. It’s sexy. This is how Nameks love one another, not just the gods, but all of us,” Dende whispered and gasped as he pushed deeper inside Piccolo, found Piccolo’s p-spot. “Oh, this is how you make such magic inside me?”

Piccolo nodded. Dende brushed his fingers over it with a little more pressure. Piccolo gave a breathy cry as he pushed back toward Dende’s hand. Dende murmured, his mouth back on Piccolo’s skin, a delightful amount of fang grazing his skin. He bit each cheek hard. Piccolo gasped out, “Please, beautiful, I…now. I need it now…”

Dende adjusted his position wordlessly, and Piccolo didn’t dare look back for fear he would come immediately upon seeing Dende’s beautiful face. Dende’s cock pressed against Piccolo’s opening and Dende growled, “Darling, your ass is so perfect. It’s gorgeous. All of it. It’s fueled my fantasies for so long that it’s surreal to finally have you.”

Dende’s words surprised Piccolo, but then his lithe lover was pushing inside him and most coherent thought left Piccolo’s brain, replaced by loud, undeniable need. Piccolo turned his face into the mattress as he cried out.

Dende’s little hands spread wide on his cheeks and squeezed, his claws digging in, drawing blood. “Gods, Piccolo, you feel fucking amazing…” Dende said in a choked, breathy voice.

He began rolling his hips and Piccolo pleaded, “Fuck, Dende, yes, harder, please! I need you, beautiful, please!”

Dende, despite his diminutive size, was very strong. Not like Piccolo, of course, but Piccolo had been taking human lovers, and while he never let humans top him, they were so stunningly weak, even the big muscular ones, that Piccolo had forgotten what it was like to have a powerful partner. Dende was small, but he was a Namek. Dende gripped Piccolo’s hips and slammed him back hard as he surged forward at the same time.

P-spot fireworks went off in Piccolo’s body after only a few thrusts. Piccolo groaned and as words escaped him again, let his mind beg. Dende listened, adjusted his angle, and drove down hard into Piccolo, curling over him and using his strength to keep Piccolo’s body from escaping.

Dende opened his mind to Piccolo too. Piccolo breathed, “Holy shit…” as Dende’s pleasure—the sensual grip of Piccolo’s ass on him, the feel of Piccolo’s rock hard ass under his palms, the build of Dende’s climax—all flooded Piccolo’s mind, swirling and mixing with his own, which he let Dende plunder in turn.

“Piccolo, my love, you…you feel so good. I…I don’t know if I can last…” Dende choked out, hitting Piccolo’s spot harder, more desperately. He started to reach around to grab Piccolo’s cock, but he stopped, smoothly caressing along Piccolo’s obliques, and back onto his hip.

“Please make me come, Dende, come inside me. I want to feel you come inside me. Please!” Piccolo pleaded.

With their minds completely bare and joined, fucking as much as their bodies, Piccolo experienced a whole new level of pleasure. Dende let go inside him and Piccolo could feel everything: Dende’s orgasm and all the wet, hot sensations of his cum inside Piccolo’s already very slick ass, and Piccolo coming in response, the twitching, seizing clenches of his ass on Dende’s cock. Piccolo felt his own orgasm too, braided together so tightly with Dende’s that it was a completely new sensation. Underneath it all was the deep, warm pulse of Dende’s love for Piccolo, Dende’s happiness and joy and contentment at feeling Piccolo’s burning love in return.

They slowed gradually, both dragging in air like they had only just survived an intense battle, and Dende’s slender body curled over Piccolo’s broad one, kissing along his spine and flanks. “Oh, darling, that was incredible. I love you,” Dende breathed, and eased out of Piccolo.

Piccolo rolled onto his back and pulled Dende down onto his chest. Dende resisted enough to kiss Piccolo’s mouth and look into his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped, grinned, and kissed Piccolo more. Piccolo had answered his question for him: amazing but exhausting.

Piccolo’s body relaxed as Dende scooted up for a moment, their antennae twining together. “Go to sleep, darling, I love you,” Dende murmured aloud. 

The relief Piccolo felt after getting fucked by Dende was overwhelming. A nagging fear that Dende wouldn’t want that, wouldn’t like it, had been consuming more of Piccolo’s mind than he realized. And if Piccolo was honest, it felt nice to be catered to a little, not that he needed or wanted it all the time, but he appreciated Dende’s solicitousness.

“You silly man, I wasn’t _catering_ to you. I loved that, it was so hot. He was right about you, much as I hate to admit it. I love you, Piccolo, with all my heart, but I had no idea what a sweet creature you are, underneath your mountains of muscles and your surly exterior. How amusing that the only other person to find this part of you is such a salty creature.”

Piccolo smirked, his eyelids heavy he was so tired. He whispered, “Dende, _you_ are a salty creature. No doubt that’s why you two don’t get along. The only difference is you are subtle, and he is obnoxiously open about it.”

Piccolo fell asleep to the sound of Dende giggling: Dende felt a little smug about being as salty as Vegeta. Piccolo fell asleep feeling loved, more than he ever had in his life.


	12. Discussions and Repercussions

Piccolo couldn’t keep the stupid smile from spreading on his face as he woke up to Dende’s hard-on grinding on Piccolo’s hip. Dende wasn’t awake yet. Piccolo picked through the confused, sexy mess in his mind, not feeling even a little guilty given how brazenly Dende had been rifling around in Piccolo’s mind. Piccolo shifted his leg and scooped Dende between his legs.

Dende’s body responded to the proximity of options for fucking by getting even harder. Piccolo curled up enough to whisper in Dende’s ear, “Beautiful, you gonna make use of that hard-on or keep it to yourself?”

Dende woke gradually and peered up at Piccolo sleepily, smirked a little, and rubbed his antennae on Piccolo’s. Piccolo smiled and folded down to kiss Dende.

Dende moved into the kiss at the same time as he pushed inside Piccolo, using magic to lube his cock without even touching it. Piccolo growled out his pleasure and Dende moaned into his mouth. “Piccolo, darling, your ass is the perfect way to wake up…” 

Piccolo flopped back and Dende kissed over his pec to his nipple and sucked it hard, making Piccolo squirm. He pulled his legs up and wide. Dende thrust into him more vigorously and his arm slithered down between their bodies. Piccolo expected him to take hold of Piccolo’s cock, but when Dende’s small hand, pointed into a fist, started delving into Piccolo’s _theadur_ , Piccolo gasped out, “Holy fucking shit, Dende!”

“Mmm…too much, darling?”

“No, fuck, no, it feels so good,” Piccolo breathed. Piccolo was impressed by Dende’s dexterity, but he supposed there were advantages to being so petite. Piccolo couldn’t even fit his hips between Dende’s thighs without folding him in various directions, but Dende fit quite nicely between Piccolo’s with room to spare.

“Darling, our bodies fit together nicely in any configuration,” Dende panted, fucking Piccolo harder now, sliding almost completely out of him before slamming zealously back inside Piccolo. Piccolo felt Dende in his mind, but he let it be, it was working, and Piccolo liked being in Dende’s too. He moved one leg, shifted the angle of his pelvis, and Dende gasped, “Oh Lord of Lords, yes, yes, yes!”

Dende thrust his fist deep inside Piccolo’s _theadur_ as they started to come together. Piccolo didn’t think that would be enough to bring off his sheath too, but Dende started a delicious, new vibrating twist, so fast that Piccolo curled entirely upright, slamming his mouth against Dende’s, crying out into the kiss. Dende let his ecstasy wash over Piccolo and Piccolo did the same.

Dende’s eyes slid closed and he pressed his forehead tighter with Piccolo’s, his antennae essentially jacking Piccolo’s off. “Holy shit, Dende!” Piccolo shouted, and whimpered as pleasure like a whole new type of orgasm rippled through him.

Dende’s high-pitched, breathy cries felt amazing against Piccolo’s lips as Dende experienced his own antennae orgasm. It seemed there was a direct line from antennae to cock, both of them releasing more, and Dende pulled his hand free of Piccolo’s sheath so he could dig his claws into Piccolo’s thighs and really pound him a few more times, wailing so loudly Piccolo felt compelled to kiss him before Mr. Popo came to investigate.

After a long time rocking together more tamely, kissing, panting to catch their breath, and recovering from the powerful combination orgasm they’d shared, Dende eased out of Piccolo. He grinned and said, “Good morning, darling.”

Piccolo laughed, kissed Dende more, and said, “Good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep okay despite having a behemoth in your bed?”

“I slept well _because_ of the behemoth in my bed. And waking up was more fun than it ever has been before, even if the mess is the same,” Dende said, giggling as he dragged a finger through the cum on Piccolo’s belly.

They got out of bed and showered together, trying and failing to keep their hands to themselves. Piccolo carried Dende out of the shower on his hips, tossed him on the bed, and said, “I have to go learn to teleport so I can watch you dance and dance with you, beautiful. Otherwise I would stay here and ravish you all day. But I’m already late, and I’ll never hear the end of it if I’m any later.”

Dende kissed him soundly as Piccolo dressed himself with magic, which made Dende giggle. “I love you beautiful, I’ll see you later tonight, okay?”

“Good luck on Yardrat, darling. I love you, too,” Dende purred with a final swat to Piccolo’s ass.

Piccolo flew to meet Vegeta and Goku at Capsule Corps, the image of a naked, flushed Dende putting his Kami robes on so fresh in his mind that he was having a very hard time not being very hard. The thought of Vegeta’s wrath when he found out Piccolo had conned Dende into divulging their private conversation was sobering. By the time he touched down by the two Saiyans, his hard-on was a thing of the past.

Vegeta raised an imperious eyebrow at him and snarled, “You’re late.”

“I was getting laid.”

Goku blushed deep red, scratching the back of his neck, and said, “Can I take you guys and then you can talk this all out? I think I already know more than I need to know about…um…Piccolo.”

“Oh?” Vegeta said, “Just because you saw his diccolo?” Vegeta turned a wicked smirk to Piccolo. The term had originated from a teasing flirtation early on in their relationship, and over the years quite a lot of memories between the two of them had attached themselves to the word.

Piccolo widened his eyes emphatically at Vegeta and said, _Stop it, asshole_. Aloud, he said, “Let’s go, Goku. Thanks for taking us. Pick us up later tonight?”

“Can do!” Goku said, and within a minute, Vegeta and Piccolo were left standing alone on Yardrat, some distance away from the temple where they were supposed to go for training.

“Should we walk, Namek? Do you have something you’d like to say to me?” Vegeta said, barely suppressed fury rolling off him.

“Don’t be mad, Vegeta. I thought you were being a dick to him.”

“I _was_ being a dick to him,” Vegeta said huffily, as if the very idea of _not_ being a dick was insulting. To Vegeta, it probably was.

“You know what I mean. Don’t be a pain in the ass.”

“That conversation wasn’t meant for you, but I could just feel it, the second you showed up that he’d told you what I said. Why? Why couldn’t you just leave it alone?”

“Why do you care that I know? It was nice. What you did. I mean, nice for me, not for him. He was scared shitless. And pissed.”

Vegeta whirled on him and growled, “Because it fucking sucks! I want you to be happy, of course. But it also…Fuck. Piccolo, godsdamnit, I wanted you to be happy with _me_. I…It pisses me off that I couldn’t make you happy! And then that little fucking punk isn’t even going to do a good job? It just…It doesn’t seem _fair_ that I couldn’t make you happy, but you’d still be with someone _else_ who doesn’t make you happy. And I know nothing in life is fair, but I’m petty, and jealous, and selfish, and prideful, and…it’s just…damnit! I wish he hadn’t shown you! If you’re going to be unhappy anyway, I wish you were unhappy with me! But now…now I’m embarrassed!” Vegeta’s chest heaved. Piccolo knew his little, angry friend was on the brink of tears and when Vegeta cried, he got even angrier.

“Vegeta, you’re married to Bulma. You wanted that. You chose that.”

“No, I didn’t, and _you_ fucking well know it. I do love Bulma, in my shitty way, but…”

“Vegeta, come on, you can’t still be upset about…that?” 

“The fuck I can’t! Have you met me?” Vegeta barked.

“That was so long ago. You’re my best friend, Vegeta, I can’t…I can’t bear it if you’re this unhappy about me being with Dende,” Piccolo said, his stomach flipping inside out with stress.

“Oh, fuck you, I’m not. I’ll be fine. I’m sulking. Gods, it’s like you don’t know me at all. I’m ashamed that he showed you our conversation.”

“Why? It made me feel…better…about everything. With us.”

“Yes, well, it made me feel worse. I seem to be built backwards that I always feel best with people under my heel. It shames me, that you know…how I care…even though you did already, in your heart…right?” Vegeta said the last part so softly, so hopefully, that Piccolo felt guilty that he _hadn’t_ known. 

Even when they were really going at it all the time, when they’d first begun, and then when Vegeta had asked Piccolo to be his mate, even then, Piccolo thought of himself as merely a convenience for Vegeta. That it would have been too much trouble to find someone else. And Vegeta liked how strong Piccolo was, the way he could really fuck, not the half-assed way they had to fuck with humans. But Piccolo didn’t want to hurt Vegeta any more. So he said nothing. Vegeta didn’t need to know about Piccolo's beliefs about their relationship. It wouldn’t change anything. Piccolo didn’t want to look back.

Piccolo wanted to look forward, to see Dende’s impish little smiles when he did something naughty, his softer smile when he told Piccolo he loved him, his grumpy smile when Piccolo was being an idiot. Piccolo wasn’t going to turn away from that, but he still wished it didn’t hurt Vegeta.

Vegeta swore in Saiyan under his breath. He slapped Piccolo’s shoulder. “Let’s go figure out how to do this so Kakarot isn’t better than me at anything anymore.”

“I’m really sorry, Vegeta.”

“Don’t fucking be sorry for…for…wanting to be happy.”

“I’m sorry I pried. You’re right, I should have left it alone. I was worried he’d be pissed that you and I, you know, did _theadur_ stuff. Especially if you rubbed it in his face.”

Vegeta raised his eyebrows and snorted. “Oh? And? Was he? I wouldn’t do _that_ , by the way, I’m not a _complete_ asshole.”

“No, I mean, I’m sure if I’d let you put your dick in it he would’ve been upset, but he handled it okay…”

“He’s just embarrassed that you have so much more experience than he does. He did not see that coming with all his virginal pining and assuming you were with that prissy excuse for a Saiyan. He at least had the appropriate sexual read on Kakarot’s boy that if the two of you had been together for years, the farthest you would have gotten was a hand-job. Ha, did you see Gohan’s daughter isn’t even holding her head up and mine can fly? So satisfying,” Vegeta said, cackling.

Piccolo felt better now that Vegeta abandoned discussion of their tumultuous past. They made fun of Gohan more, postulating that Videl had perhaps gotten pregnant via wet-dream. It felt good to laugh with Vegeta instead of brainstorm dating advice or ruminate over what might have been. They got in some good jabs at Goku as they walked into the temple at last.

Piccolo hated that he would have to spend more than one day on Yardrat to learn, but they assured him three days would be enough, even if his brain did feel like a steaming pile of shit by the end of the day. The Yardratters seemed on the verge of worshipping Piccolo as a god for his height and breadth. It was not helpful in mending his tattered friendship with Vegeta, who they regarded as a smaller, meaner Goku.

One Yardratter made the mistake of voicing this opinion out loud and Piccolo had to seize Vegeta in a full mind-hold. He rarely pushed his way all the way into Vegeta’s mind like this, but he could, courtesy of their connection. He saved the people of Yardrat by mentally paralyzing Vegeta, pissing the small, dangerous Saiyan off to such a degree that the minute they were a decent distance from the temple, Vegeta lit into Piccolo.

Piccolo thought maybe the savagery with which Vegeta attacked him had more to do with Dende revealing Vegeta’s soft-underbelly than the Yardrat’s comparison of the two Saiyans or Piccolo’s mind-control. Vegeta fought mercilessly, not like training, but like battle. Piccolo was glad he’d merged with Kami, or Vegeta probably would have killed him in a fit of pique. Only after Vegeta really laid Piccolo out, breaking his collarbone and dislocating Piccolo’s shoulder, did he settle down.

“Fuck all, Vegeta. Knock it off,” Piccolo hissed and yelped as he popped his shoulder back into the socket.

“Fuck you!”

“You can’t be mad at me that you were too big a dick to mate with!” Piccolo shouted and instantly regretted it.

Vegeta, at last, as was often the case with his compact Saiyan friend after a big fight, let loose the tears. Vegeta sobbed into his hands. 

Piccolo approached him warily and said, “Shit, I’m sorry, Vegeta. I didn’t mean that.”

“Yes, you did. And it’s fucking accurate,” Vegeta said, still hiding his face.

“Come on, pull yourself together, Goku will be here soon and you don’t want that idiot to see you crying.”

“I’m not crying!” Vegeta shouted.

“Vegeta,” Piccolo said and pulled his surly friend into his arms. Vegeta cried against him for a bit. Piccolo said, “Hey, I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t really mean it. You’re happy with Bulma, right?”

“Yes…”

“Okay, then, simmer down,” Piccolo rubbed Vegeta’s sweaty back, trying to save Vegeta the further humiliation of Goku seeing him upset.

Vegeta nodded, wiped his face on Piccolo’s cape, as he often did, and stepped away. Piccolo said, “Is something else going on? You didn’t seem to care about me a few months ago.”

“I know. And I’ve been miserable.”

“I’m still your friend,” Piccolo said.

“Yes, but I’ll see you less and less. I can feel it happening. You’ll be with him, and you’ll go to New Namek to hang out, and you’ll mate, and have a whole flock of little green whelps up there on the Lookout, and I’ll never see you anymore. And then…oh gods…” Vegeta’s whole face collapsed and his eyes filled again.

“Hey, Vegeta, don’t do that…Goku’s gonna be here in like five minutes. You’ll fucking kill me if he catches you crying.”

“Right. Right. Okay. Fine. I’ll be fine,” Vegeta said, but held his mouth, like he had to hold the sobs inside himself manually.

Goku appeared, grabbed them both, dropped them at Capsule Corp, and disappeared all without a word.

Piccolo raised an eyebrow at Vegeta. “Is he just super homophobic, you think?”

“He’s probably been sexually attracted to you all these years and knowing you physically could have sex with him awakened something in him,” Vegeta said with his usual smirk.

Piccolo laughed. “Are you gonna be okay? Why don’t you and Bulma go with us the next time we go dancing?”

Vegeta’s face was priceless, his lip curled up as his mouth dropped open and he said, “Dancing? Oh gods, and I’d have to see you dance?”

“Hey! You prick, I’m not half-bad. Dende could probably teach you, and if he teaches Bulma, you’ll be banging her in an alley on your way to an inn.”

Vegeta snorted and said, “I’m not worried about you being _bad_ at dancing, you fucking idiot.”

“What?”

“How did you feel watching Dende dance?” Vegeta said, crossing his arms tightly.

“Like I needed to fuck him, like right then,” Piccolo said, grinning uncontrollably.

“Yes, Piccolo. Very good,” Vegeta said in a condescending tone.

“Ooooh, sorry.”

“I doubt very much if Dende would be game for a foursome. Or even a three-way.”

“If you were less of a prick to him,” Piccolo said with a shrug.

“Not really though,” Vegeta said, his face morose and a little pale.

“Nah, probably not. You’d make him all self-conscious. That was sweet, by the way, how you—“

Vegeta cut Piccolo off by punching him so hard he cracked several ribs. “Never breathe a word of that conversation to me again, ever! You or your little strumpet. Fuck you both. That’s what happens when I try to be…caring,” Vegeta snarled, then softened and said, “Sorry. Are you alright?”

“Let’s just say I’m glad I’m dating a healer,” Piccolo wheezed, “Gods, Vegeta, you’re being a baby.”

“Get off my property!” Vegeta snapped.

“Okay, see you tomorrow, buddy,” Piccolo said, laughing and dodging as Vegeta lunged to break ribs on the other side.

Piccolo made it to the Lookout before his lung filled entirely with blood, but he was a little pissed that Vegeta had taken that cheap shot. On the same side as the messed up shoulder and broken collarbone. That wily Saiyan, even when he wasn’t really in battle, he was always strategizing how to quickly incapacitate his opponent.

“Oh Lord of Lords, Piccolo!” Dende screeched and ran toward Piccolo, his robes billowing out behind him.

“Hey, beautiful, did you have a good day?” Piccolo said, happy to see his little mate without strife between them.

“Oh gods, let me heal you. Did he do this? Just because I showed you? Why would he beat _you_ up?” Dende tried to remove Piccolo’s weighted cape and failed.

Piccolo lifted it off with his functional arm, tossed his cap, too, and ripped his gi top off so Dende could see the damage. Piccolo forgot that Vegeta’s attack on Yardrat had probably made Piccolo look a little the worse for wear. Dende’s hands pressed gently on his chest and the strange, buzzing heat of his healing magic soothed all the pain in Piccolo’s body.

Dende’s soft hand moved up and cupped Piccolo’s face. He pulled Piccolo down as he stretched up on his toes, but Piccolo just slid his arm around Dende’s waist and picked him up so he could kiss him more deeply without stooping. Dende, a little shy in the last light of day, when Mr. Popo might appear at any moment, did not wrap his legs around Piccolo, but he did brush their antennae suggestively together.

Piccolo set Dende down and they made their way to Dende’s quarters, hand in hand. Piccolo still felt strange going into the sacredcentral area of the Lookout that was Dende’s home. Mr. Popo had his own little house off on the far side of the Lookout. There were hidden rooms and passageways and probably whole dimensions throughout the Lookout, but the only truly private place, where there wasn’t even the clamoring noise of all the creatures of Earth, was Dende’s abode.

Piccolo only saw the bedroom the night before, but now Dende took him into what was a beautiful, elegant, and very simple dining and living area. He’d laid out dinner on the low table and they kneeled down to eat, Piccolo on one side, and Dende on the adjacent side, so they could touch each other, but didn’t have to crane their necks to look at one another.

“I take it Vegeta was displeased that I showed you?”

“Not exactly. Vegeta just had a really bad day.”

“So he beat you to a pulp?” Dende said, eating delicately as Piccolo shoveled food in his face.

Piccolo pulled a face. Vegeta hadn’t done _that_ much damage. “Not a pulp, gods, Dende, I have my pride too. But…it’s complicated. It started when the Yardratters called him a small, crabby Goku. I had to full mind-control him to keep him from obliterating the entire planet.”

Dende dropped the food he was holding and gaped. “What?”

“Yardrat is small, Vegeta wouldn’t even have to go super-Saiyan to destroy it.”

“No, not that, I know Vegeta is quite capable of wholesale destruction. But you said you mind-controlled him?” Dende said, still eating absently.

Piccolo shifted uncomfortably, worried he had pissed Dende off again. He said,“I hardly ever do it. Against his will, anyway.”

“What does _that_ mean?”

“Well…use your imagination.”

“Wha—Oh! Oooh, oh yes. Hmmm…Interesting,” Dende said, his cheeks flushing deeply. “But, Piccolo, you…you shouldn’t be able to do that.”

“I know it’s pretty slippery moral ground, but—“

“That may be, but that isn’t what I mean. It just shouldn’t be possible.”

“I can’t do it with anyone else, just Vegeta, and probably because we, um, practiced,” Piccolo said and regretted ever bringing any of this up. He should have gone to Korin for a senzu bean and saved himself this renewed kerfuffle about his relationship with Vegeta.

“But…that…how bizarre. It’s something I’m not even capable of, Kami wasn’t capable of doing it either. It just isn’t supposed to be possible. Could you do it before you merged with Kami? You can control him? Entirely?”

“Yeah, after we shared _peluwsa_ the first time. And we haven’t done thorough tests or anything, but yes, I can take pretty complete control. He was really pissed at me today. But he was in a foul temper when we got to Yardrat, there was no bringing him down once he heard them say he was basically a lesser Goku. You know how Vegeta’s temper is about Goku.”

Dende looked at Piccolo like he had summoned a demon spirit. Piccolo continued, his pulse beating faster, “I don’t do it _often_. Like I said, we figured it out…consensually.” Piccolo crossed his arms tightly. He’d lost his appetite. Did Vegeta and Bulma have this much drama about Piccolo? He doubted it. Piccolo was just background noise in their relationship.

Piccolo decided not to wait for Dende to ruminate on it too much. He lifted Dende up and pulled him into Piccolo’s lap, rucked his robes up to bare his lithe legs. Dende giggled and blushed. “Piccolo, are you trying to distract me with your muscles?”

Piccolo kissed up Dende’s neck, bit his earlobe, and murmured, “Depends…is it working?”

“I—“ Dende’s voice turned into a strangled noise of pleasure as Piccolo slipped his hand under Dende’s robes, and finding him bare, smoothly pressed three fingers into Dende’s tight, velvety sheath. “Piccolo, oh gods, that’s…that’s not playing fair…” Dende breathed.

Piccolo moved his hand slowly, gingerly, but let his other hand run along Dende’s leg, over his hip, and palm his firm little ass cheek. Piccolo kissed his way back to Dende’s mouth. His tongue danced along Dende’s lips, then his fangs, before plunging deeper, tasting Dende, tasting the grapes he had just been eating, and Dende’s tongue met his eagerly. Piccolo’s mouth held Dende’s captive, though Dende made no real effort to escape the kiss.

Dende’s arms wrapped around Piccolo as Piccolo continued working his little mate’s sheath. Dende quivered in his lap. Piccolo took his mouth away from Dende’s, earning a plaintive whining noise, and when he licked the rim and up to the point of Dende’s other ear, he whispered, “Do you want me to play fair? Or should I keep being naughty?”

“Piccolo…” Dende groaned.

Piccolo shoved his food out of the way and laid Dende back on the low table. Piccolo yanked Dende’s robes up and over his head, but not his arms, trapping them behind his head with the tangled fabric. Dende’s eyes went wide and Piccolo shoved Dende’s legs apart, took his fingers out of Dende’s sheath, and bent to put his mouth on it.

“Oh, gods, Piccolo…” Dende rasped, “I…I want you to fuck me like this…in my _theadur_.”

Piccolo spread his tongue wide and moved it up and down Dende’s slit. He sucked each of Dende’s balls until he was squirming on the table. “I know, beautiful, I want that too, but I don’t think you want a baby yet.”

“Can’t you pull out?” Dende pleaded.

“Yeah, you sure?” Piccolo asked, unable to think clearly about whether it was the right choice or not. But he wanted it. He wanted Dende to be his forever. To be his _atheanna_.

“Yes. I’ve been sure. I need it, Piccolo, I can’t think straight I need it so badly.”

“Okay, beautiful, but I’m going to make you come on my face first,” Piccolo said, and dropped back between Dende’s perfect thighs. He gripped them, his hands so large that he really could hold them. Piccolo’s biceps were bigger than Dende’s thighs. Piccolo couldn’t put a baby in Dende, he would die bearing Piccolo’s child. And Piccolo wanted to be the one anyway, the one to carry their child.

Piccolo’s tongue delved deep inside Dende’s heat. Piccolo wanted to try making Dende come without his fingers. Given the amount of effort Dende was putting into not swearing, Piccolo thought it was possible. He flipped his tongue back and forth, making it hard and probing, and long. Sometimes it was handy that every part of Piccolo was long. Dende squeaked out, “How are you fucking me like this with your tongue?”

Piccolo hummed happily against his lover’s sheath. His tongue dragged along the velvety lining, pressing hard along the whole upper side, the side Piccolo knew had so many nerves that felt amazing in both sheath and cock. Dende’s hips surged up off the table. Dende wailed and screamed, “Piccolo, oh, fuck, Piccolo! Yes!” 

Piccolo enjoyed the bliss of Dende’s _theadur’s_ hungry muscle contractions pulling at his tongue. He sucked on the exterior as much as he could while he withdrew his tongue and Dende clutched at him, pleading incoherently.

Piccolo threw Dende over his shoulder, slapped his ass hard, and carried him to the bedroom. Their bedroom. Their bed. He used the twisted robes to bind Dende’s hands to the headboard, feeling Dende open his mind to Piccolo, sharing how very much he enjoyed that, how what Piccolo had done felt. Piccolo shivered.

Dende whispered, “Can I suck your cock, darling?”

It was moments like these, when Piccolo truly loved Dende’s gentle voice and his sweet endearments. It was hard not to chuckle. Piccolo growled, “I do love when you suck my dick, beautiful, but no. Not right now. I need you. I need to fuck you.”

“Yes? You’ll be my _atheanna_?”

“Gods yes, Dende. I want it. I want to be with you. To be yours.”

“And I want you to be mine, Piccolo. But I want to be yours as well.”

Piccolo smirked down at his bound lover. “You gonna tie me up and fuck me after this?”

Dende’s eyes grew wide and a little half-smile pulled his lips up on one side. “I…yes!” Piccolo let his mind open up to Dende, all the ways he wanted to dominate Dende, be dominated, to fuck him rough, to make love to him, to bear his child, to spend every day and every night together. To share their long lives.

Dende’s mind spilled into his, his delight at Piccolo opening up to him was the first bright thought, but beyond that there was so much hunger and want and excitement to learn everything about his body and Piccolo’s, to try everything either of them could imagine, to raise their children together, though he shared a similar fear of pregnancy, which was a huge relief to Piccolo. Dende even opened the dark little wound of his jealousy of Vegeta, of his nagging fear that Piccolo would be dissatisfied in bed, that Dende was too nice for Piccolo, that Piccolo would become bored.

Piccolo kissed Dende deeply and whispered, feeling it was worth reiterating aloud, “I don’t want to fuck Vegeta anymore. I never wanted to be with Vegeta like that. I want to fuck you. I want you to fuck me. He’s my friend. That’s all. I’ll never tire of you, Dende. Ever.”

“There’s confusion around him in your mind, Piccolo,” Dende said softly, his eyes searching Piccolo’s and they were a little glassy.

“Yeah, but not about who I want to be with. Because I want to be with you. It doesn’t mean I don’t have some weird shit with Vegeta, made weirder by the past two days, but you’re the one I love, the one I want to spend my life with, my mate. Be my _atheanna,_ Dende?”

Dende kissed him tenderly, ripped his robes to break free, and pulled Piccolo in to a tight hug, his legs wrapped around Piccolo too.“Yes, darling, yes. Fuck me, please? I need you inside me.”

Piccolo contracted all his abs to arch his back enough that he could keep kissing Dende while he thrust inside Dende’s _theadur_. Piccolo gasped, “Gods, Dende, I love you… _atheanna_ , my only, you feel incredible. I could fuck you forever like this, it’s like your body was made for mine.” Dende’s sheath was so tight on Piccolo that he struggled not to come, but worried that he was hurting his little mate too, so he said, “You okay, beautiful? Not painful?”

Dende breathed, “No, _atheanna_ , amazing. Intense.” As Dende spoke, a soft glow bloomed beneath his skin filling their bedroom with ethereal green light. 

Piccolo ran his hand over Dende’s bioluminescence and whispered, “You’re so beautiful always, but especially like this.”

Dende grinned and pulled Piccolo's face back down to his to kiss him more. Piccolo rolled his hips, and adjusted so he could hold Dende’s hip in his big hand, loving the dark silhouette of his long fingers on that petite, perfect part of his lover. He pulled Dende against him as he thrust harder and Dende’s hands reached to grip Piccolo’s ass, digging his claws in with a satisfied moan.

“Harder, _atheanna_ , and I don’t want you to pull out,” Dende purred.

“I have to, Dende, I don’t think it’s safe…look at the size of me, what will my offspring be like?” Piccolo gasped. He didn’t want to have a serious conversation, he wanted to enjoy the velveteen heat of Dende’s _theadur_ , to revel in the magic that was bonding them to one another with every thrust.

“Please…” Dende begged. His head lolled back with pleasure, his mouth hanging open as he panted.

“Dende…”

Dende’s head snapped back and he stared into Piccolo’s eyes. Piccolo pushed the fear and terror the idea of Dende in labor caused him into Dende's mind. Dende’s eyes softened. He growled and curled up to kiss Piccolo roughly. “Very well, but then I’m fucking _you_ and I’m _not_ pulling out. At least fuck me harder, _atheanna_ , I’m not fragile.”

A big, stupid, fang-filled grin spread on Piccolo’s face. He wanted children badly, but had felt Dende’s reticence. He wasn’t a good enough person to try to dissuade Dende, who was clearly making the decision out of lust and hunger, not a well thought out family plan. Piccolo sat back on his haunches and pulled Dende’s narrow hips with him.

He flexed his ass again and again, faster and harder, slamming his cock into Dende’s perfect heat. Dende’s skin glow brightened the more aroused he got until his skin flared and he screamed, “Piccolo! Oh fuck!” and Piccolo lost himself in the delicious grip and clench of Dende’s sheath pulling at him. Only at the very last possible second did he pull out.

They both screamed and grabbed at their cocks. Piccolo was used to pain, he ate pain for breakfast, but this was different. This pain was an entity unto itself and it was _angry_. It tore at Piccolo’s testicles and the base of his cock, like he and Dende had been fused together and Piccolo had taken a cheese grater to that bond. Dende was in tears, curling up in a little ball.

Piccolo wrapped around his poor, suffering _atheanna_ and cried, “What the _fuck_ just happened?” It felt strange that they were both covered in cum and in agony, the two didn’t usually go together for Piccolo.

Dende choked out, “I…I don’t know! It felt so good until you pulled out. The elders never spoke about the details, they just said you save your _theadur_ for your _atheanna_. Does…does Nail know anything else about it?”

Piccolo dug around in the part of him that was Nail, but Nail shut him out. Apparently some things were off limits. Piccolo grumbled mentally at his tenant, but Nail simply wouldn’t relent. Piccolo sighed and said, “He’s being recalcitrant. He won’t let me see any of his private stuff.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“What?! How?”

“Open your mind to me, let me see if he’ll connect with me. Please, Piccolo? We must be doing something wrong!” Dende said and few tears slipped down his cheeks.

“Don’t cry, beautiful. Okay, yeah, okay, come here,” Piccolo said, and they brought their heads together in a deeper, more meditative form of _peluwsaterna_ that required cooperation on both sides, work on both sides. But Piccolo could hear like an echo that Nail was at least speaking with Dende, though the words were garbled. Piccolo realized with a start that wasn’t it—they were just Namekian, and without Nail actively participating, Piccolo didn’t speak a word of Namekian. Piccolo felt left out, nervous, vulnerable. Piccolo wished Nail had just spoken directly to him.


	13. The Sex Talk

When they finally pulled their heads apart, Dende was flushed more deeply than Piccolo had ever seen. Piccolo, whose pain had abated, brushed his knuckles over Dende’s cheek and said, “What on Earth did Nail say to you that has you blushing like a nun?”

Dende giggled and patted his own cheeks. “I only knew Nail as a child, it was a bit strange to be talking about my cock with him, Piccolo.”

“Did he at least have some godsdamned insight into why it felt like our poor cocks almost ripped off?”

“Well, of a kind. Only second-hand. Nail had no _atheanna_.” Dende looked a little sad. He shook his head. “What he said was that the reason everyone tells Nameks to put off _theadur_ sex until you’re ready to have a family isn’t simply out of any prudish religious nonsense. Aside from the very real magical bond that makes any other lover miserable in my sheath—“

Piccolo cut him off, snarling, “ _I’d_ make anyone else miserable if they touched your sheath!”

Dende sighed, but kissed Piccolo’s cheek before he continued, “Yes, darling, I know, I’m explaining mechanics not expressing a desire for infidelity. The bond is one reason, but Nail said from his pair-bonded friends, he understood that one’s _theadur_ does not like being deprived of…um…of cum. It _wants_ to get pregnant. It hungers for it. That’s why we feel so insatiable when we even touch them, but Nail said there’s no way around it except to get pregnant. Or to be sterilized, which Nameks have a method for, but it’s permanent. Giving birth to an egg gives you a reprieve, he said it can be as long as two years after hatching, but sometimes less.”

“Fuck, Dende! Bearing my egg might kill you! I’m just too fucking big!” Piccolo said and felt more despondent than he had even during their first squabble.

“That was the thing he wasn’t entirely certain about—his friends all had one partner who did the bearing, never both…but he was uncertain whether that meant the other partner gained some infertility, or whether the other partner just didn’t…get fucked,” Dende finished and looked as despondent as Piccolo felt.

“Well…you could fuck me, knock me up…and then…I don’t know…I guess we could go to New Namek and ask someone there?”

“Piccolo, it feels very strange to have to ask my family for sex information when I’m an adult.”

“Yeah…but you came here so young.”

“True enough,” Dende said.

“Do you…um…do you not want them to know about me?”

Dende’s eyes widened. He stammered, “Oh! No, Piccolo! No…I…no! It’s just that I had hoped to tell them that you were my _atheanna_ without having to ask what we were doing wrong,” Dende paused and looked down at his hands, “I also ought to dress…traditionally…when we go. And…I don’t really like that. I feel silly enough in the Kami robes here.”

“Why? Surely they won’t care what you wear, will they?”

“I don’t know, Piccolo! They’re very conservative. It will be shock enough that I’m with a warrior of your…reputation. And a member of the Demon Clan. The person who merged with Nail.”

Piccolo’s eyebrows shot up. “Do…do people hold that against me? That was what _he_ wanted. He’s fine with it. He likes my body, it’s better than his!”

Dende giggled and ran a hand appreciatively over Piccolo’s pecs and down onto his cock. “It certainly is, darling, but there were some who felt you robbed Namek of it’s greatest warrior and then left them to their fate.”

“I tried to defeat Frieza! Goku never would have gone to Namek if not for wishing to resurrect me!”

“Darling, please, calm down, you’re going to knock me off the bed with your angry chi.”

“Oh, sorry,” Piccolo muttered, “It just feels unfair that I get blamed when it was…consensual.”

“Well they can’t very well blame Nail now without blaming you, can they?”

“They could just not _blame_ anyone.”

“True, darling, I’m not supporting them. I’m telling you why I’m wary of going to visit with you in tow and asking if there’s any way you can fuck me safely in what is supposed to be a sacred organ of reproduction. Can you at least sympathize with how uncomfortable that makes me?”

“Of course, _atheanna_ ,” Piccolo whispered, wanting to try out the term. He liked the way it felt in his mouth. “What if we just went and asked…I don’t know…that bartender who was nice to me?”

“You want to ask…a bartender…how to have sex?”

“For fuck’s sake, Dende, we know how to have sex! We just don’t know how to avoid the feeling of our dicks being torn off.” Dende giggled more, but Piccolo persevered, “What if after I master IT, we head off to New Namek for date night, and I’ll just get so wasted that I have no fucking shame, and I’ll ask, okay?”

“You’d do the asking?” Dende said, his cheeks blooming with color again.

“Why not? The guy knows I’m not native, knows I’m an idiot from my drink order, and I can tell him I don’t want to embarrass myself with you.”

“Alright, darling, it’s a date. How long do you think it will take to learn IT?”

“They said two more days. Tomorrow and Friday. Then we could go Friday night or Saturday.”

Dende shoved Piccolo back on the bed, making heavy duty leather straps snake around Piccolo’s wrists and around the headboard of their bed. He trailed a finger down Piccolo’s sternum and said, “Be a good _atheanna_ and pretend you can’t break that with the slightest tensing of your muscles.”

Piccolo squirmed with excitement. He had wanted a family for such a long time that it felt surreal to finally get it. Surreal that he would be a father. Have his own baby to love and cuddle and take care of with his love, his mate. Dende smirked down at him. “Look at you, darling, you can barely contain your grin. You’ve been hoping I’d put a baby in you, haven’t you?”

Piccolo’s smile broadened, his fangs showing. “Don’t be mad, Dende, I just…I want to be a dad. And I want you to fuck my _theadur_ , so it’s a win-win, right? You at least want to fuck my _theadur_?”

Dende made a sour face. “I want more than that, Piccolo. Don’t make me sound vapid and crass. I love you, I want a family with you. If our _theadurs_ weren’t so recalcitrant, I might have hoarded you all to myself a bit longer. But I want children as well, darling. I’m willing to share you.”

Piccolo wrapped his legs around Dende and pulled him down for a kiss, making his little lover giggle more with his flexibility. “I love you, _atheanna_ ,” Piccolo whispered.

“And I love you, my darling _atheanna_ ,” Dende murmured against his lips, his hands roaming over Piccolo’s powerful shoulders and arms, down onto his chest. “Gods, how I love your body, too, Piccolo. I can’t keep my hands off you.”

“Good…I don’t want you to keep your hands off me, beautiful,” Piccolo purred and rolled his hips up against Dende. Dende’s cock was hard and pressed against Piccolo’s belly, but that was not where he wanted it. He wanted pleasure badly after the horror of how their first pair-bonding had ended.

“Oh…ah…I forgot to tell you one more thing Nail said. I knew Nameks went into seclusion during gestation, but I did not know why…”

“Why?” Piccolo said, a nervous band tightening around his stomach.

“He said if it takes…if you become pregnant, that it will get harder and harder for me to pull out after sex as we go along. He said couples generally—not always—but they usually…they usually remain…joined…for the duration.”

Piccolo absorbed Dende’s shy, stumbling words and said, “So we have to fuck…nonstop…for ten days?”

Dende flushed and a grin spread on his face, showing his perfect fangs and a dimple in his cheek that Piccolo rarely saw, as Dende usually turned his more subtle, sweeter smirk on Piccolo. Dende said, “Yes, I believe we could stop…some. But according to Nail…we won’t want to stop.”

“I don’t really want to stop now, Dende, so you better be ready to fuck the demon right out of your big, green behemoth.”

Dende giggled and kissed up the split in Piccolo’s abs. “Mmm…darling…I might just fuck the demon right out of you tonight. Maybe I’ll put twins in your beautiful belly? Hmm?”

“As long as you put your dick in my _theadur._ Holy shit, beautiful, I want you so badly.”

“You might have to release me from your mighty thighs, darling, if you really want me to _fuck_ you. At best I could make love confined as I am. And I confess that I don’t feel inclined to do it gently at all. Quite the opposite. Quite…unholy, even, the way I wish to fuck you,” Dende said and wiggled his eyebrows before kissing Piccolo. He drove his tongue into Piccolo’s mouth, curled it up against his fangs, sucked on Piccolo’s like it was a cock until Piccolo was moaning helplessly.

“Dende…” Piccolo gasped, finally untwining his legs from behind his lithe lover.

Dende slammed his thighs wide open with authority and Piccolo thrilled again at the strength in his petite, wiry body. Dende’s eyes were fiery as he dug his claws into Piccolo, making them both gasp, and sucked back down Piccolo’s torso. Piccolo tried to control the trembling excitement that shook his body just thinking about what Dende was about to do.

Piccolo had a weakness for having his _theadur_ eaten out. It drove him fucking crazy. It made him needy and compliant and a complete mess. Piccolo would do anything to have a tongue in his sheath. So while he loved it, it also terrified him to be so completely at anyone’s mercy. When Vegeta had tried to do it uninvited, he usually earned an ass-kicking. But that was Vegeta. Sometimes you just couldn’t let Vegeta have you at his mercy because power wasn’t always good for Vegeta.

Dende, however, Piccolo trusted not to abuse Piccolo’s helpless desire. Trusted Dende to give him release, not torment him. To take care of him when he was so vulnerable. Dende popped back up after only licking his shaft. Piccolo assumed Dende didn’t want it or that Dende wanted to get straight to fucking.

Dende’s antennae caressed Piccolo’s sensually, but felt out Piccolo’s mind about the act in question. Piccolo whispered, “You were snooping again…”

“I thought we agreed it was acceptable as long as I use my power for good…”

“Good for who?” Piccolo said and raised an eyebrow.

“For your climaxes,” Dende said, giggling and kissing Piccolo. “Don’t be so serious, darling. I love you. Of course I’ll take good care of you. I’ve never done it. I was just poking around for your preferences and unsurprisingly came across Vegeta again.”

“Fucking hell, Dende!” Piccolo grumbled.

“I’m not mad. He’s there with every sex thing. This one at least I seem to have the upper hand.”

“Gods, you have the upper hand on all of them because I want to have sex with _you_. No more snooping if you bring him up while we’re in bed.”

“So touchy, _atheanna._ What if I touch _you_ , make you melt a little in your _atheanna’s_ careful hands? Or my careful mouth, rather?”

“You are so devious, beautiful. You put on that sweet, innocent face of yours and you trick people into thinking you’re not cunning and clever and naughty, but now I know what you’re capable of, I’m wary of your sweet smiles,” Piccolo said, but he grinned.

Dende gave him another deep, lusty kiss, and kissed down to his ear, which he slid his tongue inside, pulsed it there before he breathed, “I’ve dreamt of doing this to you, you know, of putting my mouth on your _theadur_ until you begged…Is there any chance you’ll beg for me, darling? Beg for my cock?”

“I’m pretty close to begging you to eat me out, Dende, you…you…oh gods, the thought of you between my thighs like that…maybe touching my prick a little…”

Piccolo felt Dende’s grin against his jawline as he kissed along it and nibbled his way down Piccolo’s throat. Dende tongued each of Piccolo’s nipples and licked the red, velvety rim of Piccolo’s abdominals, teasing him by going all the way down to Piccolo’s cock, then back up the other side. His little grin still visible as he tasted Piccolo in such a leisurely manner.

“ _Atheanna_ , please…please…fuck…your antennae already turned me to putty in your hands,” Piccolo gasped as Dende’s tongue plunged into his navel again and again. Piccolo’s body was needy already, his legs pulling up even higher, as though they were trying to casually put Piccolo’s sheath in the path of Dende’s mouth.

Dende’s soft hand wrapped firmly around Piccolo’s cock and started moving up and down, he put his mouth on the tip just to get enough spit to really be able to slide his hand. To twist it, to add speed. Piccolo groaned and arched toward the touch.

“You do not feel at all like putty, _atheanna_ , you feel like stone that’s been in the sun. It’s hard to resist sitting right down on your cock, darling, it’s just so good at fucking me.”

“Dende, please, I’ll fuck you however you want if you’ll give me…give me what I need.”

“You _do_ have a weakness, don’t you?” Dende murmured, languidly sucking just the head of Piccolo’s cock, fondling his balls, but his fingertips grazed Piccolo’s sheath. Piccolo had moments of questioning whether Dende really had no sexual experience. He felt very experienced right now. He was handling Piccolo like a seasoned pro.

Piccolo groaned, “Yeah, I really do…once you put it in my mind, my body started aching for it…craving you…your mouth…your saucy tongue…”

Dende smirked up at Piccolo and licked his way down the underside of Piccolo’s shaft. Piccolo threw his head back and screamed when Dende’s fiery tongue spread wide and dragged down Piccolo’s slit, formed into a point to drag back up, and repeated that until Piccolo couldn’t help himself as he groaned, “Holy shit, Dende, are you sure you’ve never eaten sheath before? Because you are wrecking me!”

Piccolo’s hips surged towards Dende’s mouth and Piccolo’s whole body thrummed with the desire for more, more of whatever wet, perfect pleasure Dende would give him. Dende giggled against him and that felt amazing too. Dende’s tongue pushed hard inside him and Piccolo wailed, his legs opening even wider, rocking up, fucking into Dende’s spit slick hand as Dende’s hungry tongue thrust inside him, withdrew, licked him more, and just as Piccolo was ready to beg and weep, plunged again.

Piccolo had never experienced such pleasure in his life. His climax was roaring toward him and he wondered if he would actually die when it hit him. He panted and shook, his breath coming in rapid-fire gasps, his body barely able to handle the sensations Dende’s tongue delivered as it searched out every nerve in Piccolo’s _theadur_. 

“Come hard for me, darling, I need to fuck you,” Dende murmured, against Piccolo’s sheath.

Piccolo’s orgasm ripped through him and he cried out for Dende. He caressed Dende’s head, not wanting to hold him, but barely able to control his limbs. There was a calm moment when all his internal, intimate muscles froze before they all spasmed wildly, gripping and clenching at Dende’s tongue. Piccolo’s cum hit him in the face as it jetted out of him. Dende continued to stroke him through the throes of his euphoria, moaning against Piccolo now, and it increased Piccolo’s pleasure to know Dende enjoyed it so much.

He trembled as he slowly came down from the high, his _theadur_ still seizing. Dende crawled up to kiss Piccolo’s mouth hard and purred, “Darling, can I fuck that sweet sheath of yours?”

“Yes, fuck, yes, please, beautiful!” Piccolo said, using all his will power not to break his restraints and yank Dende inside him.

Dende gave his antennae one more sensual caress, making Piccolo gasp and groan, and slid back down Piccolo’s body. He aligned himself and whispered, “Gods, Piccolo, I can’t even believe this is real…” He plunged inside Piccolo deeply, holding himself still for a moment while they both cried out.

“Holy fucking shit, beautiful, holy shit. Holy shit. I didn’t…fuck…I can feel it. You’re mine now, Dende, you’re really mine,” Piccolo said, his eyes finding Dende’s. Finding them on fire.

“And you’re mine, darling. Mine forever. I love you so, my sweet behemoth,” Dende purred, smiling down at Piccolo as he began rocking into him.

He picked up his pace slowly, maybe as overwhelmed by the sensation as Piccolo was, but soon, Dende was slamming into him hard, out of breath, sweating, and his eyes watched Piccolo intently. Piccolo felt so connected to Dende that he was almost tearful. The ecstasy of this was different than anything Piccolo had felt, even when he fucked Dende’s sheath, and he wondered if somehow their _theadurs_ knew which of them would be the one to carry their young.

“Gods, Piccolo, you feel so fantastic…I…I don’t think I’ll last much longer after having my tongue inside you while you came…it was so hot. Are you close, darling?” Dende asked, one hand on Piccolo’s chest, twisting his nipple, the other braced on Piccolo’s thigh, pushing him open for Dende with just enough claw to make Piccolo shiver with pleasure.

“Fuck, yes, fuck me deep, Dende, so deep! Fuck, yes, yes, yes! I’m coming, _atheanna_! Come inside me! Come inside me! Fill me, my mate!”

Dende’s eyes rolled back in his head right before they slid closed. Piccolo loved watching his lover’s face in ecstasy. Dende’s mouth hung open as he cried out Piccolo’s name. Piccolo couldn’t help himself and he broke his restraints to touch Dende.

Dende came hard, his hips snapping viciously against Piccolo. Dende’s cum set Piccolo off even more, and Dende’s skin bloomed with light too, so they were like two fireflies together as they cried out. Piccolo took Dende’s face in his hands and kissed him hungrily, desperately. Piccolo curled up until he was almost sitting and wrapped his arms around Dende’s chest, needing to be close to him.

Dende’s lithe arms twined around Piccolo’s neck as he deepened the kiss, thrusting more calmly now, but still so deliciously deep. Piccolo’s body buzzed with the euphoria of their coupling. The love he’d had for Dende before felt like it had been consumed by something bigger and more powerful. Something magic. Piccolo knew, of course, going in, that they would be bonded by magic, but it didn’t change how stunned he felt as he experienced it.

Dende delved in Piccolo’s mind, but it was more like they just shared one big mind. Dende kissed him more before he pushed his face into the crook of Piccolo’s neck and caught his breath. They stilled and Piccolo laid back, holding Dende tightly in his arms.

Neither of them spoke for a long time. Piccolo was very sleepy, but it felt strange not to say something after everything they’d done. He said, “Gods, you are really good at fucking me,” which he knew wasn’t maybe sacred or romantic, but he thought Dende might enjoy hearing it all the same.

Dende giggled and said, “And you’re good at fucking me too, darling. I’m very tired.”

“Me too. Do you…do you know how long?”

“We should know by tomorrow evening. Ironically, some of the healer training I did before I left to come here was all about pregnancy and birth, but no one bothered to teach me the mechanics of getting in such a condition,” Dende said, his voice almost slurring, “I’ll check you tomorrow, _atheanna_. Good night.”

Piccolo relaxed with his _atheanna_ in his arms, pressing his nose against Dende’s skull. Only after Dende was completely unconscious did anxiety trickle back into Piccolo’s mind. Before Piccolo distracted Dende, what had he said about the mind-control stuff? That it should be impossible. If that was so, Piccolo worried what it meant that he could do it with Vegeta. Would that become another flashpoint between Piccolo and Dende? Another jealous wound? Piccolo tried to push it away, to go to sleep, to let it go, but as the stars wheeled outside the window, Piccolo found himself still awake, still scared. Now that he had Dende, truly had him, it terrified him, on an existential level, that Piccolo might lose him.


	14. Yapuural Strikes Again

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Namek. Late again,” Vegeta growled as Piccolo touched down.

Piccolo was late. Later even than the day before. He and Dende had been unable to resist another morning round of _theadur_ sex. And then again after a shower. And then Piccolo couldn’t help but give Dende a blow job. Piccolo wanted to learn IT, but he also wished he could stay cloistered with Dende for days on end.

“Shut up, Vegeta. Some of us have lives.”

Goku, for once, looked crabbier than Vegeta as he said, “Yeah, some of us do, Piccolo. Be on time tomorrow. I told ChiChi I’d be back by now.”

Piccolo felt abashed. He tended to think of Goku as not really having a life, but he supposed the man did do some other things besides fight. Goku took Vegeta’s hand, but Vegeta’s face broke open with horror. It wasn’t like having to hold Goku’s hand to IT was new so Piccolo had no idea what that was about.

“Oh fuck!” Vegeta wheezed.

Goku sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Vegeta, can we just go? I want to help you guys, but I don’t really want to be a part of your…relationship.”

“Goku, what would happen if someone pregnant were to IT?” Vegeta asked, staring into Piccolo’s eyes.

“Oh, huh, yeah, I think it would end badly. Not good for the baby. The Yardratians told me not to take pregnant women or really young children—like I think they recommended that they be speaking well enough that their brain could handle that level of chi disruption. Why? Oh jeez, Vegeta, did you impregnate a Yardratian?” Goku asked the last part with such exasperation Piccolo expected him to shake Vegeta.

“What?!? No! Of course not! But Piccolo’s pregnant!” Vegeta said, flapping his hand at Piccolo’s midsection.

Goku and Piccolo both squawked, “What!?!”

Vegeta narrowed his eyes at Piccolo and then turned to Goku and said, “Let’s go, Kakarot. That one can’t come.” He returned his dark gaze to Piccolo and snarled, “Don’t pretend _you_ didn’t know. Good gods, I didn’t think he’d take my words quite so aggressively to heart. Come on, Kakarot, let’s fucking go!” 

Goku shook his head and took Vegeta’s hand. Then they were gone. Piccolo gaped at the empty space where they had been. How had Vegeta known? Was he right? He rocketed back up to the Lookout.

Piccolo strode across the broad expanse of the Lookout, feeling out Dende’s chi. His little mate was in the garden again. As Dende came into view, Piccolo smiled. It was just like his fantasy: Dende had his robes tucked up and his cheeks were flushed as he quietly sang a happy song, squatting and weeding. Piccolo got to watch him for a moment before he noticed Piccolo.

His face split open in a huge smile as he said, “Oh! Darling! Did your plans change?”

“Did you know? This morning?”

Dende canted his head to the side and his eyebrows scrunched together. “Know what? Why aren’t you on Yardrat?”

Piccolo couldn’t help his own big, stupid smile. He said, “IT is not recommended for pregnant people. Did you know already and you were just keeping it from me?”

Dende’s eyes were so wide and surprised that Piccolo surmised he truly hadn’t known. How did Vegeta know? Another shiver of fear ran down Piccolo’s spine. What was the bizarre connection that Piccolo and Vegeta seemed to share? Was this related to the mind-control business?

Dende’s smile got bigger and goofier as he said, “You…how…how do you know? It should be too early to tell. It’s barely been twelve hours!”

Piccolo wished he had thought this interaction through. If he told Dende that Vegeta had sensed it somehow, Dende would likely feel outdone. But now Piccolo had to say something. He never wanted to lie to Dende. His hand tried to go to the back of his neck. Godsdamned Goku. Piccolo swallowed hard and said, “Well…we were about to IT and Vegeta’s face got all weird and he asked Goku if pregnant people should IT. Goku said no, and then Vegeta told me I couldn’t go. So…he…uh…he must’ve sensed it somehow. Maybe he can smell it? Saiyan olfaction is ridiculous, and I think even amongst Saiyans, Vegeta might be some kind of smelling-savant.”

Dende tried to mask his distaste for this development. He kept his face mostly neutral as he asked, “Vegeta determined you were pregnant?”

“He didn’t touch me or anything. He just all of a sudden looked startled and asked Goku.”

Dende said, “Well, it’s early, but let me check and see if I can verify your situation. Let’s go to my…our…quarters.” Dende dusted off his hands and untucked his robes.

Piccolo stopped Dende as he walked past. He bent low to kiss his little mate. Dende met him stiffly. Coldly. Piccolo was undeterred. He kissed more until Dende started to thaw in his arms. Piccolo kissed him and kissed him until Dende panted and yanked him down for more. Piccolo grinned against Dende’s lips and whispered, “That’s more like it. Don’t be crabby, beautiful.”

“I wish he would…not be the way he is.”

“That’s a pretty broad statement,” Piccolo said, and slid his hand on to Dende’s cock, stroking him through his robes. He purred, “Are you naked under your robes again, little Kami?”

“That is none of your concern, darling,” Dende said, but his saucy little smile told Piccolo that he was.

Piccolo nibbled on his earlobe and whispered, “It is very much my concern right now. It’s pretty secluded over here. Mr. Popo is in the kitchens.” Piccolo started gathering folds of Dende’s robes in his hand until he could get his hand underneath them. “Dende, you _are_ naked under your robes…and now that I’m under your robes, I’m not much inclined to leave.” Piccolo dragged his fingertips over Dende’s _theadur_ and up onto his prick. He wrapped his hand around it and made a little lube pour of out of his palm.

Dende gasped and leaned into Piccolo’s broad chest. “Piccolo…gods…no…let’s…let’s go to our room…”

“You sure, beautiful?”

“You’ll make a mess of me,” Dende breathed.

“I’ll clean you up. Magic is useful for public sex, beautiful.”

“Piccolo, how, how does your hand feel so good?”

Piccolo grabbed Dende’s hand and pushed it down the front of his pants. Dende growled and gripped Piccolo hard. He bit Piccolo’s pec though his gi. He stroked Piccolo hard and fast. “Dende, fuck, easy, easy, you’re going to—“

“Darling, let me stroke your cock as I wish,” Dende said in a dark voice that brooked no argument.

Piccolo knew he’d made his own bed, but he didn’t want Dende to come in his hand, or to come in Dende’s hand. He wanted to fuck Dende. He wanted Dende to fuck him. He roughly removed Dende’s hand and moved over to the side of the garden shed, looked around and hoisted Dende up on his hips. Piccolo pulled his prick out and pressed inside Dende’s sheath, thrusted hard into Dende as he pinned his little mate’s arms above is head.

Dende started to cry out. Piccolo’s mouth crushed Dende’s, swallowing the sound. Piccolo felt frantic, unable to tamp down his own desire. Dende kissed him deeply and gasped, “Don’t pull out, Piccolo, I can’t stand if you pull out. I need to feel you come inside me.”

“Dende…no…it’s too…it’s too dangerous…but fuck you feel good!” Piccolo slammed into his mate.

Dende’s breathy cries were driving Piccolo wild and he wanted to come inside him. Dende groaned, “Piccolo, oh fuck, Piccolo, you—you’re going to make me come if you keep that up!” Dende wailed and his sheath started gripping and squeezing Piccolo’s cock.

It felt so good, Piccolo wanted to let it take him all the way through his own orgasm, but he made himself think of Dende, torn and dying from an egg too big for his little body, and Piccolo ripped himself out at the last second, spattering Dende’s cock and thighs with cum. They both screeched with the pain and Piccolo had to use all his strength to keep himself upright, to keep Dende held aloft. 

“Damnit, Piccolo! I told you not to pull out!” Dende struggled free and shoved Piccolo away from him.

“Dende,” Piccolo said, but bent over, clutching his own balls. He took a few deep breaths and then continued, “You would die. I’m not going to kill you so we can have a slightly better time having sex.”

“Then stop fucking my sheath!” Dende said, glaring as he clutched his own cock.

Piccolo felt the words like a stab to the heart. He understood cognitively that it was a reasonable request, given the consequences, but Piccolo unwillingly, despite all his efforts to stuff his feelings down, sobbed.

Dende froze in shock. His mouth fell open and he put a hand on Piccolo’s back. “Piccolo? Is the pain that bad?”

“What? No, I don’t care about the pain. I don’t like when you’re mean to me!”

Dende’s eyes widened. “I’m not being mean to you!”

“Fine. Whatever. I won’t fuck your sheath anymore. I’m going to go train. I’ll see you later tonight.” Piccolo flicked his hand at Dende’s robes and they were clean and cum-free. He adjusted himself and took off, ignoring Dende’s shouting.

* * *

Piccolo trained alone until sunset. He didn’t want to go home and face Dende’s emotions. Piccolo hated his own emotions, but he just felt incompetent and shitty with Dende’s. He wished he hadn’t yelled at Dende, but apologizing felt wrong too. Piccolo squatted, holding his head in his hands and wanting to cry more. Which he also hated.

He groaned as Vegeta’s chi materialized next to him. “Go away, Vegeta, I don’t need any other added complications.”

“I’ll do as I fucking please, Piccolo. Why are you crying?”

“Did you just IT here?”

“Yes. Three days my ass. If I’d realized how easy it was, I would have learned to do this years ago so that clown couldn’t lord it over me.”

“Great. Good for you. Now leave me alone.”

“What did he do? I told that little—“

“Fuck off, Vegeta! I don’t need you meddling in my relationship with Dende. Just leave me alone. I just want to be alone.”

“No you don’t. You’re a shitty liar. What happened this time?”

“Leave me alone!”

“No.”

“Fucking asshole.”

“No argument there.”

“Gods. How did you know I was pregnant? I didn't even know I was pregnant.”

“You smell different. Then I searched your chi and found a tiny one inside you. Just like when Bulma was pregnant.”

“I told him it was smell.”

“Is he fucking _mad_ that I knew you were pregnant?” Vegeta said, and looked genuinely concerned.

“Would you just leave it alone, please?”

“Very well. Congratulations, by the way,” Vegeta said softly and sat down next to Piccolo.

“Thanks. I guess.”

“Piccolo…you…it’ll be okay. It will. It will get easier.”

“I suck at this stuff, Vegeta. I should have just let you knock me up years ago and then foisted you on Bulma.”

“Don’t say that. I never would have left you,” Vegeta said.

“Bullshit,” Piccolo said with a smirk, but when he looked at Vegeta, Vegeta looked wounded. “Oh, come on, Vegeta. I’m just…”

“Did you think that I didn’t love you? Back then? When I asked you?” Vegeta said, his eyes searching Piccolo’s.

“You didn’t.”

“I fucking did. I still do. You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Do you see how I might not have picked up on the love?” Piccolo said with another weak smile, “I don’t want to think about that, Vegeta. I love Dende, I want to be with Dende. I just wish…I wish I’d stop fucking it up.”

Vegeta’s teeth ground audibly. He said, “I’ll see you later. Good luck with the pregnancy.”

“Vegeta, why did you come here?”

“To check on you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re pregnant, but you’re alone, not with your mate.”

Piccolo didn’t know what to say to that. “Oh.”

Vegeta shook his head and started to raise his fingers to his forehead. “When you’re not pregnant, I can teach you the rest of IT. It’s fairly simple. You’ll have it in no time.”

“Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Vegeta.”

“Sorry I beat the shit out of you yesterday,” Vegeta said, and disappeared.

* * *

Piccolo arrived back at the Lookout as the first stars appeared in the sky. Dende sat on the edge, looking out over where Piccolo had been training. “Hey,” Piccolo said, plopping down next to him.

“Hello.”

“You pissed?”

“Why were you with him again?”

“He came to see if I was okay since I was alone and pregnant. He only stayed a minute or two. He said he smelled it. That he could teach me the rest of IT once I wasn’t pregnant.”

“Oh.”

“You pissed?”

“Yes.”

“Because he came to check on me?”

“No.”

“Could we upgrade to sentences? It will go faster,” Piccolo said, trying to sound glib.

“I don’t know why I’m pissed. I’m just…upset.”

“Oh. Okay. I guess. I don’t know what to say, Dende. I didn’t realize me having a friend was going to be such an issue.”

“It isn’t. And he’s not. I don’t know what he is, but he’s not a friend, Piccolo. He’s like some terrifying, sexual guardian demon. I don’t know what Vegeta is, because there’s not a word for it.”

Piccolo sighed and stood up. He could feel the chi inside himself now: it grew by the minute. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to shower and go to bed. Do you want me to sleep with you or should I go back to my place?”

Dende looked up, his eyes filling with tears. “What?! Why would you go back to your place?”

“Why would I stay here? I feel shitty here.”

Dende said, “I don’t want you to feel that way, Piccolo.”

“Yeah, I kind of think you do,” Piccolo said, scrubbing his hands over his face.

Dende hopped up and grabbed Piccolo’s hands. He pulled Piccolo’s arms around himself. “No, I don’t, Piccolo. I was hurt, physically hurt, earlier. I just…I lost my temper. I love you. I don’t want you to stop, but I think…I think you have a higher tolerance for pain than I do, and I would prefer if we could wait to do it again until we know if there’s a better way. It hurts me badly,” Dende said, but his face fell, “Oh…I suppose we can’t go to New Namek now and find out. We’ll have to wait until after you’ve given birth.”

"Are you ever going to tell your family about me?”

“What?”

“Are you just going to keep me a secret? You got so mad at me, saying I was hiding you, that I was embarrassed about you. I never was, I never have been, but you don’t want to bring me to meet your family. You don’t want me to fuck your sheath. What do you want? I probably should have forced this conversation before we became _atheanna_ , since you’re stuck with me now, but I…yeah. It wasn’t fair. I wanted to trap you with me. So you couldn’t leave me,” Piccolo said, his throat tightening, his eyes burning.

Dende pulled them tighter together. “Oh, darling, you don’t need to trap me. I want to be with you forever, my love. _Atheanna_. I…I struggle to deal with my family. As I grew older and felt more…myself…I realized that I don’t think they would approve of me. I…I don’t want to change, but it still hurts me that they might reproach me. I also feared it would hurt you if they were less than welcoming. Which…they will be. I wish it weren’t so, darling, but it will be. I…once…long ago, mentioned my growing affection for you to one of my cousins. He was horrified and angry. He told me that it was shameful to love the person who had taken Nail. I don’t feel that way, truly, Piccolo, but I…I can’t delude myself into thinking they will suddenly warm to you after all these years.”

Dende moved his hands up behind Piccolo’s neck and pulled him down and tried to share _peluwsa_ with him. Piccolo turned away. Dende said, “I love you, Piccolo. With all my heart. Come, let’s go to bed. I can feel how tired you are, even though you’re pushing me out.”

“I don’t…I don’t want to fight every fucking day, Dende,” Piccolo said. 

Dende kissed him softly. “I’m sorry, Piccolo. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings earlier.”

“Can I send Vegeta to New Namek to find out the fertility stuff?” Piccolo said, his whole body tensed and ready for a fight. “I don’t want to wait until I’m not pregnant. I want to know what’s safe to do as the drive to fuck while I’m pregnant gets stronger and stronger.”

Dende blinked at him. “Oh. Um. Do you…do you think he would?”

“Yeah, Vegeta’s not easily embarrassed. And the bartender would likely feel less weird explaining to a non-Namek.”

“I’ll go with him.”

“What?!” Piccolo croaked.

“I’ll go with him, if he’s willing to take me.”

“Dende, do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“What’s the worst that can happen?” Dende asked, with a little nonchalant shrug.

“He murders you on a foreign planet?”

“Oh, Piccolo, he won’t murder me. He loves you too much to do that.”

“You two need to stop saying that! Gods! I’m going to bed!”

“I can go tonight. Ask him. He could take me tonight and we could be home in no time. I can bring us dinner.”

“Dende…” Piccolo said, so tired. He didn’t know if it was pregnancy or having so many fucking feelings, but he just wanted to be unconscious.

“I can speak to him telepathically, too, Piccolo, but he will take the request better coming from you,” Dende said, forcing a little kiss on Piccolo. Then getting one in return. They kissed more, more heatedly.

Piccolo sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day. _Vegeta?_

_What_? Vegeta said, surly and clearly still pissed at Piccolo.

_Will you go to New Namek and ask someone a question for me? A sex question?_

_You want me to go to a foreign planet for some kink?_

_No, you asshole, it’s a…fertility…question. Please? Dende wants to go with you._

_Oh for fuck’s sake, really? Now?_

_Yeah, he’s…it would help me out. Please?_

Vegeta appeared next to them and they both startled. “Come on, Dende, let’s go. You know what I’m asking?”

“Oh, uh, yes, can I have a moment to change?”

“Fuck all, are we having a night out?”

“If you wish,” Dende said, flaring a nostril with a little smirk.

“Careful, little Namek, if you get a taste for me, you might find yourself in situations kinkier than fingering your boyfriend at a barbecue.”

Dende blushed up to his antennae. Piccolo rolled his eyes, put his hand on Dende’s head, and he was suddenly in a flowy tunic in a salmon pink color with another pair of glittery skinny jeans, a knee high pair of black leather boots clinging to his shapely calves. He glanced down and said, “Oh!”

“Oh, indeed,” Vegeta said and his eyes flitted up Dende’s lithe body. “Let’s go. Think of the place you wish me to take you. Clear your mind of everything else.” Vegeta held out his hand.

Piccolo gave Dende a peck on the cheek. Vegeta’s eyes slid to Piccolo, and Piccolo couldn’t read his expression. How could Vegeta still baffle him all these years later? Dende kissed him on the mouth, possessively. Now Vegeta rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. Dende took his hand, and they were gone.

Piccolo showered and climbed naked in bed, his hand over his belly. He expected Dende back at any minute. But he was too tired to wait. His eyelids fell and seconds later he fell asleep.

* * *

“Daaarling…” Dende’s voice slurred in Piccolo’s ear. “Darling? You ‘wake?”

“I am now,” Piccolo grumbled and rolled over to find Dende poised above him, in tight, silky boxers and his boots. Which would have been fine, except Vegeta was sprawled facedown across the foot of their bed like some overlarge pet. “What the hell?” He stared for a moment at Vegeta. Vegeta’s tail was back, and even Vegeta’s tail looked drunk.

“Shit, I better call Bulma,” Piccolo said, but when he tried to get out of bed, Dende tackled him, and knocked him on the floor. “Dende, what are you—“

Dende cut him off, pushing their mouths together, his hand fumbling at Piccolo’s crotch. He kissed Piccolo lustily, if sloppily. Dende had a raging hard-on as he clambered above Piccolo who was mostly on the floor, but had one leg stuck in the sheets. “Dende!” Piccolo managed to squeak out between aggressive kisses.

Dende gasped, “I want it with the boots on,” and kissed Piccolo more.

“Dende! Vegeta is in our room! He’s on our fucking bed!”

“Who fucking cares?! Fuck me, please, Piccolo. I need you to fuck me rough.”

Piccolo was still in shock, but his prick didn’t care at all. It heard Dende’s pleas and sprang to life. Piccolo growled, ripped Dende’s boxers off, and put him on the edge of the bed. He pressed Dende’s knees practically up to his ears, kissed him more, and stroked his cock. At least Dende wasn’t too drunk to get hard. Piccolo lubed himself and growled, “You want a warm up?”

“Rough, _atheanna_! Stop asking me questions and fucking fuck me!”

Piccolo slapped Dende’s ass hard enough that Vegeta’s tail stirred, but not the rest of him. He teased Dende with his head, slipped inside him a little and pulled back out, until Dende was growling and swearing and yanking at Piccolo. Piccolo laughed and used chi binding to pin his hands stretched high over his head, and in a fit of creative sexuality, he even put big rings holding Dende’s knees up and wide.

Dende grinned and hissed, “Yeeessss!”

Piccolo thrust slowly and deeply inside Dende, raking his claws down the back of his mate’s thighs. “I like the boots, beautiful.”

“Gods, me too. So many people hit on me. It was amazing.”

“What?!” Piccolo said, pulling his dick out completely.

“No, no, Piccolo, please, darling, please fuck me, it felt so good to have your cock in me. I love when your cock is in me. I’ll fuck you too, my love. My darling. My _atheanna,_ ” Dende’s words had more drawl than they had even on that first night out. How much had he and Vegeta had to drink? Why did they have anything? What time was it? Piccolo thought they were just going to ask a question and be right back.

“Dende, you just told me…that…that…were you fucking flirting with other men?”

“Not intentionally! Please, Piccolo, can you fuck me and then I’ll tell you anything you want, I just…I need to get off! I’ve been thinking about you all day, about how much I love you. About how much I love fucking you. I want to be better than him, Piccolo. Please, fuck me and tell me I’m better.”

“You are better,” Piccolo growled and slammed back into Dende hard. “You want it rough?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Dende slurred.

Piccolo thrust into him, dragging the top of his cock slowly over Dende’s p-spot, pulled out again, and drove back inside him. Dende’s ab muscles quivered as he tried to use them to lift his ass up whenever Piccolo pulled out of him. Piccolo spanked him hard and said, “Hold still, beautiful. I want to fuck you into the ground.” Piccolo shifted to be half above Dende so he could pound down into his little lover.

Piccolo pistoned into Dende, kissing him fiercely, and with his free hand, he twisted Dende’s nipple so hard that Dende yelped, but their antennae were touching now and Dende _loved_ what Piccolo was doing to him. Piccolo loved it too, even if he was a little irritated that his mate and his ex had just maybe had a fun night out at a bar while Piccolo was at home, sad and pregnant.

Dende came hard with a wail and the way his ass squeezed Piccolo felt so good Piccolo followed immediately, pulsing deep in Dende’s core, reveling in the feeling of filling his lover with his seed after the awful sensation of pulling out earlier in the day. As Piccolo gasped and cried out, Vegeta snorted, raised his head blearily, turned to Piccolo and Dende, who were less than two feet away from him, and reared back, falling off the bed in a heap. 

“Oh shit!” Dende cried and started giggling with a hand over his mouth. “Keep fucking me, Piccolo, I’m about to come again!”

“What?!” Piccolo said, suddenly horrified that he’d done this with Vegeta in the room.

“He’s too drunk to care. Fuck me harder, darling! Slap my ass!”

Piccolo’s cock did feel incredible inside Dende and Dende’s ass just kept spasming so deliciously on him that he shrugged, smacked Dende’s ass over and over, every time Piccolo thrust deep inside him. Dende shuddered and bellowed, “Fuck, yes! Piccolo, oh fuck, yes! Hit it! Hit it, darling! Fuck that ass!”

Piccolo’s eyes widened and he gave Dende a final vicious slap and deep, hard thrust, and they both spiraled into orgasm together again. Dende’s muscles thrummed as he tried to escape his bonds. Piccolo released him and he wrapped around Piccolo, pleading for more fucking and declaring his love incoherently in such slurred speech that Piccolo thought it was maybe time to fly Vegeta home, and let his mate sleep it off.

Piccolo cleaned them up, but when he turned to go back into the bathroom, Dende tackled him again, slipping his fingers into Piccolo’s sheath. Piccolo gave a startled cry, but Dende purred, “I can’t get enough of you, Piccolo. Oh my gods, your _theadur_ , can I put my tongue in you, darling?”

“Dende! Gods! Aren’t you tired?” Piccolo’s insatiable oral desire was awake now and screaming at Piccolo to take Dende up on his drunken offer.

Dende licked down Piccolo’s body and said, “Oh, darling, you taste so good, can I just fuck you all night? Sleep is so overrated when you have a Piccolo.” Dende’s tongue curled inside Piccolo with no preamble.

Piccolo pulled his knees up and clutched at Dende’s head. Dende fought his hold and purred, “Perhaps this is what you need, hmmm? Is it darling? Is this what you need to placate you?”

“What? I don’t need placating. Just, fuck, don’t…don’t stop, please…” Piccolo growled. 

Dende started lapping at him, but wouldn’t slide his tongue back inside Piccolo. But a shuddering, drunk thought filtered up into Piccolo’s mind. Piccolo was too tired and too horny to deny Dende, so he gripped Dende’s skull with both hands and held him in place, his hips bucking up toward that devilish mouth, and Piccolo groaned, “Put your tongue in my sheath!”

Dende hummed happily and finally gave Piccolo what he needed. Piccolo gasped and melted against Dende, now clutching at him of his own volition, no control kink of Dende’s necessary. He used one hand to reach down under Dende’s hot mouth. He used his fingers to open himself more. Dende growled, “Fuck, yes, darling, yes, fuck yes. I’m going to finish you, then I’m going to fuck you.”

Piccolo whimpered and pleaded, “More, tongue me more, beautiful, holy shit, I’m so close!” Piccolo’s fingers opened his _theadur_ more fully for Dende. Dende’s tongue fucked into him as his fangs grazed the exterior of Piccolo’s sheath. Piccolo lost control, screaming and coming, his _theadur_ and his prick. Semen flew everywhere, and Dende slithered up his body, Piccolo’s hand caught between them. Dende’s hot, hard dick slid into Piccolo and brushed along Piccolo’s fingers. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy fucking shit, Dende, I’m still, I’m still…I’m still coming!” Piccolo choked out, another jet of cum splattering them both.

Dende fucked him savagely, slapping Piccolo’s ass, and he kissed Piccolo with some fang, making Piccolo’s lips bleed. Dende growled, “I put that baby in you, darling, because you’re _mine_! And I’m going to fuck you every second until that baby comes out. I’m going to fuck you so well, darling.”

Piccolo let Dende drunkenly ramble and tried to focus on how great it felt to be fucked while pregnant. Dende was fucking him well, at least, and Piccolo still twitched and clenched from his massive orgasm, which only made it feel better.

Piccolo saw motion in the corner of his eye and turned. “Oh fuck!” Vegeta said, and fell back down on the floor.

Piccolo wanted to stop when Vegeta’s head popped up, but Dende shoved him back down and spanked Piccolo’s ass hard. He sort of saw the appeal of being spanked. Dende did it again and groaned, “Fuck, fuck, I’m coming, darling, come on my cock!”

Piccolo rolled Dende onto his back mid-orgasm and rode him hard, bashing down on his little lover. Dende thrust up, screaming so loudly Piccolo yanked him into a kiss just to shut him up, and then Piccolo climaxed, his whole body shivering with his release.

They kissed a long moment, and then to Piccolo’s horror, Dende began to snore. Dende had fallen asleep mid-kiss. Piccolo got off him, cleaned them up, and looked at Vegeta, who was passed out again on the floor. Piccolo was so tired he didn’t really want to deal with Vegeta. He threw a blanket over his drunken friend, and sent Bulma a text that Vegeta was drunk, but fine, and crawled into bed. He wrapped around Dende, who even in his sleep must’ve been horny. He curled into Piccolo’s arms, grabbed Piccolo’s prick, and continued to snore. Piccolo thought he would have trouble falling asleep with the many mysteries of what Dende and Vegeta had done in Yapuural, but he dropped off quickly, even though he was hard in his mate’s hand.


	15. What Happened in Yapuural

Piccolo woke to heated kissing in the dark. The moon had disappeared and it was pouring rain outside, so Piccolo and Dende were cloaked in blackness. The kissing grew more insistent and Piccolo’s mind came farther out of the fog of pregnant sleep. Dende took Piccolo’s cock in hand and started stroking it. Dende didn't taste like himself—he tasted like _giyaka_ , of all things, which certainly explained his drunkenness. His hand felt different too. Rougher. Bigger.

“Don’t hog him,” Dende’s voice said. But how could Dende talk? Dende was kissing Piccolo. Piccolo ran his tongue along the kisser’s teeth and realized with horror that Dende was _not_ kissing him—the kisser’s fangs were smaller. Piccolo’s eyes flew open, but he couldn’t see a thing in the inky black of their room.

Then the kisser was shoved roughly aside and Dende, Piccolo’s mate, was kissing him, his fangs, his supple tongue. Piccolo’s mind raced. He had no idea what was happening. Was he dreaming? He groped for the night before, but that went out the window as someone’s mouth wrapped around Piccolo’s cock, swallowed him whole. 

“What the fuck is happening?” Piccolo spluttered against Dende’s lips, as eye-watering with _giyaka_ as the other kisser’s mouth had been. 

“Shush, darling…gods, I just want to fuck you every single way.”

“Dende!” Piccolo cried with alarm as the blow job continued even while Dende kissed him.

“Shut up, Piccolo, for once in your fucking life,” Vegeta growled, and then the mouth was back on Piccolo's cock. _Vegeta’s_ mouth was back on his cock. _Oh fuck!_ Piccolo’s mind raced. Why was Vegeta’s mouth on Piccolo’s prick?

“He’s right, darling, just shush. Gods, you taste so good…”

“Doesn’t he?” Vegeta slurred before going back to sucking Piccolo’s dick quite expertly.

“Vegeta! What are you—“

Dende jammed his tongue in Piccolo’s mouth and straddled Piccolo. His claws dragged hard down Piccolo’s arms as Piccolo grabbed his waist to move him so he could remove Vegeta from his prick, as he was rapidly losing motivation to stop Vegeta’s blow job. Dende pulled Piccolo’s hand into his crotch, shoved his fingers in Dende’s sheath. 

“Fuck, Dende!”

“Yes, Piccolo, that is the idea,” Vegeta growled in another brief, dick-sucking pause.

Piccolo gave in to fingering Dende because his tight, velvety heat felt so good. “Fucking sit on my face, Dende, so I don’t have to keep talking to Vegeta!”

Dende fumbled around, tried to sit on Piccolo’s face, fell over, and giggled. He slapped Piccolo’s chest, “Darling, let’s…let’s put both our _theadurs_ on Vegeta’s cock and see what happens.”

“What?!” Piccolo said, but Vegeta was unfortunately amazing at giving head and Piccolo couldn’t focus with him going to town. It felt amazing but Piccolo didn't want to upset Dende, so he cried, “Vegeta! Stop sucking my dick!”

Vegeta gave a little shake to his head that Piccolo could only feel in the pitch black. Piccolo formed a chi ball to light the room and sent a few to light candles that Dende had around the room.

Dende was drunkenly kicking off his boots. He got the second one off and shoved Vegeta’s naked ass. Vegeta’s hips twisted, revealing his hard-on. Dende flopped on his side and started sucking Vegeta’s cock.

“Dende!” Piccolo screeched.

“Stop complaining and complete the triangle, darling. Or would your rather have Vegeta’s cock in your mouth and his mouth on my cock?” Dende’s face was completely earnest as he asked this question.

“Can’t we…can't we talk about this?” Piccolo said his eyes going back and forth between Dende and Vegeta, trying to get Vegeta to look at him, but Vegeta was merciless. “Fuck, Vegeta, you're going to make me come! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Piccolo groaned and couldn’t even resist the orgasm that wracked his body as he came in his former lover’s mouth.

Dende seemed to enjoy that more than Piccolo could with the stress of having both of them all over him. Dende shoved Vegeta out of the way and took Piccolo’s cock in his mouth. Vegeta intercepted Dende’s face and kissed him. Dende wrapped his arms around Vegeta’s neck and kissed him back. Soon they were frotting while Dende gave Piccolo a lazy handy. Vegeta used his free hand to wrap around Dende’s on Piccolo’s cock.

Vegeta looked up at Piccolo while Dende kissed down his neck and slurred, “Stop worrying, you big, beautiful bastard. Come on, have sex with us. Look how sexy he is, Piccolo? Don’t you want to have sex with him? Come on, come on, come on, come have sex! Let’s all fuck until we pass out!”

Dende giggled madly and kissed down Vegeta’s body and started sucking his prick again. Piccolo felt like he’d woken up in some bizarre chimera of a hot sex dream and a nightmare. Vegeta growled, “Come here, little Namek, let’s see if we can’t make our big, green dope love on us together,” and pulled Dende up to his mouth again.

Dende caressed Vegeta’s face and murmured against his lips, pouting dramatically, “Do you not like how I suck dick, Vegeta?”

“You’re doing an excellent job of it, but I really want to watch you fuck him.”

“Oh? How shall I fuck him? I thought you wanted to fuck him too?” Dende slurred and shoved Piccolo’s legs apart.

“Dende! Vegeta! Both of you, just, just…just…”

“Be quiet if you aren’t moaning or calling our names, that’s all you have to do,” Vegeta growled and kissed Piccolo roughly, trailing his calloused hand over Piccolo’s cheek.

Dende nodded and said, “He’s right, darling, just enjoy yourself. You worry all the time. Stop worrying. We’re having a lovely time, aren’t we, Vegeta?”

“Yes, but we’d be having a lovelier…more lovely? Lovey-er? I don’t know, whatever, but it would be better if he would stop worrying. Dende, come here, maybe he’d feel better if we fucked first? You want my cock, little Namek? Or my ass?”

“No! I would not feel better if you two fucked first!” Piccolo cried. “I’m not drunk and you guys are really drunk. Like, really, really, regret-this-all-tomorrow drunk.”

Dende pulled away from Vegeta’s kiss and said, and even managed not to slur, “No we’re not, silly. We’re drunk, certainly, but we’re perfectly aware of what we’re doing. We won’t have regrets. This is what we both wanted, right, Vegeta?”

“Yes, little Namek and big Namek together, so delicious. We decided before we got drunk, Piccolo. He’s very persuasive. Gods, can we stop talking though? I want to fuck you both. Possibly in multiple configurations. What is the fucking fun of having sex with aliens if we can’t really go wild? If I wanted to have a boring three-way, I’d just pick up a couple of humans. But I want to have a _fun_ three-way,” Vegeta said and kissed back and forth between Dende and Piccolo. 

Vegeta’s hand stroked Piccolo’s cock while Vegeta continued to frot with Dende. Piccolo watched Vegeta’s beautiful bronze cock slide up against Dende’s green one and he couldn't contain the moan that escaped him. Pre-cum poured out of Dende and Vegeta, making their pricks glisten and frot more smoothly. Piccolo’s dick was making the decisions, as he was completely hard again already, and Dende joined Vegeta so they were both touching him now. Piccolo said, “So…I…”

Vegeta dove to kiss Piccolo, cutting him off. Dende moved behind Vegeta and Piccolo groaned at the possibility of seeing them fuck. Vegeta kissed down Piccolo’s jaw and straddled Piccolo, spreading himself and sticking his ass in the air. Vegeta purred, “Oh, Dende, I think we found the secret combination…”

“Darling, do you want me to fuck Vegeta’s tight, beautiful ass?” Dende crooned and slapped Vegeta’s cheek emphatically, bent his head, and rimmed Vegeta.

Piccolo wondered if this was some kind of elaborate trap. But Vegeta had already sucked Piccolo off. Piccolo whispered, “Are…are you going to be mad at me if I say yes?”

Dende shoved Vegeta out of the way, and Vegeta was drunk enough that he simply flopped off to the side, but he groped Dende’s ass with an appreciative growl. “Darling, I’ll be the opposite of mad, I’ll be turned on. Can’t you try to have fun?”

“I guess?” Piccolo said, warily.

“Perfect, my love,” Dende said and kissed Piccolo more. Vegeta rested his head on Piccolo’s belly and started sucking on Dende’s cock while stroking Piccolo’s. 

“Can…can he fuck my ass while you fuck his?” Piccolo said, preparing for Dende’s wrath.

Dende crooned, “Oooo, yes, _atheanna_ , yes! I _told_ you, Vegeta, that he would want you to be the cream filling. You owe me a drink!”

“Right now? Can’t I suck your cock instead?” Vegeta said, so drunk that he was…mellow. Piccolo forgot that sometimes alcohol made Vegeta completely silly and mellow.

Dende slapped Vegeta’s shoulder and said, “Oh, Vegeta, I just thought of something! Once the egg is born, do you think Bulma would watch it so all three of us could go back to Yapuural? Like a baby-moon? Wouldn’t it be fun to dance with Piccolo together?”

Vegeta said, “That would be very fucking hot, little Namek. And of course Bulma would watch the egg, my woman is fantastic. She will be jealous though, so someday, we should invite her too. Bulma is very good at giving head. And everything else in the bedroom for that matter. Piccolo loves her tits too, though he won’t admit it.”

“That’s not true! I do love her tits. I hate how _you_ behave when I love _on_ her tits. You turn into a complete asshole,” Piccolo grumbled.

“That is true. Because she likes your tongue so well. I get jealous,” Vegeta said, still lounging on Piccolo, but he turned a happy, drunken smirk on Piccolo, his face full of adoration and…love.

Dende groaned as Vegeta went back to blowing him. Dende kissed Piccolo and pinched his nipples. Piccolo gasped as Vegeta’s hand worked his prick. Vegeta pulled off Dende again and said, “Little Namek, what did we decide about _theadurs_? That part is a little, tiny bit foggy for me. Can I finger him while I blow you?”

“Gods, did…did you guys plan this?” Piccolo said breaking the kiss with Dende reluctantly. He loved kissing Dende.

“Shhh…” Dende said and pressed his lips to Piccolo’s. After a minute he said, “I don’t care, Vegeta, he’s already carrying my child, so it’s up to him. He’s mine and your dick won’t change that.”

“Wait, what…what?” Piccolo stammered before Dende could bamboozle him again with kissing, Vegeta adding to Piccolo’s compliance with a nice, rough handy. Vegeta’s hands were excellent. Piccolo had forgotten about that.

Vegeta wiggled out from under Dende and pulled Dende off Piccolo, pulled Dende right onto his lap. He frotted with Dende more and stroked them together. “Mmm…you have a very nice prick, Dende,” Vegeta purred and kissed Dende, “I want you to come all over my belly.”

“Look at your body, Vegeta,” Dende said and caressed Vegeta’s marvelous torso.

“You as well, you lithe little thing, Dende. Gods, how did it take him this long to take you to bed? You could have been joining our foursomes for years,” Vegeta said, trailing his finger down the split in Dende’s cut abs.

Piccolo slapped himself hard across the face. Both men turned and looked at him with bewildered, if slightly bleary, eyes. “Sorry. Sorry. I…holy shit,” Piccolo said.

Vegeta palmed one of Dende’s little ass cheeks and Piccolo groaned just seeing it. What was happening to him? He didn’t even think this was something that would appeal to him, but watching the two of them, just watching, was making him pour pre-cum, and even his fucking sheath was twitching.

Dende bit down Vegeta’s neck and purred, “Are you going to let me fuck that well-muscled ass of yours, Vegeta? Or are you going to jerk us both off? Because this feels shockingly good.” Dende bucked up into Vegeta’s hand and Piccolo saw Vegeta’s eyelids fall heavy with pleasure. Vegeta loved frotting.

“Gods, yes, I want you to fuck me while I fuck him. How do you want me to fuck you, Piccolo?” Vegeta said, crawling back to kiss Piccolo more.

“I…I don’t even know what would happen if you fucked my sheath, Vegeta. Dende…are you…are you seriously okay with that?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be? You’re _mine_ , I claimed you as my _atheanna_ and I put a baby in you, you’re my _mate_. He’s just visiting. Do whatever you’d like _atheanna_ , darling. I think it might be quite hot to watch him fuck you a bit before I fuck him. I bet his ass looks fantastic while he’s thrusting,” Dende said, and didn’t even sound that drunk, but he gave Vegeta a brisk slap on the ass. Vegeta smirked over his shoulder at Dende, then went back to kissing Piccolo.

Dende lubed himself and got on his knees behind Vegeta. He giggled and said, “Oh! Now you get to see how Piccolo feels getting fucked by us, because I’m even shorter than you, Vegeta, so you’ll have to spread a little.”

Vegeta chuckled. He folded Piccolo’s legs up and out of his way as he got between them, spreading his own legs wider so his ass was lower for Dende.

Piccolo whispered, “Is my ass okay, Vegeta? I…I don’t know about my _theadur_.”

“Whatever you want, _darling_ ,” Vegeta said, with a little drunken chortle. “I just like fucking you, because you’re my best friend.”

“That’s…nice…” Piccolo said. A flare of terror burned through him that this would break Vegeta’s heart somehow, that he would feel worse, not better, after this. If Vegeta loved Piccolo as he had recently insisted he had, would this hurt him in the long run?

Vegeta caressed Piccolo’s face and slurred, “I’m fine, Piccolo. Good gods, you really can’t stop worrying, can you?” Vegeta yelped and said, “Gods, Dende, not even a warm-up? You _do_ like things rough, don’t you? I haven’t been fucked in months and you just rammed into me!”

“Well, why didn’t you say so? The way you’re waggling your ass at me, you’re practically gaping. I thought you were ready to go, little Saiyan,” Dende said. He plunged hard into Vegeta. He curled over Vegeta’s back, squeezing his ass, and groaned, “Fuck, I see why he enjoyed fucking your ass—what are you even doing? Is that just good muscle control?”

“Yes, you too can train your pelvic floor muscles. Your dick feels amazing, little Namek,” Vegeta groaned and rocked back against Dende.

Dende thrust into Vegeta again and again, and Piccolo’s worries burned away in the firestorm of lust that whipped over him. Vegeta took hold of Piccolo’s cock again and growled, “Can you lube me up, Piccolo?”

Piccolo made lube in his palm and used it to make Vegeta’s very hard cock slippery as he fucked Piccolo’s fist in time with Dende’s thrusts. “Fuck, Piccolo, I’ve missed you…”

Vegeta met Piccolo’s eyes. Piccolo held them, searched them. He swallowed hard and gave a little nod. Vegeta groaned as Dende drove into him harder and Piccolo tapped the bed, made a platform to raise Piccolo up at an angle so Vegeta could fuck him and allow Dende to keep fucking him doggy-style.

“Fuck, Dende, Piccolo said you’d never fucked anyone before,” Vegeta groaned, “but you’re fucking me like a pro. Gods, I didn’t realize how much I missed cock. Hold on, let me get inside Piccolo.” Dende stilled and Piccolo watched his little mate run his hands over Vegeta’s back before bending and biting along Vegeta’s spine.

Piccolo gasped as Vegeta slid inside him. Vegeta felt so different from Dende, even if it was familiar. Piccolo could barely process everything he felt as Dende’s eyes met his, and his little mate smirked at him and said, “See, darling? Isn’t this fun?” Dende spanked Vegeta again and said, “Are you ready to get pounded, little Saiyan?”

Vegeta chuckled and kissed all over Piccolo’s chest before sucking Piccolo’s nipple hard enough that Piccolo writhed. Vegeta purred, “You think you can _pound_ a Saiyan? Good luck, little Namek. I’m going to pound your mate, and I guess I’ll see what you’re made of…”

Piccolo’s eyes shot to Dende, worried he would be offended, but he looked positively delighted as he slammed into Vegeta, hissing with pleasure. Vegeta found a rhythm with Dende and drove into Piccolo. Piccolo gasped, “Fuck, Vegeta…”

“Maybe when I’m done fucking you, _vku-karam._ ”

Vegeta was even drunker than Piccolo realized if he was using Saiyan endearments.

“Fuck him harder, Vegeta,” Dende pleaded.

“Then you better fuck me harder, Dende,” Vegeta said, smirking over his shoulder.

Piccolo wanted to be concerned and care about the long-term well-being of his mate and his best friend, but it felt too good to get fucked by Vegeta while watching Dende fuck Vegeta to care about anything except the fucking. Piccolo curled up to kiss Vegeta, but used his long arms to grip Dende’s ass, pull him harder into Vegeta.

“Fuck, yes, _atheanna_ , yes!” Dende cried.

Vegeta was hitting Piccolo’s p-spot hard and it felt amazing enough on its own, but then Vegeta took hold of Piccolo’s cock and he roared, “Vegeta, fuck, no, you’ll make me come!”

“Yes, _vku-karam_ , that’s the idea,” Vegeta purred, bending to suck one of Piccolo’s nipples, biting it a little.

“I like when you speak Saiyan, Vegeta, do it more!” Dende panted and rammed into Vegeta even harder, the impact shuddering into Piccolo, so it was like Dende was fucking right through Vegeta into him. That thought alone was hot enough that Piccolo bit his tongue to keep from coming.

Vegeta growled out a screed of Saiyan against Piccolo’s skin. He let go of Piccolo’s cock and bruised Piccolo’s hips with a powerful grip, bringing his own considerable fucking talents to bear on Piccolo’s prostate. It was a huge relief when he heard Dende cry out, “Fuck, yes, Vegeta, your ass!”

Vegeta roared in turn and filled Piccolo as he came. Vegeta pleaded, “ _Vku-karam_ , come for me, come, Piccolo, please!”

Piccolo obliged, and his eyes met Vegeta’s. Vegeta’s expression was unreadable and Piccolo shied away from the intensity in his eyes, searching out Dende’s instead. They were intense too, a huge, smug smirk on his face as Piccolo shivered with aftershocks. Piccolo seemed to attract small, smirking men. Dende gave Vegeta a final, resounding slap and pulled out of him, falling off to Piccolo’s side and snuggling against him, snoring within seconds.

Vegeta collapsed on Piccolo, kissing his chest more, and muttered in Saiyan. He stared into Piccolo’s face as he pulled out. He leaned up and kissed Piccolo, brushed his lips over Dende’s sleeping forehead, and flopped on Piccolo’s other side. Piccolo said, “Vegeta? You okay?”

“Hmm? Yes, that was amazing.”

“But…like…not the sex. But _you_?”

“Of course, Piccolo. I’m always okay. I always survive,” Vegeta said.

Piccolo said, “I know, but you know that isn’t what I mean.”

Vegeta didn’t respond, feigning sleep in Piccolo’s armpit, but Piccolo knew his best friend was awake like Piccolo, thinking. Piccolo ventured, “What happened on Yapuural?”

“G’night, Piccolo,” Vegeta mumbled and snuggled deeper into Piccolo’s embrace.

Piccolo sighed and muttered, “Fucking hell,” and tried to quiet his mind enough to sleep.

* * *

The rain continued through the night and Piccolo woke to gray, dreary light, Dende and Vegeta both curled around him like two boozy house cats. How much _giyaka_ had they had? Piccolo felt a little drunk just _smelling_ them. He flushed remembering the night before and wondered if either of his companions would remember, or if all hell was about to break loose when they woke up.

But they didn’t wake up. Piccolo didn’t want to move and wake them prematurely, hoping that the longer they slept, the less hungover they’d be, and therefore, he prayed to the Lord of Lords, less hostile. Piccolo’s abdomen felt full and tight, and he was a little nauseated. And he really needed to pee.

He closed his eyes and willed himself not to be bothered by either sensation, but the nausea was rapidly transforming into an unbearable need to actually vomit. He didn’t know how long he lasted, but he finally slithered out from between his alcohol-soaked lovers and rushed to the bathroom. He threw up and peed, drank some water and returned to find them snuggled together. 

Piccolo debated just leaving them and going to train, but somehow he was still exhausted, so he shoved them apart and wrapped them back around his big body. He looked down and realized he could already see his stomach rounding. The baby’s chi was even larger today.

Vegeta nuzzled up under Piccolo’s chin and started kissing his neck. His powerful arm slid around Piccolo’s waist and squeezed, but when his hand found Dende, Vegeta sat up, bleary-eyed and blinking. His brows furrowed for a moment and then shot up and he mumbled, “Oh…right. Gods, you fucking Nameks know how to make a drink,” and slumped back into cuddling Piccolo.

“Are you _still_ drunk?”

“Maybe a bit. Not much. Mostly hungover. Dende still asleep?”

“Yeah, he’s probably going to be hurting more than you.”

“My ass is hurting. Gods, the little Namek is rough.”

“Yeah, he can be. I think you liked it.”

“Mmm…maybe. You okay? Sorry. I guess we sort of mauled you last night,” Vegeta said with a contented sigh as he readjusted and wrapped a leg around Piccolo’s.

This wasn’t how Piccolo expected Vegeta to react. Vegeta could be very mellow after alcohol, especially when good sex was involved, but sometimes he was crabby. Piccolo expected irritation at the very least when Vegeta woke. Some regret. A bout of blame. But Vegeta just seemed…content. Maybe a little amused, even.

“It was…fine,” Piccolo said, not knowing what else to say.

“Oh gods, I didn’t fuck your sheath, did I? Some of the details are blurry. Not gone, but blurry,” Vegeta said, but didn’t move. His hand moved lazily up and down Piccolo’s belly, it spread wide over the new rise. “Ah! There he is. I feel him growing.”

“Right? It’s weird,” Piccolo said.

Dende sat up suddenly and looked around. His eyes grew wide and he met Piccolo’s eyes. Piccolo waited, holding his breath. Dende grinned and kissed him and said, “Oh, good morning, darling. Are you okay? I believe Vegeta and I thought we were very persuasive last night when maybe we were just pushy.”

Dende shocked Piccolo right down to his toes as he leaned and kissed Vegeta. Piccolo could feel that it shocked Vegeta too, his whole body stiffening with surprise. Dende pulled away and kissed Piccolo.

Piccolo said, “Yeah, you guys were pretty pushy, but I’m fine. What the fuck did you guys get up to on Yapuural?” But before Piccolo could get an answer, he sprang to the bathroom and puked again. Piccolo didn’t like this development. Would he puke through his whole pregnancy?

“Oh, darling,” Dende said, rubbing Piccolo’s back as he heaved. “It seems unfair that you didn’t have a drop to drink and are puking. We should be puking, but somehow aren’t.”

Vegeta came staggering in and joined Dende in comforting Piccolo.When Piccolo finished vomiting, they took turns peeing, and crawled back in bed. They stared at him and he moved between them again. “Um, now can I have an explanation? Before I hurl again.”

Vegeta and Dende started laughing. Vegeta said, “Well…we really did mean to just ask the bartender, but then your little _atheanna_ suggested that we couldn’t drink because I would never be able to handle Namek liquor.”

Dende giggled and wheezed out, “Which turned out to be true!”

“You fell asleep practically _while_ fucking because _you_ can’t hold your liquor, little Namek!” Vegeta growled, but Piccolo could feel him grinning against Piccolo’s pec. “Anyway, so we had a few of those awful _giyaka_ things, then he threw down another challenge and said that I wouldn’t be able to learn Namek dancing.”

“Oh, darling, he did, though, I was thoroughly surprised, Vegeta was quite adept on the dance-floor,” Dende said, his hand splaying out on Piccolo’s belly, touching Vegeta’s. Piccolo still felt like maybe he was hallucinating. Maybe Vegeta had hit him in the head harder than he realized?

“I _like_ Namek dancing, you little shit, and I propose we take Bulma the next time we go. I think she’ll look excellent shaking her pert ass and beautiful breasts, don’t you agree?”

“I do! We can wait until Piccolo has the egg. Maybe Mr. Popo would egg-sit,” Dende said.

“Um…” Piccolo tried to cut in.

Vegeta continued right over him. “So we danced and got very drunk. We asked the bartender all manner of completely lewd questions about Namek sexuality. We got the bartender drunk enough that he had to call in reinforcements. Then the three of us danced for a while. We had a final round and they kicked us out.”

“But…then…why…um…why did you guys…”

“Shush, darling,” Dende said, giving Piccolo a little kiss, “So Drill, the bartender, he joined our merry afterparty as we made for the streets. Vegeta was bemoaning the fact that you hadn’t wanted to mate with him. And I asked how Saiyans mated anyway. And he said that you couldn’t have _really_ mated anyway, because his tail got cut off.”

Piccolo’s heart thundered in his ears. Vegeta’s tail. Which, if Piccolo was not mistaken, was wrapped tightly around Piccolo’s thigh at this very moment. When had _that_ happened?

Vegeta picked up the thread of the story. “That was when Drill suggested we round up the dragon balls and get my tail back. We complained that we didn’t know how to find them, but he did, so we did, and we wished my tail back! He wished to be younger, and Dende—“

“Shush, Vegeta!” Dende hissed.

“Oh, come on, little Namek, it’s only fair he knows—“

“Oh fine,” Dende said with a little wave of his hand.

“Dende wished that you two could stay mated and pair-bonded, but be able to have sex however you wished, without _theadur_ pain. Basically so he could get fucked without having to get pregnant. Porunga was a bit confused, but they worked it out. It was an elaborate wish and Porunga only humored Dende because of his service as a child on the original Namek. Dende still can get pregnant, but he has to trigger a heat. Which he won’t do, because he doesn’t want to have to lay an egg.”

“That’s fine, I want to be the one anyway, Dende, you didn’t need to waste a wish on that.”

“But, darling, in my chatting with Porunga, we all realized that then we could have threesomes, or even foursomes, and it wouldn’t hurt!”

“Were you…were you planning on doing that?” Piccolo said, unsure whether he felt hurt or excited or just confused.

Dende flushed and said, “Well, not exactly, but then once Vegeta and I started talking about it—“

Piccolo interrupted, “ _Why_ did you start talking about it?”

Dende’s smile was a bit forced as he said, “Well…Drill said it was _usually_ the case that both partners became infertile, but not always, and lots of ‘twins’ were born as a result of this inconsistency—“

“Dende, that’s not talking about threesomes and foursomes,” Piccolo said. Vegeta and Dende’s hands were drifting lower on Piccolo’s belly. “You guys aren’t going to avoid my questions with a little joint hand-job.”

Their hands froze. Dende started giggling and said, “Well…what if Vegeta were to blow you while I finished the story?”

Vegeta kissed down Piccolo’s side, but Piccolo seized the Saiyan’s chest in a iron grip. “No. Answers. Now. You woke me up twice to fuck me last night, Dende, once with a spectator and once with another participant. After all your jealous bullshit, I would like to know how you came full circle. You too, Vegeta.”

Piccolo saw them eyeballing each other. Dende said, “Well…after he had his tail…and Porunga made clear that one of the side-effects of my fertility wish would be that our _theadurs_ could be touched by others without ill-effects…we…we both just…thought about it.”

Vegeta rolled his eyes and said, “Oh for fuck’s sake, Dende, we’ve just had a three-way, we can be honest with him. Piccolo, we went dancing and realized we kind of wanted to fuck each other and that half the reason we’ve been struggling with everything with you is because of simmering sexual tension. I really didn’t know it was there until I was drunk and dancing with him. His dancing really is intoxicating. Then when Porunga said that and I had my fresh, new horny tail—“

Piccolo’s eyebrows shot up. That was not the answer he anticipated. He still thought it was some elaborate way for them to compete. “So…you guys just wanted to fuck each other? And you used me…so you could fuck each other and not feel guilty?” Piccolo said.

Vegeta snarled, “Godsdamnit, Piccolo, no, we didn’t use you. And we didn’t…we didn’t want to fuck each other _alone_. We…we wanted…to share you. As we did.”

Piccolo said, “No…there was a lot of you guys just going to town on each other.”

“Well, we were drunk!” Vegeta protested. “It…we…we thought it might…simplify everything.”

“A three-way would _simplify_ everything? A three-way where you possibly _mated_ with _me_ , not your fucking _wife_?” Piccolo said, growing more agitated by the second.

“Darling, settle down. We checked with Bulma first. She said she doesn’t give a shit what his tail does as long as he’s happy and comes home to her. Which he will. Surely you don’t mind that we loved you together? Right, my love?” Dende said, and for the first time Piccolo saw worry crease Dende’s brow. Like he only now thought maybe he’d made a mistake.

Piccolo laid back and searched his heart for a while. Was he mad? Or did he just feel a little left out that they had had fun without him? Made the decision without him? Or worse…was he scared that they would love each other more than either had ever loved him? Piccolo thought it was some combination of all those factors. To his great dismay, he felt tears burning up his nose and into his eyes.

“Don’t be mad, Piccolo. We both…we both love you,” Vegeta whispered. He sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. “I’ll leave you two.”

“Oh no you don’t, Vegeta. You don’t get to run off to Bulma just because this is…complicated. What the fuck does this mean? What…I…was…was last night just…just it?” Piccolo said, “You guys really are throwing a lot at me right now and I’m pregnant and I didn’t get enough sleep and…and…and…” Piccolo’s sobs broke free.

“Oh, shit!” Vegeta said and crawled back over. He pressed his head against Piccolo’s and Piccolo swirled back through their night and watched Dende stop hating Vegeta and warm up to him, until finally he really liked Vegeta and Vegeta liked him. He felt them enjoying each other’s company and sharing in their love for Piccolo. They told silly stories about themselves doing things and Piccolo remaining blind to their attraction to him. Piccolo going about his solitary life barely certain of them as friends, but completely oblivious about the level of affection both of them felt for him. The love. The lust. They bonded over how blatant one had to be to get Piccolo’s attention.

Dende pressed his forehead to the other side of Piccolo’s and warm, happy love filled his mind, and pleasure and relief at finding a way to be so companionable with Piccolo’s best friend. To find that once they got past their jealousy, they enjoyed each other. The thrill and excitement for Dende at the prospect of getting to have more sexual experiences, to give more to Piccolo at the same time, to let Piccolo have his cake and eat it too, even if he didn’t think he wanted cake at all.

From Vegeta, the peace of having his tail back, of feeling like a whole man again. Of being able to love Piccolo and Bulma without shame. Piccolo saw that Vegeta very much wanted to keep being Bulma’s husband, but he hoped that he could remain close with Piccolo, and that sometimes the three or the four of them might enjoy frisky nights.

Piccolo, in all his years of sharing _peluwsa_ with Vegeta, had never once felt his little lover or friend, to be anything even remotely near “at peace.” It made him happy to feel that Vegeta had some peace. Dende too. Dende felt…mellower…happier…more confident…now that Vegeta wasn’t some unknown quantity in their lives. Dende knew exactly where Vegeta fit in the equation of their lives, and he liked it. It reassured him. And he was surprisingly happy about impending parenthood in no small part because of Vegeta’s talk about how rewarding he found fatherhood.

Piccolo put a hand on each chest and gently removed himself from the overwhelming, if pleasant, mental exchange. “Okay. Okay. I’m okay. I’m so tired though. Vegeta, does Bulma really know?”

“Yes, of course. I would never betray her this way, and you can’t possibly be surprised that she has an intergalactic phone. I called her before I even wished my tail back. She said she just wanted me to feel whole, even if my tail was attracted to you, which she and I both knew it would be. I love that woman, she’s a fucking treasure.”

“Yeah, she really is. Especially those tits,” Piccolo said with a smirk.

Vegeta gave a growling laugh and punched Piccolo softly in the shoulder. “Are you okay?” Vegeta asked as Piccolo wiped away his tears.

“Yeah. I’ll be okay. Last night was…intense. I don’t think it was for you guys, because, well, _giyaka._ But it was a lot for me. And I’m…I’m pregnant, remember?”

“I know, darling, your little belly is adorable. I just want to lay around and kiss it all day,” Dende said, bowing his head to pepper Piccolo’s tummy with kisses.

Piccolo relaxed, finally, and reclined, looking down at the soft rise. “It is beautiful, isn’t it? I’m so excited. Only a week or so, right?”

“Well, yes, but then the fourteen or so of incubation. We’ll have to make at least one trip back to New Namek before the egg comes, Vegeta, because we need an incubator.”

“I’m sure Bulma can make a better incubator than anyone on that planet,” Vegeta said with a sneer.

“Oh? Do you think she’d be willing?” Dende asked.

“Of course she’d be willing. Did you not hear me when I said she’s fucking amazing?”

“I see your surliness is alcohol-soluble, but your body produces enough to replenish it even after a good rinsing, Vegeta,” Dende said with a fond smile.

Vegeta smirked and leaned over Piccolo to kiss Dende. Piccolo’s feelings about that, in the light of day, were complicated. Vegeta bent and kissed Piccolo too, caressing his rounded belly. After a very thorough kiss, thorough enough that Piccolo no longer wanted it to end, Vegeta sat up and said, “Fuck. I guess I better go home.”

“You and your family should come up for dinner tonight, Vegeta. I imagine Bulla would enjoy running around up here. Trunks could bring Goten, if he wants, and they would probably enjoy the many hidden places the Lookout has to offer,” Dende said with a little snicker.

Vegeta looked more pleasantly surprised than Piccolo had ever seen him. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came for a moment, so he closed his mouth. Then he said, “Yes, that would be fun. I’m sure Bulma would enjoy a night off cooking,” Vegeta said with a little smirk.

“I’ll try not to finger Piccolo’s ass this time,” Dende said and collapsed into giggles.

Vegeta laughed and kissed them both a final time before standing and dressing. Vegeta’s tail swished in lazy arcs. He gave them a little wave and Piccolo heard, barely a whisper in his mind, _I’m happy for you. He’s a good mate. I love you_. 

Piccolo turned to see if Dende had heard, but he hadn’t. Dende waved casually to Vegeta, but he was up and headed to the bathroom. Piccolo smiled at Vegeta but didn’t know what to say. Vegeta didn’t seem to mind his silence. Vegeta took off toward Capsule Corp the minute he was out of their room.

Piccolo got up and joined Dende in the shower, his hands hungry for his little mate’s skin. He wrapped around Dende from behind and squeezed him. Dende craned his head back and smirked up at Piccolo. Piccolo bent and kissed him. “You are naughty, you know that?”

“I do, darling. I’m sorry. I should have spoken to you. We were very drunk, but…it ended up okay, right?”

“Yeah, it did. Does your wish mean I can finally fuck your sheath properly?” Piccolo purred and hooked his hands under Dende’s tight little ass. He squeezed it as he lifted Dende to be able to kiss him more easily. “Gods, Dende, I want you so badly. I don’t even think it’s pregnancy. I think it’s just you being so fucking delicious.”

“So you don’t regret choosing me? Even after last night? With his tail?”

“Not at all. It only made me feel more strongly that you’re my mate. I’m never going to say no to fucking Vegeta if you want to do that again, Vegeta’s good in bed, as you now know—“

“He _is_ good in bed. I didn’t really understand what you meant, because I love fucking you, but he’s…skilled.”

“I know. But you’re my only. My love. My mate, Dende. All I need. But that was fun. Bulma is also really good in bed.”

“I’d never considered being with a woman before. I would like to try it.”

Piccolo grinned and rolled his hips against Dende. Dende’s legs wrapped around him. Piccolo pinned him against the shower wall and thrust into his sheath. “Someday, but right now, I’d like to try coming inside you. Is that okay, beautiful?”

“Yes, darling, your cock is amazing.”

Piccolo kissed all over Dende’s skin as he fucked him slowly and deeply, pinning his thighs open wide. Dende’s eyes were hungry, but a little nervous. “You okay, beautiful?”

“I’m scared that I’ll get pregnant.”

“You won’t. Porunga doesn’t fuck around.”

“True. I love you, darling, thank you for indulging me last night.”

“Did you have fun?”

Dende didn’t answer. Piccolo fucked him harder. Dende gasped and groaned and his claws bit into Piccolo’s arms as he started to twitch on Piccolo’s cock. Piccolo kissed him deeply and whispered against Dende’s lips, “You gonna come for me, beautiful?”

“Darling, you…your dick…oh gods, I’m—I’m coming!” Dende’s muscles strained as he tried to take Piccolo deeper inside himself.

Piccolo was scared too, but he let himself go, his eyes sliding shut, and he cried out as he filled his _atheanna_.

“Oh fuck, Piccolo, it feels so good when you come in me! Holy shit!” Dende screamed.

Piccolo grinned and kissed Dende more as they rode out their aftershocks. They kissed for a long time before Piccolo let Dende down so they could shower.

“You never answered me. Did you have fun?”

“I always have fun with you, Piccolo.”

“You know that isn’t what I mean. Do you regret it? Bringing Vegeta in?”

“No, I don’t. We really did have fun, darling. I enjoy him, when he’s not being a complete jerk.”

“Now you see why I used to drink with him.”

Dende giggled. “He is more mellow with a few drinks in him. Come on, darling, let’s get you back in bed. I can see how tired you are. I guess it just takes two of us to wear you out.”


	16. Misery and Ecstasy

When Dende put Piccolo down for a nap like a baby, he didn’t think he’d actually go to sleep, but the next thing he knew, Dende was kissing him softly and saying, “Time to get up, darling. Vegeta and Bulma are here.”

Piccolo’s eyelids felt like they were weighted. He opened them with great effort and mumbled, “Hmm? Why’re they here?”

“It’s dinnertime, _atheanna_. Do you remember?”

Piccolo forced himself into a sitting position. He ran his hands over his face and said, “Oh, right. What? Dinnertime? I guess I was tired. I feel like I went to sleep two minutes ago.”

“Oh, darling, you—“

Piccolo sprinted to the bathroom and threw up again. He stood up to rinse his mouth out, but before he made it to the sink, he threw up again. “Fuck!” he gasped between heaves.

Dende pressed his hands on Piccolo and he felt the warmth of healing magic flowing through him. “Thanks for trying, beautiful, but I still feel awful. I don’t think I can eat.”

“Do you want to just go back to bed, or would you like to try to come sit with us and at least drink some tea? Unfortunately you’re going to have to stay hydrated and you’ll need to eat, Piccolo, or your pregnancy will drag on longer.”

Piccolo groaned. He brushed his teeth and got dressed. Dende took his hand and they went out to join Bulma and Vegeta. Piccolo startled when he saw Vegeta’s tail curled around Bulma’s waist. Vegeta kissed down Bulma’s neck, earning a big smirk from Bulma when her eyes found Piccolo.

Piccolo felt such relief to see that Vegeta’s tail was on Bulma. Piccolo didn’t want Vegeta to be mated solely to him when he wasn’t mated back. Vegeta looked happier than Piccolo had ever seen him. Relaxed even. Bulma looked happier than he’d ever seen her too. Maybe Dende and Vegeta’s drunken adventure _had_ been good for everyone. Dende seemed relaxed and happy too.

Piccolo sat down and Bulma said, “Jeez, Piccolo, I want to say you look a little green around the gills, but I guess that doesn’t work with Nameks. Are you not feeling well?”

Piccolo slumped, his elbows on the table, and said, “Just pregnant.”

She rubbed his back and said, “Aw, do you want to suck on my tits?”

Piccolo laughed, despite himself, and everyone else did too. The food was already spread on the table and Piccolo noted that Dende, Vegeta, and Bulma all had cosmopolitans, obviously made by Mr. Popo.He said, “Fuck, are you three already drunk? Have you just been getting lit up while I slept?”

“I tried to wake you when we started cocktail hour, darling, but you wouldn’t budge. Vegeta tried as well,” Dende said.

“Seriously? I am really tired. Is this normal?”

Dende shrugged and said, “I would think so. It seems like a lot of work to grow a new person in a little over a week.”

“Gods, am I going to vomit the whole time?” Piccolo said.

Bulma said, “I did with Trunks, but not with Bulla. Maybe it will go away after your body is more used to it.”

Piccolo nodded weakly. The three non-pregnant members of their party ate dinner and chatted happily. Piccolo drank a lot of water. A cup of tea, and ate some fruit, but everything else sounded so appalling he couldn’t even contemplate putting it in his mouth. Underneath everything was his ache to have Dende inside him. It got worse the longer they sat until his need to get fucked was making it hard to even be polite, let alone participate civilly in a conversation. 

It was also…expanding. Smelling Vegeta’s tail combined with Dende’s delicious scent was making Piccolo’s memories from the night before much more visceral. Bulma’s dress, a sleeveless slinky thing with a deep V-neck in a stunning red that looked fabulous with her creamy skin drew more and more of Piccolo’s attention. She wasn’t even wearing a bra. And if his nose, which seemed even more sensitive now that he was pregnant, didn’t lie, she wasn't wearing panties either.

As if she’d heard his thought, she leaned forward on the table, her breasts squeezing together, spilling out of the low-cut dress even more. 

“Piccolo? Did you hear me?” Vegeta said.

Horror burned through Piccolo. He’d been caught just staring into Bulma’s cleavage. His head snapped up to look at Vegeta who had spoken to him, but Piccolo had no idea what the little Saiyan had said. “Sorry, what?”

Vegeta smirked and said, “I said, you look like you might like to take Bulma to bed.”

Piccolo flushed and whipped his head around to see Dende’s reaction. Dende smirked too and slid his hand up Piccolo’s thigh, cupped his crotch. Piccolo said, “Sorry, I…I’m a little out of it…Are we finally to the foursome part of the evening?”

Dende giggled and slapped the table. “Ha! I told you, Vegeta! Pay up!”

Vegeta grumbled, but he was smiling as he produced a hundred zeni bill.

“Wait, told him what?” Piccolo asked.

“Vegeta said he thought you would be too tired to want it. I said that you would be the instigator. Bulma thought you’d be game, but that we’d have to instigate, but she didn’t get uppity, so she doesn’t have to pay up,” Dende said, laughing more.

“You were betting on how much I’d want to have sex?”

Dende kissed his cheek and said, “Oh, Piccolo, we couldn’t help it. You should have seen yourself asleep."

“What does that have to do with anything? I was exhausted! I am exhausted! I just also…” Piccolo trailed off, not wanting to admit that he was tired of dinner and conversation and company. He wanted to get laid in whatever configuration sated the burning lust inside him, and go back to sleep.

Vegeta chortled. “Even in your sleep, Namek, you were hard and you grabbed Dende and wrapped yourself around him. It was adorable. I’m sure you would have slept even longer if he’d just done the right thing and fucked you.”

“Darling, it seemed wrong to fuck you in your sleep, otherwise I would have,” Dende protested.

Piccolo said, “Well, can we fuck now, at least?”

Bulma laughed and said, “You boys are all so subtle and romantic, it really gets a girl going.”

Piccolo, tired of their nonsense, went around to Bulma, picked her up and said, “I imagine I can still get you going, Bulma.”

“Oh? You gonna put your money where your mouth is?”

“No, I’m just going to put my mouth where you know you want it,” Piccolo said and bent to grab Dende’s hand. “Come on, _atheanna_ , let’s go introduce you to pussy.”

“Dende’s never been with a woman?” Bulma asked.

Vegeta said, “Dende had never been with anyone until Piccolo made a man out of him at long last.”

“A man who fucked your ass properly last night, Vegeta,” Dende said and swatted Vegeta’s ass.

“Watch yourself, little Namek, I’m not full of _giyakas_ tonight,” Vegeta growled, but a smile tugged at his scowl.

“Which is really a damn shame. You were delicious full of _giyaka_ ,” Dende said with a smirk.

Bulma said, “Oh! Is that why you tasted like you’d been licking a car battery, Vegeta?”

“That’s what passes for a drink on New Namek,” Vegeta said and he groped Piccolo’s ass.

Piccolo set Bulma down in the bedroom, slid her dress over her head, and said, “See, I knew you were naked underneath that tiny thing. And you say we’re not subtle, huh, Bulma?”

“A subtle woman would never survive the two of you. And now I have to manage a third. Good Lord of Lords, no pointing in adding things that will probably just get torn off me.”

“Too true, woman,” Vegeta said and launched her onto the bed. He yanked Piccolo down to kiss him, but Dende took Piccolo’s mouth from him. Piccolo shoved them both away and climbed on the bed after Bulma.

Vegeta growled and started taking Piccolo’s clothes off. Piccolo spread Bulma’s legs, but turned to Dende and said, “Fuck my sheath, _atheanna_? I’ll die without it.”

Piccolo saw Vegeta look Dende up and down and he said, “Does that mean I get to fuck you, little Namek?”

“Mmm…” Dende leaned and kissed Vegeta while they pulled each other’s clothes off. “I believe so, little Saiyan. Warm me up?”

“Not gaping for me?” Vegeta said with a little smirk.

“Not yet,” Dende said, “See if you’re as good at fucking as you are at getting fucked.”

Piccolo took Bulma’s lush breast in his hand and sucked on her nipple until she gasped and clutched at his head. Her fingertips trailed along his antennae and ecstasy bloomed in Piccolo, giving him instantaneous relief from his nausea and exhaustion. He swirled his tongue around her nipple and she whispered, “Fuck, Piccolo, I swear he just kept you from me because you’re so good at this.”

“Woman, I can find something to put in your mouth if you keep maligning me,” Vegeta said, but Piccolo could hear his smirk.

“Darling, are you ready for me?” Dende murmured, kissing up Piccolo’s spine and gripping Piccolo’s cock between his legs.

Piccolo moved to Bulma’s other breast and said, “Fuck, Dende, I’ve been ready for hours. Maybe next time we don’t have to pretend we’re having them over for dinner and we can just be honest that we’re having them over to fuck?”

Dende eased slowly into Piccolo’s _theadur_ and Piccolo pressed his face between Bulma’s breasts, using the beauty of his long arms to rest on his elbows and push them together. Vegeta wasn’t wrong, Piccolo had missed her. He’d always liked Bulma and it was nice to have someone else who understood what a fucking basket-case Vegeta was. After a moment of reveling in the soft, sweet-smelling bliss of Bulma’s cleavage, he moved back to tonguing her other nipple.

“Fuck me, Dende, I need you.”

“I will, darling, I’m just lubing Vegeta. My poor _atheanna_ , you’ve been pent up, haven’t you? Were we too drunk to satisfy you last night?”

“No, I was just…confused…last night.”

Bulma giggled beneath him as he dragged his tongue around her areola before sucking her nipple hard. Bulma’s moans made him want to move on to where his skills really were, but Piccolo loved Bulma’s breasts and selfishly wanted a little more of them before he gave Bulma what he knew she wanted. Her perky nipple got even harder in his mouth and her hips rolled up toward his chest.

Dende started rocking into him, gasping. “Oh, darling, you…somehow your sheath is even tighter…and…oh gods, are you coming already? Oh gods, how is…how is…Fuck, Piccolo, you’re just squeezing and gripping me, you’re going to make me come!”

Piccolo pushed back against his mate as he bashed into Piccolo crying his name. It felt better than any sex in Piccolo’s entire life. Dende’s dick was a drug inside him. He wasn’t coming, yet, but as Dende filled him with a surprised yelp, Piccolo groaned. Piccolo splattered the bed with his cum and his _theadur_ went crazy.

Dende bellowed and Piccolo heard Vegeta growl, “Fucking gods, little Namek, I just got inside you!”

“Don’t stop, Vegeta, I’m…oh fuck…you just…you don’t know what he feels like,” Dende gasped.

Piccolo shoved Bulma up so he could eat her out, his hands picking up pinching and twisting her nipples, and he dipped his head. She caressed his head with one hand, and spread her lips with the other as her legs fell open wide. “You miss my tongue, Bulma?”

“Gods, yes, Piccolo,” she rasped back at him.

Piccolo waited to see if Vegeta would respond to the joint provocation of Dende rubbing the fact that he got Piccolo’s _theadur_ and Bulma’s praise for his oral skills. But Vegeta said nothing. Piccolo paused from running his tongue along the edge of Bulma’s opening to peer over his shoulder.

Dende thrust into Piccolo hard and it felt amazing. Dende twisted acrobatically around to kiss Vegeta as Vegeta fucked up into Dende. Piccolo’s jealousy flared when he thought Vegeta was in Dende’s sheath, but Dende’s voice in his mind soothed him, _No, darling, just my ass_. Vegeta’s arm slithered up around Dende’s chest and pressed their bodies together. Piccolo liked seeing them so happy and horny for each other as long as Dende’s sheath was Piccolo’s. He wasn’t ready to share. Maybe he would be at some point, but not yet.

Piccolo spread his legs a little wider to make their freight train of fucking run a little smoother, and put his tongue back to work on Bulma. Piccolo twisted Bulma’s nipples the way she liked, rubbing the pad of his forefinger along the the top, and she opened herself more for him. “Please, Piccolo, fuck, please…” she moaned.

He pushed his tongue deep inside her, twirling it before unfurling it deeper in her pussy, up toward her g-spot, stroking along the internal side of her clit while he used his lip to cover his teeth so he could put pressure on her clit at the same time. A constant stream of pleading and breathy moans poured out of Bulma and she got wetter. Piccolo liked Bulma’s taste too, which always surprised him, as she was the only woman he’d ever been with, and he’d never had any desire for any other women.

“Dende, fucking hell, your ass is destroying me,” Vegeta groaned.

“Fuck me harder, Vegeta, I want Piccolo to feel you too,” Dende gasped. Dende gave Piccolo’s ass a firm slap. Vegeta growled and Dende screamed, “Yes, oh gods, yes, Vegeta, sweet Lord of Lords, yes!”

Vegeta’s thrusts rippled through Dende into Piccolo’s sheath. The sensation of being fucked by the two men he cared about most in the world was thrilling and hot, and much less bewildering than the night before. Now that he understood what was happening, all Piccolo felt was pleasure. 

One of Vegeta’s hands gripped Piccolo’s hip and helped Piccolo slam back onto Dende’s deliciously hard cock. Vegeta’s calloused palm spread on Piccolo’s skin was its own comforting pleasure. The relief of knowing his best friend was maybe finally at peace about their relationship gave Piccolo solace too, in addition to the ecstasy and pleasure.

Bulma bucked her hips up toward his mouth and pleaded, “Fuck, Piccolo, please, hit my back door while you suck my clit!”

Piccolo lubed his finger and slid carefully into Bulma’s ass. She breathed, “Oh fuck, yes, Kami you have long fingers!”

“You don’t have to point out all my shortcomings, woman!” Vegeta said.

Dende said, “Vegeta, behave or we’ll do it without you next time. Bulma is allowed to compliment Piccolo without you acting like a child.”

“Very well. His fingers are long and they can reach amazing places. Get my woman off, Piccolo, what are you waiting for?”

Piccolo chuckled against Bulma’s pussy and said, almost into her, “It’s about the journey, Vegeta, not the destination. Maybe she’d like your head more if you didn’t focus so much on the end result and made it more fun along the way.” 

Dende slapped Piccolo’s ass hard and said, “ _Atheanna_ , I hoped that you would be better behaved than Vegeta.”

“Dende, he’s fooled you. You think he’s the nice one between the two of us, but he’s the real asshole,” Vegeta purred.

“Kami, all three of you, shut up!” Bulma gasped and Piccolo felt the first fluttering of her orgasm, she went silent, and her pussy began to seize on his tongue. After the first few spasms, she groaned, “Fuuuuuck, yes, Piccolo, tongue-fuck me deeper!”

Piccolo did his best to oblige, which was made easier by Dende crying out, “Come for me, _atheanna_ , fuck, Vegeta, you’re…oh fuck…oh fuck…”

“Gods, yes, yes, yes!” Vegeta growled and his savage thrust made Dende come inside Piccolo.

Piccolo roared as another massive orgasm wracked his body, more cum jetting out of him as his _theadur_ began to quake and squeeze on Dende. Bulma writhed and moaned and her thighs clamped tight on Piccolo. It made the cries of all three of his lovers sound muted, like they’d all plunged under water. When her thighs opened back up, Bulma said, “Can Dende fuck me?”

“Oh!” Dende cried in surprised delight, “Can I, Piccolo?”

“You do whatever you want, beautiful. You want to try some pussy?”

Dende pulled out of Piccolo and Piccolo moved so Dende could crawl between Bulma’s legs. Bulma pushed on his chest until he laid back and she started stroking him. She said, “Have you ever played with tits, Dende?” She straddled Dende’s narrow hips.

Dende shook his head, blushing. Piccolo cackled at his adorable _atheanna_ and kissed him. Piccolo said, “Lucky you’ll never know another pair, because they would all be a let down after Bulma’s.”

“That is so true, _vku-karam_ ,” Vegeta said and climbed onto Piccolo’s lap where he sat back on his haunches. Vegeta’s tail slinked around Piccolo’s thigh and squeezed. The tip brushed back and forth over Piccolo’s skin.

Piccolo tried to catch Dende’s eye, but both were firmly fixed on Bulma’s tits as his small hands came up and cupped them. Piccolo watched Dende’s cock harden as his little mate used his thumbs to rub Bulma’s nipples until they hardened too.

Vegeta kissed down Piccolo’s neck so Piccolo could watch his little mate fuck Bulma. Bulma ran her free hand down Dende’s cut abdomen and said, “It’s kind of fun being with someone who isn’t such a meat-head.” She lifted her hips and positioned Dende’s prick. “Yeah?”

Dende’s eyes darted to Piccolo. Piccolo said, “Go ahead, beautiful.”

Vegeta’s mental whisper startled Piccolo, _Do you…do you love me back?_

Piccolo cupped Vegeta’s face and kissed his mouth gently. He didn’t want to upset Vegeta in the middle of their foursome. He pressed their foreheads together and let Vegeta feel the way he _did_ care for Vegeta, which was a kind of love, but Piccolo knew it wasn’t what Vegeta hoped it was. Piccolo opened up the love he felt for Dende and how good it made Piccolo feel. The way he wished Vegeta could be happy for him.

Vegeta’s happiness surged back. Longing too, and some regret that he hadn’t done better early on, but a million memories of Bulma flashed through Piccolo’s mind. Vegeta was as happy as Vegeta was capable of being. Which included making peace with Piccolo being head over heels in love with Dende.

Vegeta’s lips brushed over Piccolo’s as he pulled his forehead away. Vegeta’s eyes were reddened, trying to fill, but he swallowed his tears. Piccolo whispered, “I’m sorry. You’re still my best friend.”

“I know,” Vegeta murmured back. He clutched Piccolo to him and kissed him more deeply. “Will you fuck me?”

Piccolo grinned against Vegeta’s lips and dragged lube-dripping fingers over Vegeta’s pucker. Vegeta groaned, arching back for more touch, and Piccolo gave him what he wanted, sliding a finger inside his best friend. Vegeta kissed Piccolo’s neck and jaw and chest which allowed Piccolo to watch Dende fuck Bulma.

Dende’s eyelids fell heavy as he rolled up into Bulma. The narrow bit they were still open showed that they were riveted to Bulma’s breasts as they bounced more as she began to really ride Dende. Dende’s claws bit into her hips as he held her to thrust up into her harder. She gave a breathy cry when he broke skin. 

Dende froze and said, “I’m so sorry, Bulma!”

She shook her head and breathed, “Keep fucking me, don’t stop.”

Vegeta purred against Piccolo’s ear, “Please…”

Piccolo held his cock and lifted Vegeta with his other hand. He thrust up into Vegeta roughly before using both hands to hold his tight, muscular ass and slam him up and down on Piccolo’s cock. Dende was doing the same thing with Bulma and Piccolo moved so he could look into Dende’s eyes while he fucked Vegeta and Vegeta would be able to look into Bulma’s eyes while the two of them got fucked.

Bulma leaned to the side and kissed Vegeta as their respective Nameks pistoned up into them harder and faster. Vegeta kept one hand on Piccolo’s shoulder, but the other cupped Bulma’s face. After cutting her, Dende was more careful and only had one hand on her hip, the other on her breast, twisting the nipple. Bulma cried out against Vegeta’s lips, “Fuck, yes, Dende, yes, like that, like that! Deeper!”

Vegeta’s ass started to twitch on Piccolo and Piccolo took Vegeta’s prick in his hand. He twisted his hand on the slick tip and very gradually increased how far down the shaft he was twisting until Vegeta’s eyes snapped from Bulma to Piccolo. His eyebrows came together in a little worried peak and he groaned, “Fuck, fuck, you’re…you’re going to make me come, _vku-karam_ …”

“Come for me, Vegeta, I want to feel you come.” 

Vegeta kissed Piccolo hard as hot ropes of his cum splattered up Piccolo’s chest. Piccolo gasped at the powerful muscles of Vegeta’s ass clenching on Piccolo and he fucked harder into his little Saiyan friend, spending himself as Vegeta kissed him fervently. 

Piccolo’s eyes were on Dende though. Dende’s eyes met his and he cried, “Bulma, oh gods, Bulma, I…”

Bulma went silent and Piccolo saw her hips trembling as she slammed down on Dende. Dende’s eyes widened, flitting between Bulma and Piccolo, settling on Bulma when a long low moan escaped her lips. Dende’s eyes widened even farther and he gasped, “Oh shit!” Piccolo’s mate’s dark eyes squeezed shut as he came hard inside Bulma, crying out for her and for Piccolo, his heels kicking against the bed as he tried to plunge into her more deeply as he came.

Vegeta kissed and kissed Piccolo, his fingertips running along Piccolo’s skin. Vegeta quivered, like a drink filled above the brim, held taut and fragile by surface tension. Piccolo didn’t want Vegeta to cry so he said telepathically, _Hey, don’t get all morose. You’re okay. You’ll be okay. You have your mate_.

_I know. I know. I love her so much. I just…Promise me you’ll be happy?_

_I promise. He makes me really happy, Vegeta, at least when you’re not completely fucking it up_ , Piccolo said and smirked at Vegeta.

Vegeta laughed a little and hid his face in Piccolo’s neck while all four of them moved gingerly through the final tremors of their aftershocks. There was a moment of stillness where no one said anything or moved. Then Piccolo shoved Vegeta off himself, sprinted to the bathroom, and threw up.

Dende came to comfort him, but he waved him away and said, “Gods, just…just go, I’ll be back out in a minute.”

“You can just tell me you don’t want to fuck me, _vku-karam_ , this is unnecessarily dramatic,” Vegeta growled from the doorway of the bathroom.

“Oh, poor honey, I hope you don’t puke through your whole pregnancy. Your little belly is so cute, by the way,” Bulma said and rubbed Piccolo’s back.

“Can I not have this much of an audience to vomit?” Piccolo said, his exhaustion crashing back down on him.

They all swatted his ass and left him. He heard them chatting happily in the bedroom, though he didn’t bother paying attention to what they said. He brushed his teeth again and waited to see if another round would follow. After several nausea free minutes, he returned to the bed, crawled in, and flopped face down in the pillows.

Bulma kissed his shoulder and said, “You ready for us to go, Picc?”

“Sorry. I think so. I’m so tired.”

“Don’t be sorry. This was fun. Your man is fun,” Bulma said with a little laugh. Piccolo turned his head enough to see Dende blush and smile.

“We’re not staying the night?” Vegeta said and Piccolo hoped that Vegeta would hold himself together. Piccolo always felt terrible when Vegeta cried not least because the crying only pissed Vegeta off more.

“Did you want to stay the night, honey?” Bulma asked Vegeta. Piccolo marveled still, after all the years they had messed around in various configurations, and what a dick Vegeta could be, that Bulma was always so good to Vegeta. Bulma was the definition of unconditional love, but it impressed Piccolo that she never seemed to lose her sense of self in that. She always remained strong and happy and never let Vegeta run over her either.

Vegeta kissed her and murmured with her for a minute. Normally Piccolo would hear what they were saying, but he was too tired. Dende spoke up, “Maybe you two can stay over when he’s not pregnant. I think my mate needs me to take care of him right now.”

Piccolo was grateful that his little _atheanna_ read Piccolo’s mood correctly. Piccolo was exhausted, but he wanted Dende to make love to him all night, gently, sweetly, and let Piccolo sleep when he needed to sleep. Piccolo felt fragile, but also insatiable. 

“Of course, Dende, thanks for having us for dinner,” Bulma said and nudged Vegeta to get up.

Relief swept over Piccolo when Vegeta didn’t fight about it. He bent and kissed Dende lightly. He kissed Piccolo too, more deeply, and his quiet voice came fluttering into Piccolo’s mind, _If you need anything, let us know. Bulma’s got an incubator in the works…I…is it okay? If I tell you? Or do you want me to stop?_

Piccolo raised an eyebrow and said, _Tell me what?_

Vegeta scowled and said, _That I love you, you ridiculous Namek._

Piccolo shifted in the bed to see Vegeta’s eyes. _I…I can’t say it back, Vegeta. I’m not like you. I can’t love two people completely the way you do._

Vegeta nodded, his eyes sliding closed. He kissed Piccolo again and stood. He wrapped Bulma in his arms with a smirk and said, “I haven’t had turn with you yet, woman, so I hope you’re not tired. Next time we’ll have them down for dinner so they can sample your _excellent_ cooking.”

“Oh gods, Vegeta, are we still going to pretend you don’t cook?”

Vegeta savaged her mouth and Piccolo laughed. Piccolo said, “Yeah, we’ll come eat Bulma’s amazing food. Her pussy too. Maybe this time if you’re going to yell at Dende, Vegeta, you can just yell for him to fuck you harder, or come, or something along those lines?”

Vegeta’s rumbling laughter made Piccolo smile. He said, “And maybe if your little mate is going to finger your ass, he’ll at least let us watch?”

Dende giggled and curled up next to Piccolo. “Thank you both for coming, I’m sure we’ll see you soon.”

Vegeta and Bulma disappeared leaving Piccolo and Dende alone. Dende rolled Piccolo over and pressed their lips together. He murmured, “How are you feeling, darling?”

“Like I want my mate to fuck me,” Piccolo said, and held Dende’s jaw in his hand. His other ran down Dende’s flank and palmed his ass. “You willing to fuck me all night, beautiful?”

“Gods, yes, darling. That was fun, but I just want you all to myself. Let me go clean up.”

Piccolo had almost slipped into sleep when he felt Dende’s tongue lick up Piccolo’s slit. “Fuck, Dende, oh fuck…”

“Darling, I love how I make you melt with my mouth.”

Dende’s tongue drove hard into Piccolo and Dende slid two fingers inside him at the same time. “I’m going to make you come so hard, _atheanna_ , then I’m going to fuck you right to sleep and stay inside you until you wake up. Then I’m going to fuck you again. How does that sound?” Dende purred against Piccolo, thrusting his tongue back inside Piccolo before Piccolo could even catch his breath enough to speak.

“Spread your legs, darling, let me get deeper inside you,” Dende rasped, and shoved one of Piccolo’s legs out wide.

“Dende, sixty-nine with me!” Piccolo moaned.

Dende spun around and mounted Piccolo’s face. Piccolo sucked the exterior of Dende until Dende pleaded, “Oh, darling, please, please…I need that divine tongue of yours.”

Piccolo loved the soft, sweet velvet of Dende’s sheath on his tongue. Piccolo flipped his tongue back and forth, effectively spiraling it against Dende’s tight sheath. Dende gasped against Piccolo’s _theadur_ and tongued Piccolo deeper. The combined sensation caused Piccolo to start twitching already. Dende pushed another finger inside Piccolo so he was primarily licking the exterior of Piccolo’s sheath.

Piccolo’s _theadur_ tensed and clenched with sudden, intense ecstasy. He groaned against Dende and drove his tongue deeper inside his _atheanna._ Dende’s orgasm followed and Piccolo whimpered at the pleasure of Dende’s tight little sheath gripping his tongue so sensually. Dende’s cum splashed Piccolo’s cock and set it off too, and it answered with its own pulses of semen.

They writhed together until both their _theadurs_ stopped seizing. Piccolo lifted Dende off him and spun him. Dende kissed Piccolo’s mouth lazily and whispered, “How are you feeling, darling?”

“I’m okay. Tired. Horny still, somehow. My body aches, but I’m not currently nauseous.”

“I’m glad my sheath didn’t make you nauseated…”

Piccolo frowned and said, “Dende, that isn’t—“ but when he saw Dende trying to contain a huge smile, he stopped speaking and laughed. “You’re such a smart-ass.”

Dende shifted his weight and slid his miraculously still hard cock inside Piccolo’s sheath. “Go to sleep, darling. I’ll fuck you to sleep, and I’ll stay inside you as long as you need.”

Piccolo wrapped his arms around Dende and curled up to kiss his _atheanna._ They fucked languidly and Piccolo said, “That was okay?”

“You mean Bulma and Vegeta?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Yes, darling, I thought so. I know it must be stranger for you with all your history with them and with Vegeta’s…trouble.”

“I just feel bad. Do you think I’m fucking him up more by doing this?” Piccolo said, frowning.

Dende rolled into Piccolo's sheath, fucking him slowly for a long time before he spoke, “I don’t think so, darling. I think he’s very sad, but…also happy to have his tail back. And happy that he and I get along in our way. Happy we can have this. I think all this has just forced him to accept that it will _never_ happen between the two of you. I think a part of him thought that once Bulma passed, which she will, long before either you or Vegeta, the two of you would grow old together. It’s been painful for him to see that it won’t work out that way. He wants you to be happy, Piccolo, because he loves you.”

“Oh, fuck. I didn’t know he…he ever thought like that. I really thought he was over me, Dende. I didn’t mean to drag you into this mess,” Piccolo said, gripping Dende's ass and pulling him harder inside himself.

Dende gasped and said, “I imagine his behavior would have stayed much the same until you found someone. He didn’t know what he wanted. He loves you enough that he wanted you to be happy, to have a family, a partner; but he’s jealous enough that he wanted you to need him, to be his, to wait for him. Vegeta fights constantly with his enormous ego and his intense manner of loving. But he’ll be fine, _atheanna_.”

“I don't want to think about it anymore. Your dick feels really good, Dende. I don’t think you can pull out of me again until I give birth.”

“That sounds lovely, darling,” Dende said with a big smile.

* * *

Piccolo slept through most of his pregnancy, when he wasn’t up vomiting or peeing or pleading for Dende to fuck him. He hated eating, because most of it revisited him shortly thereafter, but Dende made him eat. Vegeta visited every day, popping in even though Dende was often fucking Piccolo. He brought food that “Bulma” made. But Vegeta never pushed for a threesome, or any form of physical affection from Piccolo, seeming to sense that Piccolo was both worn out and a bit emotionally fragile. Piccolo wanted to bond with Dende. It warmed his heart when he saw Dende hugging Vegeta, obviously trying to console him. Piccolo appreciated that his _atheanna_ was trying to help his best friend through his misery.

The eighth day passed, then the ninth, and Piccolo wanted to scream he was so enormous and uncomfortable and he couldn’t keep anything down. So when the morning of the tenth day dawned and a massive contraction ripped down his spine, filling his whole torso with straining agony, he groaned, “About fucking time…”

Piccolo labored grumpily, but he’d had worse pain in his life, so only the duration annoyed him. It was also something of a relief to know his constant puking would be done. Piccolo expected the pushing to be worse, and it was, but Dende was a good midwife. He shepherded Piccolo through it with calm authority and Piccolo would never forget the look on Dende’s face when the egg was out.

Dende’s eyes filled with tears and his smile was huge and unabashed, his little dimple showing and fangs on both sides. “Look at it, darling, it’s beautiful! I’m so proud of you, _atheanna_!”

The egg sparkled a pale, creamy pink like the shell was made of translucent layers of glitter. Dende handed it to Piccolo, got the incubator ready, but crawled into bed with Piccolo and the egg. He and Piccolo wrapped around it together and kissed. “Thanks for coaching me through that, beautiful. I’m exhausted.” 

“You didn’t need me at all, you were a champion,” Dende whispered and kissed Piccolo more. Piccolo put his long arms to use and wrapped around the egg and Dende and fell asleep.


	17. The Hatchling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very low-key male (sort of) lactation in this chapter if you're squicked by that sort of thing.

As the hatching of their baby approached, Piccolo nested. Dende’s duties as Guardian kept him busy, so he was more than happy to let Piccolo take the lead on preparing the nursery in the room adjacent to their bedroom. Piccolo and Bulma bonded over preparing the nursery, shopping together for baby things, and speculating whether the baby would end up tall like Piccolo, average, or petite like Dende.

On their last trip out for the final few things Piccolo could imagine needing, Bulma said, trying (and failing) to appear casual, “So…do you think we’ll ever do it again?”

“The foursome?” Piccolo said, to make sure he wasn’t about to make a jackass out of himself.

“Yeah, what else would I be talking about?” Bulma said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Shopping for a baby?”

“Oh, right, I guess maybe you guys will have more, huh?”

“I hope so! I love babies,” Piccolo said, his whole body feeling fuzzy and warm just thinking about finally getting to snuggle his own baby. “I bet Dende will knock me up again.”

Bulma giggled. “I’m sure he would knock you up today if you asked. But yes, I meant the foursome. Did you have fun? Or was it too stressful with Vegeta’s…feelings.”

“Vegeta’s fucking feelings are stressful,” Piccolo said. He walked a fine line with Bulma, he didn’t want to insult her, but her mate was a fucking mess. Piccolo loved Vegeta, would always love Vegeta, but never the way Vegeta wanted, and maybe Bulma too. Piccolo knew Bulma worried about what would happen to Vegeta after she died. Piccolo wondered, and had always wondered, how the hell Bulma put up with Vegeta constantly. Piccolo continued, “Did…did you have fun?”

“Piccolo, you don’t have to pretend you don’t know that I had fun. Vegeta’s less stressful for me. You know how I am. I’d like to do it again, but if you don’t want to do it, that’s fine. I just…I want to start…preparing…Vegeta, you know? If that was it. If it’s over-over.”

Piccolo’s heart thumped. All he’d been thinking about for the past few months was the baby and Dende. Their sex life had been incredible and Piccolo was happy. At ease. At peace. The foursome was fun, and Piccolo knew Dende was eager to do it again. But Piccolo couldn’t decide what he wanted. Maybe it was the haze of pregnancy, but every time Piccolo remembered that night, he felt…torn. When he examined his own heart, the biggest sticking point for Piccolo was Vegeta’s heart.

Piccolo sighed, pulled a Goku and scratched the back of his neck, and said, “Do you think it’s…good…for him to keep doing it?”

Bulma considered Piccolo’s question for a long time. Piccolo paid and they walked out toward Bulma’s car. She searched Piccolo’s eyes and he waited patiently for her answer. “I think you should do what _you_ want to do, Piccolo. Vegeta is too…complicated…to predict what either choice will do. I would love to do it again and I know Dende would do it again in a heartbeat. Who would have guessed that sweet looking man has so much kink in him,” she said, grinning.

“He would love it if you would please tie him up. Maybe with a riding crop involved,” Piccolo said with a little smirk, thinking of how Dende had moaned for him the night before when Piccolo had “punished” him for coming too soon.

Bulma laughed and said, “I think I’d like that too. Maybe give him a good pegging.”

“Absolutely,” Piccolo said, smiling more broadly.

She turned serious again and said, “You don’t have to do what the two of them want, you know.”

“Bulma, give me a little credit. I survived Vegeta all these years. I’m not a complete pushover. I just…I don’t _know_ what I want. Except to meet my baby. Take care of my baby. Love my baby. Maybe once he’s hatched I’ll be able to figure out the foursome shit.”

“That makes sense. It’s good Vegeta has Bulla to occupy himself. He’s so good with her. Can you believe she already went super Saiyan?”

“Yeah, I can, and it’s terrifying. You better build another space ship so you can send them both away when they’re in a snit together.”

“Oh come on, you know neither of them will ever stand up to me.”

Piccolo laughed hard for what felt like the first time in weeks. Everything with Dende had been wonderful, but Piccolo tended to brood when he didn’t know how to handle something. He said, “You know, you thought it was going to be Dende who would have to come have margaritas with you, but I think it’s you and I who will need to drink together with our mercurial mates.”

It was Bulma’s turn to guffaw and she said, “Oh gods, Piccolo, if we let those two spend time alone together, who knows what they’ll get up to—in one night they managed to wish back Vegeta’s tail and organize a threesome—“

“Organize is kind of a strong word,” Piccolo said, still laughing.

“Yeah, but still. We’d have to get them a babysitter—“

“We could hire Goku—“

“Can you imagine Vegeta’s face?” Bulma said, leaning into Piccolo she laughed so hard.

Neither could speak for a long time as they wheezed with laughter. When they recovered, Bulma stood on her tiptoes and yanked Piccolo down to plant a kiss on his cheek. She squeezed his arm and said, “Just…let me know. You know how he is. It’s easier if I know what’s eating at him.”

“I will. And thanks for doing baby stuff with me.”

“My favorite part of babies is shopping for them. Then passing them off to my maternal husband,” she said with another bout of giggling.

He kissed her cheek back and said, “I guess maybe you and Dende do have that in common.”

They went their separate ways and as Piccolo flew, Dende’s voice came in his mind, _Darling! It’s time! Hurry!_

Piccolo broke the sound barrier and made it to the Lookout in seconds. Dende met him and took his hand. His little mate had changed into Earth clothes. He looked so svelte and sexy that Piccolo couldn’t help but wish they could have a quick go before the baby hatched. He swung Dende up onto his hips.

“Oh! Did you have a good time with Bulma?” Dende said with a little chaste kiss.

“Mmm…beautiful, that is not what I’m thinking about. How long does an egg take to hatch?”

Dende’s smile widened, his dimple and fangs appearing. He kissed Piccolo more deeply, grinning, and purred, “It varies, but _you_ can be very fast if properly motivated, darling.”

Piccolo threw down his bags, groped Dende’s ass, and walked him to the bedroom. The incubator was right next to the bed. Piccolo rolled his hips against Dende as he verified there were no visible cracks in the glittery shell. For several weeks they had been able to see the shadow of its inhabitant when the sun shone through the shell. They saw him now, curled up like he was sleeping.

Dende kissed roughly down Piccolo’s neck, unbuttoning his shirt. “Darling, he made a little squeak and a crack a few minutes ago, so we ought not waste our time,” Dende rasped and shoved Piccolo’s shirt off. Dende’s fingers flew to Piccolo’s nipples and Piccolo bent to take his mate’s mouth again.

“Might not have time to be as thorough as I was last night, beautiful,” Piccolo murmured into the rough kiss. He tossed Dende on the bed, stripped Dende’s jeans off as Dende peeled off the clingy shirt he wore, leaving him in only his maddening little boxer-briefs. “Gods, when will you stop tormenting me with these!”

“When you stop coming in me so many times I’m worried about it dripping down my leg,” Dende said before taking Piccolo’s cock so deeply in his mouth that Piccolo wondered if there was magic involved. 

Piccolo caressed his mate’s smooth skull and finished kicking off his jeans. Dende’s claws dug into Piccolo’s ass. He gently extracted himself, no matter how good it felt. He wanted to fuck Dende, to be fucked by Dende, and time was short. “Beautiful,” Piccolo breathed as he shucked Dende’s infuriating boxers, “I want you so badly.”

Dende roughly rolled Piccolo, pinned him on his back, and bit down his neck onto his pecs, nipping back and forth like he couldn’t decide which he preferred. Piccolo loved when Dende took charge. He loved dominating Dende too, but there was just something titillating about his smaller mate refusing to let Piccolo run the show. Leather straps snaked out from the bed, as they often did when Dende took charge, and pulled Piccolo’s arms taut. He let out a startled, “Oh!” when they wrapped around his ankles too, spreading him like a big X.

“There, darling, you’re just as I want you,” Dende gasped as he dragged his fangs over Piccolo’s nipples. Dende’s fingers played over Piccolo’s cock, just teasing it, lower onto his balls, and dipped inside his _theadur_. “Mmm…you’re twitching for me, _atheanna_.” Dende plunged his fingers deeper with a little smirk and then turned around, straddling Piccolo.

Piccolo groaned as Dende put his sheath just out of reach of Piccolo’s mouth. “Dende, please, don’t tease me, at least give me a little?”

“Very well, but only a little,” Dende shifted his hips back and Piccolo raised his head fast, thrusting his tongue inside his little mate’s sheath. “Ah! Piccolo! That is not a little!”

Piccolo refused to pause what he was doing to answer. Dende pointed his fingers and slid his whole fist inside Piccolo. Piccolo moaned, which in turn made Dende cry out. Dende loved noise and vibration on his sheath. Piccolo sent a trill of chi down his tongue, making the whole long muscle buzz and heat.

Dende wailed and fisted Piccolo harder, but once he’d recovered his breath, he slid Piccolo’s cock back into his incomprehensible mouth. The leather straps could never actually hold Piccolo, but it was their tacit agreement that he would pretend he couldn’t break them. Which was very difficult in that moment. He wanted to grip Dende’s ass, finger him while licking his _theadur_ into a body-shaking orgasm. But half the fun of being tied up was resisting that urge. Finding ways to indulge himself without his limbs.

Dende’s expert hand twisted as he thrust, sucking Piccolo’s dick hard, taking him deep in his throat until Piccolo used a rapid-fire series of chi bursts along his tongue to push Dende over the edge first. It wasn’t a race, but it also wasn’t _not_ a race. Dende pulled off Piccolo’s prick as he screamed with pleasure. His _theadur_ gripped Piccolo’s tongue, rippled up and down, pulling on it, and Piccolo couldn’t resist his own release. His cock started the fireworks, splattering Dende’s face and neck with cum. Piccolo needed to see that, but he wanted to Dende to finish his _theadur_ too. Dende mercifully drove his hand into Piccolo a few more times.

“Fuck, Dende, yes!” Piccolo gasped, tearing himself away from his mate’s sheath as his own spasmed wildly. Dende spun and lubed Piccolo’s cock with his own semen, smearing it off his chin and throat so seductively Piccolo thought that their second round might be fairly brief. Dende’s eyes bored into Piccolo as he took Piccolo’s prick deep in his ass, the claws of his other hand dragging down Piccolo’s pecs. 

“Gods, Piccolo, your naughty tongue. I’d intended to fuck you with my sheath, but you get so competitive when I tie you up,” Dende said, his voice breathy as Piccolo drove up into him hard.

“Beautiful, your ass is fucking divine,” Piccolo growled, aching to break the straps and really fuck Dende. 

Dende bent and brushed their antennae together, making Piccolo pant even more. Dende had perfected the “antennae-job” and his supple green stalks could stroke Piccolo into a frenzy in mere moments. Dende didn’t give him that satisfaction, though, lightening the touch so he could kiss Piccolo’s mouth. Piccolo tasted his own cum on Dende’s lips. Piccolo purred, “You’re fucking mine, beautiful.”

“I certainly am, _atheanna_ ,” Dende groaned, “but you’re mine too.”

“Gods, yes, I am, Dende,” Piccolo said, his voice throaty and thick with his love for his mate.

A loud crack and a squawk resounded in the room. The last rays of the sun cut through the translucent, sparkling shell and they both turned to see their baby punching at the top of the shell.

Dende took a big breath with an even bigger grin and slammed down hard on Piccolo. Again and again he took Piccolo’s whole prick inside himself. “Come for me, darling! Come inside me!”

Piccolo obeyed, unable to resist the call of Dende’s ass clenching on him, the sensual feel of Dende coating his chest in cum.

Without a word or a pause, Dende pulled off him and thrust hard into Piccolo's sheath. “I’m sorry, darling, I need you so badly. I wanted both.”

“Never apologize for fucking me, _atheanna_ ,” Piccolo gasped, adjusting to Dende’s vicious, passionate thrusts.

Dende closed his eyes and the straps disappeared. Piccolo wrapped his arms and his legs around Dende, engulfing him in a tangle of long green limbs, and kissed him. They panted together, grinning, and their antennae radiated wave after wave of excitement and fear and joy that their little Namek would be with them soon.

Dende leaned into the kiss more, holding the back of Piccolo’s thigh, spreading his own legs wider as he rammed into Piccolo, both of them frantic for the bliss of their release. Piccolo growled, “Come inside me, beautiful, set me off, please!”

Dende groaned and his tongue plunged into Piccolo’s mouth as they came together. Piccolo’s sheath milked Dende’s cock right through his aftershocks so that he was still twitching when Dende pulled out.

“Darling, I’m going to rinse off so I don’t meet our child covered in cum,” Dende said, pulling Piccolo to his feet.

They showered quickly, limiting themselves to groping and kissing. They had the incubator in the bathroom on the off chance he broke out while they were still in the shower. Piccolo dried them with chi and they took their egg into the bed with them and curled around it as they did every night.

“Oh dear, are you starving, darling?”

“I’m fine. I can eat when I don’t need to fuck my mate or watch my baby hatch.”

“Do you want more, Piccolo?” Dende said, his eyes searching and his brows knit together.

Piccolo knew they should have discussed this before they were pair-bonded. “Yeah, I do, but I know you’re less…excited…about being a parent than I am.”

“That’s hardly fair, darling, almost everyone is less excited about being a parent than you are,” Dende said.

Piccolo opened his mouth to speak and Dende kissed him roughly. When his little mate released him from the unexpected, dizzying kiss, Dende growled, “Do not tell me Vegeta is as excited as you or I will scream.” He had a half-smile, but his eyes were a little scared. Piccolo held his tongue. His mate knew him well. He hadn’t meant anything by it, but Piccolo and Vegeta did share an enthusiasm for fatherhood.

Dende reiterated, “Not a word about him. How many do you want? Assuming your partner was amenable to you making that decision?” Dende’s smile was soft and loving, so Piccolo breathed a sigh of relief.

“Stop snooping if you’re gonna give me shit for what you find,” Piccolo whispered and kissed Dende.

“Darling, you always think loud enough for Moori to hear it.”

“Oh gods, not really?” Piccolo croaked, his eyes widening at the horror of that thought.

“No, Piccolo, not really, but it can hardly be called ‘snooping’ with the way you broadcast them,” Dende said and giggled as he kissed Piccolo.

The cracks came one after another in rapid succession now. Piccolo said, “I mean…I’d probably just keep popping them out until I couldn’t anymore, but I don’t think that’s really…practical. I just love babies, Dende.”

“I know you do, it’s quite adorable, _atheanna_ ,” Dende murmured against Piccolo’s lips.

“What about like…six.”

“Six!?”

“Five?”

“Five?!” Dende’s face was open horror.

“Four?” Piccolo said more hopefully.

“Oh Lord of Lords, Piccolo, four would be my upper bound,” Dende said.

“Well, how many do you want?” Piccolo said, a bit more peevishly than he meant to say it.

“I would be happy with one, but I’m fine with…with…oh gods…with four. But not six. I don’t think I can do six,” Dende said, his eyes wide, like maybe he thought Piccolo was fucking with him.

Piccolo grumped, “Oh fine. Four. You’ll change your mind the first time you smell his little scalp.”

As if answering their call, the first chunk of shell popped off with another little cry. A tiny fist poked out the hole and opened. His little claws scrabbled until another shard fell away, revealing a little blinking eye peering out at his fathers. He cried angrily and punched his other fist through the sparkling shell.

Piccolo said, “Should we keep part of the shell? Is that a thing Namekians do? We could mount it somehow and hang it in his room? It’s so pretty.”

“We can do whatever you wish, darling. I believe he might have your scowl,” Dende said, barely able to contain his laughter.

Piccolo turned away from his mate back to his baby to see the baby had squashed its face into the hole it had made, but it was not big enough, so it had a distinctly grumpy expression. After a little growl, the shell split in half and the baby tumbled forward, face-planting between Piccolo’s and Dende’s faces.

Piccolo smooched his little green cheek, his soft pink shoulder, and patted his tiny green bum. He whispered, “Hey little guy, what should we name you?”

Piccolo sat up and cradled his infant in his hand. Piccolo always forgot how small newborns were, and he’d never seen a newborn Namekian. They were even smaller than human newborns. Dende kissed the back of the baby’s head. His glassy eyes met Piccolo’s and he said, “Oh, Piccolo, can we…can we name him Nail?”

“Of course, _atheanna_ , it’s perfect.” Piccolo looked down as his pecs began to tingle. He adjusted Nail, who had started grumbling and twisting with a wide-open, toothless mouth. He latched onto Piccolo’s nipple hungrily and Piccolo heard him begin to swallow the nectar that Nameks produced to feed their young.

Dende leaned over Nail and kissed Piccolo. “He’s perfect, darling. You made a perfect little Namek. I’ll go get a diaper and some little jammies for him.”

“Can…can he sleep with us tonight?”

“Oh! I forgot to show you Bulma’s genius. She showed me when you were asleep.” Dende hurried over to the incubator and pressed a button. It converted into a bassinet.

Piccolo’s throat tightened. It felt so lucky to have someone like Bulma care enough about him to make this for their new baby. “That’s amazing. Gods, Bulma doesn’t fuck around. But…I…I’d still like him in the bed tonight. Is that okay?”

“Yes, of course, but we have this too, so he can sleep near us until you’re ready to put him in his own room.”

Piccolo stared down at his nursing infant, his little face so peaceful and his little fist clenched tight against his cheek. It was hard to imagine ever leaving him anywhere more than a few feet away. Dende would keep Piccolo from being completely ridiculous with their child.

* * *

After a few days, Piccolo and Nail found a rhythm of eating and sleeping and diaper-changing and bathing. Dende couldn’t exactly take paternity leave, but Mr. Popo had tried to lighten the load as much as possible. But Piccolo was definitely the primary caregiver and wouldn’t want it any other way. Piccolo didn't even miss training. Namek babies grew fast and he wanted every possible second of babyhood.

When Nail was a week old, Dende said, “Is it alright if we have some…guests…for dinner tonight? To meet Nail?”

“Of course, who’s coming?”

“Ah, I’m not sure yet, but certainly Bulma, Vegeta, Trunks, and Bulla,” Dende said, and Piccolo marveled at what a shitty liar he was.

Piccolo didn’t care enough to press his mate. He assumed Dende was maybe just planning another foursome and covering it up by saying Bulla and Trunks would be with Vegeta and Bulma. Nail wasn't crawling yet—he was no Saiyan—but he had learned to roll over the night before and quickly realized its potential as a form of locomotion. He rolled over to Piccolo when Piccolo flopped down on the floor of the nursery after he’d spoken with Dende.

By dinnertime, Piccolo had forgotten all about the guests. Dende popped into the nursery, where Piccolo had fallen asleep with Nail on his chest on the extra-long couch he’d made. “Oh shit,” Piccolo said, sitting up too fast and waking Nail.

Nail grumbled for food as Dende said, “No rush, darling, they won’t be here for another half-hour. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to take a shower first, give Nail his bath so he’d be easier to put down if you’re having a good time at dinner.”

Piccolo rubbed his eyes. Dende joined him and Nail as they scrubbed themselves quickly so they could soak in the tub for a few minutes at least. Nail slapped the surface of the water happily, splashing Dende. Dende laughed and repeatedly leaned forward and put his mouth under the water and blew bubbles on Nail’s tummy. Nail’s squeals of delight and Dende’s giggles made Piccolo so happy he feared he would cry. He held himself together so he could watch them continue their game.

After too little laughter, Dende scooped Nail out of Piccolo’s big hands and held him in the air, dried him with chi, and said, “My little sweet pea, let’s get you dressed for company! How exciting to know there are other creatures besides your daddies and Mr. Popo! Oh don’t make that grumpy face, sweet pea, Daddy will be there, not just Papa. What will I ever do if you want to go back to training, _atheanna_? He is quite the Daddy’s boy.”

“He’ll grow out of that as soon as he weans,” Piccolo said. His intention had been to sound glib, but his eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, darling, my poor love, you still have plenty of time,” Dende said and pulled Piccolo down for a kiss.

Piccolo nodded and swallowed his tears as he dressed. Even when Nail was just with Dende in the next room, Piccolo felt Nail’s absence like a hole in his chest. He knew he would adapt. He assumed there were some powerful Namek hormones making him mildly insane that would eventually ebb so he could bear to be parted from his baby. Piccolo dressed in a pair of slacks with nice drape and a tailored button-down. Occasionally he liked to remind Dende that he wasn’t a complete schlub who wore sweats and no shirt every day. Not that Dende had ever asked Piccolo to put _on_ a shirt.

Piccolo peeked in on Dende, naked and dressing Nail. He was speaking in Namekian, which made Piccolo smile. Piccolo leaned against the doorjamb and admired his mate’s lithe body, his taut little ass. Dende turned and gave him a little smirk with a raised eyebrow. “We don’t have time for _that_ , darling, though I’d rather enjoy undressing you with how delicious you look. Can you take him for a few minutes so I can dress?”

“Of course, beautiful. Can I watch? Even if we don’t have time and if Nail is very much too awake, I love seeing you naked.”

Dende laughed and said, “You can watch me, but you’ll be crabby as I start covering things up.”

“It’s easier because you always look so sexy, dressed, naked, sprawled on the bed beneath me. This way I’ll get to think about taking you back out of your clothes all through dinner,” Piccolo said and gave Dende a fervent kiss.

Dende’s cheeks were much more flushed than Piccolo expected. Piccolo also noticed that Dende hesitated getting dressed. Dende almost always wore some combination of skinny jeans and flowy top that deprived Piccolo of seeing his mate’s perfect ass in said skinny jeans. But tonight, Piccolo noticed that Dende put on the closest thing to what the Earthlings might deem “masculine” clothes that his little love had. Dende looked miserable once he was dressed.

“Dende? What’s going on? Why don’t you wear the shirt I got you the other day? You told me you couldn’t wait to have an excuse to wear it.” Dende looked deflated in a pair of slacks and a tucked in button-down. Dende looked at himself in the mirror and his face contorted. He tore the offending clothes off and went back to the closet. He pulled on his favorite glittery skinny jeans (Piccolo’s favorite too), and the boots Piccolo had made for him the night of the threesome. Lastly he put on the bright orange top Piccolo had gotten for him. It had short, drapey sleeves, but the shoulders were cut out and it was asymmetrically cut, the left side dipping low enough to cover his entire ass, the right barely reaching his hip.

Dende looked happier, but Piccolo thought he might be shaking. “Dende? Who is coming to dinner? You’re trembling.”

Dende turned a bright, false smile on Piccolo and took Nail from him. “There’s my big boy. He will give me strength.”

“What?” Piccolo asked, but Dende glided past him and toward the living area. “Is there a reason—“

Dende cut him off, “Please, just…just follow my lead, Piccolo.”

Piccolo kissed Dende and put his hand on Dende’s lower back, “Okay, sure, beautiful, I just—“

Before Piccolo could finish, Vegeta popped into existence. Vegeta and Bulma with Trunks holding Bulla. Goten stood on Trunks’s other side. But standing on Vegeta’s other side, all holding hands in a long chain, were Dende’s family members. Piccolo understood immediately why Dende’s wardrobe choices had been so stressful. 

After Piccolo gave birth, Dende confessed that he never wanted to tell his family about Piccolo. Piccolo tried not to be upset, but it had hurt him that Dende wouldn’t at least try to see if they might accept Piccolo as Dende’s _atheanna_. Dende told him again and again that it was the whole package of what Dende had become on Earth, not simply Piccolo. Piccolo believed him now. Waves of agonizing nervousness radiated out from Dende, and Piccolo knew Piccolo was only a portion of that. Dende shrank visibly in his Earthling clothes.

Dende’s strained voice said, “Welcome. Thank you all for coming. I…I…I have, um, very big news. Or rather one big piece and one little piece.”

Moori gaped, his mouth hanging open. Cargo looked shocked, but not upset. Piccolo didn’t even know the names of Dende’s other relatives, but he felt like there were a lot of them, all of them staring at him. Dende barreled ahead in the face of ringing silence, “You, um, you all know Piccolo, of course, and, well, um, we, we became _atheanna_ , and…and…and…” Dende’s voice tightened to the strangled tone it took on when he was about to cry.

Piccolo squeezed Dende against him and said, “And this is our son, Nail. He just turned a week today.”

Moori snapped, “ _You_ dare to name _your_ spawn after Nail?”

Piccolo needed to neutralize Moori quickly because Bulma was already quietly pleading with Vegeta not to murder Moori. Vegeta bit out, “You selfish, self-righteous ass! He is honoring a fallen warrior! Nail chose his fate, don’t disparage Piccolo for honoring his wishes!”

Dende seemed pleasantly surprised by Vegeta’s outburst and chimed in, “I agree. And on top of that, we’ve spoken to Nail and he heartily approves. He _is_ honored.”

Moori spluttered, “Spoken to Nail? How? You just had a chat with this…this…demon who took Nail from us? And now he has taken you from us not just bodily, but in spirit and purity as well?”

“Oh for the Lord of Lord’s sake, Moori, I was never pure in the sense you wished. Piccolo is my mate, not some prostitute sullying me, he bore me a son. I love him. He loves me. I didn’t have the stomach to tell you sooner, but I had hoped maybe little Nail might soften your hearts. I see I was mistaken.”

Cargo stammered, “I…Well…Dende, you…you need to do what makes you happy, even if…even if I don’t understand. I’m happy if you are happy,” and he stepped slightly away from Moori.

Vegeta snarled, “Anyone else want to be a prick? Because I can take your green asses right back to New Namek. Or anywhere else I choose to drop you off, and I assure you, I’ve been some rather unpleasant places.” Vegeta’s grim smirk was chilling. When the line of Nameks cringed away from him, he nodded. “That’s what I thought. Now get out of my way, I want to hold the baby.”

Vegeta strutted past the line of flabbergasted Namekians to Dende. Dende held Nail stubbornly and Vegeta leaned in and said, “I can tell them more, little Namek, don’t toy with me. That baby is fucking adorable, now let me cuddle him.”

Dende burst out laughing and handed Nail to Vegeta. Vegeta and Nail scowled at each other. Vegeta held up his free hand and said, “Give it a good hit, boy.”

Nail, to everyone’s surprise, smacked Vegeta’s palm with vigor. Vegeta smiled and met Piccolo’s eyes. “He’s your son, all right.”

Piccolo puffed with pride that his son had passed muster with Vegeta, even though he knew there was no reason it should matter. Vegeta continued, speaking only to Nail, “Come on, you cute little kiwi, let’s introduce you to your sparring partner. Princess! Look, you won’t have to train with Kakarot’s weakling grand-brat.” Vegeta squatted, holding a floppy, tottering Nail up by his waist as Bulla toddled over and her little puff of blue hair turned gold. The babies scowled at each other for a moment. When Vegeta smirked, Bulla smirked, and to Piccolo’s horror, Nail made a pretty good effort at smirking. But then Nail giggled happily and stuffed a fist in his mouth. Bulla chewed her hand too and wrapped her little arms around Nail, earning “aws” from almost all the Nameks.

Bulma snapped a few pictures before chirping, her voice a little strained, “Goku and his family should be along any moment. Gohan too. Why don’t we sit? Maybe Mr. Popo could make his cosmopolitans by the pitcher, hmmm?”

Dende laughed and said, “I should have sent Vegeta for some _giyaka_.”

“It’s not too late, little Namek,” Vegeta said, already trying to teach Nail to duck a hold, using Bulla’s hug as an example.

“Stop training my son, Vegeta! I don’t want him to have your bad habits!” Piccolo said, but he smirked at his best friend.

Vegeta laughed and said very quietly, “You don’t listen to him, Nail, I kick his ass every time.”

Dende’s family warily sat around the table. Goku and Chichi arrived with Gohan, Videl, Pan, Yamcha, Tien, Krillin, 18, and Marron. Dende cried, “Oh, goodness, everyone hold on to your seats,” and raised his hands. Piccolo spread his hand on Dende’s lower back, channeling his own magic into his mate to boost his power so he wouldn’t be exhausted.

The table expanded and soon there was plenty of room for everyone. Bulma wheeled on Vegeta and said, “Ha! Told you! You owe me, Vegeta! All the cooking I had to do to prepare,” and pulled a capsule out of her purse. She popped it and more food appeared.

Dende said, “Thank you so much, Bulma, your cooking is always exquisite. I can hardly wait to _eat_ it,” Dende said and Piccolo saw his little mate give Bulma eyes.

Bulma giggled and said, “Oh, Dende, you’re too much. I just really wanted tonight to go well, so _I_ spent hours and hours anxiously cooking and baking.”

The addition of the Son family and their hangers-on diluted the hostility radiating from Dende’s family. Relief washed over Piccolo as Bulma and Dende snickered together, chatting about what, Piccolo didn’t even care. If Dende was happy, Piccolo was happy.

Vegeta handed Piccolo Nail and Bulla, vanished, and only a few minutes later reappeared with what Piccolo assumed were actual jugs of _giyaka_. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Vegeta,” Piccolo said.

Vegeta gave him a withering look and started pouring _giyakas_ for everyone. He said, “Moori, yes, you, drink up, old man. And get over your bullshit. Wouldn’t you rather have your son? Your grandson? And a son-in-law you dislike rather than having nothing?”

Moori’s mouth opened. Shut. He slurped up some _giyaka_ and almost spit it back out, “Good gods, is this _giyaka_? Why?! Why would anyone drink _giyaka_ on purpose?”

Vegeta laughed and said, “It’s Nail’s favorite drink. Or a very good practical joke on Piccolo,” and did a shot, gritting his teeth as he wheezed, “Good gods, is right. Why would you ever make anything taste like this?! Fucking Namekians.”

By the time the _giyaka_ had made its unpleasant way around the table a couple times, the party was much more at ease. Goku draped happily on Moori and in a choked up voice explained just how wonderful Piccolo was, and that Goku still felt that way, even after seeing him fucking Dende. Piccolo facepalmed, but there was no undoing _giyaka_. Dende and Bulma were slumped together giggling like mad. Piccolo smiled fondly, pleased that Dende had done this for him, no matter how uncomfortable it made his drunk little mate.

Trunks and Goten skulked out of the dining room and Piccolo said, “Anywhere by my bed, boys, there’s a million places in the Lookout, but not my bed.” They both had snuck _giyaka,_ assuming all the adults were far too lit up to notice or care. The two teenagers serpentined out of sight. 

Piccolo took Nail, who had been passed out on Piccolo for quite a while, to put to bed. He knew he had to return to the dinner party, but he wished he could just climb into bed and fall asleep with Nail on his chest. He put Nail in jammies, a fuzzy pair with cute little cartoon slugs all over them, and laid Nail in his bassinet. Nail grumbled, rolled onto his side, and settled again.

Piccolo’s hearing made a monitor a bit ridiculous, but he’d gotten one for just such an occasion, when the hubbub might make him miss Nail’s cries. He hung it on his pocket and almost yelped as he closed the bedroom door and turned to find Vegeta there. “Good gods, Vegeta, you scared the shit out of me,” Piccolo whispered, “I’m not talking to you when you have _giyaka_ on board.”

“I don’t, you foolish Namek. I would never get drunk when I was in charge of my baby,” Vegeta said, and gestured to Bulla. Bulla was curled in the crook of Vegeta’s arm, fast asleep.

“What do you want? It’s not nice to sneak up on people whose in-laws are possibly plotting their murder.”

Vegeta flapped a dismissive hand at Piccolo. “They’ll come around, you’ll see.”

“Did you do this? Did you talk him into it?”

Vegeta’s eyes danced back and forth between Piccolo’s. “No. He wanted to do it. He just needed the courage of being shamed by your former lover.”

A breathy laugh escaped Piccolo and he said, “His own former lover.” 

Vegeta managed to laugh, but Piccolo saw his eyebrows come together before he put back on his mask. “Indeed. You’re doing well? With Nail?”

“Oh, yeah, he’s such an easy baby,” Piccolo said, pride swelling in his chest, “I love him so much, it’s just ridiculous.”

Vegeta’s smile surprised Piccolo. “It is ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I’ve never been so happy.”

“Glad to hear it. You should probably go scrape your mate off my wife before he adds another layer of complexity to in-law explanations.”

“He’s going to be pretty put out that I’m peeling him off Bulma.”

They walked out and surveyed the drunken ease with which everyone was conversing and slumping together. Vegeta said, “Let me get the in-laws out of here. Can you take Bulla? Bulma’s way too drunk and I imagine the boys are…busy.”

Piccolo nodded and Vegeta gathered the Nameks in a pile and disappeared. He materialized a few minutes later and redistributed everyone else to their respective homes. Vegeta’s timing was impeccable. Dende had Bulma spread out on the table and was preparing to go down on her. Vegeta observed with a raised eyebrow.

Piccolo turned to Vegeta and said, “We’ve got a crib, you wanna put Bulla down?”

Vegeta looked Piccolo up and down, smirked, and nodded. Piccolo threw Bulma over one shoulder, Dende over the other and made his way through the mess to the bedroom. He tossed them both on the bed, moved Nail’s bassinet into the nursery, and returned with Vegeta to the bed.

Dende and Bulma dove on Piccolo as he fell back onto the bed and made his clothes disappear. They both giggled and kissed him fondly. Vegeta undressed and kneeled between Piccolo’s sprawled legs.

Vegeta said, _It’s fine if this is it. I understand._

_I don’t want you to have false hope if we keep doing this occasionally._

_No, I see how you look at him. And he gave you Nail._

_Yeah, he did._

_I have no illusions,_ Vegeta said, and Piccolo thought Vegeta meant it. That his best friend could be at peace with whatever bizarre arrangement they had stumbled into with _giyaka_ and dragon balls.

Dende kissed Piccolo soundly and said to Bulma, “Can you believe how long he overlooked me? I was right there, the whole time!”

“Well, you have him now, little Namek. You could have had some balls,” Vegeta said drily.

“Oh, don’t be surly, Vegeta. You were right there too, right under my nose with your pretty wife and her luscious breasts. We got ourselves sorted out. I have my mate, my love, my adorable son. And you have each other and your fabulous children. Maybe _giyaka_ is the key to happiness,” Dende giggled so hard he was wheezing. “ _Giyaka_ is the meaning of life, and it was there all along, right under my nose, smelling like someone electrocuted a sack of rusty cans and tasting like having one’s tongue ripped out.”

Piccolo pulled his babbling mate down for a kiss. Vegeta kissed Bulma next to him, but his fingers twined with Piccolo’s. Vegeta’s tail coiled around Bulma’s thigh and Piccolo felt a surge of relief.

Dende murmured against Piccolo’s lips, “You’re my only, _atheanna_ , thank you for enduring my family.”

“Always, Dende, I’d endure anything for you,” Piccolo whispered back.

Bulma butted in and said, “He means us, Dende, he’d _endure_ fucking us so you can enjoy my lovely tits.”

Dende laughed and kissed Piccolo more. “That’s because he’s the best mate. The best _atheanna_.”

Piccolo chuckled. “Second best, _atheanna,_ ” Piccolo said. He wrapped his hands around Dende’s narrow hips. Piccolo’s cock slid into Dende’s sheath. Bulma returned to Vegeta’s love, and Piccolo smiled up at his _atheanna_ and said, “Glad I finally saw you, beautiful,” he paused and pulled Dende down into a kiss, “I literally couldn’t see you. You’re so little. You were right under my nose.”

“You’ll need to be punished later, darling,” Dende murmured back, fangs and dimple present in his huge smile.

Piccolo grinned into the kiss, his heart bursting with love and friendship, lust and joy, and the deep contentment of finally having his little family. Dende smiled down at him and they brushed their antennae together, sharing all the good things they’d found and made together, and looked forward to sharing more, finding more, making more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made it! I made it! Woohoo for finished fics! Thank you for reading Piccolo and Dende's adventure. I had a lot of fun writing it and posting it thanks to wonderful commenters and friends here and on Twitter. I owe the inspiration for nectar to Minos336 :D If you need more Piccolo and Dende in your life, I hope you'll scoot over to my new story, [Ajisa](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26428990/chapters/64387969).
> 
> You can follow me on twitter @dbzkink for updates and I'm always happy to chat there or on discord, dbzkink#0675. You can also support my writing on [ko-fi](http://ko-fi.com/dbzkink).
> 
> Thank you for all your kudos and comments and taking the time to read!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Last Call](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25530766) by [dbzkink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dbzkink/pseuds/dbzkink)




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